by L A Cotton
I knew the whole thing was a bad idea. We had only been in the car five minutes when Talia announced that she didn't have time to drive us to Portland. So, here we were, shopping in Reibeckitt. I was ninety-nine percent sure that she had orchestrated the whole thing to make a point or to make me feel uncomfortable. Either way, she’d succeeded.
Not all that much bigger than Chastity Falls, Reibeckitt housed a handful of boutiques and independent stores that we spent the last hour roaming around. I bought nothing for myself but had to help Elena carry all of her bags. The girl had no limits. Talia seemed to know someone in every store we visited, and after watching her fake it up with someone for the third time, I almost gagged.
"Seriously, why did I agree to this?" I said to myself, but Elena overheard and shuffled closer. "Because you're a good friend and wanted to spend the day with me." Elena winked, and I couldn't help but smile.
She was right; I needed to make more of an effort. Sure, she had Tyson, but she always tried to include me in her own way. I owed her a lot.
"What do you say we find somewhere to recharge our batteries? Lunch?" I said, and Elena's eyes lit up at my suggestion.
"Did someone say lunch?" Cassie and Lydia joined us, as we continued watching Talia fawn over the shop attendant.
We all looked at one another and said in chorus, "Lunch."
Talia reluctantly agreed to show us somewhere to eat. I had to hand it to her, I never knew burgers, fries, and a shake could taste so good.
"I think I'm in food heaven," Lydia said through her mouthful of homemade burger.
"Told you; best diner in the whole damn town."
I nibbled at the remaining fries, scanning the small diner. It was full of kids, probably not all that younger than us. No one knew me here and yet that didn't stop the ball of nerves from bouncing around my stomach. Reibeckitt was Cole Calder's town, and he had hurt Jackson. The thought caused me to choke on a fry and I grabbed my soda, taking a big gulp trying to wash it down.
"Are you okay?" Elena asked, concerned at my coughing fit.
I nodded, just as the door opened and a new group of diners entered. They were older, maybe seniors in high school, and my hairs electrified.
"Well, well, if it isn't Jarrod's piece of hot ass." A lean guy with shaggy blond hair stepped forward, his eyes trained on Talia.
"Jealous, Smith?" Talia didn't even bother looking at the guy and carried on picking at her garden salad.
"Of a bitch like you? In your dreams. Never understood what Stark saw in you. Heard a rumor you got kicked to the curb by one of them and came running back to him."
Talia flinched but quickly composed herself. Slowly, she squared her shoulders and turned to face the guy and his friends. "What do you think Jarrod will say when he finds out his baby cousin was talking shit to his girlfriend?"
The guy's face paled, and he stuttered, "Fuck, T, you know I'm only messing." He glanced at the rest of us, his eyes lingering on me for a little longer. I dropped my head pretending to be busy but felt him watch me for a few seconds longer.
"See you around."
I didn't know why, but his words punched me straight in the stomach. He hadn't said see you around Talia, or even T, no, he had looked directly at me and said see you around. And it almost sounded like a threat.
Through my downcast eyes, I watched him stalk to the counter and order. I didn't recognize him at all. But he recognized me; I saw it flash in his eyes when they lingered on me.
Jackson walked away to protect me from Braiden, but I was beginning to wonder if the damage was already done. I'd fallen for Jackson Pierce… and became an enemy of his family. Did that make me an enemy of his enemies as well?
“Just remember, you got this. No one gives a shit about last year; I bet they can’t even remember what went down at Dead Man’s Cove…” Nice try, but I doubt that, I thought to myself as Elena continued her pre-class pep talk.
After a weekend of staying dorm bound, I think she felt it was her duty to pull me out of the hole I had fallen into since seeing Jackson at the party.
“I’ll be fine. I’ve totally got this.” The fakeness in my voice didn’t convince either of us, and Elena pursed her lips, concern clouding her eyes. I offered a weak smile before entering the Pauling Building.
My eyes scanned the crowd of students for any sign of Jackson, but they didn’t find him. Instead, they landed on Briony, who was glaring right at me. The intensity in her eyes stopped me in my tracks. She looked wild; her red hair styled on top of her head in a ponytail with curls falling out all over the place and the kohl liner making her eyes look harsh. Braiden might have agreed to leave me alone, but from Briony’s expression, she was less than happy about it.
