by L A Cotton
I dragged a hand down my face. “You’ve got it wrong, old man. So wrong. You were the poison that killed Mom. Not her depression. You. It was all you.”
He was across the room in a second, his forearm rammed across my throat, pinning me against the wall. I towered over him, but it didn’t matter. Miller Hayes ran on anger. It was his fuel. His lifeline. And when the fuse lit, no one or nothing would calm him down.
“I worshiped the ground that woman walked on.” He slammed his hand against the wall so hard it reverberated in my skull. But I didn’t feel an ounce of fear. In some ways, this moment was long overdue. I realized that now. I’d just been delaying the inevitable while trying to make good on my promise to Mom.
Whether it was Cassie or someone else in the future, we would have ended up right here one day. Blood but no longer family. Because family didn’t do this to each other.
“Mom died. She uncapped that bottle of pills and swallowed them down to escape. She wanted to fucking escape you. She tried for years to get you to see her. To see what this life was doing to her. But you were too blinded by the power. The money.” I sucked in a ragged breath and closed my eyes. When I opened the again, and they settled on my old man’s face, I said, “She loved you, and in the end, it killed her.”
His body shook with fury. No one talked to Miller Hayes this way, no one. But I wasn’t no one. I was his son. Heir to the Hayes fortune of dodgy business deals and dirty money.
But I. Was. Done.
Whether Cassie still wanted me after all this was still to be seen, but I was done.
“I should put a bullet between your eyes. Hale wants you gone. You’ve jeopardized everything and for what? Some little bitch who will leave you high and dry once she’s gotten what she wants.”
“Don’t.” I ground out barely in control. But I wasn’t him.
I wasn’t my father.
And this was a means to an end.
“What the hell am I supposed to do here, son? Hale wants you out of the picture. Do you get that? Do you understand the predicament you’ve put me in?” He was calmer now. Torn between his urge to make something of himself and to be the father he hadn’t been in a really long time.
But even if he was sorry, even if he had regrets the size of California, there was no going back for us now. It was too late.
Forcing myself farther against his arm, I stared him right in the eye. “Do it.”
His eyes flashed with surprise, and then he staggered back, his body sagging as the adrenaline dissipated. “W-what?”
“Do it. Kill me the way you killed her. We both know there’s no other way. Hale won’t let me walk. If you don’t do it, he’ll come. He’ll come for me.”
He stared at me as if he no longer recognized me. “Y-you don’t mean that?” It came out all garbled, and I rubbed the tender skin around my throat. “Don’t I?”
“You could have had it all. One day, you could have had it all, and you threw it away. You threw it all away for what? Some piece of ass? Are you that fucking stupid?”
“Are you that blind? I don’t want this,” I roared. “I never have. I only stuck by you all these years because she made me promise. Mom made me promise I wouldn’t leave you. She knew it would kill you. She knew you wouldn’t survive without me. But guess what, Dad? Congratu-fucking-lations, you not only ruined her life, but you ruined mine too.”
My words hit him like a forcefield, and he stumbled back, grabbing onto a chair for support. He managed to pull himself around and dropped down on it. Head hung low, it was a snapshot of the Miller Hayes I only saw on the anniversary of Mom’s death. Vulnerable. Weak. A man grieving the love of his life.
Except it wasn’t enough.
He’d had it all—a loving wife, a doting son—and we hadn’t been enough.
“I knew you didn’t want to go to Chastity Falls, but I thought you were just pushing the boundaries, trying to make me sweat. It’s how it’s always been, kid. I push, and you pull. But I thought you were just keeping me in check. I didn’t know—”
“It doesn’t matter.”
The day Mom died in my arms, the relationship between me and my old man had been set on a collision course neither of us could have prevented. It wasn’t fair; it just was.
“Dennis, I …” My old man lifted his head, and for a second, I saw a glimpse of the man he was before everything turned to shit. But the words died on his tongue. Or maybe they were never there to begin with.
“This is your life, but it’s not mine. I’m done. Either make good on your word and put a bullet in my brain or let me go and I’ll never come back.” I grabbed my keys and my bag and waited. But I already knew the outcome of this story. Just as I’d predicted Miller Hayes, for as broken and soulless as he was, would never pull the trigger on his son. On his blood.
Silence enveloped us as the ties that bound us for so long finally split clean in two.
“Go,” he rasped, almost choking on the word. I nodded and moved to the door. But his words made me pause at the last second. “I never wanted it to be this way.”
Only one thought remained as I slipped into the hallway and left the building.
Neither did I.
Climbing inside my truck, I fired up the engine, but I didn’t back out. From the lot, I could just make out my old man’s profile. He was still in the chair where I’d left him. I’d finally broken him.
I’d broken Miller Hayes.
And maybe this time, there would be no coming back for him. But Hale had promised me he would look out for the old man. Brett and his family too. And in exchange, I was free.
As long as I left Stonecreek for good, I was free.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I said, tipping my head back, allowing myself one minute. “I tried. I really tried.”
I’d given fourteen years of my life trying to save Miller Hayes’s soul. But sometimes, it wasn’t enough. And I’d be damned if I lost mine too.
