All I Want

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All I Want Page 20

by Jill Shalvis


  that very smile—”

  The doorbell rang again.

  “Ohmigod,” she whispered, waving her hands at him. “Get up, get up! Put some clothes on!”

  He laughed at her but got to his feet. “Babe, you’re wearing my clothes.”

  She looked down at herself, made a sound of frustration, and gave him a shove toward the stairs. “What if it’s one of my nosy-ass siblings?” she hissed. “They have a key!”

  “Then they would’ve already walked in on us.”

  When her mouth fell open in horror at the thought, he shook his head. “It’s probably Kaylie again. With the kittens.”

  “Oh yeah.” She put a hand to her heart and let out a big breath. “Right.” She gave him the once-over, her gaze stuttering to a stop at his groin area.

  He flashed another smile. “Say the word,” he murmured, reaching for her.

  “Word,” she whispered, and then sagged against him like he made her knees weak. Liking that way too much, he pulled her in.

  “Wait, no,” she gasped, pulling back. “Oh my God, all my brain cells are gone. Go get some more clothes!”

  Holding eye contact, he cupped her head and kissed her. He’d meant it to be a light kiss, a thank-you for the most amazing evening kiss, but the wires got crossed in his brain and before he knew it he was in deep and completely lost.

  She pulled back first, eyes glazed. She blinked a few times. “Um. Where were we?”

  He had no idea.

  She shook her head and suddenly her eyes were solemn. She touched her kiss-swollen lips. “That felt . . . serious.”

  Yeah. It had.

  “Did you mean it to be serious?” she asked.

  Did he? Christ, he was confused. Not a comfortable state for him. When he didn’t answer, couldn’t because he had no idea what to say, she blew out a breath and held up a hand. “Never mind. Strike that from the record. In the moment, right?”

  He looked into her eyes, saw how much she regretted her question, saw so many, many things, all of which pinched his heart. “Zoe—”

  “Right, then,” she said.

  He opened his mouth, undoubtedly to say something stupid, but she tilted her chin up, nodded once like her decision was final, and . . . headed toward the front door without another word.

  Which reminded him he was bare-assed. He took the stairs at a quick clip, and at the top he glanced back down at her.

  She had one hand on the door handle but was watching him move with just the slightest bit of a smirk on her face.

  And that was when he knew. She’d been okay before him, and she would be okay after him. She was a survivor. And hell, maybe he’d overthought his impact on her life or his importance to her.

  Maybe it was him who was going to get hurt.

  On that uncomfortable note, he went to his bedroom and met his reflection’s gaze in the mirror over the dresser. Yeah. He was the one who was going to get hurt. “You’re an idiot,” he said.

  His reflection didn’t disagree.

  He hit the shower, the entire time thinking of the tough, beautiful Zoe, looking at him, waiting for him to say they could make a go of this, her gaze filled with what he knew was a rare vulnerability.

  Because of him.

  And then how easily she’d seemed to decide to move on. That thought was so deeply disturbing, he started to go find her, but his phone buzzed. A text from Amory.

  You’re not here yet.

  With a sigh, he called her.

  “Parker!” she yelled in his ear. “Are you on your way?”

  “No,” he said regretfully. “Listen, it’s not going to be soon.”

  “But it has to be. You said a week and I got everything ready so you have to come.”

  Uh-oh. “I never said a week, Amory. What did you get ready?”

  Silence.

  And silence when it came to Amory was never a good thing. “Am? Talk to me.”

  “No! You don’t love me, either!”

  And then she hung up.

  He tried calling her back, but she didn’t answer. He left her a text and an e-mail.

  More nothing.

  Shit. For anyone other than his sister, he might’ve just given it a few days and tried again. But this was Amory, and though her moods were pure and one hundred percent genuine, they were also mercurial. He stared at his phone for a while, trying to talk himself into letting it go. But the last time he’d let it go, she’d run away from home and managed to get herself on a bus to D.C. to come see him, where she’d gotten herself mugged.

  Shit.

  He called his dad. His dad was usually more reasonable than his mom.

  “Son,” his dad answered. “Been a long time.”

  Two months. Parker had called on his mom’s birthday and caught them in the middle of dinner with friends. It had been a good call as far as these things went mostly because with their friends listening, neither his mom nor dad had wanted to reveal any rift. “Dad. How are you? How’s Mom?”

