by Desiree Holt
Sitting there in the dark, drinking wine, she replayed every minute of the previous two weeks in her mind, looking for clues. Trying to see if she’d misread anything. But how could you misread the incredible sex they’d had? There was so much emotion in it. That she was sure of. They’d had fun together, learning all the little things about each other.
So what had she missed?
Maybe nothing.
Okay, she was a very smart sophisticated woman who needed to get some real answers. Maybe Lacey had this all set up and Beau knew nothing about it. Maybe he had really meant every single thing he’d said. And maybe she should give him a chance to explain. She wasn’t young and foolish any more. And if she really wanted to make this thing, whatever it was, with Beau work she at least should give him the opportunity to explain.
Okay, she’d wait to see if he still showed up to take her to breakfast, in the morning. If he did, she’d listen to what he had to say. She owed that much to both of them. She was finally smart enough to realize things weren’t always the way they seemed.
Be smart, Sarah. Be daring. Take a chance. Listen to his side.
Finally, when both the wine and her thoughts gave her a headache, she undressed for the third time, yanked on her sleep shirt and crawled into bed. She was finally pushing herself over the edge into sleep when her doorbell rang, followed by heaving knocking on her door.
What the hell?
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” she shouted as she walked barefoot and bare-assed down the hall.
The pounding and bell ringing continued. She looked through the security peephole and took a step back. Beau? Here? At oh-dark-whatever? Raking her hand through her hair she undid the locks on the door and pulled it open. He nearly fell into the foyer.
“Beau? What is going on?”
Beau knew he’d taken a big risk coming over here like this. He was afraid, though, if he called first Sarah would hang up on him. Getting rid of Lacey had taken some doing, especially when he forcibly escorted her out to her car. What a nasty scene that had been, especially when he threatened to have the cops come and haul her off.
All the way over here he’d alternately prayed and beaten himself up for his stupidity. He had no idea what he’d find at Sarah’s but he was determined to deal with whatever was going on. He couldn’t lose her. That just wasn’t an option.
At least she’d opened the door for him. The sight of her rumpled in her sleep shirt made his cock stand at attention. He sent it an urgent message to stand down. This wasn’t the time for sex, not until he made her understand what was going on and how he felt about her.
He took a good look at her, framed in the doorway. She hadn’t been crying, thank god, but he didn’t know if that was a good sign or a bad one. Hopefully she was so mad tears weren’t an option. Anger he could deal with more easily. He didn’t mind pissing her off, he just didn’t want to break her heart. He wanted to haul her into his arms and kiss her but he had shit to take care of first.
“I know it’s late,” he began, “but no way could I wait until morning. Please can I come in, Sarah? Please? I’ll get down on my knees and beg if that’s what it takes, but I need to tell you what that was all about.” And he definitely would do that.
She stared at him for a long time, obviously trying to get a read on him. He knew he was a mess. His clothes probably looked like he’d slept in them and his hair was unkempt. He hadn’t taken the time to put himself together after the confrontation with Lacey. He’d barely been able to keep himself from killing her. Then the big messy scene getting her out of the house.
Fuck. Not what he needed after five hard days, when all he’d wanted was to take Sarah in his arms.
“Please?” he begged again, anguish swirling inside him.
She hauled in a deep breath and slowly let it out.
“Okay. Yes. Because I’d really like to hear whatever you have to say.” She walked ahead of him into the living room, flicking on a couple of lamps then turning when she heard the door close. “How about some coffee? Or would you rather have a drink?”
“I’m pretty sure alcohol is the last thing I need although getting drunk might help wipe away what happened at the house. But I will take coffee. Thanks.”
While she brewed two cups in her single serving coffee maker, he stood looking out the big window in the living room. He was willing to bargain with the devil himself if it meant getting her back.
“Here you go,” she told him in a soft voice, handing him a mug.
He took the coffee from her. “Thank you.”
“Would you like to sit down?” she asked, oh so politely.
“No.” He shook his head then took a swallow of the hot liquid, hoping it would clear his brain and help him focus. “But I’d appreciate it if you did. It will make this easier.”
Something flashed across her face. Pain? Anger? And all his fault. Damn Lacey for doing this and damn him for not laying it all out for Sarah in the beginning.
“If you like.” She sounded the way she might speak to a stranger.
Fuck.
She curled herself into a corner of the couch, sipped at her coffee and looked at him expectantly.
Where to start? Jesus, what a mess.
“First of all,” he began “what you saw at the house tonight had no basis in reality. I want you to know that right from the start. I’m just so sorry you got caught in a messy situation.”