“Dennis, thank god.” Ana pulled me into a hug, shouting, “Jackson, it’s Dennis. He’s here.”
“Hey,” I said, not feeling entirely comfortable with the closeness, but it was Ana. And part of me was relieved to be here. I’d left my apartment and not looked back. I had the clothes on my back and the money in my wallet, but after hearing the concern in Ana’s voice, I knew I had everything I needed right here.
“You should’ve called. We would’ve picked you up from the airport.” She broke her hold on me and glared up at me, disapproval shining in her eyes.
“I needed some time. Besides, I rented a kick-ass truck.”
“Of course, you did. Jackso—”
“We’re here.” My best friend appeared, cradling Emma in his arms. “Glad to see you made it in one piece.” He held my eyes, respect flowing between us.
“Thanks … for agreeing to put me up.”
“Dennis, we told you before. Our home is yours for as long as you need.” Ana stepped back to Jackson, and he slid his arm around her.
I scrubbed a hand over my face, feeling my chest constrict. Fuck, I’d done it. I’d really done. Left Stonecreek, my old man, the only life I’d ever known. There was no going back.
“How does it feel?” Jackson said, and I rolled my lips together, unsure of how to answer that. When I didn’t reply, he came to me, laying his hand on my shoulder. “Come on, we can talk later.”
With a tight nod, I followed him into the house. Ana snagged my hand as I passed her and Emma, her eyes saying everything she didn’t, and I mouthed, “Thank you.”
But I had a feeling before the day was out, I’d owe them both a lot more than just thanks.
Ana took Emma over to her friends while I got settled. I’d called ahead, letting them know I needed to get out of Stonecreek ASAP. I’d imagined this day more than once—what it would be like to leave and put all the shit with my family behind me. It was the right decision, I knew that. Even if Cassie wouldn’t give me another chance, it was time to step out from my old man’s shadow. I
didn’t want his legacy to be mine. Never had. And it had taken walking into Hernandez’s bar and seeing Cassie again to realize that.
“Hey, how you holding up?” Jackson appeared in the doorway as I sat staring out of the window. Ana and Jackson lived in a nice neighborhood. All white stucco houses with picket fences and neatly mowed lawns. The kind of place you’d want to settle down. To raise a family.
A pang of regret washed over me. “It feels … weird, I guess. Stonecreek is all I’ve ever known.”
He came farther into the room, leaning against the dresser. “You did the right thing.”
“I know that. But his face when I told him …”
“He’s your blood, your family. But family isn’t always what’s right for us. And Miller isn’t the only family you have, you know?”
My eyes snapped to his, and I nodded, unable to speak over the lump in my throat. We’d come full circle. Brought together by a life neither of us wanted. But we’d got out.
In the end, we’d both escaped.
Jackson had a good life here. A wife he loved and a daughter he adored. He was living proof you could outrun the demons of your past. And I wanted that—fuck, did I want it.
“So what’s the plan now?”
“Plan?”
“You think I don’t see your mind working overtime? You walked away for her; don’t tell me you’re just going to hide here?”
“She deserves a fresh start, and her parents are back on the scene, so she’ll probably want to—”
“Always with the martyr bullshit.” His lips curved in amusement. “You love her?”
I nodded again.
“So then, what are you going to do about it? You said it yourself you just walked away from everything you’ve ever known … for her. She deserves to at least know the facts, so she can make her own decision, don’t you think?”
Jackson was right. Shit, he was right. But I couldn’t go back to Redmont. Ever. And calling seemed so … inadequate. If this was my last shot at fixing things with Cassie, I needed her to be absolutely clear about my intentions.
“I have an idea,” I rushed out, and my best friend smirked.
“Well, then. Let’s go get your girl.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Cassie
“Are you sure you won’t come with us?” Mom squeezed my hand again as if she couldn’t bear the thought of letting go.
“I need to figure out some stuff, Mom. And I have my sessions with Lucy, and Amanda is here, and someone needs to be around to sort through the house.”
“But you’re all alone here. Maybe we should stay a little longer, Phillip?” She gave Dad her I-mean-business eyes, but he just patted her on the shoulder.
“Celia, Cassie is an adult. If she says she’s okay, then we have to accept that. We’ll always be here. If you need us, all you have to do is—”
“Call,” I said. “Yeah, I know. Thank you, both of you. I wouldn’t have gotten through the past couple of weeks without you.”
They both came at me, squashing Lilly between us. She squealed with delight at all the attention, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I laughed. God, it felt good. A remedy for my broken soul.
“You call. If you need anything, promise you’ll call.”
“I promise,” I said, squeezing her hand one last time before letting go and stepping back. Mom lingered as if she was going to come back into the house at any second and make herself at home. But Dad wrapped an arm around her and guided her to their car.
After my parents left, I made myself a cup of coffee and sat in silence. Lilly was down for her afternoon nap, and I was alone. But the feeling no longer crippled me. I could do this. One day at a time. I was just about to switch on the TV when the doorbell rang. “What did you forget?” I mumbled to myself, expecting to see my mom standing there in a fluster.