  “She’s right here, son. I’ve got you on speaker.”

  Parker grimaced. “Great,” he lied. “Hi, Mom.”

  “Did you know?” his mom asked. “Did you know what Amory was up to?”

  He scrubbed a hand over his face. “That depends on what she’s up to. She just told me she’d had something planned for when I came but I’m not able to leave right now—”

  “Right, so now she’s decided to go see you.”

  Damn. “No,” he said. “I was just talking to her and—”

  “Parker, how could you?” his mom asked. “She can’t travel on her own, you know that, and yet you persist in putting these crazy ideas in her head. After last time—” She broke off and started to cry.

  Parker closed his eyes. “Mom—”

  “We’re going to have to get a court-ordered conservatorship to protect her now that she’s a legal adult,” she said tearfully. “We didn’t think we’d need one, but now with you tempting her at every turn to do the wrong thing . . .”

  “It’s not the wrong thing for her to want to get out and see and experience new things,” Parker said.

  “No,” his dad said. “It’s not, of course it’s not. But you’re the one who wants these things, not her.”

  Parker pinched the bridge of his nose. This was a very old argument. “Dad—”

  “No, Parker, you don’t understand,” his mom said. “You never have because you think what you want is what everyone should want. But everyone’s different, Parker. And Amory happens to be very different. She’s happy here and you need to see that and stop trying to make waves. It makes her anxious to think she disappoints you. So now she’s determined to make you happy. And we’ve all seen what a determined Amory can do.”

  Parker inhaled a deep breath. “Mom, that was three years ago, and we both know that the whole D.C. thing could’ve been avoided if you’d let her off the leash once in a while. With some supervision and practice, she’d have the experience to travel more—”

  “She was mugged, Parker,” his dad said. “Mugged on the street waiting for the bus. What is this world coming to when a handicapped little girl can’t even be safe in broad daylight?”

  “She’s not a little girl anymore,” Parker said. And actually, Amory had been mugged while showing a perfect stranger the picture of him in her wallet, which she’d held open, revealing the wad of cash she’d “borrowed” from their parents. “She needs experience handling herself in the real world,” Parker said. “She can do this, she just needs some help. I could—”

  “What?” his mother interrupted to ask. “Continue to fill her head with ideas of traveling and living her life the way you do?”

  “Not the way I do,” Parker said. God no. He worked 24/7. Hell, he worked even when he was on “vacation.” He lived and breathed the job and didn’t have much of a life outside that job. And he’d made that work for him.

  But the fact that he’d run so far and hard away from his workaholic parents and
the life they’d chosen, only to also be a workaholic in his own field, didn’t escape him.

  The apple, in spite of its best efforts, hadn’t landed all that far from the tree.

  But he didn’t want his life for anyone, especially his sister. He sighed. He knew they thought he was being too hard on them, that they were doing the best they could. “All I want for Amory is happiness,” he said. “That’s the bottom line, the most important thing. Thanks to you both, she has a good life. You’ve always been there for her.”

  “We’re not the only ones,” his mother admitted. “You’ve given her as much of yourself and your time as you can; we know this. But she’s getting the wrong idea.”

  “Mom,” he said as gently as he could. “You’re underestimating her. You’re holding the reins just a little too tight. You’re asking for her to rebel—”

  “She was hurt, Parker,” his mom said. “A concussion. A broken arm. She was hurt and devastated, and it nearly killed her spirit to know what the real world is like. Next time it could be worse; next time she . . .” She broke off with a shuddery breath.

  “You keep sending her pictures of every place you land,” his dad said. “Son, she looks up to you. You have so much influence over her, I don’t know if you realize how much. She wants to be like you, she wants to do all that you do.”

  Which wasn’t mining.

  Or staying near the family.

  “Please,” his mom said. “She’s impulsive. You have to fix this before something else happens.”

  Parker shook his head. “And how do you expect me to fix it?”

  “Talk to her,” his father said. “Tell her that you and she aren’t the same, that she can’t live the way you do. That she can’t run off just because she doesn’t like the answers we give her.”

  “Please,” his mom said. “Before it’s too late.”

