by Tash McAdam
“Yeah, it’ll do.” X rustles in his jacket pocket, and the material moves enough that Jason sees the gun under X’s arm.
Jason’s stomach clenches. He suddenly realizes how stupid this is. Following a guy you think is a murderer?
X pulls out a big envelope. He hands it to the guy and gets some car keys in exchange.
A yell splits the night. Jason jumps but manages to keep his cover. He presses his body up against the cool metal of the camper van. He tries to peer through the darkness and see what’s happening.
X slams the trunk and pushes the big guy. “Go see what’s going on,” X tells him.
The dude turns and runs off into the shadows of the park. Jason watches, his heart in his throat. There are a few soft noises, and then the man drags something out of the bushes.
It’s Lucky, struggling to escape. “Get off me!” he yells, his voice thin and high with panic.
Jason freezes. He doesn’t know what to do. His fingers are numb and clumsy as he holds the phone, pointing it at Lucky and the man who grabbed him. The only thing he can think to do is keep recording.
Lucky gets dragged, kicking and wriggling, across the park. The man tosses him at the car. He lands with a heavy thud. “It’s just a kid.”
“I know this kid,” X growls, looking angry and wild. He scrubs his hand over his bald head, which is gleaming in the low light. “And if he’s here, there’s probably more of them. Shit.”
Lucky tries to make a break for it. He slides down the trunk of the car, but he’s grabbed before he can escape. X stands over him. Even from twenty feet away Jason can see that X’s face is twisted in anger. “You brats teaming up with that little shit Jason? Why can’t you fuckin’ assholes just stay out of my business?”
“Did you kill Jason’s sister?” Lucky almost screams it. Jason wonders if any of the people asleep in the houses around here are going to wake up.
X sighs, picks up Lucky by the front of his shirt and punches him in the face.
Jason pushes off from the van he’s behind without a thought in his head. “Leave him alone!” he screams, sprinting toward X. He has no plan, but he can’t just watch X beat up Lucky.
Too late, he realizes that’s probably exactly why X hit Lucky. X drops Lucky, who crumbles in a heap on the ground. Then X turns to face Jason, pulling his jacket back to show his gun.
“What’s your plan here, Jason?” X asks, sounding almost reasonable.
But Jason can see the edge of rage in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. “What’s your plan?” he yells back, skidding to a halt. He’s just out of X’s reach. Behind X, the big man shifts forward. “Are you going to kill us?”
“Yeah, are you going to kill us?” A voice behind Jason makes him jump. He glances back as quickly as he can, not wanting to take his eyes off X. Preet and Sunny are shoulder to shoulder, both of them holding their phones up in front of them.
“Cause I’m livestreaming,” Preet adds. “And I already called the police. You just punched a teenage boy in the face.”
Lucky groans from the ground, muttering something that sounds like “Yeah, fuck you.”
X looks from Preet to Sunny. He looks at Lucky on the ground and Jason standing in front of him, trembling with anger.
Jason hears sirens. Blue and red lights glint at the corner of the park and race toward them.
X runs. The man with him swears and sprints after him, disappearing into the darkness.
By the time the police cars pull up, Jason’s helping Lucky to his feet, inspecting the damage.
“Do I look tough?” Lucky slurs through a split lip.
“Super tough,” Jason tells him, almost laughing. Preet and Sunny talk to the police, and soon after that a police car heads off, sirens wailing.
“What’s this about a USB stick, son?” a friendly police officer asks Jason, leading him away from Sunny.
And Jason tells them everything.
The cops call Ron to pick Jason up and give him a general overview of what just happened. All the way home, Ron alternates between I can’t believe you’d be so stupid and I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, Jason. The cop who follows them back to the care home takes the USB from Ron with gloved hands, promising to keep them posted.
Jason drifts between the group home and school. He goes nowhere and talks to nobody, even when Ron tells him Sunny and Preet are outside.
He just waits.
He dreams of X pulling back his jacket, aiming the gun at him. X presses the gun between his eyes. Jason always wakes up then, gasping.
The day the cops come back to talk to him is the three-month anniversary of Becca’s death. It’s only been two weeks of waiting. But the days have blurred so much that it may as well have been a year.
He just sits quietly while they tell him where things are at. Two days earlier, X was arrested on charges of assault. The USB that Jason stole and Ron took from him has X’s fingerprints on it. It also contains spreadsheets that appear to pertain to a large-scale human-trafficking operation. The police also tell Jason that X co-owns a bar that both the missing girl and Becca worked at. They seem to think it will all be straightforward from here. They just have to prove X was involved with or was running this ring and Becca caught on. X must have killed her, or had her killed because of her snooping around. Now that the police believe Becca wasn’t just another junkie, they’re a lot nicer to talk to.
Jason gets a serious lecture about letting the police do their jobs and about getting involved with dangerous situations, but that’s all. Slowly a weight lifts off his shoulders. It’s done. They believe him. Becca’s not going to be remembered as a dead addict.
After they leave, he borrows Ron’s phone.
“Hey, it’s Jason.”
“Jason!” Sunny answers. “It’s Jason, everybody!” he yells.
Jason smiles.
Chapter Fifteen
Jason looks around the room that’s been his home for the last three years. He’s pretty sure he’s got everything. He didn’t have much to start with. A few pictures, some beat-up books, his clothes—all from Value Village at this point. His binders are the only precious things he owns.
