She also kissed Ping’s ass something terrible. It was so fucking obvious.
“What happened to your family, if you don’t mind me asking?” she said, bringing me back to the present moment and the ice-cold beach.
“I do mind,” I snapped, and then took a bracing breath. “My dad is dead and my mom is gone and they were both only children and my grandparents are dead. There. Happy now?” People always wanted to know until you told them and afterward they realized they didn’t want to know and the conversation basically died of natural causes.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, and our eyes locked again. Her cheeks were bright red from the wind and the cold, as well as her lips. I’d never noticed how pretty they were before. I mean, everything about her was pretty, but I’d always seen the whole package, and not individual features.
She sniffed and I pulled a tissue from my pocket.
“Here,” I said, giving it to her.
“Thanks.”
“So you spend holidays alone?”
“Yes,” I said, getting exasperated.
“I didn’t know that,” she said, stopping and staring out at the waves again. The wind whipped little white caps on each wave, making them look like they were frosted for a moment.
“Let’s go back,” I said. I couldn’t feel any part of my body anymore, and thinking was starting to get more difficult.
“Okay,” she said, and we headed back to the inn. The second I came into the warmth, I wanted to cry because it almost hurt.
“I’m a human popsicle. A humansicle,” I told Michelle as I tried to get my gloves off with frozen fingers.
“Do you need some help?” she asked, coming around the desk and helping me pull off the gloves. We both laughed when they got stuck and I had to yank and almost hit myself in the face.
“What are you doing?” Laura asked, coming up behind us and stomping her boots off on the front rug.
“Nothing,” I said, trying to grip the zipper of my coat and failing.
“Here,” Michelle said, grabbing it for me and pulling it down.
“Thanks,” I said. My fingers and toes and face were pins and needles and I shivered and pulled the coat off.
“You should sit by the fire and thaw out,” Michelle said, taking my coat and hanging it up as I pulled my hat off.
“Good idea.” All I wanted to do right now was sit by the fire in the den and read some more of that book with a cup of hot chocolate and hope no one talked to me.
I stood up from getting my boots off to find Laura giving me a strange look.
“What?” I wondered if I had something on my face, or if my nose was running or something.
“Nothing,” she said, looking away and pressing her lips together. “Nothing.”
Okay?
Leaving her in the lobby, I headed for the den. Unfortunately, there were several other people in there already, including Lillian, Minnie, and two of Laura’s aunts who I was pretty sure were married.
Damn.
Everyone greeted me with smiles and I wanted to run away. I didn’t like this kind of attention.
“We’re going to have afternoon tea, would you like to join us?” Lillian asked. “There are fresh scones in the kitchen.” I could go up to my room and be alone, or I could suck it up and get tea and scones with the nice people.
“Absolutely,” I said. I couldn’t turn down a scone.
“You want to have a scone, Laura?” Lillian asked and I turned to find Laura with a brooding look on her face. Even that was gorgeous. Did she ever look ugly? Could she? I didn’t think so.
“Sure,” she said, but she didn’t look as if she relished the idea. What was up with her? She’d been fine when we’d been on the beach a few moments ago and now it was like a cloud hung over her head. Weird.
Someone moved the furniture around so we could sit in a little circle to have tea. Michelle went and fetched a few tea trays with a variety of tea, honey (“from our own bees,” she said), and scones with jam and clotted cream.
“If that doesn’t look like heaven, I don’t know what does,” Lillian said, making a plate for herself and then a second plate that she placed in front of Minnie.
“Nan,” Laura warned, but Lillian ignored her and petted Minnie.
“Let an old woman have her fun,” she said, and Laura looked into her cup.
“Are you ready for activities tonight?” one of the aunts asked.
“Activities?” I said warily. I didn’t like the sound of that.
“Yes, every year we have activities for the nights before Christmas. Tonight we’re decorating cookies. You’re welcome to join us. Tomorrow night we’re making wreaths to put on graves at the cemetery, and then Tuesday night it’s Christmas Charades.” I knew I was supposed to be excited about all of those prospects, but I’d rather eat glass than play Christmas Charades. I’d rather eat glass, walk on glass, and be stabbed by glass all at the same time.
Laura elbowed me and I glared at her. What? Like I had to participate?
Everyone was staring at me in expectation.
“Well, I don’t know how long I’m going to be here. Decorating cookies could be fun?” It sounded like a question.
“It will be,” Lillian said with a wink.
I was going to do whatever I could to not be here the night they did Christmas Charades. There was no way in hell I would participate in that. No matter what.
We enjoyed our tea and scones, but I couldn’t stop looking at Laura. She had her gloomy on and I almost asked her if everything was okay before I reminded myself that I didn’t care. No, I definitely didn’t care.
I decided I needed to take a shower and maybe have some alone time for a while, so I headed back to my room, but found Laura following me.
“What are you doing?” I asked. She opened a closet near my room and pulled something out.
“Bringing you fresh towels,” she said.
“Oh, you don’t have to. I’ve got plenty.” She ignored me and followed me into the room and put the towels in the bathroom, taking the “dirty” ones with her to be washed, probably by her.
