by Ruby Vincent
“I was wrong to fill your head with that nonsense. Kieran. The ledger.” He tossed his head roughly. “You were just a child, for fuck’s sake.”
“How can you say that? I wasn’t just a child. I’m your child. This is my destiny—”
He smacked the table. “Dammit, Addy! Look at us! Look at what became of my foolish, arrogant quest for supposed greatness. You are my child, but where was I when you needed me? I let myself be consumed by Kieran and the ledger,” he hissed. “Nothing mattered but finding it and keeping it until you. By the time I realized that, it was too late.”
“You weren’t t-too late.” My voice caught. “You found me. Saved me.”
Shaking his head, he covered his face. “I should’ve taken you away from her the day you were born. I convinced myself you were safer with her. What was I going to do with a baby? Strap you in a carrier and take you on hits? My life was too dangerous. If my enemies knew about you, you’d be in danger. If Kieran got to you. Kieran. Kieran. Kieran. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse.”
Dad laid his hand on mine. I squeezed it tight.
“After your mother disappeared with you, I finally woke up. I lost my home, my respect, the Lords, and Soren because of Kieran. I wouldn’t lose you too.” He tipped my chin up. “Be the woman you were meant to be, Addy. Be great. But do not become another casualty in this war. By the time you realize it’s not worth it, it’ll be too late.”
I leaned into his touch, eyes filling. “You had no way of knowing how far Mom would sink. If you had, you would’ve protected me, and when you found out, that’s exactly what you did. That’s all that matters to me, Dad. You’re there for me, and I’m there for you.”
“Always, brown eyes.”
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slow. “I don’t want to get into the past. We both know what we lost. This is about now. Today,” I said. “Today, the Merchants are getting into position to strike against Kieran, and they’re not asking if I want to take part. I’ve already paid for it.”
His tone sharpened. “What does that mean?”
“Sinjin brought me to a sit-down with Angelo Castillo.” Dad’s eyes flashed at the name. “I look more like you than either of us wants to admit,” I said. “He took one look at me and knew who I was.”
“What did you do?”
“Killed him, of course.”
He nodded sharply. “That’s my girl.”
“Before I put an end to him, Angelo tried to take me. Three guesses why.” I grabbed his hand as he reached for his fork. “I can’t stay out of this fight, Dad. Sinjin would want a reason that I can’t give him. If I’m going to be in the crosshairs, at least give me the edge.”
“I’ve told you everything I know about Kieran.”
“Yes, years ago. Then, you shut down all talk about him. Forgive me if I don’t believe you gave up searching for him too. Tell me what you’ve learned since, Dad. If the Merchants get there soon, I can get out of this war before I’m drug too deep into it.”
More like, I can win this war before anyone realizes the woman with the whisk was the one to watch all along.
So, okay. I didn’t tell my father everything. Not about this at least. There was a point in every father-daughter relationship when their need to protect their little girl got in the way of her interests. From the bad boy boyfriend with a rap sheet that she couldn’t live without, to the citywide gang war she’d ignite by securing the ultimate prize and the enemies to go with it.
We had reached that point. But one day, when this was all over, my dad would see I was doing this to get back what was taken from us. Those sacrifices would no longer be meaningless.
“I don’t know anything.”
I gave him a long look. “You forget I play poker with you.”
“You calling me a liar?” The old gangster in him roared up quick.
“Never, Daddy. I believe you don’t know where Kieran or the ledger is. But anything you’ve discovered—even the smallest detail—could help me.”
“Leave those boys,” he stated. “They stirred this shit up again. This Sin-whoever put you in a room with Angelo. Break it off, go back to Salvatore’s, and move on with your life.”
“I told you I can’t do that.” My reply was calm. “They’re mine now. Only child, Daddy. I never learned to share what’s mine.”
He kissed his teeth, glaring out the window.
I waited him out. His need to protect me was warring with his need to ensure I could protect myself. A parental battle I couldn’t relate to. The least I could do was let him reconcile in peace.