The day he’d been dropped here, he was fourteen. He was empty-handed, exhausted and emotional. An orphan. The plan since then had always been the same—wait it out until he wasn’t a ward of the state anymore and then go to Becca. Becca hadn’t been able to get custody. She’d been too poor, she worked nights, and she didn’t have enough room. It was only a few years though. It was going to be okay. She’d save up, Jason would try to finish high school. Then he’d move in with her. Sleep on the sofa until they could afford to get a two-bedroom place. Them against the world.
With Becca dead, Jason’s only plan had fallen apart. He had spent months trying not to imagine this moment, but now it’s here. Time to move out, move on. Another kid needs the room. Probably more than one kid, since most of the rooms have at least two occupants. Jason’s leaving means two more kids will have a bed. He’s an adult now. Eighteen. On his own.
Jason’s leaving means everything’s changed.
He grabs his duffel bag and swings it over his broad shoulder. He’s packed on even more muscle since he started boxing. The weight benches really helped him bulk out. He’s getting a bit of a triangular shape now. It makes him look more like a young adult than a teen. His reflection in the grime-covered mirror catches his attention. Hollow-eyed, sure. Tired—always. But he’s standing up straight. There’s a confidence in the way he’s holding himself—pride even? He doesn’t hate his reflection, and that’s something. Something big. He grins at himself and then turns his back on the empty gray room.
Ron is in the office, sorting through paperwork, when Jason thuds down the stairs.
“Ready to go, buddy?” Ron asks, glancing up through the little window.
“Yeah.” Jason nods and then repeats himself with more certainty. “Yes. I’m ready.”
Ron watches him for a moment and t
hen smiles, his usually sad face brightening up. “You know what? I think you are.”
Jason rolls his eyes. But the words settle in his chest in a warm heap. Ron’s not so bad. To avoid any more feelings, Jason heads out to the car. Ron drives a beat-up old Jetta. Jason leans on the hood. The summer sunshine feels good on his bare arms.
“All right, let’s hit it. You got the address?” Ron asks.
“Right here,” Jason says, hunting in his pocket for the scrap of paper. “We’re headed to 627 Semlin.”
“Sticking to the East. Smart boy.” Ron leans across the front seat to let Jason in.
Jason climbs in, pushing his bag over into the back.
“Got lucky, I guess,” Jason says as he winds down the window, letting a breeze into the small and kind of stinky car.
Ron starts the car and spins them out onto the road. “You deserve a little luck, Jason.”
The rest of the ride passes in silence, Jason looking out the window at the passing houses and cars. It’s his ’hood, his locals.
Ron parks right in front of the address Jason gave him and waits for Jason to open his door. It takes Jason a minute. A few minutes. Everything is changing—again. He’s been through so much change, none of it good, over the years. He can’t shake the feeling that this is going to be bad too. No matter what, it won’t be Becca opening the door for him.
He grits his teeth and hops out of the car. Ron leans out the open window. “Want me to come up?”
Jason shakes his head. What’s Ron going to do? Either try to big it up or bring it down. Jason’s eighteen now. He can do it by himself. His stomach lurches.
“Uh, could you wait?” he asks, the words almost getting stuck in his throat. “In case they’re not here or...” Or they don’t want him after all. In case this is all an awful joke.
Ron gives him a kind smile. “Sure thing. I’ll be here.” He holds out his hand for a handshake.
Jason pauses for a second and then takes it. “Thanks,” he says. He means for waiting but also for the other stuff. Jason knows looking after him hasn’t been easy.
“Go on,” Ron says.
Jason takes a deep breath and turns around. He marches up the little gravel path to the apartment building and presses the buzzer marked 17. That’s the number Sunny gave him.
A voice crackles through the speaker. “Jason?”
“Yeah. It’s me!” Jason sounds like a complete idiot, but the voice doesn’t laugh.
The door buzzes, and Jason yanks it open. He hangs there for a moment, looking around the lobby. It’s spacious and has ugly decor, like a motel from the eighties threw up. He shuffles awkwardly, waiting.
A person jogs into the space, holding out a hand. “Jason, bud! Nice to meet you finally. Sunny says you’re the shit. I’m Tucker, Sunny’s cousin. They them pronouns.”
“Uh…” Jason stumbles forward, reaching out to shake hands. “Good to meet you. Thanks for...uh, thanks for having me.”
“Yeah, no worries. It’s not a palace, but we make it work. C’mon up and meet the others,” Tucker says, grinning.
They make their way up the stairs together, Tucker chatting away about the area, the coffee shops, the short walk to Commercial Drive. The trans-only swimming hour they go to every week at the local pool. Jason slowly starts to relax.
Tucker leads Jason down a hallway, then proudly stops in front of an apartment door. “Here we are. I think you’re going to love it.”
The door opens from inside, making Jason jump a little. Tucker doesn’t laugh or anything, just introduces him.
“Jason, this is my partner, Alex. He him pronouns. Alex, this is Jason.”
“Sunny’s buddy!” The man who opened the door looks Jason up and down. “Any friend of the baby cousin is a friend of ours.”
“Thanks for, uh, letting me crash here,” says Jason. He follows Alex inside, looking around the spacious apartment.
“You’re welcome.” Alex leads the way to the living room. “And I remember what it was like when I was your age. Except my parents threw my tranny ass out.” He laughs and then grins at Jason over his shoulder. “So we make our own family. It works out.”
And for the first time, Jason feels like it might.
Tash McAdam is a Welsh-Canadian author of several books for young people. Tash identifies as trans and queer and uses the neutral pronoun they. As an English teacher, they are fully equipped to defend that grammar! They teach high-school English and computer science and have a couple of black belts in karate. They live in Vancouver.
orca soundings
For more information on all the books in the Orca Soundings series, please visit
orcabook.com.