by L A Cotton
My trembling hand found the handle, and I slipped out of the truck, stalking toward her. I knew the second she saw me. Her breath hitched, eyes widening, and I felt sucker punched all over again. A dumb jock brought to his knees by a chocolate-eyed beauty. Only we weren’t those people anymore.
And all I could hope for now was that we found our way back to one another.
“Hi,” I said when I reached her. Cassie hadn’t moved, but the sound of my voice affected her, and her eyes fluttered shut as she swayed on the spot.
“Hi.” Her gaze slid to mine, and it was my turn to take a sharp breath.
“I didn’t get to wish you a happy birthday earlier.” I reached for a stray curl, twining it around my finger, and an uncertain smile lifted the corner of her mouth.
“You chased me all the way home to say happy birthday?” She raised an eyebrow.
“No”—my eyes dropped her lips—“I came to do this.” Leaning down, I slid one of my hands along her collarbone and threaded my fingers through her hair.
“Dennis, I—”
My lips came down on hers, gentle and unhurried, swallowing her protests. I’d probably regret it in about ten seconds, but I had to feel her again. I had to give myself this. Even if it was one stolen kiss, I had to taste her.
Cassie’s mouth parted in a gasp, and I tested the waters, running my tongue along the seam of her lips. I paused. Waiting. Giving her head time to catch up with her body. Nothing but the sound of our hearts and four years of distance hanging between us. But my girl shocked me. Instead of recoiling, her fist curled into my sweater, pulling me closer—pushing out all our history, all the bad shit between us—until we were nothing but lips touching and hands roaming.
I deepened the kiss, stroking her tongue with my own. Exploring her mouth. A mouth I’d once known better than my own. “God, I’ve missed this,” I murmured as she held me like I was her air.
And fuck, did I want to be.
I wanted to be her everything.
Cassie ended the kiss. Pulling away, she stared at me, and I noticed the tears forming in her eyes.
I’d fucked up.
Pushed her too much, too soon.
But her body told a different story—the soft blush on her cheeks and her wide, dilated eyes. Maybe Cassie didn’t want to remember, but her body did.
“Cassie?”
“Just a second, just give me a second.” She turned away from me, wiping the moisture away, but I palmed her cheek.
“Talk to me, please.”
“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamed of this?”
She had? That was good; I could work with this.
“But I’m not the same girl you left, Dennis. I’m not—”
“Shh.” I leaned down, touching my head to hers. “It’s late. You’ve been drinking, and this is not a conversation I want you to forget. Meet me tomorrow?”
“I-I can’t.”
“Cassie, please.” Don’t make me beg.
“I can’t tomorrow; my aunt has an appointment. But Sunday? After Lilly is asleep? You could come here … if you want to?”
“I’d love to.”
My thumb moved back and forth over the skin along her neck, and she turned into my touch, closing her eyes. When she met my gaze again, the moment was gone, her walls back in place. “You should go before someone sees you.”
Shit. We were still standing outside her house. But she was a distraction of the best kind.
“I’ll wait until you walk in.” I nodded to the door, stepping back to give her some space.
“Good night, Dennis.”
Sunday.
It felt like an eternity away. I wanted to know what she was thinking right now. Needed to know if she felt the stars align when our lips met. If it felt like finding a missing piece of herself. Because I’d felt it. The second my mouth slanted over hers, everything fell into place. And I knew this was it. My shot at fixing the past.
But as I crossed the street and watched her disappear inside, one thought stood out.
What if, after all this time, she didn’t feel the same?
Bellezas was deserted when I arrived, but Cael let me in through the back door just as Hernandez said he would.
“Boss man wants to see you. Give me your keys and I’ll get the guys to load your truck,” he said, tipping his head to the neat rows of black kit bags. I dropped the keys into his hand and made my way to the office.
“You wanted to see me?”
Hernandez was busy looking over a stack of papers on his desk. He leaned back in his chair and flashed me an easy smile. “I like you, Hayes. I think this partnership could be very fruitful for both of us. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I might bring you into some other projects I’m working on.”
I moved farther into the room, leaning against the wall. “Yeah?”
His smile morphed into a knowing smirk. “Always so suspicious.” Hernandez rose from his chair and came around, perching on his desk. “Guys like you are worth having around. Solid. Reliable. Trustworthy. I know Miller runs things now, but your old man isn’t getting any younger. One day, you’ll be the one in charge, and I’d like to think we could keep doing business.”
Managing a noncommittal grunt, I ran a brisk hand over my head. This was … unexpected. Hernandez had no idea my old man and Josiah Hale were planning to steal his empire right out from under him. And I didn’t plan to be around when that day came. But Cassie being here changed things.
“You have enough work up in Stonecreek to keep you busy?”
“Are you offering me a job?” I straightened to my full height, feeling the hairs on my neck electrify.
“A couple of my guys will be out of town for a month, maybe longer. I could do with an extra pair of hands if you’re interested. I’d make it worth your time, of course.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Here’s my card. Let me know when you’ve decided.”
It was risky. My old man wouldn’t want me to forge an alliance with Hernandez. But if I could pitch it to him right, make it seem like an opportunity to gather more intel on his operations, it would give me a valid reason for being in Redmont.
