by L A Cotton
I stared at the bundle in his arms. “It’s the only way I know how. I have to think about her. I have to—”
“Hey, beautiful.” He eased Lilly from the crook of his neck and held her in front of his face. “You should go back to your momma. But I’ll see you again soon, hopefully.” He tacked on the end before dropping a kiss to her fuzzy curls, and I was glad she was too young to understand his words. Promises he couldn’t keep.
Promises I wouldn’t let him keep.
Lilly came to me this time as if she’d heard him and wanted to please him. So little time together and they’d already formed a bond. It was right there in the way he looked at her, and the way she stared back. Like mother, like daughter.
My heart broke a little more for all the things she missed out on because of who her father was—and how she came into this world.
Dennis stood, running a hand over his head. “I’ll see myself out.” He held my apologetic gaze. “I meant what I said, Cassie. If you ever need anything, I’m a phone call away. You don’t have to do this alone.”
Pressing my lips together, I nodded, watching him walk away. He hesitated at the door and glanced back, waiting. When I didn’t say anything, he slipped into the night.
Taking the last piece of my shredded heart with him.
“Come to Auntie Manda.” Amanda scooped Lilly out of my arms and swung her around. When she’d texted to invite us to the park with her and Taylor, I’d jumped at the chance to get out of the house. Mrs. Garth was more than happy to keep Aunt Ruby company, and I was grateful for some fresh air.
Four days had passed since Dennis came over. Since I shut him down … again. He sent me a text. Once, every day. And every day, I sent some brief formal reply.
We’re fine.
Thanks.
I’m okay.
Soon, I’d run out of replies. But maybe that was his plan all along—to wear me down until I gave him what he wanted. Which was what exactly? I still didn’t know, not really. I thought I’d glimpsed his feelings for me that night. But now that he’d had time to digest what I’d told him, how could he still want me and the baggage I came with?
“Cass? Earth to Cass?”
“Huh?” I blinked over at my friend as she bounced Lilly on her lap while Taylor went off to play with some kids her own age.
“Is everything … wait.” She leaned closer. “You got laid.”
“What?” I gasped feeling heat bloom in my cheeks.
“Well.” She arched her brow. “Did you?”
“No. No!”
“But something did happen, didn’t it? You have this look.”
“You’re completely mad,” I said, trying to throw her off the scent.
“You saw him again.”
“Who?” I kept my eyes focused on Taylor, her hair blowing in the breeze as she ran circles around a little boy.
“The guy from your birthday. D … Dennis, was it?”
My heart stopped beating. I’d been expecting this. Ever since she stumbled across us in the darkened hallway in Bellezas, I’d been waiting for her third degree.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She made a clucking noise and said, “You’re as bad a liar as you are an actress. I could smell the history between the two of you the second I stepped into that hallway. You don’t want to tell me who he is, that’s cool. But you’re playing a dangerous game if you think Luis won’t—”
“He’s my ex,” I whispered. “And it’s complicated.”
“Isn’t it always?” She shuffled closer, and Lilly reached for my finger, clasping it tightly.
“We dated in college. It ended badly. Very badly.” He ruined me, I wanted to add, but didn’t.
“And he knows Luis how?”
When I met her wide curious gaze, her lips fell open on an, “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh,” I repeated. “I had no idea he was involved with Luis. None, at all. I haven’t seen or heard from him in four years.”
“Jesus.” She whistled through her teeth. “This could get messy, very messy.”
“It doesn’t have to,” I said with more conviction than I felt. “Dennis is my past. Besides, I’m not getting involved with him again. Or Luis. Everything will be fine.”
Amanda regarded me, clearly not convinced by my little speech. “Do you know what I saw when I found you in the hallway?”
From the look in her eyes, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
“I saw a lot of unfinished business, not to mention sexual tension that was off the charts.”
“Manda.” I sighed, remembering how good it had felt when Dennis kissed me … touched me … made me come undone.
“Where’d you just go?” She leaned in closer, staring me dead in the eyes. “Dammit, something did happen, didn’t it? You’re all flushed.”
“Manda,” I hissed, flicking my head to Taylor as she approached.
“What’s up, pumpkin?”
“Can I go play on the slide with Denver?”
“And who is Denver?”
“He’s my friend.” She pointed at a kid with spikey brown hair and thick-rimmed glasses.
“What do you think, Cassie? Do we think Denver looks like a good friend?”
Taylor pouted as I pretended to give the kid the once-over. “Looks okay to me.” I smiled and so did Amanda, but it was nothing compared to the grin that split Taylor’s face as she skipped off to her new friend.
“They grow up way too quickly. She’ll be asking me about sex next.” Amanda shuddered. “Speaking of which, you were about to tell me what happened between you and history hottie?”
“History hottie?”
She shook her head on an exasperated breath. “Details, I want them.”
“We didn’t sleep together.” My voice was hushed as if talking about it made it real. “But things got … carried away.”
“And how was it?”
“Good. It was good,” I said with little emotion. As if I could possibly tell her that when Dennis touched me, he reached some lost part inside me, a part I thought I’d never get back.
