Embarrassed, I kept my eyes on the movie for the rest of the time. She got up about halfway through and paused it.
“I’ll be right back.” She went to the bathroom and I waited for her to return. I flipped through my phone and had an idea. I went online and searched for it. I put the item in my cart and then looked up the address for the Sterling Inn before completing the purchase. It would be here before Christmas.
Laura got back under the blanket with me and the return of her warmth was both cozy and disconcerting. She started the movie again and we watched all the way through.
“Did you cry?” she asked, as I tried to wipe my wet eyes without attracting notice.
“No,” I said through sniffles.
“It’s okay, it makes me cry too,” she said, wiping one last tear. Of course she was a pretty crier. I turned into a puffy, blotchy, snotty mess, but Laura cried like she was in a movie.
“That was really good,” I said. “I’m sorry I haven’t seen it before.”
“We watch it every Christmas, but not until Christmas Eve. I hope you’re around for that. We go all out.” They hadn’t gone all out yet? This was the most extreme Christmas I’d ever seen.
“I might regret asking this, but what do you do on Christmas Eve?”
Laura smiled slowly.
“We do Christmas Trivia, which is always ridiculous, we have Christmas dinner, which is always lobster, we watch White Christmas and then we each get to open one present, which is always the same thing.” Her eyes twinkled.
“What is it?” I asked, and then braced for the answer.
“Christmas pajamas. There’s a theme every year and we all get pajamas. Then comes the fashion show. There’s a runway. There are judges. There’s music and lots of heckling. After that is everyone writing a letter to Santa, putting out cookies and milk, and carrots for the reindeer, and then everyone goes to bed. You game for that?”
That was so many things happening. Even when I’d celebrated with Dad, we’d never done anything super elaborate. It had always been kind of lowkey. I’d always been jealous of the kids with tons of siblings and grandparents and so forth who had these big marathon celebrations, sometimes at multiple houses.
“I don’t know, am I?” I asked.
“I think you can handle it. And if not, there’s always lots of eggnog to get you through.” Good point.
“We’ll see,” I said. I didn’t want to commit to anything.
With the movie over, Laura got up and put away everything from the charcuterie extravaganza and then brought me some more blankets and pillows for the couch.
“Um, do you want to go to bed?” she asked, as she wiped down the sink in the kitchen.
“Do you?” I’d do whatever she was doing. I didn’t want to be a burden.
“Not really. This is early for me.” Another night owl. I guess I had known that since I got work emails from her past eleven, but it was still a relief to hear it.
“Do you want to just read?” she asked, and I almost melted to the floor in relief.
“Yes, I do.” I fished one of my books out of my suitcase and she grabbed one from her room.
“Oh, you got an advanced copy of that?”
It was a book I’d been dying to get my hands on, but didn’t know how to get.
“Uh, yeah. I may or may not have stolen it from work.” The guilt on her face was so cute.
“Are you serious?” I asked. “I’ve been whining online for a copy for weeks and you just had one? How dare you.” I reached to snatch the book out of her hands, but she stepped back.
“Oh, I will fight you,” she said, pointing at me with the hand that wasn’t holding the book. “Plus, I’m taller than you.”
She had me there. But I also had my ways.
“Just you wait, Laura Sterling. Just you wait. I can be patient when I want something. I’ll just bide my time.” I stepped back and pretended that I wasn’t interested in the book anymore, but her eyes narrowed.
“I don’t trust you,” she said.
“Likewise.”
With no further drama, we ended up on the couch again, this time on opposite ends, each with a paperback in our hands.
The only sound in the house was the soft rumble of voices in the other rooms, the grind of the refrigerator, and the tick of a clock in the corner.
Laura was a fast reader, I soon discovered. Her pages turned more rapidly than mine did, partially due to the fact that I was watching her read, and she was actually doing the reading.
“Are you reading or watching me read?” she asked, without even looking up as she turned a page.
“I’m doing a bit of both,” I said. It wasn’t that my book was boring, it was that Laura was interesting.
“Is there a reason?” She still wasn’t looking up from the book. Guess she was multitasking.
“You read really fast. I’m learning what I’m up against at the office.” I’d learned a whole lot more in these few days with her than I’d learned in a year of working with her. To be fair, I had done whatever I could to ignore her when we were at work and block out anything about her.
“I guess I read fast.” Page turn. “But you could be reading if you weren’t focusing on me. Eyes on your own page, Colden.” I narrowed my eyes. I didn’t like her telling me what to do.
I wanted to make a snarky remark, but I couldn’t think of one, so I went back to my book and let myself get lost in the story and stopped thinking about Laura. At least for the most part. She was still there, hovering on the edge of my awareness. She was a distracting person to read near.
I didn’t know how much time had passed, but she eventually put a bookmark in between the pages and looked up at me.
“I think I’m done for the night. How about you?”
I was just about to answer her when someone came through the front door.
It was Griffin and one of the other teen cousins who I couldn’t remember the name of because they all looked the same.
“Hey, can we crash on the couch? We lost our rooms.”
