by L A Cotton
Fuck. I slammed my fist down on the desk welcoming the momentary pain. I hated this. The war raging inside my subconscious. The guilt trying to take hold and eat me up. Uncle Marcus was due back in less than forty-eight hours, and he still had no idea about what had gone down in his absence. But I needed to tell him before the secret swallowed me whole. And before Braiden or Briony beat me to it.
“So, what did he say?” Ana scooted closer, tucking her legs underneath her.
“He’s not coming back yet. Something is up. It has to be. He’s never been gone for this long before.”
Licking the spoon clean, Ana frowned. “What do you think it could be? It’s been two months.”
“I know. But it’s not like I can ask anyone. He sounded okay. Just got cagey when I asked where he was.”
“And he doesn’t know anything?”
I shook my head. Uncle Marcus had called again to let me know that he wouldn’t be arriving back tomorrow as expected. And apart from being reluctant to reveal his whereabouts, he sounded normal. Too normal.
“If he does, he has me fooled.”
Ana moved the ice cream to the nightstand and crawled on top of me, wrapping herself around me. “At least you get a little longer, you know, to think about what you’re going to say to him.” Her lips brushed my neck leaving a trail of tingles as she moved up to my ear.
“Aren’t you supposed to be studying?” I pulled back, cocking my eyebrow at her.
“I was.” Her teeth nipped at my earlobe and I groaned, pressing my hard dick into her, earning a soft moan from her lips.
“Maybe we should take a break?” Winding my hands into her unruly hair, I brought her lips to mine, kissing her deeply.
All the shit melted away when we came together like this. And I got to say, it overwhelmed me a little. Okay, a whole lot. I loved Ana with every fiber of my being, but our feelings, the connection between us, was intense.
“I’m not sure we have time.” Ana’s hand skimmed underneath my sweater, roaming over my chest. I sucked in a sharp breath, bringing my hands to her tank top.
“There’s always time for this,” I said between our kisses, pulling the material up over her head. My hands worked skillfully to unhook her bra.
Ana broke off the kiss and pulled back, shrugging out of her bra. Glossy brown waves framed her face, falling around her milky white tits perfectly. That was the only word to describe her. Perfect. I swallowed hard, letting my eyes drink her in. My girl. My Ana. The girl I’d walk to the ends of the earth for. The girl I’d take a fucking bullet for. Did she know just how far I’d go to protect her?
“What’s wrong?” Her voice was hushed and I met her concerned gaze.
“Nothing. Just thinking.”
“About?”
“Us. School. The future. Everything.” My eyes darted to the floor to the side of the bed. Fuck, I never spoke about my feelings. Not really. But Ana had a way of dragging shit out of me. It was her eyes. Every damn time.
Ana’s finger lifted my chin forcing me to look at her. “Jax, talk to me.”
Jax. My eyelids closed and I focused on my breathing. In and out. In and out. The things you do to me.
“Jackson?”
My eyes opened slowly. “I’m scared.”
I watched for her reaction to my confession, terrified of what I might see in her eyes.
“Scared?” She frowned and my heart pounded at double speed in my chest. When I didn’t reply right away, she reached out for me and glided her hand over my heart, looping it around my shoulder. “Scared of what?”
“Everything. Losing you. Someone getting hurt. Not be able to protect you.”
Her free hand brushed over my jaw and curled around my chin holding me in place. “Jackson, stop. We made our choice. We will get through this. One way or another. I have to believe that, I have to. But I need you to believe it, too. You’re my strength. My reason. You.”
The room shrunk around us until the breath was sucked from my lungs. Last year, I spent time and time again trying to get through to Ana; to pull her out from the black hole trying to claim her. Even when I didn’t know the extent of her loss, I still saw the pain. But staring into her eyes now, all I saw was strength.