I patiently ate my cooling food.
“I don’t know, Adeline.”
Slowly, I put down my fork.
“Years ago, I was on the trail of someone. There were whispers of a man that could be him, and I tried to get close. The trail ended four years ago at The Pleasure Center.”
“The Pleasure Center?”
“The night that kid was murdered in the alley, the cops busted the place and TPC was dust. If Kieran was connected to the Center, it didn’t matter after that. He went underground and no one heard a word from him since.”
“In four years?”
“If Kieran was easy to find, he wouldn’t be Kieran.”
I grudgingly had to agree. There were no shortcuts. I had the same uphill battle tracking this guy down like everyone else.
“What will you do now?”
“Be thankful the Merchants have a thing for masks and hope I avoid another Angelo situation,” I replied. “Most gangsters don’t live to see retirement.”
“Present company excluded.”
“There are a few of the old boys kicking around, especially among the Kings. The Merchants are hunting them down to find out what they know of the early days of Kieran.”
“Not a bad plan,” he said. “Could actually get them somewhere if they found the right well to tap. At least these boys you chose have some brains among them.”
I smiled. “You’ll like them, Dad, I promise.”
He grunted.
“Sinjin is teaching me how to kill, and you should see him. He favors a boning-style knife just like you. Thin blades. Close contact. Plenty of blood, but enough control that they die when he wants them to. One of his men put his hands on me, and he cut off his tongue and left him to die in an abandoned building.” I grinned, high on two kinds of lust. “It was so sweet, Daddy.”
“Hmm. Now, that’s old school. Good to see there are still gangs out there that lead with action, and command respect. Not nowadays where bosses hole up in their safe houses, counting their money while they send cowards scurrying through the streets doing drive-bys instead of facing their rivals head-on. It’s a disgrace.”
Oh, boy. Get my dad going on the devolving state of modern gangs and crime families, and he’d go for hours.
“See, Dad? I know how to pick ’em.”
Dad laughed. “I don’t care about them, I care about you. Adeline, you admitted this is personal for Sinjin. Killing his father... He’s not going to let that go, and I don’t blame him. But let this gangster impart some wisdom my comrades rarely get old enough to acquire. Mix a vendetta with bloodlust and no fear of death, you get a man who will do anything—sacrifice anyone—to get what he wants.”
“And if I win...?”
“The girl goes with you.”
The words roared in my mind, coating my throat with bile.
“Sinjin loves me,” I rasped. “He won’t—”
“It’s not just him. You admitted you don’t know what Kieran has on the others. Why is that if they love you so much? There are secrets in that ledger worth killing to protect, Adeline. You are a secret worth killing to protect. What happens when you all have to make a choice? Love?
“Or the ledger?”
My father did not know everything about me, but then... he did.
“It’s getting cold, Dad. Let’s eat, watch a movie in the theater, and rob Kenny blind. It’s been weeks. I just want to
catch up with my dad.”
“We can do that, brown eyes.” He patted my hand. “And next time, you’ll tell me what else you’re hiding from me. You forget, I play poker with you too.”
MY DAD WAS GOOD ABOUT easing up on the interrogation and allowing us to enjoy our day together. I left his room without the leftovers I promised Rowe, owing to him finishing the entire thing, but I did claim a kiss goodbye and orders to return the following Sunday in time for breakfast.
I was seeing it as an opportunity to get more information on the trail that led to Kieran, and not a grilling about the boys and what I was hiding. Either way, Brutal wasn’t coming along on that visit.
“Bye, Mrs. Rowe.”
“Bye, Addy. See you next week.”
Waterford Retirement Home was a jewel in the middle of the city. The setting sun cast watercolors over the Victorian-style home nestled between a parking structure, and the alley that split the distance between a block of industrial office buildings.
I skirted the lawn’s flower border, shooting another text to Cash.