“You’re the worst.” She laughed, but I could tell she was disappointed I wasn’t feeling sharesy. Then she added, “But it was a one-time deal, right?”
“Yeah. I can’t open that door. Not again.”
Because she was right; it only led to a path of messy painful destruction. And I’d had enough of that to last me a lifetime.
“It’s probably for the best anyway.”
My head whipped up to hers. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I’m pretty sure Luis offered your ex a job.”
Chapter Nineteen
Dennis
“It’s a good opportunity.”
“The fuck it is,” my old man rasped, slamming a hand to his chest as the words were drowned out by a barking cough.
“You need a drink?” I said, eyeing the refrigerator, but he shook his head.
“I’m good. Now explain it to me again. Exactly what do we get out of you down in that shitty town working for Hernandez?”
“Intel.”
“Like a double agent?” Brett chimed in, and I shot him a glare that said, “stay the fuck out of this.” His hands went up. “Just trying to help.”
“I need you here. Handling things here.” My old man coughed again, and I saw the pain in his eyes. He’d had a smoker’s cough for as long as I could remember, but it was getting worse.
“You need to see the doctor?”
“Like hell I do,” he said.
“Look, maybe Hernandez is thinking the same thing. Maybe he wants me down there so he can feel us out, or if shit hits the fan, he can use me as leverage. But it’s too good an opportunity to pass up. Brett and the guys can handle things here. I won’t be gone all week, and I can still deal with Hale.”
After my last meeting with him, something told me he only wanted to deal with me going forward, which was fine by me. Keep your friends close and your e
nemies closer.
“I want you here at least three days a week. And I want daily check-ins. I want to know everything, and I mean everything, son. When that fucker eats, breathes, shits. You’re right.” He dragged a hand over his jaw. “This is a golden fucking opportunity. I don’t like the idea of you being in the lion’s den, but if Hale makes good on his word, it shouldn’t be for too long.”
Well, that was easier than I thought.
I felt Brett’s eyes burning holes in the side of my face, and as I turned slowly, my eyes snapped to his, finding suspicion shining there. He didn’t buy this for a second, but it didn’t matter. As long as he never learned about my true motivations, he could think whatever the fuck he wanted. I just needed to buy enough time to figure out how to help Cassie. Even if it meant dancing with the devil. I’d sell my soul to the highest bidder as long as she and Lilly were okay.
“Good to see you again.” Hernandez held out his hand, and when I slipped my palm into his, he pulled me in close. “I’m glad you accepted my offer.”
“Thanks. I’m glad to be here.” I put some space between us and surveyed his office. It was flashy with deep red décor and mahogany furniture. A low-life drug dealer trying to play at being something he wasn’t, but I guess we had that in common.
“So where do you want me?”
“You good with those?” He motioned to my hands, and I tilted my head. Surely, he didn’t want me here as the caretaker?
“I do okay,” I said, waiting for the punchline.
“Hector handles shit out front, but I’m one short on security inside the bar. Think you can handle it?”
He wanted me to handle security? It was a damn sight better than fixing busted windows and blocked toilets.
“Yeah, I can handle it.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. Cael will show you the ropes. I need you Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. I’ve got a place you can stay.”
“Sounds good to me, but I don’t need the room. I have a place. No offense.”
“None taken. And Miller?”
“Doesn’t own me,” I ground out, not liking the insinuation that my old man got a say in the matter.
“I didn’t mean to offend. I merely meant how’d he take the news?”
“He’ll live with it. My cousin can handle Stonecreek, and I was looking for a change of scenery anyway.”
“Well, then.” Hernandez moved to a long sideboard and filled two glasses with whiskey. “To new scenery.” He handed me the glass, and we toasted.
He was a hard guy to get a read on. His motivations seemed genuine; he was short a guys for a couple of months, and we were already partners in a loose sense of the word. But part of me couldn’t help but wonder if he’d sensed something else. Maybe my reaction to seeing Cassie around the bar. He couldn’t know who she was to me, but I was only human, and she was my kryptonite. So no matter how hard I’d tried to school my expression around her, his gut instinct probably saw me as a threat.
I should have told her. That night I went to her aunt’s and she bared her soul to me, I should have told her I was going to take Hernandez up on his offer. It was the right thing to do, but then she’d looked at me with those haunting brown eyes of hers, and as her walls slowly snapped back into place, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t create a bigger divide between us. Because even though she’d wanted me—she hadn’t wanted me to make up for lost time or because she remembered all the good things about us. No, she’d wanted me because I could give her something no one else could.
A safe space to forget.
That was what I was to her. A break. A respite from the pain she lived with every second of every day. I’d known it when she’d let me walk out there without so much as a word. No thank you. No I’ll call you. No I still love you.
But I couldn’t let go. Even if she could, I couldn’t. Which was why I sent her one text message every day, asking how she was or making some small talk about Lilly or her aunt or the weather. The fucking weather. I’d been reduced to talking about the weather, but I didn’t care if it meant she replied. As long as she kept replying, I’d talk about shopping and the Kardashians.
A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts, and Hernandez barked, “Come in.”
