IX
IN WHICH SOCRATES INCREASES THE SUPPLY OF SPLENDOR
"In due time the Society of Useful Women met at our house, and I wasinvited to make a few remarks, and said in effect:
"'We are trying to correct the evil of extravagant display inAmerica, and first I ask you to consider the cause of it. We find itin the ancient law of supply and demand. The reason that women love toarray themselves in silk and laces and jewels and picture-hats andplumes of culture and sunbursts of genealogy lies in the fact thatthe supply of these things has generally been limited. Their cost isso high, therefore, that few can afford them, and those who wearthem are distinguished from the common herd. This matter of buyingdistinction is the cause of our trouble. Now I propose that weincrease the supply of jewels, silks, laces, picture-hats, andancestors in Pointview--that we bring them within the reach of all,and aim a death-blow at the distinction to be obtained by displayingthem. There isn't a servant-girl in this community who doesn't pantfor luxuries. Why shouldn't she? I move that we have a committeeto consider this inadequate supply of luxuries, with the power toincrease the same at its own expense.'
"I was appointed chairman of that committee, and went to work, withBetsey and Mrs. Warburton as coadjutors.
"We stocked a store with clever imitations of silks, satins, andold lace, and the best assortment of Brummagem jewelry that could beraked together. We had a great show-case full of glitteringpaste--bracelets, tiaras, coronets, sunbursts, dog-collars, rings,necklaces--all extremely modish and so handsome that they wouldhave deceived any but trained eyes. Our pearls and sapphires wereespecially attractive. We hired a skilled dressmaker, familiarwith the latest modes, and a milliner who could imitate the moststunning hats on Fifth Avenue at reasonable prices. Every servant ingood standing in our community was permitted to come and see andbuy and say 'Charge it.'
"Mrs. Warburton's ball for the servants of Pointview, to be given inthe Town Hall, was coming near. It happened that the committee ofarrangements included Marie and the young Reverend Robert Knowles.Their intimacy began in the work of that committee. For days they rodeabout in the minister's motor-car getting ready for the ball and forthe greater intimacy that followed it.
"Our ball sent its radiance over land and sea. Sunbursts shone likestars in the Milky Way. A fine orchestra furnished music. Reportersfrom New York and other cities were present.
"The nurses, cooks, kitchen-girls, laundresses, and chambermaids ofPointview were radiant in silk, lace, diamonds, pearls, and rubies.The costumes were brilliant, but all in good taste. Alabaster? Why, mydear boy, they would have made the swell set resemble a convention ofbeanpoles. For the matter of busts, they busted the record!
"The only mishap occurred when Bertha Schimpfelheim--some call her BigBertha--slipped and fell in a waltz, injuring the knee of hercompanion. To my surprise the brainiest of these working-folk saw thesatire in which they were taking part, and entered into it with allthe more spirit because they knew.
"RADIANT IN SILK, LACE, DIAMONDS, PEARLS, AND RUBIES"]
"The presence of Mr. Warburton, Mr. and Mrs. Delance, Marie, and theReverend Robert Knowles on the floor insured proper decorum and lentan air of seriousness to the event. It proved an effective backgroundfor Marie. She shone like a pigeon-blood ruby among garnets. She woreno jewels, and was distinguished only by her beauty and the simplicityof her costume and the unmistakable evidence of good breeding in herface and manners.
"Harry sat with me in the gallery.
"'She's wonderful!' he exclaimed. 'All this rococo ware simplyemphasizes her charm. Only a girl of brains could carry it off as shedoes. She's among them and yet apart. An old duke once told me that ifyou want to know the rank of a lady, observe how she treats aninferior. It's quite true. By Jove! I'm in love with Marie, and I'mgoing to make her my wife if possible.'
"'That's one really substantial result of the ball,' I said.
"'Do you think that she cares for Knowles--that minister chap?'"
"'I'm inclined to think that she likes you better,' I said.
"'Is your inclination encouraged by evidence?'
"'That query I must decline to answer,' said I.
"'Well, you know, I'm not going to be long in doubt,' the boydeclared, as he left me.
"The event was an epoch-maker. Long reports of it appeared in thedaily press and traveled far in a surge of thoughtful merriment. Forinstance: 'Miss Mary Maginness, the accomplished lady-in-waiting ofMrs. William Warburton, of Warburton House, wore a coronet and adog-collar of diamonds above a costume of white brocaded satin,trimmed with old duchesse lace and gold ornaments. Miss Maginness is alineal descendant of Lord Rawdon Maginness, of Cork, who early in theseventeenth century commanded an army that drove the Italians out ofIreland.'
"And so it went, with column after column of glittering detail. Sincethen the servants have enjoyed a monopoly in splendor--it's been akind of Standard Jewel Company, and certain rich men have boasted inmy presence that they haven't a jewel in their houses; and one addedwith quite unneeded emphasis: 'Not a measly jewel. My wife says thatthey suggest dish-water and aprons.'
"'It is too funny!' said Mrs. Warburton. 'You know those jewels at theball were quite as real as many that are worn by ladies of fashion.Most rich women who want to save themselves worry keep their jewels inthe strong-box and wear replicas of paste and composition.'
"The instalment jeweler has gone out of business, and half a dozenservant-girls have refused to make further payments on theirsolitaires and returned them.
"One singular thing happened. Nearly all those servants paid theirbills to our store, and we closed out with an unexpected profit, whilea number of stores who charged their goods to the noble band ofemployers have stopped for need of money."
'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry Page 10