by L A Cotton
Once Lilly was changed, we headed downstairs to Dennis and the smell of fresh coffee. The sight of him in the kitchen, jeans slung low on his hips and shirtless, made me pause, my breath catching in my throat. It was something I’d never expected to see again. But I was slowly learning life had a funny way of giving you exactly what you needed even when you didn’t know you needed it.
Because for as long as it’d taken me to admit it, I did need Dennis. I needed him in a way that terrified me. Bone-shaking, heart trembling fear. But it also made me hopeful. Of things to come. Of a future that had once seemed so far out of reach.
Lilly noticed our guest and clapped her hands with delight. Dennis placed two mugs of coffee on the counter and came to us, holding out his hands. “Well, good morning, beautiful.” He pressed a kiss to her head, and my chest swelled. He was so accepting of all this. Of the baggage I came with. It was a lot to process.
“Are you okay?” he asked, noticing my silence, and I nodded, forcing a tight smile.
“I will be once I get that inside me.” I made a beeline for the mug, using it as my shield to buy myself five minutes while I got my emotions in check.
At moments like this—with just the three of us in a little bubble—it was easy to forget all the obstacles facing us. It was so easy to pretend.
Too easy.
But I had enough to deal with today without getting caught up in our unfinished story. And it occurred to me that maybe we’d never be finished. Maybe we would always be a “to be continued.” When you loved someone as much as I’d loved Dennis, maybe the book never truly stayed closed.
“What do you need today?” His question pulled me from my thoughts, reality crashing back down around me.
I gripped the mug tight as I ran through a list in my head. “I have a meeting with the doctor at ten, and then I want to see my aunt. And I think my parents want to come. I’m not sure I want them to stay here, though.” After so much time apart, the idea of having them so close was overwhelming.
“There’s a decent motel on Brooker. I can call them and reserve a room?”
“You’d do that?”
“Of course, I would.” He closed the distance between us, Lilly bouncing happily in his arms. “I told you, whatever you need.”
“Can you … would you maybe come to the hospital with us? Lilly is calmer when you’re around, and that way I can meet with the doctor in peace and quiet.”
“Cass.” He buried his hand in my hair and pulled me closer. “I was coming whether you asked or not.”
Dennis pressed a kiss to my head, Lilly trapped between us, and for the first time in months, I could breathe. I could actually breathe. Even though I knew I had more pain and heartache ahead, I felt calmer with him here.
“Do you mind if I use the shower?” He handed Lilly back to me.
“There are fresh towels on the rack. Take your time.”
“Thanks.” He finished his coffee and disappeared, leaving the two of us to fend for ourselves. I got Lilly situated in her high chair and started making breakfast. I’d just finishing mixing her baby cereal when the doorbell rang.
Feeling less than sociable, I checked Lilly’s straps and hurried to the door. “Hello,” I said, expecting to see Mrs. Garth standing there. “Luis? What are you—”
He bowed his head in that charming way of his. “Amanda told me about your aunt. I wanted to check in on you.”
“You did?” I stuttered, completely caught off guard. “T-thanks.” His eyes dropped to my thin t-shirt, and I wrenched my arms up over my chest, nervous energy thrumming through me. “I … hmm … you caught me at a bad time, actually. I was just getting ready to go over to the hospital.”
He nodded. “Of course, I understand. But if there’s anything I can do, you have my number.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it, I do.”
Luis’s gaze lifted over my shoulder, and for a second, I thought Dennis had come back downstairs. I held my breath, hoping I was mistaken. Eventually, his eyes snapped back to mine, and I let out a small sigh of relief. “Look after yourself, Cassie. I’ll stop by soon.”
“Luis, you don’t need to—”
“I care about you, Cassie. You’re one of my most valuable assets.”