Taking a deep breath, I lifted my head and followed the signs for the class. A steady stream of students entered the room, and I filed in keeping my head down. The desks were arranged in clusters, and I found an empty seat on a half-filled table, recognizing a couple of people from my classes last year.
Students continued to shuffle in until there was only a couple of empty seats left, and with each seat occupied, I breathed a sigh of relief. When the professor cleared his throat to start the class, I finally relaxed into the chair.
“Welcome to poetry, I’m Professor Peterson. This semester we will be cover-”
The door flung open and a voice behind me said, “Sorry, professor. It won’t happen again.”
I pushed myself down into the seat, gripping the sides with my hands. Why? Why did this have to be happening? Surely, he could have taken a different class. And then I realized something even more horrifying. The only empty seat was at my cluster of desks.
My eyes fluttered shut and I started to panic, the anxiety clawing at my windpipe and causing my breath to come in short, shallow bursts. How could I sit opposite him for the next year and pretend nothing had happened? I couldn’t. I would have to be transferred out of the class, pronto. It hurt too damn much.
When I was away from him, I could try to hate him. Try to focus on the bad. But when my eyes found him, I could only remember the way his lips felt against mine. How safe and cherished I felt wrapped in his arms. My heart wouldn’t forget. And if it wouldn’t forget, I couldn’t be around him.
I just couldn’t.
The first half hour wasn't too bad. Professor Peterson had us watch a short YouTube clip on the projector, which meant Jackson turned his chair away from me. He wasn't actually sitting opposite me, but more to the side and one seat down. It was still one seat too close.
He didn't look in my direction once, and it was like a vise squeezing my heart. Had he really just moved on or was he only playing the part Braiden had insisted on to perfection?
Between surviving the accident, losing Danny, Mom, and Dad, and then Jackson bringing me back to life only to crush me, I didn't know anything anymore.
Over the summer, I got up each morning, plastered on my fake smile for the world, and carried on. To the outsider, I was just a quiet girl hiding behind her oversized hoodies and skinny jeans, but to anyone who looked close enough, I was a broken girl trying to hold it together every single minute of every single day.
It was exhausting.
The professor’s voice pulled me from my thoughts as the lights came back on, and people started scooting their chairs back to their desks. I watched Jackson because I couldn’t help it. A little voice in my head was screaming at me to look away, to look anywhere but at him, but my eyes had a mind of their own. I couldn’t stop them even if I tried.
Jackson hovered over his seat, dragging it back around to the desk, and then lowered himself into it. Just as he dropped down fully, he lifted his head and his eyes connected with mine. I wasn’t sure how long we sat like that, looking at each other, but neither of us made any attempt to look away. It had been almost four months since he’d looked at me. Almost five since he splintered my heart and rendered it irreparable, ripping open old scars in the process. I had imagined this moment
over and over. Played it out in my head. The pain and hurt I would feel seeing him again. But I hadn’t anticipated one thing.
The devastation that reflected in his eyes as he stared back at me.
Chapter Four
Jackson
"What's eating you? You've had a stick up your ass all fucking week. Knock it off, you're starting to piss me off," Braiden spat out.
"He needs to get some. Calms me down every time," Kyler chimed in, and my fist clenched at my side.
We had only been back at CFA for two weeks, but it was two weeks too long. Fourteen whole days of searching her out everywhere I went, of scanning the student crowds and hoping to catch just a glimpse.
First day of classes, I walked into Peterson's class and it was like all my fucking dreams had come true. Ana was sitting with her back to me, fiddling with something on the desk. It was perfect; I could sit in the back and keep an eye on her. But the dream quickly became a nightmare when the only empty seat was at the same cluster of desks she was at. I was fucked. Watching her from afar was one thing but sitting almost next to her—it was too damn much. Then our eyes had collided and pain ripped through my chest. Her eyes were like two empty voids staring back at me. And it was all my fault.
"Pierce, wake the fuck up. We need your head in the game. With Calder on the rampage for blood, the last thing I need is you on your freaking period."
