by Blair Young
Of course, that would mean that I’d be riding with Damon in the morning. I wasn’t thrilled about the idea of hanging onto him as we were on the back of his motorcycle, but then, I didn’t feel I had much of a choice if I wanted to get to school in time to really talk to Abby.
If she wasn’t going to pick me up that meant I’d have to wait for Susan, and Susan always dropped me off right before class started. I’d just have to suck it up and make the ride. It wasn’t too far, I’d survive.
I just hoped to God whatever Abby wanted to talk to me about wasn’t too bad.
I didn’t know how much more bad news I could take.
Chapter 7
Sutton
I hopped off the back of Damon’s bike before he even got it over to park. I told him I wanted to be dropped off right at the door of the school so I could talk to Abby, and he obliged. I was glad, though I wasn’t too happy with the looks I got from the other kids as I dashed up the stairs and into the school.
I was sure there were still rumors going around surrounding me and Damon as well, but, right now, I didn’t have time to worry about that. Right now, I just had to talk to Abby.
I found her near her locker. She was leaning with her back against another locker, her books clasped to her chest. She smiled when she saw me, and she motioned for me to follow her into one of the empty classrooms.
Immediately, I could see there was something about her that was different than normal. I thought I’d seen her in all her different forms – with makeup, without makeup, dressed for school, dressed down for a Saturday.
Right after she got up, dressed for a party, but there was something about her that was different today. Something I couldn’t place my finger on. That is, until she looked me right in the eye.
It was then that I realized she’d been crying. Her makeup, though she had gone light with it that day, was smeared, and her nose was red. Her eyes were watery and she sniffled as she tried to force a smile when we were alone, but I could see the pain in her face.
Even the way she held herself told me something was wrong. And, I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I was always the one who was broken, and though I knew she was going through some things herself, she didn’t seem to be ruined by them.
At least, not like she was right now. She wasn’t just sad like she had been the past few days, she seemed defeated, like she was ready to give up.
“What’s going on?” I asked softly.
She looked around. “I know I don’t have to ask you this, but do you promise to keep it to yourself?”
I gave her a look of surprise. Of course, she didn’t have to ask me not to talk about her problems. “Who would I talk to?”
“I don’t know,” she said shaking her head. “I’m not thinking clearly.”
“What’s going on?” I asked again.
“Peter and I broke up,” she said. The words came fast and with deliberation to them, and she forced a smile, though I could see she was fighting the tears as she did.
“What?” I gasped. “I didn’t know things were getting that bad between you two.”
“They kind of went downhill fast,” she admitted. “Sort of like how we started.”
“Did it have anything to do with me? Like with Damon or Chad?” I asked. I didn’t want to make the situation about me, but I couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with the fact Peter was good friends with both, and he knew how good of friends I was with Abby.
I was already afraid Abby was going to end up bullied or picked on because of the fact she wanted to be my friend, though it was hard to imagine a girl as popular as her could possibly be bullied by the others in school.
Not even Molly seemed to have the power to get anyone to bully Abby, and she could turn the entire school against me in a heartbeat. Then again, if she had anything to do with this, I would put myself on the line again to make sure she left my friend alone.
I didn’t care if it wound up getting me expelled for the rest of the year. I wasn’t going to let anyone touch Abby.
“Or did it have something to do with Molly?” I asked at last. “Because if it did”-
My words hung in the air, and Abby shook her head. “Molly didn’t have anything to do with me and Peter.”
That was some relief, but she didn’t tell me if it had anything to do with me. Or with Damon or Chad. But, Abby also didn’t give me the chance to ask again, either.
“I did hear something about Molly, though,” she said. “And that’s really what I wanted to talk to you about.”
My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach all over again. I hated to see my friend in pain, but there was a part of me that had been relieved when she started talking about her own problems when we were alone. It gave me some hope that she might be confiding in me and it wasn’t something else that had to do with me.
My anxiety was already through the roof, and I wasn’t sure how to handle what she would tell me. Shoot, I didn’t even know what was about to come out of her mouth. With Molly, it could be just about anything.
“I’ll make it fast, the bell’s about to ring,” Abby said quickly. “So, I was getting into my locker right before I left yesterday. There weren’t a lot of people left in here, so I could hear what the other kids in the hall were talking about.”
“And?” I asked.
“Molly wasn’t around, but her two favorite cronies, you know, Bailey and Jessica?” she asked. I nodded. I knew the two girls only because they were constantly hanging around Molly. Of course, all the other girls seemed to be constantly hanging around her, but there was something about the two of them who had really gotten bad lately.
“Well, they were talking about Molly, and they said that she was bragging about how she’s really put you in your place,” Abby replied.
I wanted to laugh. “She’s hardly talked to me at all since I got back to school, and I’d say if anything she was avoiding me because she doesn’t want me to hit her again.”
“That’s not it,” Abby shook her head. “They weren’t just talking about this year.”
