by Steven Smith
"Well, that's a bummer. So, what do you want my opinion about?"
They had arrived at the main horse barn and corral complex where several horses were being worked in front of a group of onlookers.
They watched for a few minutes before Mike realized who the onlookers were. "Aren't those the people we brought back from Grim's?"
Tracy nodded, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hand. "Uh-huh."
"How are they doing?"
Tracy's face scrunched as if she was trying to form the correct answer. "It wouldn't be right to say they are doing well, but they're doing better. We've had a former family counselor working with them, but I think Brin's ideas have helped the most."
"How's that?"
"Well, you know we kept them in cabins here, kind of their own community where they could feel safe and apart from the rest of the people. We just had women interacting with them for the first month or so, then started having younger boys help out in order to introduce males into the mix, but in a way that didn't feel threatening to them. We gradually brought in older boys while having men come closer as they brought supplies or came to fix things, but only dealing with the men of their group. Finally, we had our men start interacting with the women to a small degree, smiling, nodding a greeting or asking if they could help with something, always calling them ma'am and never walking straight toward them - always as if they were just passing by."
"That was all Brin's idea?"
Tracy shook her head. "No, that was just kind of our own plan that we all came up with. Brin's idea was to have them work with the dogs and horses and teaching them combatives."
She pointed to the corral. "See that man working the sorrel?"
Mike nodded.
"That's Russell, the guy I first talked to behind the gate."
She pointed to a man walking a dog with a young girl beside him. "See the guy walking the dog?"
Mike nodded again, seeing the man stop and hand the leash to the girl.
"That's Fred, the guy who wouldn't leave because his wife and daughter were there." The memory clutched at her and it was a moment before she continued. "The girl is his daughter and the woman in the blue shirt watching is his wife."
Mike nodded. He remembered the night well. "So, they're all doing okay?"
Tracy was silent for a moment. "Not all. We've had one suicide and a couple are only marginally functional. Who knows if they'll ever get better. Many of the others suffer from nightmares, sleep disorders, eating disorders and the full gamut of PTSD, but they're functioning and getting better. Training the animals gives them purpose and a feeling of responsibility and authority. Learning combatives gives them a sense of empowerment and hopefully diminishes their feelings of helplessness and victimhood."
"That makes sense," said Mike.
He noticed a blonde woman on the other side of the group doing squats with a fence post across her shoulders. Her hair was in a long braid down her back and her movements were strong and smooth, almost touching her butt to the ground on the down and raising up on her toes on the up. He pointed to her. "Who's that?"
Tracy looked where he was pointing. "The blonde doing squats?"
He nodded.
"That's Ragan. She's kind of an anomaly."
"What do you mean?"
"She was with the rest, but she doesn't seem to be affected like the others. She stays with the group but doesn't really seem to be a part of it. She kind of stays around the edge, doing her own thing and watching. She's nice, but quiet, and seems very protective of the children. She runs and works out all the time and does extra combatives training with Brin." She looked at him with a smirk. "Why? Do you like her?"
Mike chuckled. "She's impressive, but you're about all I can handle for now."
"For now?" She put her hands on her hips and squared on him, her jaw set. "What do you mean, for now? And what makes you think you can handle me at all, anyway?"
Mike laughed. "I can handle you just fine."
"Only if I want you to," her eyes blazed.
He squared on her, putting his hands on his own hips to mimic her. "So, do you?"
"Do I what?" she seethed.
"Want me to handle you?"
She glared at him for a moment, then looked more closely at his eyes. "What do you mean?"
He smiled. "Because if you want me to handle you then you have to marry me."
Her eyes narrowed, and she hesitated. "I do?"
He laughed. "Well, I hope you say that with more conviction at the wedding, but yes, you do."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do I have to marry you?"
He shrugged. "Because I love you."
She looked at him, tilting her head as if considering him. "And that's all?"
He shrugged again. "And I'd like our kids to have those cute little freckles you have on your nose."
She continued looking at him, scrunching her nose at the thought of the freckles. "And what if I don't love you?"
He considered that. "Well, then I guess I'll go help Ragan with her squats."
Her eyes narrowed more, and her lips pursed. "Okay, I do."
"You do what?"
"Love you."
He nodded. "Good, then it's settled."
She tilted her head a bit more, as if in a challenge. "Are you going to kiss me now, finally?"
He smiled and moved toward her. "May as well."
It took a minute before they heard the applause from the crowd around the corral and pulled apart, looking at each other.
"About time," she said.
"So, you want all of the kids to have freckles?"
He smiled at her. "Maybe just the girls."
"Girls? So, you want more than one girl?"
He nodded, still smiling at her. "Maybe four or five."
Her eyebrows shot up. "Four or five girls?"
"Sure, so we have an equal number of boys and girls."
They had visited with those at the corrals for a while, then retrieved and saddled their horses and started toward town. The morning was warming up and wisps of clouds speckled the blue sky for as far as they could see.