The guys laughed at Braiden's words, but I just glared at him, feeling my jaw tick. Our friendship had been strained for a while, but since the shit with Ana, things were even more tense, and all the guys felt it.
That night back in May, I told Braiden that I would choose Ana over him, and I had meant it. If I thought I could keep her safe from the shit storm he would rain down on us, I would have walked. I would have scooped Ana up and got the hell out of there.
"Why, Braiden? Just tell me why?"
Braiden slammed his fist against the wooden rail and the whole thing shook. "You think I'm going to let some little whore come between us. Between our family? You should know better."
"I'm in love with her. I. Love. Her, Braid," I pleaded, trying to ignore the rage bubbling in my stomach and threatening to spill out.
"I don't give a shit if she has a golden fucking pussy, she will not come between us. You will go back in there and end it."
I stared at him. At the guy I had grown up with. My best friend, my brother. Over the years, he had changed. But then again, we both had.
I shook my head and my eye socket burned from where Braiden’s fist had cracked it earlier. "It'll break her. I can't. Don't make me do this. She won’t talk. Ana isn’t like that."
Braiden stepped up close, our noses almost touching. He was pissed, the quick rise and fall of his chest a giveaway. "I'll fucking break her if you don't. Don't test me on this, Jackson. You should remember where you come from. You're a Donohue, maybe not by blood, but you are. And Donohues don't turn their back on family. Ever.
“Don't you give a shit about Dad? About what it would do to him if you picked her over me? Over us? It would crush him. After everything he's done for you. Everything he's given you!"
I slumped back against the cabin wall and sighed. He was right; it would crush Uncle Marcus, and I owed him everything.
Slamming my eyes shut, I pictured Ana. The first time I'd seen her, I knew I wouldn't be able to walk away from her. Just like I knew it would ruin us... both.
"You have to back off. Forget her. If I do this, it ends, Braiden. The threats, Briony, that fuck Chad. All of it." My chest cracked as I said the words, sealing my fate.
Braiden's lips started to curl up in a smirk and I wanted nothing more than to drive my fist into his face. "Done."
"Fine," I gritted out before pushing off the wall and turning to head back into Ana, but Braiden called out to me. "And Pierce?" I turned back to look at him. "I won't forget this."
I nodded, spun on my heels, and yanked open the door. "Neither will I."
Braiden knew me better than I knew myself. He knew that my loyalty to Uncle Marcus and need to protect Ana would back me into a corner. Braiden knew he had me right where he wanted me—by the balls. He owned me. And knew it.
"So, what do we do about Calder? We have a plan yet?" Dennis' voice echoed around the room.
Braiden dragged a hand over his jaw and hissed out a breath. "We wait. We have problems at home to sort first. Coach Parker is determined to weed out drugs on the team this year. Went head to head with Principal Kellar on the matter..."
"Weed out, that shit’s funny, man." Shaun was too busy laughing at himself to notice the pen flying toward him. It grazed his cheek, and he snapped at Braiden, "Fuck man, you nearly took out my eye."
"Well, grow up and pay attention. Coach might not be able to do much without the principal’s support, but he could grow a pair and go higher."
"He wouldn't risk it. Your dad would fire him on the spot."
Braiden glared at Travis. Sure, we all knew Marcus Donohue owned most of the staff on the CFA faculty, but it wasn't something we ever spoke about.
Noticing the rage rolling off Braiden's expression, Travis shuffled uncomfortably on his feet and said, "Hmm, sorry. My bad. I just meant it isn't worth it, is it?"
"Coach has a stick up his ass. He's nearing early retirement, wants to make a stand, and all that bullshit! He could make things difficult for us this year. We have to be more discreet."
"Shit, we're already discreet. How much more cloak and dagger can it get?" Dennis asked.
"Pierce? Care to join us? Or are you going to sulk over there all fucking day?"
I stepped out of the shadows and moved into the center of the room. "You slap a zero-tolerance drug policy on the team. They'll listen to you."