“What do you mean?” I asked in surprise. I knew Molly had been behind a lot of the things that had happened to me this year, but I’d not had any contact with her since middle school. When I left the school to start attending another district, she and I had only exchanged a couple letters before we lost touch with each other.
I figured it was just because we were growing apart from the distance, and though I hated it at the time, I knew it was bound to happen. So, what could she have done to me that would have been before this year?
“Bailey told Jess that Molly told her she had been the one who had spray painted your locker when you were in middle school,” Abby said in a hushed tone. I looked at her with my mouth agape. There were a number of things I could have guessed she might say, but that wasn’t on the list.
Molly had been the only person in school to be on my side when I was being bullied, so why would she be the one to paint my locker like that?
“That’s not all,” Abby continued. “She also said she swiped Damon’s phone, and she was the one who texted you that you should kill yourself.”
My mouth fell open further, if that was even possible. Molly had acted like my friend. She had been the one to tell me that Damon wasn’t worth it after the text had been sent. She had seen the pain that I had gone through, and she knew it was because of that text that I almost did go through with suicide.
To think that she had been behind it the entire time? It was unfathomable.
“Are you sure?” I managed at last. I wanted to burst into tears. I was mad that Bailey had said that. I was mad that Abby had overheard, but most of all, I was mad that my entire friendship with Molly had been a joke.
I thought we were best friends. I thought she would be there for me through anything. I thought she had been the only one who was there for me when I had no one else. It crushed me to think that she was really the one behind all of the pain and su
ffering I’d been through.
If I had gone through with the suicide, she would be the one who was at fault, not Damon.
“I’m sure,” Abby said with a nod. “I just thought you should know, this girl isn’t who you think she is, or was.”
“I’m glad you told me,” I said after a pause. I wasn’t sure if I really as glad, or if I was just in shock, but we didn’t have the time to talk about it any further. With the bell ringing, it was time for us to be headed to class.
“Are you all right?” Abby asked. I nodded, but I wasn’t. My mind was spinning, and I wasn’t able to really comprehend what it was she had just told me. But, there wasn’t time to sit and think about it. I had to get through the day.
I wanted to go confront Molly about everything right then, but I knew that wouldn’t get me anywhere. For all I knew, she wanted me to come at her again. She wanted to bring me down, but for the life of me, I didn’t know why. I’d never done anything to her but try to be her friend.
That’s all I wanted when we were in middle school, and that’s all I really would have wanted again. But for some reason, she had been the one behind all the bullying? It didn’t make sense for her to be so two-faced to me.
Why didn’t she like me? Why did she got through all that trouble to act like my friend when she was really stabbing me in the back when I wasn’t looking?
It was hard for me to even believe she was telling the truth. But then, considering all she had done to me in just a few weeks, it wasn’t too far off the mark. Maybe Molly didn’t change. Maybe I was just now seeing her true colors after all these years.
I had to admit, I didn’t think Abby was going to have good news when I walked into the school that morning, but I really didn’t think she was going to have something that would launch me further into a depression. I thought I was as low as I could have gotten, but now I saw that I could, in fact, sink lower than ever.
And it was all Molly’s fault, yet again.
I was so distracted, it was hard to get through the morning, and by lunchtime, I had a difficult time caring about anything. I didn’t even have much of a reaction when Chad dumped a carton of milk on my lap in the cafeteria, only to act like it was an accident when the teachers came to see what was going on.
I knew he was mad at me for not only not forgiving him myself, but for the fact Damon also refused to be his friend. He didn’t care if it was Damon’s choice or not, I was going to take the heat for it, and he would make sure I felt the shame.
But, compared to Molly, the milk on my lap was rather tame, I thought.
After all, milk could be washed off, the wet would dry.
But Molly’s betrayal, that wasn’t just for now. That had lasted our entire lives, and I was feeling the wound fresh and raw. I’d thought I came to terms with the fact she didn’t like me now that we were in high school, and I blamed the fact that Damon did.
According to what Abby heard, however, this wasn’t anything new. In fact, Molly had evidently wanted me out of the picture for a lot longer than I even realized. Long before high school, long before she had lost weight and became one of the hottest girls in school.
For some reason, she had hated me even when we were little kids. And she had hated me to the point I came near to killing myself because of it. And the entire time, she never let on that it was her. She let me think it was the guy I’d had a crush on for as long as I could remember.
All the times she had been there for me, listening to me cry, listening to me say how much it hurt and how close I’d come to actually killing myself and knowing that she was the one behind it the whole time, that was why I felt ashamed. It had nothing to do with anything that was going on in my life right now.
That was a stab in my heart that struck deeper than anything Chad could do to me. That was the betrayal of a best friend.
Compared to that, a little spilled milk was nothing.
Chapter 8
Sutton
I leaned over the sink, doing my best to rinse the milk out of the front of my shirt. I knew it was going to start to smell sour in the mugginess of the room, and I didn’t want Susan to be called to come pick me up.