Leaning into her, my lips slanted over hers and some of the fear inside dissipated. I hadn’t meant to turn things serious—to tell her my secret. It just happened. I was built to turn my fear into strength. Ever since Dad died, Uncle Marcus pushed us to channel our emotions and fears so that they couldn’t be used against us. And up until meeting Ana, they never had. I had never cared about anything or anyone enough for it to matter. There were Otis and V, but that was different. Otis and Uncle Marcus might have never seen eye to eye, but there was a mutual understanding there.
But Ana? Ana was my Achilles’ heel. Last year proved that. And while I would do whatever it took to keep her safe—even if it meant walking into the lion’s den—it fucking terrified me that I might have to.
Over the next couple of weeks, signs started to show the looming championship game. The team banner hung from the few houses on campus, and crowds of students became lost among the splashes of green, white, and black. Coach insisted that we practice twice as hard and had us out on the field double time.
But after my run-in with Briony and confession to Ana, being around Braiden was the last thing I wanted. Only I didn’t see a way around it. If I walked, Coach wouldn’t let it drop just like that. He’d pull some stunt forcing us together and into a conversation that would only do more harm than good. So, here I was, stuck at another grueling training session, trying to keep my head down and out of Braiden’s path.
“What the fuck was that, Pierce? Get your head out of your ass and run that goddamn offense into the ground,” Coach bellowed from the sideline, and I cursed in the air, earning a belly laugh from Dennis who was somewhere behind me.
My game was off. My whole damn mood was off. More time on the field meant less time with Ana, and she was the only thing that calmed me lately.
The whistle sounded, and Coach yelled, “Change up.”
Unhooking my helmet, I yanked it off my head and jogged up beside Dennis. “He’s killing me out there.”
“You need to get laid. All that tension isn’t good for the field.” He smirked and I cracked my knuckles, considering wiping it off his face.
“What’s up with you out there, Pierce? Lost your balls? Or just your head?” Kyler called over from his position next to Braiden, and I glared at him.
I wanted to go knock the smirk right off his face, but Dennis caught my eye and shook his head in warning. So reining myself in, I shot back, “I’d still outrun your ass on any day of the week.”
Knowing it was the truth, Kyler dropped his head and went to sit at the opposite end of the bench. Braiden cast me a quick glance, but his face didn’t give much away. It’d been the same for most of practice. We avoided each other for the most part. Only got into it when Coach demanded it of us. He went his way, and I went mine.
“Braiden give Kyler the nod to piss me off?” I asked Dennis, who was gulping down one of the bottles of water.
“Nah.” He sprayed some into the air. “He’s just on a power trip. Dick is getting irritating.”
“Any word on Reibeckitt? It’s been two weeks since I heard Braiden was rushing Calder again, and you’ve said nothing.”
“Come on, man. He gives me a hard enough time that I refuse to cut you out. You know there’s a line I can’t cross.”
Dennis was right. He had already gone against Braiden by hanging out with me at practice.
“Don’t let him do anything stupid.”
“You care?”
Do I?
“It’ll have implications for everyone. You know that,” I answered, refusing to give a direct answer to his question.
Coach ordered players back out onto the field, but Dennis and I remained, watching as Braiden ordered his offense into position for a play.
“It
’s all quiet on that front still. Which only means something is going to blow soon. Word has it Calder is biding his time. His face was a mess, and he needed plastic surgery. Roman and Braiden got into it, though; Roman wanted to go against Marcus. You can imagine how that went down.”
I could. Roman was a liability. He was Braiden at that age, only ten times worse.
“What happened to not spilling all the inside secrets?” I mocked and Dennis laughed.
“Figure I may as well cross over to the dark side once and for all. Besides, if shit goes south with this thing with Reibeckitt, I’m out. Dad might want to keep the Donohues happy, but it’s not worth getting killed over. CFA wasn’t my first choice.”
Dennis’ admission surprised me. I knew the inner circle had connections to Marcus and the family. Some were blood related cousins and others were family friends. But it wasn’t something we talked about. Once you were in, you were in. Well, until me.
“Man, I would never ask you to walk, you know th—”
“This isn’t just about you. It’s about Braiden. He’s out of control. People are going to get hurt; they already have. I didn’t sign up for that shit.”