Cassie’s friend—Amanda—waltzed into the room, paying me no attention. “Hey, boss man.” She thrust a stack of papers at him. “I need you to sign these. Oh, hello.” Her gaze finally landed on me. “Devon, was it?” Her lips quirked up in a way that told me she knew exactly what my name was … and who I was.
Shit.
Maybe Cassie hadn’t pulled up her walls as much as she would have me believe.
“Amanda, you’ve met Dennis. Can you show him the ropes until Cael gets here?”
“Sure thing. Follow me, big guy.”
“You’re not from around here, I gather.” Amanda led me from her boss’s office and down the long hallway.
When I didn’t answer, Amanda threw me an amused look over her shoulder, and I stared her down until her smooth chuckle filled the space, and she murmured something that sounded like, “She’s sure got her hands full with you.”
She pushed open another door and let me enter first. It was another small room. A desk pushed up in one corner, papers strewn everywhere. A leather couch was against the other wall. A small table housing a toaster and coffeemaker were next to it, mugs stacked beside that.
“Welcome to paradise,” she announced, brushing past me and over to the desk. “This is the staff room. There’s a locker over there you can use.” Amanda nodded to the corner of the room. “There’s always tea, coffee, and soda in the mini fridge. I pin the weekly schedule here, but I’m guessing Luis will keep you on a tight leash.”
I bristled at her words, and she laughed again. “Easy, big guy.” The door swung open, and a dark-haired guy I recognized from behind the bar barreled in. His eyes landed on me and then moved to Amanda.
“You need something, Mario?”
“I-hmm ... I wanted to check the schedule.” He kept glancing at us, and I got the distinct feeling he was trying to figure out what was going on. Since the guy knew shit about me, that meant he was worried about the other person in the room.
“Go for it.” Amanda moved aside to let him get a look at the whiteboard on the wall. His hands went deep into his pockets as he tried his best to avoid brushing against her. Oh yeah, the guy had it bad for Cassie’s friend.
“That all you need?” she added, hands planted firmly on her hips. He spun around and met her eyes, unable to hide the lust in his. His gaze slid to mine, and I tried to silently tell him I was no threat. It must have worked since his shoulders relaxed a little.
“Yeah, thanks. I’ll see you out front?”
She nodded, and he left, giving me a tight nod on his way out.
“Okay, where were we?”
“He likes you.” I didn’t know why I said that, but the words spewed out before I could stop them. But if it meant avoiding the lecture I was sure she was ready to throw my way, I’d use it to my advantage.
“Who, Mario? He’s not my type.” She shrugged, running her eyes over the stack of papers on the desk.
“Keep telling yourself that.” I’d seen the way her breath hitched when he walked into the room. The feeling was mutual—she just didn’t want to admit it.
Her head snapped up, and her eyes narrowed right at me. “Like you’re telling yourself if you work here, it’ll give you an opportunity to force your way in?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She stepped closer, taking the air with her. Damn, she had balls. But that was a good thing. It meant she’d look out for Cassie when I couldn’t. Which, if she kept me at arm’s length, would be most of the damn time.
“Do you still love her?”
I stared at her, unwilling to go there. She was a stranger. And I wasn’t looking to get a Dr. Phil style intervention.
“I hope to god you know what you’re
doing.” She lowered her voice. “If Luis finds out—”
“He won’t.”
“Won’t he? You’re throwing off all kinds of alpha-she’s-mine vibes. How’s that going to play out when she comes back to work?”
My lips pressed together, and her lips lifted in a smirk. “Jesus, you’re blinded by her, aren’t you? Just promise me one thing, you won’t hurt her. Not again. I don’t know her whole story, but I know enough to know that girl has scars. The deep kind. She doesn’t—”
“Amanda?” a voice filtered through the door, and Cassie’s friend put some space between us, schooling her expression for whoever was about to enter the room.
“In here, Dominique.”
The fake blonde from the bar sauntered in, her eyes going wide when she saw me standing there. “Oh, I didn’t realize you were busy, my bad.”
“Dominique, you’ve met Dennis Hayes. He’s going to be helping out with security for a while.”
“Is he indeed?” She gave me the once-over and licked her blood red lips. “Well, Dennis, if you need anything, let me know.” Her words dripped with suggestion.
“Back off, Dom. We don’t want to scare him off before he gets started.”
I gave Amanda an appreciative nod over the blonde’s shoulder. She was trouble with a capital T, and she’d seen me that first night when I laid eyes on Cassie for the first time. I needed to tread carefully around her.
“I guess I’ll be seeing you around.” She sauntered out of the room, swishing her hips as if she owned the place.
“She’s trouble,” Amanda said the second she was gone. “If I were you, I’d make sure I didn’t end up on her shitlist.”
“Your point?” I dragged a hand over my face.
Her eyes flashed irritation and she let out a heavy sigh. “I just hope you know what you’re doing. Because from where I’m standing, it’s sure as hell doesn’t look like it.”
I wanted to argue with her, but she was right. Seeing Cassie again had changed everything. But what was I doing? Getting into bed with Hernandez? Pushing myself into places I had no right being.