A couple of the guys snickered, but I ignored them, my eyes trained on Braiden. I could see him trying to work out what angle I was playing. After a few seconds, his eyes narrowed before widening. "Jackson's right, I give the drugs-are-bad speech, you guys find me a couple of new hands to keep dealing with no comeback on me, and Coach lays off us for a while."
Fuck. That wasn't quite what I expected to happen. But then, of course, Braiden's first thought would be to keep things business as usual—he'd just find someone else to do his dirty work.
I hated the drugs. Despised it. I had done some pretty fucked-up things over the last few years, but I never touched any of that shit. People lost control when they were high, and one thing I couldn't ever afford to lose was my control.
When I found out that they had drugged Ana, I almost blew a gasket. After leaving her, I returned to the house, dragged Chad out of bed, and beat him pretty bad. A couple of the guys had to pull me off him and haul him to the medical center. He was off the team after that—my final condition of Braiden’s terms. Choosing to take that shit was one thing but forcing it down someone else’s throat was the lowest of the low. I could overlook what Braiden had done to me—best friends, brothers, we fought all the time, but what he had done to Ana, what he allowed to happen to Ana... it was unforgivable.
And that was exactly the reason why I knew we were on borrowed time before things between us reached their expiration point.
“Tell me again why we have to go eat with them?” Kyler sounded disgusted at the idea of sitting with the regular student body in the cafeteria.
“Because, dipshit, Dad thinks I need to stamp my authority on the place a little more. Show my face more. No one made you come.”
Kyler dropped his head and muttered something about not being that bothered. Suck ass. Some of the guys were so far up Braiden’s ass that it was hard to see where he ended and they began.
Heads started turning the minute we entered the room. People dropped their lunch and some even gaped with their mouths half full. I rolled my eyes. There was a time I had lapped it up—the attention, the girls—but that shit grew tiring pretty quick. Braiden cracked his knuckles next to me and whispered, “Let’s have some fun.” And I followed his line o
f sight, cursing under my breath.
A couple of freshmen were seated at our table. Although we rarely ate in the cafeteria, there was always one table left empty for us. Just in case.
“Braiden, don’t,” I hissed, but he just patted me on the back. “Lighten up; I’ll go easy on them.”
The couple’s eyes widened as we reached them and the girl nudged the geeky guy, whispering something in his ear. He looked right at us, and I had to give the guy credit. Most guys pissed their pants when they saw Braiden look their way.
“Hmm, can we help you?” The dude sounded like he was about to cry.
“Help us? Guys, he wants to know if he can help us.”
Kyler and Shaun exploded with laughter. I scanned the room and all eyes were trained on us—everyone wondered what Braiden would do next.
“Can you? Help us?” Braiden lowered his head to the girl and breathed her in. “Your girl smells sweet.”
The guy wrapped his arm around her and pulled her away from Braiden, trying to shield her.
“She can help me any day of the week. What do you say? Up for sharing?”
My hand reached around Braiden’s chest and anchored him back. I relaxed slightly when Braiden lifted his hands in surrender. “I’m done. You two fuck off.”
The couple scrambled out of the seats and hurried out the door while the guys taunted them. The whole thing made me want to puke. I slumped down into the chair and stared out across the room. A low hum of whispers echoed around the room. One thing people had come to expect of Braiden was a show—and he never disappointed. Most of them lapped it up or were indifferent, wanting to avoid getting on the wrong side of Braiden. Then my eyes found a face that looked as sick as I felt.
Ana was sitting nestled between Elena and Paul. My synapses fired up watching him brush her arm with his, but she wasn’t giving him the time of day. Her eyes were looking straight at me, the disgust on her face evident. Even pissed she was beautiful. No make-up or overly styled hair; never made up to be something she wasn’t. Ana was real. No matter how hard she tried to hide; she wore her feelings for all to see. I think that was what drew me to her in the first place. And right now, anger was rolling off her in waves. I didn’t need to be close to her to feel it. I could see it. The way her lips pursed slightly and her eyes narrowed. The tense muscles around her jaw. I let myself hold her stare, drawing her in. I was playing a dangerous game; Braiden was to my left, and if he looked around slightly, he would witness everything. But I couldn't look away without trying to show her that I didn’t like it, either. That I hated being a part of it. I needed her to know that.