'Marvellously done, Ryde,' Hanson exclaimed highly enthusiastically and gave me a violent pat on the shoulder that nearly knocked me over. He must have noticed the lack of life in my features and tried to cheer me up – if he had cheered me up much more he would have dislocate my shoulder.
'I could not have set the bone without you,' he gave me another pat on the back, and smiled such a broad smile that I thought his face would hurt from it. It helped very little this time. A tickling sensation came to my jaw. I pierced my eyes shut to ignore it. But smells, of all that had happened tonight, lingered about my nose. I collapsed into Hanson's arms.
'It is not me this time, sir,' I mumbled into his warm chest.
'Get a hold of yourself,' he said quietly and sat me into the nearest chair.
If only he knew how much of a hold I had got of myself. Hanson washed my hands and face for me.
'You should take a bath and change clothes,' he suggested gently, to which I gladly consented.
He prepared his bathtub for me, and gave me one of his suits, of which I would soon have a collection.
'Thank you, sir,' I mumbled under my breath.
He ruffled my hair.
After my bath Terry's linen was changed, the leg supported. Hanson sat in a chair with a set of fresh clothes of his own. He had a brooding expression upon him. When he saw me, it softened.
'Here,' he said emerging from his chair, 'you should stay with him, it will be a reassurance to him when he wakes up.'
'Are you not going to ask me?'
'Not tonight,' he smiled. Underneath that smile was accusation that stung in my heart.
The next morning, low and angry voices woke me. When my eyes fluttered open I did not immediately realise were I was. The headmaster, Hanson, and several other teachers stood in a semi-circle around Hanson's bed. I wanted to get a glimpse of Terry but there were too many backs blocking my view. I could not see him but he did speak and that eased my mind a little.
There was no accounting for what they would do to me. Afraid to let them know I had awoken I covered my face in the blanket that warmed me. It smelled of Hanson. How upset he must be with me. Again.
'I will take care of it, myself,' the headmaster suddenly proclaimed.
I twitched, suspecting it might be aimed at me. He left, however, with a quick and determined step. The other men, all but one, followed him.
'Good morning,' the remaining man said. Nothing ever escaped him.
'Good morning, sir,' I mumbled trying to sound sleepier than I was.
'How are you feeling today?' Hanson asked touching my forehead. The stethoscope dangling from his neck made him look like a proper doctor, indeed.
If I said I was well he would scorn me, which was why I was unable to respond at all. I sat up straighter and looked at him like a dog that had destroyed its master's favourite pair of shoes.
'G'morning, Jo,' said Terry dizzily.
'I had to give him a dose of Ether, because of his severe pains,' explained Hanson smiling at Terry who looked strangely content.
'I an't feel'n a thin',' uttered the boy with his head wobbling from side to side.
My gaze wandered to his leg. It lay propped up on some pillows. Only his toes were visible. They were swollen and blue. Hanson noticed the colour fading from my face, and blocked my view with his body.
'Come join me in my study, Ryde,' he took off the stethoscope, 'I would like to have a word.'
Swallowing the rising nervousness, I tried to stand up but the soreness of my muscles pushed me back into the chair. It felt like there were three elephants sitting on my lap.
'What is the matter?'
'Nothing, sir,' I said shyly and tried again. I did stand up but my body bent strangely. And so did the expression on Hanson's face.
'Y'should 've seen Jo climb. He's like a monkey,' giggled the patient all of a sudden.
'Shush!'
Hanson gave me a piercing look.
'Clim'ed up'n'down, up'n'down,' continued he.
'Terry, be quiet!'
Hanson's look on me intensified.
'You shoul'huff seen Chester's face,' laughed Terry. 'Every'un ran away. But not Jo, he didn't. Jo's a hero, right Jo?'
'Please, be quiet,' I pleaded.
Hanson was squinting his eyes at me, and I was shrinking under his gaze.
'Yes, sir! A real hero. He carried me all the way here. All the way. All the way. All the way,' Terry tried different emphasises on those last three words. Then, as abruptly as he had began speaking, he began snoring. But it was too late. The damage was done.
