by HK Savage
Ch. 36
James and I wandered in and out of some shops as the urge struck. Duluth was great for its boutique shops. I hadn’t had anything since breakfast and even though I argued I wasn’t hungry, James worried about another fainting spell so we stopped off at a coffee shop and I grabbed a vanilla latte.
We wandered into one of the shops advertising specialty woodwork and found, scattered throughout, beautiful sections of carved animals, doors and children’s toys, antique wood inlaid boxes. One box in particular grabbed my attention, reeling me in while James made a loop around the far side of the shop to get a better look at an old door.
It was about the size of a cigar box and had intricate patterns inlaid on all sides with a stretched out map of the world on the top. Each continent and the larger islands was a different shade and type of wood. I recognized mahogany, pine, cedar, and cypress; there were a few others not so easily distinguished. I thought it perfect for James’ office at home.
Patiently, I waited until he was heading for the door. “I’m going to use the restroom. Would you mind waiting at the tables out front with my coffee?” He gave me a curious look. Wrinkling my nose I raised my cup. “I can’t take it in with me.” He kissed my head, taking my cup before turning to walk out. When I was sure he was outside, I turned back and grabbed the box whisking it to the middle of the store and the counter.
The shopkeeper was a fifty something woman dressed in an artsy, burlap-like dress with some funky paint splattered glasses on a faux pearl chain. Dramatically made up eyes crinkled kindly at me over her glasses. “Quite a find, dear.” I didn’t know if she meant the box or James.
“Thank you,” I mumbled, blushing like a fool as she wrapped up my package. She smiled again as she handed me the bag and I walked quickly out of the store.
Stepping onto the street, my gaze easily rested on James’ back. He was sitting casually, to all appearances watching the people with little interest, unless you knew like I did, that he was studying each face for signs of danger. I couldn’t help but feel a little sad seeing him looking so out of place here, waiting for me at a mismatched bistro set on a narrow sidewalk between bike racks and trees. He should be at a real bistro in Paris or somewhere much more cosmopolitan than this.
I was standing outside the door of the shop, staring at him with my gift in hand, feeling woefully outclassed, when he sensed me and shifted in his seat. Seeing the smile twist his lips when he saw me, I tucked away my doubts for the future in favor of the pleasures of now. That skill was not exclusively his.
As I approached, his eyes followed my arm down to settle on the bag in my hand. I wished briefly he didn’t have to cover his eyes outside in the sun. I’d come to rely on them to read his moods. His eyes were the one thing he couldn’t control and without them I was blind. Motioning for me to come over and sit with him, a crease settled on his forehead when I set his gift down on the table in front of him.
“What is that?”
“Go on, open it.” I pushed it toward him, again fully aware he could hear my pulse accelerating.
Wordlessly, he took the bag and lifted the gift out very gently. Long pale fingers unwrapped the tissue paper from the box taking care not to let it slide on the metal table. When the last of the paper was pulled away, my eyes were focused on James’ face. I had a second of trepidation that I’d chosen poorly when he sat, paper held aloft in his frozen hand staring at it. It felt like an eternity before he reanimated and spoke carefully, “Claire, this is very thoughtful of you.”
“Do you like it? I saw it and could picture it on your desk. You have all of those business cards and scraps of paper with restaurants and stuff from your trips floating around in a pile. I thought it might give you a place for them.”
He leaned forward putting a hand on the back of my neck and his lips were brief but urgent. “I love it.”
After he rewrapped it for safe transport, we continued our meandering way down the street. Holding hands and looking in shop windows wordlessly for the next while. When he tried to get my attention he had to squeeze my hand.
“I’m sorry, I was in my own world.”
James gave me a quick grin and rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. “I recognize that I don’t offer up much from my past, it’s just that when you have so many lifetimes they can blur. What makes sense in one may not make sense in another because it is a different life entirely.” His expression was guarded.
I had thought about that before, how could I not? Yet Troy’s words about family had been cathartic. I knew the man James was now, regardless of his people or what he might have done a century ago. “I don’t mind. As long as you’re here now that’s all that matters.”
Cocking his head at my ready acceptance yet again of his complicated life, James got a weird set to his lips right before he moved. It was so fast I wasn’t ready and for a second; I was scared he’d seen someone when he plucked me out of the middle of the sidewalk and up against the building. I was taken aback never having approved of public displays of affection, but as usual, when he touched me I felt that visceral pull at the center of my insides and the world fell away leaving only him and his kiss. It was a moment before I recognized the sound of my name being called from somewhere nearby and my eyes rounded in fear.