“Thank you?” I said and she opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, but then snapped it closed.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Fine,” she said, but that was definitely a lie. She huffed away and shut the door loudly behind her. What the hell?
I shook my head and went for the shower, stripping off my shirt and bra and I almost screamed when the door opened again.
“What the fuck?” I said, covering myself.
“Did you want a robe?” Laura asked, her eyes wide as she held one out. She was staring and I turned my back.
“No, go away!”
Laura dropped the robe and backed out of the room as I ran to the bathroom, my hands holding my boobs. I shut and locked the bathroom door behind me and put my hand on my racing heart.
Laura had just seen me shirtless. I mean, I didn’t think she’d really seen anything since I’d covered myself so fast, but she might have gotten a glimpse of my tits. This day was just getting better and better.
I didn’t want to go back downstairs after my shower and reading time, but I was also hungry and didn’t want to make a big deal out of Laura seeing me. It wasn’t a big deal. She had boobs, I had boobs, they were pretty much the same. At least that’s what I told myself as I walked down the stairs and tried to sneak into the dining room without seeing anyone.
Of course that wasn’t what happened.
Minnie ran up to me and then Lillian said hello and then Hank did and then everyone else did. They’d pushed the tables together again and this time they’d even saved me a seat.
I tried to be sneaky about looking around for Laura, but I didn’t see her. Someone was playing on the piano again, a crisp, sweet melody that I knew, but couldn’t place.
I glanced over and saw a sleek ponytail that I could have placed anywhere.
“Is that Laura?” I asked and Gre
ta looked toward the piano.
“Oh, yes. She grew up playing. We all thought she might go to school for music, but she decided on publishing instead.” Greta said the word “publishing” like it tasted bad in her mouth. What was wrong with publishing?
Laura wasn’t just a person who had taken a few lessons and could plunk out a tune or two. No, she was a real professional and I had to admit that I was impressed as she finished one song with a flourish and launched right into the next without pause.
I was completely distracted by Laura and didn’t notice Michelle trying to take my drink order. I’d even forgotten about the fact that she’d seen me without a shirt earlier and I should be completely embarrassed.
“Sorry,” I said, “What was that?”
“Do you want the drink special? We have mulled wine.” Honestly, that sounded perfect, so I ordered a glass and then she told me the specials. They went in one ear and out the other. Laura on the piano was completely mesmerizing. I could only see her back but there was passion written all over her body as she threw herself into playing. The music brought tears to my eyes and chills to my skin. As if she’d bewitched me with her music.
I found myself getting up from my chair and walking over to the piano, as if in a trance.
I walked around so I could see her face and it was . . . magic. Pure magic. Her eyes were closed and the emotion written on her face was something that I had never seen before. She was lost to another world that I could never hope to touch. I stood there and realized, probably too late, that it was a little creepy, so I moved to go back to the table and tripped over a decorative tree that fell over with a crash. Laura’s eyes snapped open and she stared at me and then down at the plant and back as if she didn’t know what was happening.
“I’m sorry,” I said, gesturing at the plant and the soil that had spilled all over the floor. I opened and closed my hands, as if that would fix everything.
Laura got up from the piano and walked away as I crouched by the tree.
“Help?” I said under my breath. Laura came back a few moments later with a dustpan, a brush, and some cleaning wipes.
“I’ve got it,” she said, her voice sharp as I tried to clean.
“No, I did it, I should clean it,” I said, taking the brush and dustpan out of her hands. “This is my mess.” I could feel her protesting, but she just let me sweep up the soil as she put the plant upright again and then I used the wipes to get rid of the last of the soil.
“You play really well,” I said, as I held out the supplies. That was when I noticed what she was wearing and my brain stopped working.
She wore a black suit with white ruffled shirt underneath and a black thin tie. Laura always looked gorgeous, but this was next level. She’d even done a smoky eye that made her already-gorgeous eyes look deep and mysterious.
“I’ll take care of that,” she said, taking the supplies from my hands. I didn’t know what else to say, so I stood there until she came back.
“I’m going to go back to playing. I think your drinks are here and everyone else is ordering. You should go sit down.” I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t find the right words, so I left her, heading back to the table.
I spent the rest of the evening trying not to stare at Laura as she played. She took a break to eat, but she wasn’t sitting anywhere near me. I kept losing the threads of conversation and kept having to ask people to repeat themselves. I was a complete distracted mess. The more I tried not to think of her, the more I thought about her.
“You feeling okay, darling?” Lillian said, coming over to sit next to me as a few people left the dining room and the empty plates were collected by Michelle and a disgruntled Griffin.
“I'm fine,” I said, and the room was suddenly quiet as Laura stopped playing.
“Are you sure? You seem a million miles away.” I wasn’t miles away. Just a few feet.
“I’m fine,” I repeated, and she put her hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes.
“Anything you want to tell me?” She asked.
“No. I don’t think so.” I didn’t know what was going on with me. It was as if I was in a dream, or an alternate reality. I looked down at my hands to reassure myself that they were mine.