Despite being very much displeased with me Hanson patiently held the door open to his study while my movements came stiffly and slowly. I sat down in front of the enormous desk, Hanson behind it.
'A hero, eh?' smiled Hanson viciously. 'How fortunate for our hero that the headmaster is a great deal more angry at the other boys than he is at the hero.'
'Is he?' I pronounced in disbelief.
'Indeed he is,' Hanson continued smiling. That ambiguous smile kept me from feeling any relief. 'And how fortunate that dear Terence Barclay is rather talkative presently, and that he has betrayed many interesting facts to the headmaster, which our hero would have surely kept to himself, being all noble and proud,' Hanson paused, the smile slowly changing to a scowl, 'so proud in fact that you rather risk your health and that of a friend instead of asking me for help.'
I lowered my head guiltily.
'Because you never said anything, this happened,' Hanson pointed furiously towards the small opening he had left in the door to keep an eye on the invalid.
'Monkey-hero,' suddenly exclaimed Terry in the other room, and continued snoring.
'Is there anything you would like to add?'
Although monkey-hero had summed everything up rather nicely, I began apologising for the inconvenience I had caused him, but it did not satisfy him, at all.
'Ryde, I will ask you once,' he leaned further over the polished wooden desk, his reflection as angry as the original, 'tell me the names of the ones who are responsible!'
'Chester,' I said.
'That name has already been mentioned.'
Greenfield I thought... and Larry. But I could not tell on Larry, even if he had betrayed us, he said his father would kill him, and I could not – despite everything – mention Greenfield. He was the first person at Kenwood who was kind to me.
'I cannot, sir,' tears started building up, 'please, sir, I am at fault just as much as the others for not being able to prevent it. I tried, sir, but he would not listen. It was stupid and I knew it. But they called him names. They called him a coward. So he had to. I wanted to help him. But he fell, he fell all the way down, and he screamed, and they all ran away. I was all alone with him, and he would not stop screaming. He was so heavy. That tunnel was so long, sir, and I did not know which way to go. All that blood, and the smell of phenol,' I restrained the tears. In return I was seized by uncontrollable shaking. All the images flashed in my mind. All the noises went round in my head. The cheering, and screaming. I held my ears to make them stop. I heard the thud, the dull thud of Terry falling. Over and over. 'I was so proud of myself when I managed to climb up, I wanted Terry to be proud of himself, too. I am sorry, I am sorry!'
Hanson hugged me close to him with some force to stop my trembling. He was warm and smelled of honey and phenol.
'I am sorry,' I repeatedly mumbled into his jacket.
Chapter 13
EXPULSION
The next day I was summoned to come to the headmaster's office at two o'clock. I had not been to lessons because my guilty conscience did not allow me to leave Terry's side.
Hanson had the caretaker bring our meals to his study and cancelled fencing lessons to tend to the patient who did not appear to be his sole worry. Whenever he thought I would not notice he gazed at me with concern in his eyes. It made my mind even more uneasy on account of the upcoming meeting. Even though Hanson insisted that the headmast
er directed his wrath at the organisers of the tragic event rather than its participants, I could not help but think he was merely saying it to give me comfort.
There was nothing I could do in any case, hence I tried to keep busy with other things – and Terry made that easy. Hanson reduced the boy's Ether dose therefore he was more adequate than before but not by much. One minute he wanted to sit up, then lie down the next. The readjustment of his pillows resulting from his mood swings occupied me for at least half an hour until he he got bored of it. He then wanted me to read to him the book his mother used to read when he was sick as a child. When I came back from the library with the book which to find had proved most difficult, as the only distinction Terry had provided was the fact that it had brown leather binding and the title included the word 'adventure', Terry's mind was already changed. Now it was tea I had to prepare but once the cup was before him he decided a glass of milk was more to his taste.