And if I had a reason to be here, I had a cover story to be around for Cassie.
Snagging the card out of his fingers, I said, “I’ll talk to my old man later. Thanks for thinking of me.”
He nodded. “Cael should be done. I hope to hear from you soon.”
Hernandez followed me out as we made our way back to the bar’s storeroom. Sure enough, Cael was waiting with my keys dangling from his fingers. “Six bags locked and loaded.”
“Thanks.”
“Got time for a drink?”
“Not today. But next time.”
Cael clapped me on the back, and as I headed to my truck, Hernandez’s offer played over and over in my mind. The last thing I wanted was to be his bitch, but if meant being around for Cassie, if it meant making sure he didn’t lay a finger on her, it was a price I was willing to pay.
Chapter Sixteen
Cassie
“She’s down.” I went to my aunt, perching on the bed. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired. But I’ll be fine. Now do you want to tell me why you’ve been watching the clock for the past two hours?”
“I …” Heat crept into my cheeks as I lowered my eyes. “My friend is stopping by.”
“Is he indeed?”
“I, hmm, I thought it would be okay? Lilly is out cold. He won’t stay long, I promise.”
It was like being seventeen all over again and sneaking Riley Myers into my bedroom after my parents had gone to sleep.
“Cassie, you don’t need my permission, but you could have told me.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I just … well, he was important to me once. It’s confusing. Him being here. And I’m scared, Aunt Ruby.” I bit back the tears welling behind my eyes. “I’m so scared to let him in.”
But I’d underestimated ju
st how persistent Dennis was. And truth be told, the second he’d kissed me, something happened. The broken shards of my heart shifted. Slowly began to mend.
“Oh, sweetheart, you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t scared. What you’ve been through … no woman should ever have to experience that. But you survived, Cassie. You broke free, and you have so much to be thankful for. So much to look forward to. And it sounds like this man would tread over hot coals for you.”
“It’s complicated,” I whispered, my eyes sliding to the clock on her nightstand. Dennis would be here any minute now.
“Love always is, Cassie. It’s a fact of life. I’m right here. You tell …” She nudged me, and I said, “Dennis. His name is Dennis.”
“Well, you tell Dennis that I’m right upstairs, and I throw a mean right hook.”
That earned her a smile. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Now go wipe your eyes and take a deep breath.”
I nodded and got up, moving to the door. But her voice stopped me. “And Cassie, you have the power. This is your life. Your body. Your heart. It is yours to give away. Yours to trust to another.”
Overwhelmed by her words, I swallowed over the lump in my throat and gave her another nod. And then I took her advice and went to clean up.
When the doorbell finally rang, my stomach was a tight ball of nerves, and I felt ready to puke. If I opened that door and let him in, I knew I was opening myself up to a whole world of hurt. But one way or another, I needed closure. I owed it to myself. I needed to sit down and tell Dennis everything. It was the only way we could move forward.
I just didn’t know if I’d be able to say the words.
My hand gripped the door handle, and with a deep breath, I opened it.
“Hi.” His voice washed over me, and my eyelids fluttered open. He was a sight for sore eyes, standing there in thigh-hugging jeans and a dark sweater that pulled taut over his broad shoulders and muscular arms. But it was all secondary to his eyes. They radiated so much emotion I couldn’t formulate words.
“Cassie?” he said, and I choked out, “Come in.”
My back hit the wall as I moved aside to let him pass. Suddenly, the room felt smaller, and I inhaled a deep, calming breath. Finding strength in my aunt’s words from only minutes earlier, I moved around him and said, “Would you like something to drink?”
“That would be great.”
“Were you in town?”
“No, I drove down.”
Okay. That I hadn’t expected. “How long did it take you?” I already knew the answer, but small talk was safe. It was delaying the conversation to come.
“Two hours, but I’m used to it now.”
“We have Coke, coffee, or tea?”
“Soda’s fine, thanks.”
I got him a can of Coke and slid it across the counter. Dennis made himself at home on one of the stools. “How is your aunt?” he asked.
“She’s getting stronger, but it’ll take a while.”
“Is she …?”
“Upstairs? Yes. And she told me to tell you she throws a mean right hook.”
A rumble of laughter shook Dennis’s chest, easing some of the tension between us. “I’ll keep that in mind. Did you have a nice birthday?”
I shrugged. “It’s just another year.”
“I got you something.”
“Dennis, I … you didn’t need to do that.” But he had already stood and was digging around in his jeans pocket. When he slid the small box across the counter, my heart went wild. This was too much. Too soon.
Sensing my panic, he said, “Open it. It won’t bite, I promise.”
Smoothing my fingers over the box, I popped the lid. “It’s beautiful.” The brooch glistened in the light.
“It was my mom’s. You know, her name was Lilly, too.”
My gaze lifted to his. “I know.”
Confusion creased the lines around his eyes. “But—”
“You told me once. You don’t remember?”
“I … no, I don’t.”