Me: I can’t wait to feel you inside of me again. I dreamt about you last night. You were an embezzling bank manager, and me the savvy assistant who caught on to your wrongdoing.
My phone beeped as I put it away.
Cash: And what did I do to ensure your silence?
I stopped dead. Was this happening? Is he doing what I think he’s doing?
Me: Took me down to the vault and tied me to that big, spinning pirate wheel lock. You ripped my clothes off with a letter opener, and fisted your cock while you told me in no uncertain terms that you owned me now. It’s around then I woke up.
Cash: No.
Me: No?
Cash: Let me correct that fantasy for you, Redgrave. Chains, cuffs, and cages are Sinjin’s bag. Not mine. If I found the hot little assistant snooping, we’d fight. You’d pull my hair, rake your nails down my back, break me in half clamping your thighs around my waist. That I’d be fucking you on my desk for the whole bank to hear would make no difference.
My eyes were huge. Reading his reply once, three, five times.
Picking up the pace, I hurried through the gates and rounded for the parking lot. I don’t know what the hell came over Cash, but I needed to get back home before he came to his senses. I’d have to see Gianna later that night.
Cash: I’d spread that pussy wide. Plunging—
“Hand it over!”
A force slammed into me. I careened into the wall, my skull bouncing off the brick. I didn’t have time to recover. Hands were on me—snatching my phone. Tearing my purse off my shoulder.
“Give it up, bitch!” Fetid, hot breath invaded my nose. A scraggly, loose-skinned face got in mine. I reeled back as he swung.
“Get it, baby!”
I tripped over my feet, falling onto his companion. She shoved me off, and I hit the ground with him on top of me. He tried another punch. I snapped my head to the side, and his knuckles crunching on the pavement rang in my ears.
“Argh!”
“Hurry up,” she screamed.
“Stop fucking standing there and hold her down!” He wrenched a Swiss blade from his pocket, brandishing it over my heart.
I smashed my knees in his balls. Howling, his hands flew to his groin and the knife sliced across my torso, tearing my shirt.
My next kick connected with his jaw. He flew off me.
I struggled to sit up, and was pushed down. She dropped on my chest, crushing me gasping on the concrete. Dazed, I weakly fought to shift her weight.
A tight, spangly tube top strained to contain her assets. The miniskirt didn’t try at all. Bare, thong-covered ass pinned me. I made a swipe for her hair, yanking as hard as I could.
Shrieking, she slapped me across the face.
“Give me the knife.”
“No,” I croaked.
The blade glinted in the fading light.
They cut my purse free of its straps and took off, howling their victory.
It took me a while to collect myself—catch my breath and get to my feet. Two minutes to notice the wetness running down my cheek was blood. Ten to stumble to the parking lot and discover my car gone.
Mrs. Rowe dropped the five o’clock tray of juice and cookies at the sight of me.
“Oh, Addy,” she cried. “Not again.”
“ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE okay?”
“I’m fine. Thanks for fixing me up, G.”
She stopped me reaching for the seat belt. “What will you do?” Her gaze drifted to the empty sandwich shop. “They’re going to lose their minds when they see you.”
Of course they were. Blood clumped my hair and dripped onto my top. The cuts and scrapes on my skin I could hide no better.
“I’ll handle it,” I said simply.
“Hey.” She kissed my cheek. “It’ll be okay.”
I gave her what I hoped passed for a smile. “I’ll call... when I get a new phone.”
Climbing out, I paused on the sidewalk, still in the rush of people passing by. I wished it was just the mugging keeping me bound. I wished it could be top bill.
Love is action, Adeline. It’s sacrificing all that matters because that person matters more.
“Here goes nothing.”
I stepped inside, chiming the small bell over the doorway. The door to the second floor had no such bell. The boys did not hear me enter. Backs facing me, they watched the news with glasses of wine and whiskey in hand.
“Hey,” I greeted. “I’m going to make something simple for dinner tonight. Quesadillas and black bean salad sound all right?”