  When they ended the call, Parker tried Amory again. She didn’t pick up, so he left her a voice mail and said the only thing that would fix this. “Amory, I’m coming to see you soon as I can. I promised you, remember? But now I need something from you, okay? Now that you’re eighteen, you’re a grown-up. And grown-ups understand that things don’t always happen as fast as they want.”

  Yeah, he was ruthlessly manipulating her feelings, but his mom was right on one thing—Amory was incredibly impulsive. “I’m finishing up a job here shortly. I’ll be there right after,” he promised.

  One way or another. “You don’t need to go anywhere. I’ll see you soon.”

  He disconnected and prowled the house. He was looking for Zoe but told himself he was just making sure the house was all locked up and that the occupants were okay. Zoe’s car was in the driveway but her room was dark. Hand on her doorknob, he stilled, debating with himself for a long, tense moment there in the hallway. But in the end, he didn’t open the door.

  If she’d wanted his company, she’d have left it open.

  He checked the kittens next, who’d been brought back by Kaylie. They were not only okay, they were wild. He sat on the bathroom floor and played with them for a few minutes, interrupted when his phone pinged a notification.

  Once again, the cameras in Cat’s Paw had been activated.

  He went to the kitchen to check his laptop.

  A convoy of five trucks, empty by the looks of them, drove into the ranch. Only one reason for it that he could think of. They were there to load up and move out.

  Seemed that what he’d told Amory was correct—this job would indeed be over soon, one way or the other, and he’d be free to go home. He’d leave Sunshine, and all that was in it. Normally at this point on a job he felt a driving need to get out.

  He felt a driving need, all right.

  To not go.

  Twenty-one

  Zoe stayed up late visiting with Manda, who taught her how to make the most amazing blueberry muffins she’d ever had. She knew it was likely that most of the love and adoration for them might be attributed to the bottle of wine they’d shared, but Zoe had crawled into bed with a smile on her face.

  Okay, so maybe the smile was also from all the earlier orgasms she’d had with Parker. Good Lord. She’d actually lost count. But once her mind went down that path, she lay in bed remembering some of the things Parker had done to her, and there in the dark she blushed.

  And ached for more.

  She’d done things to him, too, and reliving some of them got her hot and bothered all over again.

  Maybe he’d realize they could really have something.

  She got halfway to his room before she came to her senses. Even if he did realize their potential, he wouldn’t give in to it or do anything about it. He’d been nothing but crystal clear that they weren’t going to entertain having any kind of relationship past his time here in Sunshine, which put a pretty quick damper on her libido. Right there in the hallway she stilled. Then turned away.

  And that was when Parker’s bedroom door opened, backlit by the moonlight slanting into his bedroom and across a wedge of the hallway.

  He stood there looking disturbingly awake in nothing but forest green knit boxers riding low on his hips, like maybe he hadn’t been able to sleep, either.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  She stared at him, fighting the urge to lick him from sternum to the waistband of those boxers.

  And beyond.

  And she wanted him again. Why fight it, a voice inside her head asked—the slut again. Live in the moment. “I’m cold,” she lied. “I can’t get warm.”

  “It’s summer. It’s a warm night.”

  “Parker?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you really want to argue with a woman who’s trying to seduce you?”

  He went from sleepy to hot, aroused male complete with the slow and easy smile in a single heartbeat. “You’re trying to seduce me,” he said.

  “Trying being the key word here,” she said, starting to feel a little put out that he was still standing way over there.

  With a low laugh he reached for her, but she evaded. “I think I’m warm enough now,” she said, giving him a push.

  He didn’t budge, just hauled her into his arms. “No, you’re right, you feel pretty chilled to me,” he said, his voice one-hundred-percent sex. “Can’t have that, not on my watch.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck. “If you’re sure it’s not a bother.”

  “No bother at all. I’m your man.”

  The words put a little thrill into her heart even though she knew he didn’t mean it.

  “First, I’m going to warm you up. I’m going to share my body heat,” he murmured against her ear. “And I have lots of body heat, Zoe.”

  She shivered in anticipation.

  “And then,” he went on, carrying her to his bed, “I’m going to make sure you stay warm, even if it takes all night.”

  And then he made good on his every word.

  Zoe woke first and slipped out of Parker’s bed. One more night of erotic pleasure like the one she’d just had and she didn’t think she’d be able to walk away.

  No, she was sure she wouldn’t be able to walk away. Falling

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