I looked at Laura and she looked back. My only options were to sleep on the floor or to crash with Laura. As much as I didn’t want to share a room with Laura, I hated the idea of sleeping on the floor more.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” I said. “Guess I’m sharing with you after all.”
Laura got her cousins set up on the couch and I followed her up to her room.
I wasn’t ready to go to bed yet. Bed meant sharing a very intimate space with Laura. I was never going to be ready for that.
“Yeah, sounds good,” I said instead. She folded the blanket again and I followed her to her room. She had an attached bathroom, which was a blessing. Laura grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom to change and brush her teeth.
She came back wearing silky pants and a tank that didn’t leave much to the imagination. I’d never seen her in pajamas before. I gulped and rushed to the bathroom so I wouldn’t get accused of staring again.
Unlike Laura, I didn’t have sexy pajamas. I had flannel shorts and a t-shirt that had a dancing piece of pizza on it. Super sexy.
Wait, why did I care if my sleepwear was sexy? The only one who was going to see it was Laura, and I didn’t care about being sexy in front of Laura.
I brushed my teeth more carefully than I had in my life. I brushed as if I was going to straight to a dentist who would murder me if my teeth weren’t pristine. Mostly I was avoiding going back into the bedroom.
It was pretty much what I’d expected: soft colors, pops of blue and yellow here and there, and everything was arranged just so. Her pillows even had that little divot in the middle that people who put their homes in magazines did.
Her bathroom was also massive, and had a tub and a walk-in shower. I briefly considered asking if I could use it, but that would be weird. I didn’t need to use Laura’s shower.
She sat in one of the chairs in a corner of the room where she’d made a little seating area. My eyes went
from her to the bed. There it was. The bed we would share.
“If you want, I can put some blankets on the floor,” she said.
“No, that’s not necessary. We can share.” I’d shared a bed platonically with friends many times before. I guess this was part of our budding friendship. I had agreed to try to be friends with her, so I guess this was one step forward in that direction.
“Are you sure?” she asked. I glanced from the bed to her. One of her knees jiggled up and down. Was she nervous?
“Yeah,” I said. “Unless you aren’t? I swear, I can crash on the couch. It’s fine. I’ve done it before.”
“No, I’m not going to make you do that. Uh, what side do you want?” There were nightstands on either side of the bed, along with a sweet little lamp. It was easy to see which side was Laura’s. There was a glasses case, a book, and a bottle of pills.
“I’ll take the left,” I said, moving toward the side that wasn’t hers.
“Okay,” she said, walking around the other side.
I got in the crisp sheets and they smelled sharp and clean. The bed dipped as Laura got in, knocked back a few pills and swallowed some water.
I’d brought my before-bed book with me and she retrieved hers. It was just like being on the couch, but it was completely different.
Our warmth mingled under the blankets and I sunk back on her pillows. They were fluffy and numerous. I made a note to buy myself some nice pillows when I got back. I had the money for them now.
Laura pulled her legs up and rested her book on them.
She was too distracting again.
“What are you reading?” She held it up so I could read the title.
“Nice,” I said. It was one I’d already read. She didn’t seem interested in mine, but I turned it around so she could see anyway.
“Oh, I love that one. I’ve read it like three times.”
“This is my second time through. I don’t like to read new books when I’m trying to go to sleep. I did that too many times, and regretted it when I couldn’t get up for work in the morning.” Ironic that I couldn’t go to my job of reading books because I’d stayed up too late reading books.
“Been there done that, have the t-shirt to prove it,” she said, and I laughed. Our eyes met and I had to remind myself to breathe. She smiled shyly and I had to tear myself away and focus on the pages of my book, but the words swam in front of my eyes as if I’d had too much eggnog.
Laura let out that little sigh and I had the strangest feeling in my body. I couldn’t even put my finger on it, but I was utterly and completely comfortable. Usually it took me forever to feel sleepy, but tonight it was as if I’d taken a warm bath, or I’d gone to a long yoga class.
Laura shifted and then I was wide awake again, but still comfortable.
I set my book down and turned to Laura.
“Do you mind if I go to bed?”
“Not at all. Will the light bother you?”
I shook my head. When I was alone I sometimes slept with the TV on, so a little lamplight wasn’t too intense.
I curled on my side, my back to her.
“Goodnight,” I said. “And thank you. For taking me in.”
“You’re welcome. Goodnight, Colden.” I closed my eyes and sunk into the mattress. Maybe I should invest in a new one as well. Laura’s was heaven.
The room was so quiet. The loudest sound was when Laura turned a page. She was reading fast again.
I tried to sleep, but it had run away from me again, so annoying. Not wanting to disturb her by moving too much, I stayed where I was. Somehow, my arm started to fall asleep, so I tried to shift and wake it up, but nothing was working. I turned slowly onto my other side, still pretending I was asleep, or at least close to sleep.
Now I faced Laura, and could see adn feel her every little movement. She read for a while longer and then set the book aside and the light went out. Laura wiggled down under the blankets and stayed on her back. I was always a side sleeper, and I’d always been envious of back sleepers. It seemed so easy.