I wasn’t sure anyone really knew what they were signing up for when they entered the Donohue’s world. Even I didn’t know the true extent of the family business. Most things were need to know. That was how it had always been. Uncle Marcus gave the orders and you followed. No questions asked.
“Pierce.” Coach’s voice cut through my foggy head. “Get out there and relieve Nicky. He’s playing worse than you are tonight, which is saying something.”
Reluctantly, I pulled the helmet back on and stalked over to the huddle. The formation was set and I slotted into Nicky’s position behind the defensive line, my eyes meeting Braiden’s across the scrimmage. Fucking perfect. Despite his face being shielded by the helmet guard, I could see his icy stare fixed on me like I was the red flag. All week at practice, my head hadn’t been in the game, but as Braiden’s lip curled up in a smirk, I focused on him and gritted my teeth. I didn’t need to scan the play; I knew exactly what he was going to do.
Kenny hiked the ball to Braiden and the offensive line spread out while Braiden feigned a throw to the runner, clutching the ball tight and making a run for it. Steve covered him and they cut to the left and started running through the defensive line. My instincts took over, adrenaline surging through me, and my feet shot off in their direction. The cornerback attempted to sack Braiden, but Braiden plowed straight into him without breaking so much as a sweat. I maneuvered myself to be running straight at him. With each ragged breath, the distance between us closed. Dropping my shoulder and angling my body slightly, I readied myself for impact.
We collided with such force that it knocked us both back. Not so much that we landed on our butts but enough to cause us to ground to a halt. Pain radiated through my left shoulder, but I shook it off, unwilling to take my eyes off him. I had been so focused on the play, on Braiden charging toward me, that I failed to realize that everyone around us had stopped to watch the scene play out. I glanced around the field out the corner of my eye. Everyone was staring right at us, waiting to see what would happen.
It happened so quickly not even I saw it coming.
Braiden tore off his helmet, hurled the ball at me, catching me off guard and rammed straight into me, his ducked head in the chest winding me. The impact sent us tumbling to the ground and as we fell, his elbow nudged my helmet. The movement caused me to choke for a breath and I managed to loosen it before pulling it off and tossing it aside. We landed and he was on me, covering my body with his own and kicking his padded legs on either side of my body. His fist rained down on my face and pain exploded through my cheekbone and I cursed into the air. Someone called out to us and Braiden looked up for just a second, giving me enough leverage to knock him off me. Scrambling to my feet, Braiden hauled himself up and spun to face me.
“You’re through. So is that bitch of yours,” he gritted out.
My fist replied as it drove into his nose. The crack reverberated around the field, which was now deadly silent.
Braiden didn’t yell out or scream; he didn’t even sway from the impact. He brought his hand to his bloody nose and smeared it away, grinning like a crazy person. “You’re going to regret th—”
“All right, you two. Show’s over.” Coach rushed between us and squared his shoulders. A few of the players, including Dennis, joined him.
“Someone get Donohue out of here, he needs medical.”
Braiden didn’t say a word as Kyler and Travis led him off the field.
“Pierce, you good?”
I touched a hand to my cheek. It would bruise, but other than that, I was okay. I nodded.
“Get out my sight. Someone get him out of here.”
“On it, Coach,” Dennis chimed in.
My eyes tracked Braiden all the way to the end of the field, where the medical room was located. He must have felt me watching because before Kyler dragged him inside, he looked back and found me.
And his eyes said it all.
It wasn’t over.
Not by a long shot.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ana
“Stay still, will you.” I gently rubbed the cream onto Jackson’s cheekbone, stifling a laugh when he winced.
“It’s worse than it looks, okay,” he snapped, still pissed at himself for letting Braiden get him so worked up.
“You’re going to be sore in the morning.”
“I’m sore now,” he grumbled, and I shook my head at him, a slight smile on my face.
He remained sulking on my bed while I returned the Arnica cream to the bathroom cabinet.
“Not as sore as his broken nose,” I called through the door. Jackson grunted something inaudible.