I was? That seemed like an odd phrase to use. The three shifts I worked would hardly be difficult to cover. Amanda, on the other hand, she single-handedly ran the bar. Losing her would cause chaos. But me? I was no one. Except Luis wasn’t looking at me like I was no one; he was looking at me like I was everything, and my blood ran cold.
“I really need to get back to Lilly. Thank you for stopping by.” I readied myself to close the door, hoping he would take the hint. He lingered for another second and then nodded, retreating down the path back to his car. But as he climbed inside, realization slammed into my chest. Dennis’s truck was in the driveway. Luis would recognize it from the bar.
He knew.
Luis knew.
When the car pulled away, I closed the door and made my way back inside. The contentment I’d felt waking up with Dennis was a distant memory as my old feelings resurfaced. I fed Lilly her breakfast numb, unable to shake the black cloud that had descended. Dennis came down, his hair wet from the shower. The second he saw my grim expression, he said, “What? What happened?”
“Luis was here. He came here.”
He went rigid, his eyes darkening. “He came here?”
“To see how I was doing. He said Amanda told him what happened.” Which made sense. He was our boss. And she was my friend.
“That’s seriously overstepping the mark,” he ground out, his jaw clenched.
“He’s my boss. It’s not—”
His expression turned cold. “Has he ever been here before?”
I shook my head, my lip trembling as I said, “Your truck is in the driveway. What if he—”
Dennis stalked forward. “That’s what you’re worried about?” His brows quirked up as he brushed a stray hair from my face.
“Aren’t you?”
“Cassie.” He brushed his lips against my forehead. “You don’t need to worry about me or Luis. I’ll take care of everything. I promise.”
He gave off a quiet confidence, but something in his voice, a flicker of fear, told me I was right to worry. And as the three of us sat together and finished breakfast, I realized it was bittersweet.
This moment, it was like a glimpse of what life with Dennis could be like. Stable. Together.
A family.
But when I looked over at him and saw the tightness around his eyes, I couldn’t help but feel like it was already slipping through my fingers.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Dennis
As I drove Cassie to the hospital, my cell phone burned a hole in my pocket. I’d half expected it to blow up with missed calls and text messages. Luis knew. He had to. Deep down, a part of me had been waiting for him to discover the truth, so I could get it all out in the open. But I hadn’t expected him to show up at her house, which made me wonder what other surprises he had up his sleeve. Either way, I needed a way out, fast.
If things were different, I would have asked her to run with me. To pack up her and Lilly’s stuff and leave right now. But things were different, and it was a choice I wouldn’t ask her to make. Not with her aunt dying in the hospital. Which only left me one option.
One she wasn’t going to like.
“I’ll drop you off and park, and then me and Lilly will meet you inside, okay?” I needed to make a call, and I didn’t want her to overhear.
“Is it about Luis?”
“Cass, I told you, don’t worry about Luis. But I do need to call my old man and check in. He doesn’t know—”
“He doesn’t know about me, does he?”
I found no disappointment in her eyes, and I didn’t want any more secrets between us than absolutely necessary, so I said, “No, he doesn’t.”
“Okay.” Her walls slammed up.
�
�I’ll handle everything.” I tried to reassure her, but she had more important things to focus on, and I thought I had more time. If Hernandez hadn’t shown up when he did, I could have gotten all my ducks in a row first.
Fuck.
My fist clenched around the wheel. I’d known we were heading for shit creek, but I hadn’t anticipated this. It couldn’t have been worse timing. But that was why I needed to make the call. I needed to make sure none of this came back on Cassie—she didn’t need the stress or worry. Not on top of everything else she was about to face. She needed to focus on her aunt. On her parents coming to town. On her daughter. It was a cruel twist of fate that everything had changed between us, though, when it came down to it, nothing had really changed at all.
This time, I’d wanted to do things differently—to rewrite our ending. But I needed more time. The clock had started counting down the second I laid eyes on her. But thanks to Hernandez and his hard-on for Cassie, things were moving quicker.
Too quickly.
