Better Haunts and Graveyards

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Better Haunts and Graveyards Page 7

by Angela Roquet


  Dylan’s stuff from North Carolina finally arrived in the mail—after an accidental trip to some little town in Wyoming. A dark blue polo hugged his wide shoulders. He’d paired the shirt with white shorts and loafers that matched my cocktail dress.

  Glinda had forgone her shiny black go-to duds in favor of a summery dress for the occasion, too. She looked cute as a button with her wicker basket purse and silver flats. Even Broomzilla had dressed things up. Silver ribbons wove through her bristles and sparkled in the evening sun as she chased Zelda’s cats away from the cake table.

  With everyone gathered together and dressed to the nines, I was hoping to score some frame-worthy family photos. The walls in the house were just too naked now that I had so much to be grateful for.

  As Wanda lit the candles on Dylan’s birthday cake and everyone began to sing, the gate smacked the fence, and Randal Thorpe stormed into the backyard.

  “It was her!” He pointed at Glinda. “She’s the one who rallied the ghosts. Why aren’t you punishing her, too?” He jumped up and down like a petulant child, and drool dribbled from his teeth as his face elongated into that of a Doberman’s.

  Zelda hardly waited for him to finish shifting before she shot a rainbow-colored laser beam of magic right at his ass. The big dog shrank to teddy-bear size with a squeak. Before he could make a run for it, Glinda scooped him up in her wicker basket and snapped the lid shut.

  “And we all lived happily ever after,” she said with a dramatic bow.

  “Well, not just yet.” I turned around to find Dylan kneeling behind me, an open ring box in his palm. “Marry me, Margo.”

  I pressed my hands to my cheeks. “But...what if you die?”

  “Then I’ll die the happiest bat alive. As long as you say yes.”

  “Yes!” I threw myself at him, and we fell in a heap on the grass.

  Everyone clapped and cheered—even Roger, who had thankfully turned his attentions to my cousin. He eyed her wicker basket, but I couldn’t tell if he was wary or jealous of Randal’s new ride. I pictured Roger in something a little classier, like a felt top hat.

  “To the lucky love bats!” Zelda said, lifting her glass of champagne in a toast.

  Dylan slipped the engagement ring on my finger and helped me to my feet, but instead of heading for the refreshments table, we made a beeline for the back door.

  “What!” Roger shouted. “No celebratory orgy? Isn’t that a Hernández family tradition or something? I feel so cheated.”

  “The night’s still young, munchkin.” Glinda shot him a sly wink, but whatever happened after that, I was sure I’d hear about from Zelda during our morning cookie date. My night was booked with a bat.

  I was ninety-nine percent sure that Dylan’s family curse was absolutely broken. But having my magic doubted and belittled my entire life wasn’t something I could shrug off overnight.

  It was just as well. Because until I was one hundred and ten percent sure my batty fiancé was in the clear, I intended to rock his socks off every waking moment, starting right now.

  To check out all the side-splitting books in the Magic and Mayhem Universe, go to https://magicandmayhemuniverse.com/

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I AM SO VERY GRATEFUL to Robyn Peterman for inviting me to play in her Magic and Mayhem Universe again! I love her quirky, hilarious style, and I can’t wait to read more adventures set in the magical land of Assjacket, West Virginia, where the witches are wicked fun and the Shifters run wild and free!

  Great big thanks to my husband for all the feedback, encouragement, and proofreading—and for taking care of the house, our kiddo, and me while I write. You are the glue that holds my whole world together. I love to pieces! I also must thank my mama from the bottom of my heart for letting me watch Wizard of Oz on repeat as a kid and for being a badass real estate agent, both of which played a part in the making of Margo West. And finally, a megaton of thanks to my Grim Readers and to my critique group, the Four Horsemen of the Bookocalpyse, who continually inspire me to be a better writer.

  Also by Angela Roquet

  Haunted Properties: Magic and Mayhem Universe

  How to Sell a Haunted House

  Better Haunts and Graveyards

  .

  Blood Vice

  Blood Vice (FREE at all major e-bookstores!)

  Blood and Thunder

  Blood in the Water

  Blood Dolls

  Thicker Than Blood

  Blood, Sweat, and Tears

  Flesh and Blood

  Out for Blood

  .

  Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc.

  Graveyard Shift (FREE at all major e-bookstores!)

  Pocket Full of Posies

  For the Birds

  Psychopomp

  Death Wish

  Ghost Market

  Hellfire and Brimstone

  Limbo City Lights (short story collection)

  The Illustrated Guide to Limbo City

  .

  Spero Heights

  Blood Moon

  Death at First Sight

  The Midnight District

  Alpha Girls (2019)

  .

  Sacred Realms

  Daughter of the War

  Sister of the Realm (2019)

  .

  other titles

  Crazy Ex-Ghoulfriend

  Backwoods Armageddon

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  USA Today bestselling author Angela Roquet is a great big weirdo. She collects Danger Girl comic books, owls, skulls, random craft supplies, and all things Joss Whedon. She's a fan of renewable energy, marriage equality, and religious tolerance. As long as whatever you're doing isn't hurting anyone, she's a fan of you, too.

  .

  Angela lives in Missouri with her husband and son. She's a member of SFWA and HWA, as well as the Four Horsemen of the Bookocalypse, her epic book critique group, where she's known as Death. When she's not swearing at the keyboard, she enjoys boating with her family at Lake of the Ozarks and reading books that raise eyebrows.

  .

  Find out more about Angela and her books online at www.angelaroquet.com

 

 

 


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