They rode cross-country, staying off the roads and surveying the surrounding countryside from each hilltop, noting the growing herds of cattle and the expansive fields of wheat, corn and row crops slated for the Stonemont stores.
They rode in silence for a while, each getting used to their new reality together, until Mike finally spoke.
"Tell me about the female scouts."
She looked at him, sorry that the special silence had ended but happy to be talking to him, as always. "In general, or with particulars?"
"Both. How many do we have so far? How are they doing? Why do they want to join? How are they integrating with the guys?"
She thought for a moment. He wanted it all.
"We currently have eighteen active female scouts and they're doing well within the parameters of their tasks to date. I believe that's because the training is results-oriented and mission-specific as opposed to being based on standardized criteria that would either put them at a disadvantage or require lowered standards relative to the males. In other words, they can't run as fast or lift as much as the males, but neither the training nor current operational demands require that they do so."
Mike nodded. "Good. Go ahead."
"The wash-out rate is higher than that of the males, but I think that has a lot to do with the reasons they want to join."
"Why is that?"
"The guys join, I think, for several reasons," she continued. "First, for adventure - they are drawn to the excitement and challenge of doing something more interesting that working on a farm or in town."
He nodded. "Just like in the old days."
She glanced at him and smiled. She knew that was one of the reasons he had joined the Marines. "Second, to measure and prove themselves. I never understood this before, but I think it's an innate part of being a man - to test yourself a
gainst and be tested by other men."
She glanced at him again. "I used to think that was stupid. Now, I realize how important it is."
He nodded again. "To be respected by men who are themselves worthy of respect is an important measure of manhood."
She nodded to herself in new understanding. "A third reason, I think, is a man's basic feeling of responsibility for the physical protection of others. Women have it, but it usually just goes for their children or family. With men, it extends to the tribe, the community or the country - any group they feel they are a part of."
He looked at her and smiled. "Have you been reading psychology books?"
She laughed. "No, just paying attention. It took a while to escape the university programming, but reality will do it."
He continued smiling but said nothing, so she continued.
"So, the reasons that draw and keep men in a program like the scouts aren't necessarily the same as the ones that draw women. Many women see it as a challenge, but it's not necessarily seen as a failure or disgrace if they quit or wash out. People compliment them for trying and say that it just wasn't for them."
"So, there are no hard feelings among those who wash out?"
She shook her head. "Not really. Women are more cooperative than competitive. Failing at something seen as traditionally a man's endeavor isn't crushing to them. They get points for just trying. Then, they move on."
He cocked his head. "Interesting."
"As far as how they're doing," she continued, "I'd say acceptable. They are not among the best on their teams, but their willingness to learn and contribute is seen as a positive among pretty much everyone. They don't seem to detract from team cohesion, as we had feared, but I'm going to make a suggestion that may surprise you."
He looked over at her. "What's that?"
"That there only be one female per team."
He looked surprised. "Really? Why is that?"
"When there's only one female on a team, everyone looks at her as kind of a little sister. They are protective of her, though not at the expense of the team, but they expect her to pull her own weight. And she can be an asset when dealing with other groups, especially new contacts. She makes the team seem helpful and protective instead of threatening."
"Like having a civil affairs person along."
She nodded. "Exactly. But when there is more than one female on a team, that protective feeling for the little sister seems to go right out the window and gender dynamics rise up. It's weird, but it happens, and it can have some detrimental effects on a team. Also, studies done before the change showed that a large amount of sick time and separations among female military personnel were the result of pregnancy. If only one team member is susceptible to that it can be easily handled. More than that increases the problem."
He nodded. "Makes sense. How about male and female scouts being attracted to each other?"
She shrugged. "It can happen. Look at us." She smiled. "So I guess it can work out okay. Are you worried about that?"
"A little bit. Especially if the scouts are going to be used for longer terms in the field."
She looked at him. "Do you think that's going to happen?"
He nodded. "I think so. Jim wants to build the scouts up as much as we can. I'm going to meet with him about it and I can see it growing into a multi-faceted organization with several types of special units."
"How come?"
They topped the rise of the hill overlooking Jamestown and saw the bustle of mid-day activity below. Women were working in the home gardens, playing with children or walking the lanes between house-holdings while men walked in the streets where the community hall was nearing completion and the foundations of what would be the buildings of the town square were being laid. An old dump truck lumbered up Cob road, paused at the corner of West and South streets and drove to the south side of the hall where work crews were waiting to off-load it.
Mike stood up in his stirrups to get the kinks out if his legs and looked around. "We have no idea what's out there. There might be nothing, but there might be something that could swallow us whole if we're not ready and able to fight it."
He sat back down in the saddle. "There's no way to know without going out there, so Jim wants to start expanding our recon patrols and security zone."
"How much?" she asked.
"As much as we can." He looked at her and smiled. "Let's go do some spying."