“You just let me know. I’ve got two ears and many years of experience. I’ve been married eight times.” The last part she whispered, and I stared at her, shocked.
“Eight?” I asked. I’d never heard of someone other than Elizabeth Taylor being married that many times.
She beamed and nodded as if she was pretty proud of that number.
“I liked being married, but I got bored easily.” Oh, well, I guess that made sense. “I also look ravishing in white.”
I started laughing and she joined in. I officially adored her.
“What’s going on over here?” Laura’s voice cut through my laughter and I looked up at her and it was like staring into the bright sun. I wanted to shade my eyes.
“I was just telling Colden about my husbands.”
“Nan, no one wants to hear about that, gross,” Laura said.
“I want to hear about them. Which one was your favorite?” I turned back to Lillian and she grinned and thought for a second.
“That’s a tie between William and Thatcher. William was better in bed, but Thatcher had the most gorgeous house in California.” I burst out laughing and Laura made a disgusted noise and covered her ears.
“Oh my god, Nan! You can’t say things like that!” Lillian ignored her.
“It all depends on what you want and what you need. Don’t forget about either of those, and you’ll do well. The other thing to remember is that people change and the person that’s right for you now might not be right for the you that you’ll be in ten years. Doesn’t mean the relationship was a failure. Good things can last a short time and still be good.” I wanted this woman to write an advice book for me.
“Nan, you have to stop,” Laura begged, her face completely red.
“Fine, fine. That’s enough advice for tonight. Now how about you help your Nan get to the den. My bones are stiff tonight.” She held out her hand and Laura helped her up. Minnie dashed over, and I saw that she had a jingling collar around her neck. Like a dog.
“Hey, are you going to stick around for cookie decorating?” Michelle asked, as I watched Laura lead Lillian into the den and get her seated in one of the chairs by the fire. Lillian grabbed Laura’s ear and pulled it down to say something to her and then pat her cheek. I wanted to have a great grandmother. Something in my chest started to ache like it hadn’t in a long time.
“What?” I said, looking up at Michelle.
“Are you going to decorate cookies with us? You can eat as much frosting as you want.” She really seemed eager and I couldn’t figure out why. Laura came back and looked at me and then Michelle.
“Are you going to decorate cookies?” Laura asked.
“Is that the question of the night? Why are you all so invested in me joining you? It’s getting a little weird,” I said, trying to joke.
“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” Michelle said, but she was practically pouting. I looked at Laura and even she looked like she wanted me to say yes. I couldn’t handle all this peer pressure.
“Okay, okay. But I’m not promising that they’re going to look good. I’m no artist.”
“Oh, that doesn’t matter,” Michelle said. “Let me get everything cleared up and then we can start.”
Laura and I left the dining room and headed into the den.
“I have to put some more wood on the fire,” she said, walking away from me. What was with everyone tonight?
My car was getting towed tomorrow and then I could hopefully get out of this place. I felt like the holiday cheer was affecting my brain.
A record played a variety of soft holiday songs in the background as I watched Laura tend the fire. Must be a lot of work to keep them all burning. I wondered why they didn’t get the gas units
that looked like real fires. Lot less work, but maybe it was the charm they were after. That would make sense.
“Okay, cookie time everyone,” Michelle announced. Everyone seemed eager and we went back to the dining room to find trays and trays of cookies: sugar, gingerbread, spice, and others. Veritable towers of cookies and bags and bags of frosting in different colors already in piping bags. Then there were the bowls of toppings and sprinkles and colored sugars.
“There is so much sugar in this room,” I said. My heart was racing thinking about it.
“Isn’t it great?” Michelle said, touching my shoulder to step by me. I heard a disgusted sound behind me and glanced back to see Laura.
“What?” I said. Obviously, she’d made the noise for some reason.
“Nothing,” she said, feigning innocence. “Let’s decorate some cookies.”
I wasn’t going to lie: Decorating cookies was a blast. I got frosting all over my fingers and everything I did looked like crap, but I came up with a system. Every cookie that I messed up ended up in my mouth so no one else could see how awful it was.
“Are you going to finish decorating one?” Laura asked as she put the finishing touches on a gorgeous Christmas tree with ornaments on it. All her cookies were ready to hang in the Louvre. Why was she so damn good at everything? It was constantly being shoved in my face.
“Yes,” I said, grabbing a gingerbread cookie in the shape of a person. “Gonna make a nonbinary gingerbread person,” I said. In the smallest writing I could manage, I wrote “she/they” on the person’s chest and then gave her eyes and features and an outfit. It looked a mess when I was done, but I was happy with myself. I made a few more with different pronouns.
“Cute,” Laura said, leaning over my shoulder and looking at my little group of gingerbread people.
“Thanks,” I said. They weren’t fine art, but they made me happy, so I guess that was what mattered.
“It’s not a contest, you know. We tried that and there was actual bloodshed. It was an accident, but still.” I could imagine this family being competitive. They seemed to be intense about everything.
“I know. Yours are too pretty to eat.”
“Thank you, but that’s not true.” She picked up the cookie she’d just finished and shoved half of it in her mouth.
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