It didn’t surprise me. When we were together, Dennis never talked about his family. And I hadn’t pushed. But one day, after sneaking into my dorm room after dark, he noticed the bunch of flowers on my desk. “Lilies,” he’d said. “My mom’s name was Lilly.” And then he’d changed the subject as if the words had never been spoken. As if the flowers hadn’t triggered some painful memory.
“And Lilly? Your Lilly?”
I nodded, unable to prevent the tears from falling.
“But … why?”
“I wish I had an answer for you. My life before Lilly was born was … complicated, Dennis. But when the nurse put her in my arms, everything clicked into place. When they asked me if I had a name, Lilly came out as if she was always supposed to be called that.”
He was quiet, but his eyes seemed to say a thousand things.
“What happened, Cassie?”
Swiping my eyes with my sleeve, I drew in a shaky breath. “I met Lyndon when I moved to Daly City. I was still heartbroken, detached. Honestly, I wasn’t in a good place. He was kind and had a way of making me smile. But I didn’t want to rush into anything. I wasn’t ready. I wanted to focus on teaching, on learning to be alone again.”
Checking on the guy across from me, I noticed Dennis had gone rigid. But if I stopped now, I would never get the rest out, so I continued.
“After five months, I finally agreed to go out on a date with him. It was nothing fancy. Just dinner and a movie. It was nice. Safe. Mom and Dad were over the moon because they’d been worried about me. I rarely went home to visit, throwing myself into work. At first, everything was great. Lyndon was patient and understanding, a real stand-up guy.”
Dennis shifted uncomfortably. “What happened?” His voice had turned cold.
“After we finally …” My chest tightened, and I swallowed over the lump in my throat. “Things changed. He became distant, aloof. I was devastated. I didn’t see it then, I couldn’t, but the second I gave myself to him, the tables turned. He’d spent months chasing me, and all of a sudden, I was chasing him. Mom wanted me to end things with him, of course, but I couldn’t let it go. I didn’t want to go through that again. The loneliness, the self-doubt. He strung me along for weeks, showing up out the blue and then leaving again the next morning. He was a shell of the man I met. Quick tempered with a short fuse. There was an incident …”
I brushed over the details. Dennis already looked ready to kill, and I wanted to get this all out. I needed to get it out. “And I realized I needed to walk away. But when I tried to tell him, he lost it. Threatened to hurt himself if I left him. I was so confused, but for a few weeks, it was like having the old Lyndon back. The guy I’d met in the beginning. He was attentive and warm. Things moved quickly, and he moved in with me. My parents weren’t happy, but I didn’t listen. I was happy. And couples fought and argued all the time. But …”
Dennis’s heavy stare bore into me. As if he knew what was coming. As if he’d pieced together the puzzle I was gradually unveiling.
“Cassie …” he urged, his fists clenched on his thighs.
“Lyndon had a mean temper and a manic personality. I tried to get him help, more than once. When it was good, it was really good. But when it was bad …” I almost choked on the words. I hadn’t even told my aunt everything because some things were better left unsaid. But I needed to do this. I needed to say the words to be able to move forward.
“Mom and Dad begged me to move home. They didn’t know everything, but they knew enough. It caused tension, and I couldn’t stand feeling pulled in two, so I stopped calling. I didn’t expect them to show up on my doorstep.”
I could still picture Mom’s face as her eyes swept over the bruising around my eye. She’d cried, yelling at my father to call the police. I begged them not to. “He’s sick,” I’d told them, insisting I could handle his mood swings. Things turned ugly at that point. Mom re
fused to stand by and watch me ruin my life, and I was too stubborn to admit I needed them. When they left, I told them that if they couldn’t accept that I loved Lyndon, then not to bother coming back.
“Lilly, she’s his daughter?” The pain in Dennis’s voice was palpable, knocking me backward like a forcefield.
Nodding, I got myself a glass of water. Anything to distract myself, even for a second. “She wasn’t planned, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“I didn’t—”
“It’s okay, Dennis. I know this isn’t easy to hear, but I don’t need your sympathy. I made a lot of mistakes, but I won’t apologize for them because they brought me Lilly, and I wouldn’t change that. For anything.”
I didn’t realize I was crying until Dennis was in front of me, wiping my tears with the pad of his thumb. He cradled me in his arms, drawing me to his chest. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” he whispered over and over.
And this time, I didn’t try to be strong. I didn’t force down the ugly sobs and pain and heartache. I let it out.
In the comfort of his strong arms, I let myself break.
Chapter Seventeen
Dennis
I wanted to hurt something. Preferably that fucker’s face. But as Cassie fell apart in my embrace, I tried to focus on her and not the disturbing thoughts running through my head.
He’d hurt her.
Built her up and then teared her down until he’d gotten her right where he wanted her.
If I had my way, Lyndon whoever-the-fuck-he-was would be a dead man walking.
Minutes passed, maybe even hours, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the girl in my arms. She was so brave. So fucking strong. I knew she was running from something, but I didn’t anticipate this.
Never in a million years.
And I never hated myself more than at that moment as I realized that if it wasn’t for the fact I cut her loose, she would never have ended up in that sicko’s clutches.
“I’m so sorry,” I mumbled again.