I had a vague feeling that my readiness to nurse the boy made me rise in Hanson's esteem. Probably because I relieved him of the duties he would otherwise have had to fulfil – although I doubted Terry would have such an easy time ordering the doctor around. In any case, it was a pleasant change from all the vexation I usually caused Hanson. If indeed I would have to leave the school I had rather he kept me in good memory.
'Ryde,' he said, suddenly, 'it is a quarter to two.'
I was determined to remain as calm as I had been all day but suddenly my insides decided to dance a slow and agonising Waltz.
'Barclay do you think yourself capable of remaining here without supervision for thirty minutes?'
'But, sir, what if the building goes up in flames, or if the ceiling caves in all of a sudden, or the bed spontaneously explodes? How am I supposed to get away? I will be burnt, or buried, or torn to pieces.'
'I take that as a yes,' said Hanson with only the slightest hint of annoyance in his voice. Enough annoyance to make the boy cease his protest and fall back into the pillow sulking.
I wanted to say it was not necessary for him to accompany me but the words would not come out because I really, really wanted him to be by my side. After all, he might be the only one able to say something in my defence even if it would most likely be to no avail.
'It will be alright,' he said to my pale face and I tried to smile.
Hanson knocked at the massive wooden door. Instead of an answer the man himself opened it.
'Ah, Dr Hanson please do come in,' then he spotted me hiding behind his back and added in a less pleased voice, 'Mr Ryde.'
Without the enormous desk before him the headmaster did not seem quite so enormous himself. He looked rather, naked in fact. The man was of a medium height but his overall roundness made him seem smaller particularly when he stood next to Hanson. Nonetheless, he was the most intimidating person I knew. His nose was like the beak of a crow and the slim eyebrows pointed towards it in a manner that made him look like he was scowling regardless of the facial expression he intended to put on.
To my surprise the room was full of people. Mr Ferring, the French master, Mr Walsh, the Latin and literature master, Mr Judge, the law and politics master, Mr Smith the master of geography and nautical studies, and Mr Cleaverd the philosophy and history master were now complete with the presence of Dr Hanson. They all stood with their backs to the window facing the boys opposite them. There were Rajesh Greenfield, Lawrence William Larrington, William Chester, Nathaniel Keats, and Theodore Breakspear. The last two I remembered from the night in the well, other than that I had never spoken a word to them.
I searched Hanson's face in this crowd of people that made the office appear like a box. When I looked at Hanson's pretended smile which was so full of pity, I knew I was done for. My mouth dried out and my hands started shaking. I grabbed the hem of my waistcoat to make them stop. Not only would I be expelled but all the wrong people would be here to witness my downfall and humiliation, as well.
'Gentlemen,' the headmaster said with a calm routine that showed he had been in the profession of teaching for decades. 'I assume you all know why you are here but to prolong your suffering I will give a detailed explanation anyhow.'
Decades of expelling students. Decades of ruining their futures.
'On Tuesday night you have neglected school rules by leaving halls of residence past the designated hours, broken into school property, drugged your younger fellow students with Laudanum to abduct them from their rooms, forced them into danger which ultimately injured one of the students to the degree that he is presently confined to bed. That not being enough, you have also abandoned that very student in his hour of misery. What have you to say in your defence?'
Chester opened his mouth hastily but Greenfield put up a hand to silence him. The gesture left no doubt that Richard Redford's words were true.
'Nothing, sir. We are guilty of all the accusations you had the goodness and patience to mention, sir,' said my room mate.
I felt my eyes become moist.
'Very well, Mr Greenfield,' the headmaster made a prolonged pause to regain the benefit of control which Greenfield had snatched from him by pretending to admit self-reflection and acceptance. 'As there are so many of you, expelling all involved would make it seem as though I have failed in disciplining you. And discipline you all I shall. Of this you can be assured. Therefore, I chose to expel only one. See it as a warning.'
He paused again. A tear dropped down from my chin onto my throat and slid down to soak my collar. It left an agonising trail of itch which I dared not scratch for fear of moving at all. I was very conscious of Hanson looking at me. But it did not matter any more.