James pulled me harder against his body and turned us so that he was between the voice and me. To an onlooker, it might have looked like he was maneuvering me to make out against the building. I knew he was putting himself in a position to protect me.
Peering over his shoulder, I followed the direction of the voice and caught a glimpse of my cousin Angie and her husband Brad walking toward us from two shops up. Angie’s eyes were popping out of her head, one arm waving wildly while the other held on to her poor husband being dragged along behind her, looking like he’d eaten a bug.
Before he unwittingly killed a relative, I whispered over his shoulder. “It’s family, false alarm.”
Immediately he relaxed his arm and turned himself into me for another kiss, being very thorough trying to sell this one as a moment of passion on the street. I didn’t mind although now I was really going to have them talking tonight.
“Angie, hi.” There was no need to fake the breathlessness or flush in my face. I stepped around him and didn’t argue with the hand he slid down my arm and into my palm. James took his protector status very seriously. I for one appreciated the support; family made me almost as nervous as bad guys. “Long time, no see. Hey Brad, how’ve you been?”
Angie was only a few years older than me and had married her high school sweetheart a year ago. They were a great couple, one of those that makes perfect sense to anyone who meets them for more than five minutes. She was a talker while he was the quiet type. Both were attractive, blond and tall. I had heard there was already pressure on them for children, however, they enjoyed running competitively and camping too much to give in yet.
Angie was of course the one to speak for them. “Claire, how have you been? I missed you at our wedding. You’ve changed. The last time I saw you I think it was my mother’s birthday. Weren’t you sick or something? You stayed in the guest bedroom the whole time. Guess you got better.” She eyed up my companion, her fascination readily apparent and it didn’t take Brad long to figure it out. He was tense, not at all pleased with James as he stared at him icily.
My manners kicked in. “Angie, Brad, this is my friend James Thomas. James, meet my cousin and her husband Brad and Angie Carlson. I’m assuming you two are in town for the wedding as well?”
“Yeah, we have to grab some things they forgot to bring over to the hotel. We’ll head over to the hall in a little while. So, James, you’re the date, huh? Jeanette, that’s Claire’s mom, has been speculating about you all week.” She stage whispered behind her hand, giving him a coy wink.
Brad cleared his throat attempting to be pol
ite. I had always liked Brad. He was nice to everyone because that was just his way. It was never to impress or get something. I appreciated that he’d never pushed me to participate or insisted on hugging at functions when I clearly looked uncomfortable, and for that I loved him.
“Hey, Ang,” he took her hand. “Don’t we need to finish getting that stuff? They’re waiting for us.” He shot a glare at James who pretended not to notice the jealous attitude shift. Brad must have squeezed her hand because she yelped and glanced up, turning a deeper shade of pink at what she saw.
Angie, back on her good behavior, waved as her husband pulled her back to the other side of the sidewalk. “See you two tonight.”
After they had gone, James and I both breathed a sigh of relief and I leaned my head against his shoulder. James kept his eyes constantly moving between the sidewalk and the street. So adept was he at his job, I knew if I looked at his face I would see only mild interest in his surroundings yet I could feel his muscles coiled tightly beneath the surface of his skin ready to spring if necessary. While I walked beside him, I thought about what Angie was going to tell my parents.
Groaning, I mentioned it to James, “You heard me tell my mom we were just friends and you were going to ask my dad permission to date me. Now Angie is going to tell them we were borderline indecent in the street.”
“I don’t mind if they know that you’ve let me kiss you. What about the situation makes you uncomfortable? Are you worried they will question your judgment?” One brown eyebrow flicked up accentuating his crooked grin.
“I don’t really care about the rest of them, but yes, I do worry what my parents will think.” I wanted to explain. “Just put yourself in their shoes for a second. Their only child, a daughter, who has never been away from home, is now off living in a dorm room alone with virtually no adult supervision. She has never dated and is innocent in the ways of men.” The corner of his mouth twitched. “Hey, I was a complete innocent before you came along, I’d never even kissed anybody before.”
“You didn’t seem to mind.” He was only half playful though, I could tell his feelings were mildly bruised.
What I had to say was important to me so I soldiered on. “Just listen please. Their daughter has been at school less than a month and this ‘friend’ she brought out of nowhere to go to a wedding with her has now been spotted making out with her on a public street corner. That just isn’t how I was raised. I don’t want them to think less of either of us for this.”