Just as I started to drift a little, she turned on her side, and we were facing each other. I knew that if I opened my eyes, her face would be right there. Her breath moved my hair, but she didn’t breathe directly on me. She probably thought I was asleep, but I was even further from sleep now.
Laura was right there and I was right here and we were in the same bed.
What a situation to find myself in.
Something touched my hair and I stopped breathing for a second. I didn’t know what to do, but I couldn’t keep my eyes closed anymore.
Eight
Laura was touching my hair and Laura was definitely awake. I opened my eyes to find her staring at me.
“Oh,” she said in a whisper. “I thought you were asleep.”
“Nope,” I said. “I’ve been awake the whole time.”
“Oh,” she repeated. “I’m sorry.” She pulled her hand back and closed her eyes. I acted without thinking.
“Hey,” I said, touching her cheek. Her eyes popped open.
“It’s okay.” The darkness made things different. The darkness changed everything.
“Is it?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said.
I stroked the side of her face, putting some of her hair behind her ear. She almost always wore her hair down and I had never noticed that her ears stuck out just a little bit. Perfectly adorable.
Laura’s breath stuttered and I could feel her entire body shaking.
“It’s okay.” I stopped touching her and she reached out again, but she did something I wasn’t expecting. She wrapped her hand around the back of my neck and drew my face closer to hers.
There was just enough light to see the outline of her face.
Laura was going to kiss me and I was going to let her. No, I wasn’t just going to let her. I was going to kiss her back.
Just before the moment of no return, she paused and our eyes locked. She gave me a chance to pull back. To say no. To put on the brakes. To stop the whole thing.
I didn't want to stop. It had been so long since I’d been close to anyone and my skin craved touch. I craved closeness, even if it was just for tonight. Even if it was just for this moment.
In fact, I was the one who pressed my lips to Laura’s. Hers were trembling so much, that I reached out to steady her with both hands on her shoulders.
The shock of the kiss hit me hard. For a second, I had to remember how to kiss. It had been a while since I’d done any serious kissing. For a moment, we were just two people touching our lips together, nothing more. Then a switch flicked and the kiss turned on.
Laura’s fingers gripped my neck and pulled me closer and before I knew what was happening, my entire body was up against Laura’s and my fingers tugged her hair and I was kissing her in a hopeless and desperate way as if it was my first and last kiss and I had to give it everything or die.
I almost did feel like I was going to die. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think, I could only feel the heat between us, the electric energy.
Her mouth was raw and relentless, asking for more and taking it from me. I fought back and it was almost a battle for who wanted the other one more.
There was no time to stop and think about the implications of this kiss. The time for that would come later. There was only now.
Laura made a little whimpering noise in her throat and it was so cute, I almost smiled. If my mouth hadn’t been busy making out with her, I might have.
I gasped and fumbled and slipped my tongue between her lips and learned that Laura was extremely good at yet something else.
Damn, this girl could kiss. Holy shit. Either she’d had a lot of practice, or she was naturally gifted or both.
While we kissed, my hands went exploring. I traced her shoulders, bare except for the insignificant straps of the tank. It would be so easy to get rid of those straps and have full access to touch her perfect skin. I definitely hadn’t had much experience with
touching her like this. I hadn’t had much experience with touching her at all. I’d always avoided it and now I was starting to see why.
I wanted her. I wanted Laura, and this feeing hadn’t come upon me just in this moment. No, I’d wanted her for a while. No idea when it had started, but it was here and it was overwhelming.
I felt her pulling away from me and internally I screamed.
“Hey,” she said, and my eyes snapped open. There she was, right there in front of me with kiss-swollen lips. I’d been kissing those lips. The world tilted on its axis and even though I was lying down, I felt like I was falling.
“Hey,” I said back to her.
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Her fingers twirled pieces of my hair and I kept waiting for my better judgment to take over and for me to realize what an absolutely terrible idea this was, but it wasn’t happening. No, I just wanted to kiss her more. And more. And more.
There were other things I wanted as well. Things I wasn’t even going to name.
“Are you okay?”
I hadn’t spoken and didn’t trust myself. Instead, I kissed her again. I felt a momentary protest, as if she wanted to talk this out, but then she melted into me and I didn’t have to answer any more questions for a little while. That was safer. That was easier.
Our tongues met again and twirled in a slow dance of give and take. My hands continued their exploration of her upper body, and I got a little reckless, reaching for her to come closer.
Laura made a frustrated sound in her throat and then threw off the covers.
“Sorry, I’m sweating my ass off under here.” I’d been too focused on the kissing that I hadn’t noticed that I’d heated up as well. The air chilled me for a brief second, but then I reached for her again.
“Come here,” she said, laying on her back. Oh, this changed things. I scooted closer and slowly placed my body atop hers.
“You can touch me, Colden. I’m not going to break.” I’d been sort of hovering, not wanting to put my full weight on her.
“Okay,” I said, letting myself relax onto her. There were so many parts of our bodies touching. It overloaded my brain for a second. Then she did something that made me black out. She wrapped her legs and arms around me and this time, she kissed me.
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