“Ana?” I gasped at the sight of my old friend from college. “But … what are you doing here?”
And what was that sinking feeling in my stomach?
She gave me a tight smile and said, “Can I come in?”
“Hmm, okay.” I craned my neck around her. A white rental car was parked on the street, a familiar face in the driver’s seat.
“Jackson’s here, too?” I said breathlessly. This was … this was the last thing I expected. “I haven’t seen you in—”
“A long time. How about we go inside, and I’ll explain everything.” She glanced back and gave her husband a reassuring smile.
“Does he … is he…?”
“Come on.” She curled her arm around me and led me inside.
“I-I don’t … I don’t understand.”
“Let’s sit.”
“Did someone … oh god, is Dennis … did he?” It was the only thing that made sense. Dennis was our common denominator. He was Jackson’s best friend, and he and Ana had always been close. Dread washed over me, forcing me down onto the couch.
“Dennis is fine,” Ana said softly, sitting beside me and taking my hand in hers. “He’s okay.”
“He’s okay?” My heart lifted. But then … “Why are you here?”
“He sent us.”
“Sent …?” The words died on my tongue, lost among the million thoughts galloping through my mind. “But he left. Dennis left me.”
“He only left to protect you.”
“To protect me? I don’t understand … it doesn’t make sense.” None of it made sense. He was gone. He’d returned to Stonecreek, and aside from the one text message he sent me, I’d heard nothing. Not a single word.
“It was all part of his plan, Cassie.”
“Plan? He had a plan?” The word bounced round my mind like a led balloon.
Plan … Plan … Plan.
Dennis had a plan?
“Look, it’s been a long day. I don’t suppose you have any more brewing?” She flicked her head to my abandoned coffee mug.
“Yeah, sure, help yourself.” I nodded to the kitchen. The chances of my legs working anytime soon were slim. Ana made herself at home, making a fresh pot of coffee. She even dug a pack of Oreos out of the cabinet.
When she returned, I waited for her to explain. But instead, she said, “I was really sorry to hear about your aunt.”
“You were?”
“Dennis told me.”
“He did?”
This was getting us nowhere. I needed answers. I needed to know why I felt I was at the heart of some huge conspiracy, yet I had no idea what.
“Ana,” I urged, and she smiled at me over her mug as she ran her fingers around the rim.
“He came, you know. Jackson and Braiden got into some trouble a few months back, and Dennis just dropped everything and came.”
“I didn’t know.” He’d never said a word, but then between trying to keep him at arm’s length and the stuff with my aunt, there hadn’t really been much talking.
“He spent time with me while I was in the hospital. I had complications during my pregnancy.”
“You have a daughter, right?” Our mutual friend, Elena, had told me in her last email. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you. You have a daughter, too?”
I nodded. Everything about this conversation was surreal. If I didn’t know better, I’d have said it was a dream. It was too farfetched to be real.
“What is her name?”
“Lilly. She’s napping upstairs.”
Ana’s eyes glittered with something, but I didn’t have time to ask what when the baby monitor lit up quickly followed by a burst of cries.
“And there is she,” I said. “I’ll be right back.”
“Take your time.”
And I did. I gathered Lilly into my arms and held her tight. Everything was so confusing. But my brain was still stuck at the part where Dennis had sent his friends two-and-a-half-thousand miles to tell me he had a plan.
What exactly did that mean?
Once Lilly was changed, we headed back downstairs.
“She’s beautiful,” Ana said as I sat down with Lilly on my lap, chewing the ear of her stuffed toy.
“Thank you.”
Silence enveloped us. Thick with the events of our past. Back in college, when Ana had discovered Dennis and I were seeing each other, she tried to talk to me, to be there for me. But then her life imploded, and she and Jackson had to flee Chastity Falls. Together. They left everything they knew behind for a life together. After that, we didn’t stay in touch. It wasn’t that I resented her, but she’d gotten her guy, and mine was forever slightly out of reach. Deep down, I think I always knew he would never choose me. But I was too far gone to listen to my gut instinct.
I loved him.
Plain and simple.
I loved him so much, I stood by idly and watched like a helpless bystander as he ripped my heart to shreds.
“You know, Elena and I still keep in touch.” Ana finally broke the tension between us, and I went rigid.
“That’s ... nice.”
“Cassie, it’s okay. I know. I don’t know everything, but Dennis told me some things, and it didn’t take much to figure out the rest.”
Tears and anger burned the backs of my eyes. What did she want me to say? Lying to Elena was insignificant compared to what I was living. The lesser of two evils.
“It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay.” She shuffled closer, wrapping her arms around me. But her offer of comfort only fueled my tears. My anger.
My bitterness.
I pulled away, pushing damp hair from my face. “Sorry, it’s been a hard few weeks.”
“Of course, and I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t the—”
“I don’t need your pity or sympathy, Ana. I just need to know why you’re here. Why now?”
“I told you, Dennis sent us.”
“But what does that mean? Sent you to do what exactly? He’s the one who left. I’m right here, where I’ve always been. I-I don’t understand. Why is he doing this?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Her eyes held mine, and I saw so much understanding, I felt stripped bare.