She was always coming in to save the day, and I was getting tired of it. I didn’t want to be the girl who was always going home with her foster mom because of some trick that was played on her. But, if the teacher were to find out about the mess on the front of my shirt, she was likely going to send me home anyway.
I had to get the rest of it out before the bell rang, and I knew I was running out of time.
Just when I was about to give up and risk the rest of the day smelling of sour dairy, Abby walked into the room.
“There you are,” she said. “God, I just heard what happened and I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“I’m trying to get most of it out of my shirt so I don’t get sent home,” I replied. “I don’t want Susan to find out about this. The last thing I need is for her to start grilling me on the bullying that’s not stopping.”
“Do you think she’d go to the principal?” Abby asked.
“Not that it would do any good. I mean, you’ve seen the way Chad and Molly work together. Who knows if Molly had anything to do with this, or if Chad was just being a jerk,” I said with a shake of my head. “Do you really think the principal is going to hunt down every single student and tell them they have to be nice to me? I think that would just make it worse.”
Abby didn’t say anything, but she was digging around in her backpack. “Here. Put this one. At least it’s not going to smell.”
She handed me a shirt, and I took it reluctantly, but gratefully. “Why do you have a spare shirt in your backpack?”
“It’s been in there a while,” she said with a laugh. “I think I put it in there one day when I thought we were going to have PE and we didn’t or something.”
I grinned. “Thank God you’re close to my size.”
“Close enough no one is going to think anything of you wearing my shirt,” she grinned. “Hey, do you want to have a girl’s day this weekend? But like, just you and me. No boys, no drama, no talking about any of the stuff that’s been going on. Just a good old fashioned girl’s day where we can be girls and not have to worry about all that life is demanding of us right now.”
I nodded quickly. That was just what I needed. “I’d love to.”
The bell rang, interrupting our conversation, but she smiled. “Good. That’s just what I think I need, too.”
“Are you doing okay?” I asked, concern in my voice. I wanted her to know that I cared, even if I was going through a lot of my own problems.
Abby nodded. “I’ll be fine. It’s just rough right now is all.”
Before I had the chance to ask her anything else, she ducked out the door, letting me finish rolling my shirt up and sticking it in the front pocket of my backpack. I wasn’t sure if I should try to take it home and clean it up, or if I should just toss it.
But, I didn’t have a lot of clothes, and even if Susan did offer to take me shopping any time I wanted, that didn’t mean I wanted to waste a garment because it had a bit of milk on it. At the same time, I didn’t want it to make my backpack smell, either.
I was just going to have to do my best to get the smell out of my backpack when I got back home, and put the shirt in the laundry before it got too bad. If I played my cards right, I would be able to take care of it before Susan was even around to find out I needed to clean it in the first place.
Even if she didn’t come to the school to pick me up, I didn’t want to have to explain to her what had happened at lunch. I knew the bullying that I dealt with made her mad, and I didn’t want her to get involved any more than she already was.
The last thing I needed was for Molly to start picking on me for going to someone else. Though I knew that was what I was supposed to do when this was going on, I still didn’t want to go through that, too. It was bad enough to have her and Chad both on me like they were a
s it was, I didn’t want things to get even worse.
Though graduation was coming up, I still had to get through the days, weeks, and months to get there, and with Molly and Chad being a constant along with the whispers and gossip that was floating around the school, there were times I didn’t think I was going to make it all the way to graduation.
After changing my shirt, I paused to check myself in the mirror one more time before heading out to class. I knew I didn’t have a lot of extra time to spare, so I made it fast. I looked tired and a bit of a mess, but I was presentable to make it through the rest of the day at least.
And with Abby out there, I knew I had someone who had my back against Molly and the other bullies in school, even if we couldn’t be around each other all day long.
Abby was right. It would do us both some good to have a girl’s day. A day where we could forget about all the stuff the world was shoving in our faces and just focus on ourselves. We were both going through a lot, and though I wasn’t entirely sure of everything Abby was going through, being together was sure to help her, too.
With a forced smile, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and headed out of the bathroom and into the hall. I only had a minute to be in class, and I wasn’t going to be late. Chad might have made me miss most of lunch, but I wasn’t going to let him make me late for class, too.
I slipped through the door and made a beeline for my seat, ignoring the looks I knew I was getting from both Molly and Chad. I had a feeling Abby would have looked in my direction as well, but I didn’t make eye contact with anyone.
If there was anybody in the room I would have been happy to smile at, it would have been her, but I didn’t want to draw any more attention to myself than what I already had. Most of the kids who were in class had seen what Chad had done to me, and they had seen me not fight back.
I was sure they would have expected me to start throwing my fist again after what I did to Molly a few weeks ago when she came at me in the cafeteria, but I didn’t want to be that girl. I didn’t want to be the one who was always getting in fights along with everything else.