The hospital loomed ahead, and I took the turn for the drop-off area. “I’ll be right in,” I reassured her. Cassie hesitated as if she wanted to say something, but with one last glance at her daughter, she climbed out of the truck and hurried inside.
“It’s just you and me, kid.” I checked Lilly in my rearview. She was all wide eyes and smiles for me. At least you forgive me.
I followed the road around to the parking lot and pulled into the first empty spot. Digging my cell phone out of my pocket, I located the number I needed and hit call.
“Hello?” The voice came over the line.
“Hale, it’s Dennis. We need to talk.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay longer?” I searched Cassie’s face for the truth. But she looked exhausted. Cut to the bone.
“She’s in and out of it, and my parents should arrive soon.”
I nodded, picking up the car seat. Lilly didn’t even flinch; nestled inside, she was sleeping soundly.
We’d spent the morning at the hospital. Cassie met with her aunt’s doctors while I kept Lilly entertained in the waiting room. When she’d appeared, red-eyed and somber, I wanted to take away her pain and reassure her everything would be fine, but this was something I couldn’t fix. Ruby was dying. It was only a matter of time. Turned out she knew things were bad the first time she passed out, but she hadn’t wanted to worry Cassie. And she thought she had more time. Time to help Cassie put the past behind her and watch Lilly grow.
No one could have predicted she had a ticking time bomb in her brain just waiting to detonate.
We walked to the truck in thick silence. Nothing I could say would make her feel any better, and Cassie didn’t seem in the mood to talk. I strapped the car seat in the back and waited for Cassie to climb inside. When we were all in, I fired up the engine and backed out of the spot, filing into the line of traffic.
After a few minutes, her pained voice cut through the tension. “I still can’t believe she’ll never be coming home.”
I looked over at Cassie and reached for her hand, entwining our fingers together. “They’ll take good care of her.”
She smiled weakly. “And now I have to face my parents. I didn’t want it to happen like this. God, everything is such a mess.” Silence enveloped us until Cassie whispered, “I want to be mad at her, but she really thought she had more time. I saw it in her eyes.”
“The doctor said these things could be unpredictable, didn’t he?”
“Yeah.” Cassie turned her face to watch the town roll by. “It doesn’t matter now. They can’t do anything except make her comfortable.”
We rode the rest of the way in silence, but with every mile that passed, the guilt coiled around my heart, tightening like a vise and making it hard to breathe. Cassie was already grieving. I saw it in her broken expression. She knew her aunt wouldn’t last much longer, and her mind was already trying to come to terms with that. Which only made what I was about to do so much harder.
When I parked in the driveway, she dragged herself from the truck, waiting for me to bring Lilly inside. “Thank you,” she said as I closed the door. “I don’t know what I would have done without you, Dennis. I …”
Her voice cracked, and I went to her, wrapping her in a hug. Cassie melted against me on a pained sob. I dropped my chin to her head, holding her close, trying to absorb her heartache. I would have taken it all if I could. Carried it for her. But the sad truth of the matter was she had to get through this herself. No matter how much I held her, or loved her, or reassured her, it didn’t change the fact her world was about to be splintered in two.
When the fresh wave of tears finally subsided, she pulled away, drying her eyes with her sleeve. “God, I’m a mess.”
“You’re allowed to fall apart, Cass.” I ran my thumb along her cheekbone, swiping away the rogue tears still falling.
“I need to be strong.” She let out a shaky breath. “For Lilly. For my aunt.”
“You’re one of the strongest people I know,” I whispered, overcome by the guilt swarming my chest. She was strong because she’d had to be. Because when I’d walked away from her, breaking her heart in the process, I pushed her into the arms of that scumbag.
I did that.
Me.
“Dennis, what is it?” She stared up at me, her chocolate eyes searching my soul for answers I couldn’t give her. I couldn’t tell her the truth. Not now. Not in her hour of need. She wouldn’t understand. She’d beg me to reconsider, to find a different way. And I’d say yes. Because I could no longer deny her.