He was watching the crowd while he digested what I’d said. Shrugging, he agreed. “Yes, that would be a hard report to receive as a parent. I will be on my best behavior tonight and will do my utmost to wow them. They won’t even remember hearing anything from Angie by the time I am done with them.”
Tightening my grip on his hand, I gasped, “You aren’t going to mess with their heads are you?”
“Do you want me to?” He asked without flinching.
I’d never thought of him doing those kinds of things to people, definitely no more than a little convincing like he’d done to the desk attendant and that was for a good reason. Gasping, I heard myself justifying, “Can you do that? Do you know how to do what that woman did to Stephen?”
Sensing my discomfort, he tightened his arm around my waist, bringing my head into his chest. My heart automatically started to slow as I melted into his body and he lowered his face to my ear. “No, Claire, I would never do that.”
There went my heart again and I pulled away. “You didn’t say you couldn’t, just that you wouldn’t.”
“Yes, I could.”
“Have you ever? Done that to someone, I mean, against their will?” I whispered, knowing it was loud enough for him.
“Let’s head back to the room and discuss this there.” His features had hardened, I could see that around his shades.
Mutely nodding, I turned with him and let him lead. Our bodies drifted apart slowly on our way to the hotel, I had forced him to accept the loss of my hand for the time being. I didn’t think I was necessarily angry, but I worried I could feel him distancing himself emotionally from me, getting ready to wall himself off and set up borders between us; what I could know and what I couldn’t.
When our wandering had been random, we had gone up and down the streets and walked slowly. Now that we walked directly and with purpose, it only took ten minutes to arrive back in our hotel. A brief march through the hotel’s lobby, and we were back in our room, locking the door behind us. Our balcony doors had been closed and I reopened them. I wanted the brisk breeze on my face to clear my head.
For the second time that afternoon, James came onto the deck with me; except this time was not as jubilant and the loss caused an ache in my middle. He held out his hand and, of course, I took it as he led me back into the room. Sitting down on the far side of the bed, he drew one leg up and toyed with his pant leg. I sat on the far side from him with my feet pulled up Indian style and picked at a loose feather sticking out from the down comforter while I waited for him to start.
“There are things about what I am that are frightening to humans. In the stories, humans tend to concentrate on the physical aspects, they choose to forget the mental side. It’s too frightening.”
I watched him, trying to keep my face open, not to pass judgment. At the same time, I know that I didn’t want to hear anything that would burst my naïve bubble about him.
“We have the ability to enter people’s minds, alter their perception of reality, mess with their memory; it all comes with the territory. When our bodies cross over so do our minds. We are no longer held in check by what is and what isn’t. Our brains work differently. I can’t explain it but I can see into places in someone’s mind that just weren’t there before. It’s as easy as you can see if someone is happy. And all of that changes with age; the older the vampire, the greater the capability. I know you spoke to Henry briefly about me.” I opened my mouth to explain and he interrupted, “It’s fine, I’m not offended. Henry and I are very close and I trust his judgment. If he shares something with you about me, I’m sure there’s a reason. But I must tell you it has been difficult. This time with you has challenged me to confront some things head on.”
“Are you not comfortable with me? With my being a human?”
“No, your mortality is not the issue. What I am trying to explain is that I have my own doubts about myself, about what I am. And yes, I am tempted at times to use my advantages to achieve my goals faster and easier than the more traditional routes. However, as I believe Henry explained to you, there is something inside me that drives me, a desire to help both mortal and immortal beings. It prohibits me from using my abilities to harm an innocent, even if it seems necessary at the time.” His brow creased again. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t fight to protect someone I love.”
“It doesn’t bother me that you don’t talk about your past or what you’ve done in other lifetimes.” I laid a hand lightly on his arm needing to touch him. “I thought about it the other day after we talked about your… your sexual history and I am okay with not knowing a lot of the details. I know who you are and the details surrounding that are unimportant.” I met his eyes. “The one thing that I have to have is your honesty in this one.”
James studied me before he dipped his chin and held out his hand. “I think that’s fair.”
We shook on our agreement and as soon as our hands touched, I felt dizzy. My insides twitched and tugged and I put my hand over my stomach, part of me expecting to be able to feel the flesh moving beneath it. The pull I felt toward him had grown to the point that I was afraid if ever he and I didn’t see eye to eye, I would have no power to argue or to leave.
Lighthearted from our clearing of the air, James leaned forward and kissed my nose, keeping me from exploring the ramifications of my realization. I let his mood infect me and take my mind to a better place, not allowing it to be
troubled at the potential loss of identity I was facing.