Saint waved over his shoulder. “I’ll take a blowjob first if you’re handing them out.”
I almost cracked a smile. “Who says I am?”
“I—”
Brutal turned to me. The glass shattered on the floor.
“What the fuck?” Cash cried. “What’s wrong with you?”
Brutal stalked up to me, drawing their eyes. Three glasses met the same end on our cherry hardwood.
“Who did this?”
“What happened?”
“I said it wasn’t safe for her by herself,” Sinjin roared.
“Guys—”
“Was it the Kings?” Cash asked.
“How’d they track you down?” Mercer practically carried me to the armchair. “Did they follow you to the home?”
“Who was it?!”
“Guys!” I screamed.
They hovered over me. Four walls of radiating, suffocating anger. But silent.
“It wasn’t the Kings,” I said softly. “Just a good old-fashioned mugging. And carjacking,” I added.
“Describe them,” Saint demanded.
“Man and woman,” I replied. “Weedy, ratty-looking guy. I’m guessing her pimp.”
“How did you get back?” Cash asked.
“Gianna came and got me.”
“Why didn’t you call us?” Saint and Cash asked at the same time.
Brutal hadn’t spoken. His balled fists and flared nostrils said enough.
“Because I knew you’d freak out, and I’m fine.”
Mercer walked off and returned with a towel and ice. He held it to the bump on my forehead.
“She didn’t do much damage,” I finished.
“She’s going to fucking know damage,” Saint growled. “Cash. Brutal, track the car. Take your time killing them—”
“No, you can’t.”
“Yes, we can,” Saint snapped. “Go! Do it now.”
The guys stalked off.
“Guys, wait.” I knocked Mercer off jumping up. “You can’t do this.”
Cash ripped open the door, disappearing into the hallway.
“She’s my mother!”
My shout halted the thundering footsteps.
Slowly. Deliberately. Brutal and Cash returned inside—even as I wished I could take the confession back.
“Your mother?” Mercer repeated.
“Yes, Merce
r. My mother. Jocelyn Daniels.” I returned to the seat, slapping his hand and the ice back on my forehead for good measure. “She’s not dead or as absent from my life as I may have led you all to believe.
“Mommy Dearest likes to check in now and again, and relieve me of the cash or credit cards I have on hand. She often brings whatever lowlife piece of trash or pimp she’s hooked up with along to even the odds.”
You could hear a fly buzz in the building opposite. It was deadly quiet in the room.
“I’ve been easy pickings since she found out where Dad lived. All she has to do is hang around the home. She knows nothing will stop me from seeing him.”
Soft footfalls. Then Cash knelt before me. “How many times has she done this?”
My lips trembled. “Enough.”
“Why?”
I didn’t fault Mercer for the question. I hadn’t shared my history with him as I had with Brutal and Cash. For this very reason. Men as ruthless and savage as them, did not know what to do when they faced a being more soulless than they could ever be. Of all the terrible things they had done, in the face of this, they asked, “Why?”
“After Dad saved me from her, she lost her best bartering chip for cash, drugs, and child support. She had nothing. Eventually, Jocelyn turned to selling herself. A crime she holds me responsible for. I owe her for not dumping my ass on the street and taking off. I’m an ‘ungrateful bitch’ because I don’t take care of her the way I do Dad. She’s only taking what she deserves.”
“Brutal.” Saint spoke in a tone I’d never heard. “Kill her.”
I sighed, eyes falling shut. “You can’t kill her, Saint.”
“Why?” he demanded.
“She’s still my mother.”
“And?”
“Get the car back.” I was tired. So very tired. “Kill the boyfriend/pimp/whoever the hell he is for giving me this.” I pointed to the shallow cut through my torn shirt. “She’ll know why, and that’s enough. Maybe she’ll think twice next time.”
“There won’t be a next time.” Brutal’s soft voice reached inside and shook the dam holding back my tears.