When I returned, he patted the bed and I crawled beside him, tucking myself into his huge arm.
“You lost it, huh?”
Jackson inhaled deeply and I could sense his frustration. He was disappointed with himself for letting Braiden get a rise out of him.
“I knew the minute I saw him across the scrimmage. He was planning to make it about us. Everyone else might as well have left the field.”
Silence enveloped us, nothing but the sounds of our breathing filling the room. I guess part of us had started to be lulled into a false sense of security. Braiden hadn’t retaliated or sought revenge yet, and other than a hateful look on the odd occasion our paths crossed around campus, Briony was off the radar. But now? Now felt like just the start.
The door flew open and Elena’s musical voice filled the room. “Surprise.” She glanced at us and frowned when her eyes landed on Jackson’s face. “What the hell happened?”
“Nice to see you too, Elena,” Jackson mumbled, laying his head back against the headboard and closing his eyes tight.
“His face ran into Braiden’s fist.”
“Nuh-uh. What really happened?”
“Exactly what Ana just said,” he groaned like it was painful to remember. Or just painful.
“Shit. I have to tell Tyson, he’ll—”
“Elena,” I hissed. “Really?” My eyes widened trying to tell her to quit it. After a few seconds, the realization hit, and she pursed her lips looking a little embarrassed.
“Sorry. My bad. It’s just, this is…huge, this is freaking huge. And awful. Really awful. Sorry, Jackson.”
Jackson didn’t reply, just grunted out some noise.
“Just one question. He came off worse, right?”
My eyes shifted to Jackson, but he remained eyes closed and breathing heavily. “Hmm, he may have broken his nose.”
Elena gasped and then laughed. “Way to go, big guy. Not just a pretty face, after all.”
“Are we seriously having this conversation?” Jackson groaned again, and I linked my fingers through his, squeezing gently. Some of the tension eased from his face, and I smiled to myself.
Jackson’s breathing
changed, deepening and slowing. He was asleep. Slowly unpeeling my fingers from his, I inched off the bed and lifted a finger to my mouth. Elena nodded and crept to her dresser, collecting the things she had no doubt returned for.
“Want to come to the house with me? Let him sleep?” she mouthed at me.
I shook my head. I couldn’t just leave him. Besides, I was beat and all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed beside him and sleep. Even if it was still early.
“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow.” Elena opened the door quietly and snuck out without so much as a sound. Which was unusual for her, she generally arrived and left with noise.
After changing into my pajamas and brushing my teeth, I hit the light, plunging the room into darkness. The sliver of light illuminated Jackson as he slept peacefully on the bed, still sitting up against the headboard. I stood rooted to the spot just watching him. He looked so peaceful, nothing like the guy only ten minutes earlier who was carrying a great weight on his shoulders. He looked more boyish, innocent. Peaceful.
He murmured and shifted, slouching down the bed until his head landed on one of the pillows. I took it as my cue to join him and slipped under the covers nestling into his side. Somewhere in his subconscious, he must have sensed me because his hand nudged me until I settled into the curve of his arm. His chin came down on my head and I closed my eyes. Laying wrapped in his arms, it was hard for me to believe that everything wasn’t perfect.
Because at that moment, it felt like it was.
Someone was following me. I had no doubts now, after hearing the low whistle twice since the last time, when I saw the figure in the shadows. I didn’t see him again, but I felt him. Felt eyes watching me from a distance. My gut told me to tell Jackson, but between worrying about Marcus returning and getting through the championship game on Saturday without another showdown with Braiden, now was not the time. In fact, it was shitty timing all around. Which made me think it had to be related to everything else. My first thought had been Chad. He had motive and a grudge. Jackson not only beat him pretty bad, but also got him kicked off the team. But he had laid low since school started back in the fall, and we hardly ever saw him on campus. It made no sense for it to be him, and he wasn’t the figure I’d seen outside McGinley. Most likely, it was someone Braiden had keeping an eye on me, trying to shake me up.