'I assume the Laudanum comes from your family's pharmaceutical trade business, Mr Chester, therefore it is you who faces expulsion.'
The boy turned white like a ghost; his eyes widened.
'B-but...'
'My decision is final. I have written to your father, he will come for you this forth coming weekend, until then you are excused from all lessons.'
'It was not my idea, it was G-,' Chester screeched like the rat he was.
'Bear it like a man, Chester,' said Greenfield as unmoved as if the headmaster had talked about the weather.
Chester gaped at him, his desperate gaze wandered from one of his fellows to the other. No one met his eye. No one would side with him against Rajesh Greenfield. After all, they had gotten away with it. Why should anyone risk their connection to Greenfield, who had guided them through this difficult moment and would remain their schoolmate, only to help a boy who had fallen? They did not care much for those who fell. But even though Chester had caused me quite a bit of misery I still felt sorry for him because I knew what it meant to let one's family down. His shoulders slumped. He admitted defeat.
'For everyone else lessons will resume in an ordinary fashion tomorrow. I will watch every single one of you closely from now on. You are dismissed.'
During the commotion I finally wiped my tears away.
'All but, Mr Ryde.'
My insides began dancing again, a fast Polka this time. While leaving, Greenfield smiled at me as if nothing had happened, and we were still friends, and would sit at dinner together every day until the end of time – he scared me. Larry had stared at his shoes throughout and continued to do so now. I wished he would have looked at me, apologised maybe even, for I would have forgiven him instantly because I did not want to be left without friends again – though what was friendship worth when it was without trust?
The door fell shut behind the boys. I was alone now facing all of my masters who made a step towards me and looked like they were about to ignite their torches and pick up their pitchforks.
'Mr Ryde, as I am sure you remember I have promised to evaluate you based on your skills before Christmas so we could see about your future at this school.'
'Yes, sir,' I murmured barely above a whisper. I had survived the butcher only to be cooked alive.
'I have consulted your masters and all of t
hem agree that you that it was a mistake to have you join the second year,' he inhaled sharply and scrutinised me, I was devastated, 'instead, you shall be a third-year after Christmas. Do not mistake this for a reward. Though your achievements are commendable, your conduct is far from it. I cannot wait for Kenwood to be rid of you. But as this is strictly my opinion, regard the arrangement as a compromise between the teachers' sentiments and my own.'
My body was numb from my ears downwards. I stared at him blankly. Was this a dream?
'You should thank the headmaster,' said Hanson unaware that this was exactly what I was trying to do by opening and closing my mouth uselessly.
'It was an eventful week,' he said apologising on my behalf.
The headmaster nodded and the other teachers smiled at me sheepishly. When the awkward silence seemed to drag on and I was still unable to say or do anything Hanson took me by the shoulders and turned me towards the exit.
'Thank you,' I finally said to the door knob and heard Mr Ferring chuckle.
'Please, go look after Terence Barclay. I will join you shortly,' directed Hanson.
My feet were walking on clouds rather than on cold marble. The world was just and beautiful and it remained so until I turned the corner.
'You have to do something Rajesh, please, Nathaniel, Theodore, Lawrence. I cannot be expelled,' Chester was pleading with his comrades.
'It is not us who expelled you,' said Greenfield as a matter of fact.
'But you came up with...' he paused as he saw that accusing the ones he was asking for help would not do him any good. 'Let us blame it on Ryde. That was the idea from the start, was it not? It must have been he who told on us,' uttered Chester in a high and desperate voice.
'You are doing Jonathan Ryde an injustice. He is far more respectable than you are and has proved to be a friend one can rely on. Jo would never tell on us,' he turned to me and everyone else followed his gaze. 'Is it not so, Jo?'
His motif was hard to asses. I wanted to believe badly that he was my friend. He was the first one to make me feel welcome when everybody else had done the opposite. But, of course, I knew that he was no friend of mine any more.
The Girl who was a Gentleman (Victorian Romance, History) Page 11