Because I realized now that Cassie wasn’t my affliction. I was hers. She lived in my veins. She was the reason my heart kept beating. Even when we’d been apart, even when I’d cut her loose, not a day went by when I didn’t think about her. When I didn’t let myself imagine the life I could have had.
It was only ever her.
But she deserved better.
She deserved my all.
And I couldn’t be that. Not while I was smack bang in the middle of this thing with Hernandez, my father, and Josiah Hale.
“I’m sorry, Cass.” The words stuck in my throat. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
She wouldn’t understand my apology yet, and when she did, it wouldn’t be enough. But right now, it was all I had.
“What do you need?” I asked, my eyes tracing the planes of her face, memorizing every freckle, every blemish. If this was the last time I ever saw her, I wanted to remember every last detail.
“Will you stay? Until my parents get here? I know it might be … awkward, after everything, but I’d really appreciate it. I’m not sure I can do it alone.” Her fingers twisted into my sweater, desperation seeping from her.
“Whatever you need,” I said.
Seeing her parents again was the least I could do. And, in a way, my selfish heart needed to see them—to know they were going to be here for her. Because if I kept telling myself that she had other people—her parents, Amanda, the dude at the bar … Lilly—my conscience was eased. Just a fraction.
Just enough that, when the time came, I’d do the right thing and walk out and never look back.
Even if it would ruin me in the process.
I’d do it. For her.
I’d do whatever needed to be done.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Cassie
“Cassie, oh my …” Mom flung her arms around me, bursting into tears. Dad offered me a sympathetic smile over her shoulder. “God, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much.”
I patted her back, unsure of what to say. When she’d finally composed herself, she held me at arm’s length, taking me in. “It’s so good to see you,” she choked out, stifling more tears.
“Did you have a good trip?” I said. Asking about their journey felt safe. It felt manageable.
“It was fine, wasn’t it, Phillip?”
“We made good time.” He nodded and stepped into the house, shifting awkwardly on the balls of h
is feet. “It’s really good to see you, sweetheart.”
“Hi, Dad.” I met him halfway with a hug. Unlike Mom, he didn’t linger.
“Is she here?” Mom’s face craned around me as she smiled wide.
“She’s here.”
She inhaled deeply and started smoothing out her hair. “Do I … I mean, gosh, I’ve waited a long time for this. I hope she—”
“Celia, you’re doing it again.” Dad laid a hand on her shoulder, and she sighed.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m just … she’s really in there?”
I thought it would be weird to have my parents here. And in a lot of ways, it was. But Mom’s excitement and apprehension at meeting Lilly was endearing. The perfect icebreaker. And I realized I could do this. For her.
They followed me into the living room, and Mom paused, her eyes going wide.
“Hi, Mrs. Malson.” Dennis stood with Lilly wrapped around his neck like a spider monkey. “It’s nice to see you again.”
He brought Lilly to me. “Hi, baby. There are some people here who would like to meet you.” I turned to my parents, floored by their expressions. But they weren’t focused on the guy from my past; they were focused on the bundle in my arms.
“This is your grandma and grandad,” I said, moving closer to them. “And this is Lilly.”
Mom teared up again, and Dad wrapped her in a hug as they stared at the tiny person in front of them.
“She’s so big,” Mom cried, dabbing her eyes.
“Would you like to hold her?”
“I …” She struggled to get the words out and nodded instead, extending her hands. Lilly went willingly, smiling and cooing at her. “Gosh.” It came out garbled. “She looks just like you.”
“She’s beautiful.” Dad held my gaze and then looked away, discreetly wiping his eyes.
“I’m sure you have a lot to catch up on, so I’ll leave you all in peace.” Dennis’s hand touched my shoulder, just as Dad’s had with Mom. “I’ll talk to you later. Mr. and Mrs. Malson.”