They descended the hill and entered the town at the east end of South street, walking their horses past the town hall and around the back of the Jamestown Inn where they checked their horses in with Cesar and went through a rear service entrance to the Inn.
It was not quite lunchtime, so the restaurant was still mostly empty, and they selected a table by a window looking out onto the courtyard where they could watch the work being done on the hall as well as the inside and courtyard of the restaurant. Several other couples sat at tables in the large room and sounds from the kitchen indicated that lunch was about to begin.
As they sat down across from each other, Tracy leaned forward and whispered, "Are we spying yet?" with a twinkle in her eye.
Mike chuckled. "We're about to start."
She nodded conspiratorially. "Okay, good, ‘cause I didn't feel like I was and I thought maybe I was doing it wrong."
He chuckled and shook his head as Mrs. Hernandez came up to the table.
"And how are you two today?" she asked, her usual smile beaming and crinkling her eyes.
"We're fine, Mrs. Hernandez," smiled Tracy. "How are you?"
"To steal the words of Mr. Wyatt, if I were any better, there would have to be two of me to hold all of the happiness."
Mike chuckled. "Good. When do you expect our people to show up?"
Mrs. Hernandez looked out the window to see the workmen starting to come down from the upper floors of the hall. "They are about to break for lunch, so it will be soon." She looked around the room. "They usually get here when we're almost full so that they can pick someone to eat with."
She looked back down at them. "What would you two like to eat? Today, we have tacos; meat loaf with mashed potatoes and gravy with corn and green beans; steak with baked potato, corn and green beans; or pizza."
"I'll have the steak," said Mike. "Medium well."
Mrs. Hernandez nodded and looked at Tracy.
"What kind of pizza?" asked Tracy.
"Hamburger, sausage, mushroom or combination with your choice of onions, peppers and herbs," Mrs. Hernandez answered proudly.
Tracy thought for a minute. "I'll have the tacos."
Mrs. Hernandez smiled and nodded again. "Good choice. I'll be back in a bit."
"This is almost like old times," Tracy said as Mrs. Hernandez walked away.
Mike nodded. "It's nice, isn't it?"
She leaned forward, folding her arms on the table and looking out the window. "Sometimes I feel like I'm in an old movie. Do you ever feel that way?"
He smiled. He liked the way she thought about things in ways he never did. "I hadn't really thought about it. I'm just glad we've been able to hang on and start to build things back up. Things could have been a lot worse."
She nodded, her face growing more serious. "I know. I think about that, too. If it had happened when my folks and I were still in Lawrence ...," she looked at him. "If you and Christian hadn't been there when we were attacked ...," she shuddered slightly. "Things could have been so different."
He nodded. "Sometimes the smallest things can make the biggest difference."
She looked back out the window. "I think about my friends sometimes. I wonder if any of them are still alive."
He remained silent, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, he held his hand out to her. "You're alive."
She looked back at him and nodded, putting her hand in his. "Because of you."
He didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything, looking back out the window.
Workers were beginning to trickle
into the courtyard, single men tending to congregate around tables outside while those being joined by wives or families came inside where it was quieter so they could talk.
"It looks like the lunch rush is about to hit."
Tracy nodded, noticing waitresses appearing from the kitchen and heading to the tables to take orders. "Who are we looking for?"
"The woman who came asking for free rent and a stipend for her and her husband so they could teach drumming or something."
Tracy's eyes widened in amused understanding. "Aha! And what are we going to do?"
Mike smiled and shook his head. She was so cute when she was excited about something. "Jim says they have been trying to form a group to support them and their agenda, and he wants us to see what they're up to."
"How does Jim know that?"
"He has spies," Mike smiled.
"What's their agenda?"
He smiled and nodded a thank you to a serving assistant who put silverware and glasses of water in front of them. "We're not sure. That's what we want to find out."
"Won't she recognize you? You were at the meeting."
"I'm going to disguise myself," he said, taking off his cap.
She giggled. "That's it? You're going to take off your cap?"
He nodded. "You'd be surprised what a difference it makes to people who don't know you. Besides, she was so superior she just focused on Jim. She didn't pay any attention to the rest of us."
Tracy took a sip of water. "What does she look like?"
Mike nodded to the door. "Like her."
Tracy turned around as if searching for someone. The dining room had started to fill up and only a few tables remained empty. Just inside the door, a tall woman with long greying hair stood ridged, her chin lifted while she slowly scanned the room through round, rimless glasses sitting on a large nose. She wore olive drab shorts, sand-colored Birkenstock sandals and a tan t-shirt that bore the words I am a HUPERSON made up of graphic arms and legs in various colors. Slightly behind her stood a man who could have been her twin except that he was several inches shorter.
Tracy turned back to Mike quickly. "Oh my gosh, I know her!"
"Really?"
"Yes! She was a professor of some kind at KU. Women's studies, I think. She was always leading protests and marches and stuff in Lawrence. The guy with her was always with her then, too. I don't know who he is."