“Messy situation,” she repeated. “That’s an interesting description of what happened.”
“It’s the damn truth.” He began pacing back and forth, unable to stand still. “I should have told you everything about Lacey to begin with.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “You should have.” She cocked her head. “So why didn’t you?”
“Because I was a coward.”
She frowned. “A coward? I don’t understand.”
Another slug of coffee. More pacing. Finally he set the mug down and shoved his hands in the pockets of his slacks.
”I didn’t tell you because I was embarrassed about the whole thing. Ashamed.”
Sarah lifted her eyebrows. “Ashamed? Embarrassed?” she repeated. “About what?”
“That I’d been stupid enough to marry a brainless gold digger like Lacey Everhart.” And wasn’t that just the uncomfortable reality. For a man who thought he was so smart he’d been pretty fucking stupid. “I don’t really have much of an excuse. I was beating myself up for walking out on you the way I did in New Orleans. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I couldn’t stop dreaming about you every damn night. That one night was so incredible I couldn’t get it out of my head.”
“And?” she prompted.
“And I’m not really the playboy type. Once I got my feet under me, got really established in the NFL, I wanted to get married, have a home and a family. It’s what I’ve always wanted, not the kind of party life some of the guys seem to live for.”
“Isn’t that what you got?”
“Oh, yeah. Right.” He snorted. “I guess I got what I deserved, marriage to a lush who slept with anything in pants when I wasn’t around. Someone who spent my money like I was printing it in the basement and thought she deserved a reward for giving birth to a child she then ignored.”
“Not the happy little family, I guess.” There was no mistaking the edge to her voice.
“Far from it.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I’d just caught her in bed with my backup on the team, the most recent in a long line of playmates. And Babs clued me in to how she was around Toby, either being mean or ignoring him altogether. That was the frosting on the cake.” He reached for his mug, looked into it and discovered it empty and set it down again. “I wanted it with you, Sarah. Lacey was a poor substitute and I guess I deserved whatever I got.”
“I’ll get some more coffee.” Sarah started to rise from the couch.
“No.” He held up a hand. “I’m fine. No, not fine,” he corrected himself, “but I don’t think I should drink m
ore coffee.”
She was silent for a long moment. “That must all have been so devastating for you, Beau,” she said at last. “
He relaxed an infinite amount when her voice sounded softer, warmer.
“And humiliating.” he went on. “All the world could see how stupid I’d been.” He clenched his fists then relaxed them. He hadn’t let any grass grow under his feet that time. “But one thing money can buy you is a damn good lawyer.” He started pacing again. “Mine was a shark. Before I could blink I was divorced, Lacey had a hefty property settlement and I had sole custody of Toby.”
“Lucky for him,” she said.
He could almost see a smile on her face. Still, he knew he was not out of the woods here yet. Far from it.
“The divorce decree stipulated she have no contact with him,” he went on, rubbing the back of his neck to ease some of the tension there. “I guess when he’s old enough I can tell him the truth and he can decide for himself if he wants to get to know her. But in the meantime she gets nowhere near him or the money faucet shuts off. And that’s the last thing she wants.”
“So what was tonight all about? Please help me understand.”
“Lacey is desperate, apparently more so than usual. She gets her money as a monthly allowance, otherwise she’d blow the whole thing. Apparently she’s gotten herself deep in debt and wanted back on the gravy train.” He shuddered. “I’d shoot myself first.”
“But she knew—“
“The codes. And she had keys. I know, I know.” He looked off at a point somewhere, anywhere but at her. A bitter taste washed into his mouth. He’d been shocked and disappointed when he’d gotten the answer to that question. Someone was going to lose their job and their head over it.
“So how—“
Beau held out his hand, palm out, silently asking her to finish listening to him. “Here’s another kick in the pants. I learned she’s been fucking Rich, the guy from my agent’s office who handles some of my stuff, like this trip. He got everything for her. Even called to tell her I got out of the dinner tonight so I’d be home earlier than I expected.” The anger he felt about that, the sense of betrayal, still boiled angrily in his system. He forced himself to push that aside, turn and look at Sarah. God, she was just so beautiful, so real, so…so…everything.
He could see his words shocked her.
“How awful to be betrayed like that by someone you trust.”
“No shit. He’ll be lucky if he gets a job picking up trash after this. Anyway, he overheard me talking to you on the phone so he knew I had no plans to see you tonight. That left the coast clear for her to do her dirty work.”
Sarah wrinkled her forehead. “But she had no idea I’d be coming to the house. So what was her Plan B?”
“Get this.” Beau rubbed his face again, as if he could wipe everything away. “She actually planned to call you and say she was phoning for me and you should just come on ahead.”
“I just made it easier for her.” Sarah uncurled her legs, leaned forward and placed her coffee mug on the low table, the liquid now gone cold. “I wouldn’t have done it, you know. Come if she’d called me. You’d never have someone contact me that way. You’d do it yourself.”
“But she didn’t know that.” Beau stopped and pulled her up from the couch so she was facing him. Just the contact of his hands against her soft skin sent a blast of heat through him. It also anchored him. He felt as if he was fighting for his life here. He couldn’t lose her, not after just finding her again. “When I saw your car out front I thought, Damn! Sarah’s here. Thank god, because that’s the only face I want to see right now.”
“Didn’t you see the other car?” she asked.
He nodded. “Yeah, but it looks a lot like Babs’ car. I thought for some reason she’d left it parked outside.”
Her lips formed a round O.
He stroked his thumbs over her cheekbones. “Do you believe me? Please, Sarah, say that you do.”
“First tell me what happens next with Lacey.”
A hard look came over his face. “I told her if she didn’t get the hell out of my house I’d call the cops and have them arrest her for trespassing. My attorney’s in court first thing in the morning to get a restraining order. She’ll have to stay away from Toby. Me and you as well. Violate the order, go to jail.”
He looked directly into her eyes, trying to read whatever was in there. Did she believe him? Would she give him another chance or just kick his ass to kingdom come? Couldn’t she see how desperate he was?
When she didn’t say anything panic raced through him. “Sarah, I am so damn sorry this mess spilled over onto you. I should have told you at the beginning.”
“Yes,” she agreed, ”you should have.” And then she smoothed her palm over one of his cheeks as if she could wipe away the mess. “But at least you did now.”
“I did and I’ll never keep anything from you again. I love you so much.” He brushed a soft kiss over her lips. “Take a chance on me, Sarah. I want you to take a chance.”
He could hardly breathe while he waited for her answer.
“You know,” she said in that soft voice, “when I saw you at Sharks headquarters and learned you were on the team, I wondered if Fate had brought us together here in Tampa, and that Fate meant for us to be together.”
Then she smiled, and in that expression was everything he’d been hoping for and been too afraid to even expect.
“So I’ll take that dare, Mr. Football Hero, and dare you right back. How could I not?”
“Thank god,” he breathed.
Then wrapped his arms around her and took her mouth in a kiss that scorched him to the soles of his feet. He’d spend the rest of his life telling her how much he loved her, starting with this kiss.
“Wow!” she said, blinking, when he lifted his head. “Just wow.”
“You’re not kidding.” He vowed then and there never to do anything stupid to endanger their relationship again, and to keep anything from ever spoiling it.
“I can hardly wait to tell Toby,” he went on, tracing the curve of her jawline with the tip of one finger. “Maybe we can get started pretty soon on getting him a little brother or sister.” Then he sobered. “If that’s what you want, I mean. I want whatever you want.”
“We’ll work it out together,” she assured him.
“I know your job is important and—“
She touched her fingertips to his mouth. “Lots of mothers have careers today and are excellent moms to their children. We’ll manage, especially with Babs.”
“Well, all right then!” he exulted, sweeping her up in his arms. “I think we need to take this discussion to the bedroom to celebrate. And later today, when I’m better prepared, I have a very important question to ask you.”
She gently bit his lower lip. “And the answer will be yes.”
USA Today best-selling and award-winning author Desiree Holt writes everything from romantic suspense and contemporary on a variety of heat levels up to erotic, a genre in which she is the oldest living author. She has been referred to by USA Today as the Nora Roberts of erotic romance, and is a winner of the EPIC E-Book Award, the Holt Medallion and a Romantic Times Reviewers Choice nominee. She has been featured on CBS Sunday Morning and in The Village Voice, The Daily Beast, USA Today, The (London) Daily Mail, The New Delhi Times and numerous other national and international publications.
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Published by Desiree Holt
Edited by Wizards in Publishing LLC
Cover by Croco Designs
Copyright © 2018 Desiree Holt
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From Desiree
People ask me all the time if I always wanted to be a writer. I don’t know if “always” is the word but certainly for all the years I can remember. I was a voracious reader, as were my mother and sister, and books held a royal place in our home. The funny thing is I always thought I would write mysteries because that’s what we all read. I didn’t read my first romance until 2004, when I was sitting with the same three chapters of a mystery on my computer that had been there for three months. But then my eyes were opened and they never closed.