by Sadie Rose
For my mom, I'm glad she has Andrew. When we get to the kitchen, she starts pulling fruit from the icebox
"Why don't you make us a nice fruit salad Ava? I'll make us some grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. Sound good?" I nod and start washing and cutting up the fruit as she gathers what she needs for the sandwiches. "He has a really great sense of humor too. He just doesn't take life too seriously. Don't you think that's a wonderful way to live life?" She glances at me, so I smile and nod. "I wish you could spend more time with him, baby, I know you will love him as much as I do. Now that things are settling down summer is over and school is starting back, let's try to do that. What do you think?" She looks at me for approval and I smile and nod.
"I just can't really think of something that we can all do together that's fun for everyone. Besides our family mealtime of course." She starts plating up our food and walks them over to the bar. "Iced tea sound good?" she asks as she fills two glasses with chunks of ice. I go over to the fridge and take out apple juice for me. She laughs "Ok tea for me, juice for you." We pour our drinks and sit down at the bar to eat. "We have missed you so much at dinner. I'm so glad you feel better. The boys were so worried about you they asked about you every day." Mom strokes my hair back. "Are you happy Ava? Does it bother you to have so many new people in the house? I know it’s different for you." I shake my head and smile at her. I really don't mind Erica, the twins and Andrew they are all nice and they make mom happy. She hugs me again and starts eating stopping now and then to tell me about something about the horses or one of the maids or Anson or the twins, but I notice that most of her stories have a common feature. Andrew. And even if I hated him, I'd love him because she loves him so much.
After lunch, mom declares I need to rest a little while, so I go upstairs and get my iPad and kitty and snuggle up on my bed. I open the app Mason downloaded and see he had texted me
Mason: I don't really LIKE school, but I don't hate it. It's not as fun as riding my bike obviously but some of the classes are ok. It depends a lot on the teachers and kids at the school. Some teachers can make the class more exciting. I have a few classes w Anson.
Mason: I'm at lunch now. Have you ever thought about going back to school? Would you want to do that?
Mason: I'm bored I think I should drop out and hang out with you all day. What do you think?
I laugh as I read his last message.
Me: Yes!!! You should definitely do that! Way more fun! I don't think I could go back to school even if I wanted to. I'm sure I'm really behind. I basically haven't done any school in years. Most of what I'm doing now is just videos and reading and listening to my teacher talk. Which honestly, I zone out through most of it. I don't think I could handle the noise and activity either. Those things still really bother. Especially bright lights, noise and stuff.
It's thirty minutes or so later before Mason responds.
Mason: You're smart, if you want to you can catch up maybe not in time for high school but definitely to go to college if you wanted? Have you ever thought about anything like that?
I read his message a few times before I reply.
Me: No not really. Not seriously. But then, I never really thought I'd text or write either
Mason: You can literally do anything Ava. You're amazing. Gotta go to class. Text me
I'm not sure what Mason sees that no one else seems to. He seems to think I can do so much more than I can. I feel like I've been underwater or buried underground and now I'm starting to break free and can see, hear and breathe for the first time. He makes me think things I've never thought of before. I see a psychiatrist every week and I have several doctors that I see. but I mostly tune out their visits. I don't want to see them or talk to them. I don't care what they say or think because all they want is to hurt me. Poke me, prod me, stick me, ask me things. Make me relive things I don't want to remember. I hate them.
Me: Do you think I could learn to drive? :) Now that would be fun! I'd like that!
I fell asleep after the last message. When I wake up, I see Mason has replied.
Mason: Absolutely! But you have another year before you are even old enough for that ha-ha.
Mason: School is almost over. Fucking finally.
Mason: I'm on my way home now. Where did you go?
I look at the time he sent the last message 20 minutes ago he should be home anytime! I run to the bathroom and fix my hair. I peer at myself in the mirror, trying to see what he sees. I only see me. The same me I always see. I grab my iPad and hurry downstairs I wanna be there when he gets home. I really have missed him!
Chapter 25
Mason
I didn't hear from Ava again before I left school. I'm honestly trying not to panic I know more than likely her mom came back or something. But my nerves are so fucking shot from these last few days, lack of sleep and then the emotions of Mays' fucking story this morning that I'm not really thinking straight. As soon as I pull up to the house I don't even bother going into the garage. I'm off the bike and racing inside before the wheels stop spinning.
And there she is her hair down around her all soft and curly, a giant smile on her face. I don't even think I just react. I take two giant steps forward and grab her up into a hug. She laughs and makes a squeaking sound that's fucking adorable before I set her back on the floor. I look around the kitchen and luckily, it's just the two of us in here right now. Though, to be honest, I'm not sure I would have done anything differently if the entire staff had been standing around. I grab Ava's hand and pull her up the stairs to my room.
I want to kiss her. I've never wanted to kiss anyone as bad as I fucking want to kiss Ava right now. Not just kiss her press her body against a wall and fucking devour her. I want to feel her lips, I want to taste her tongue. I want so much more too. The only thing stopping me is I don't think that Ava is ready for that and I don't want to scare her. But I can't stop myself from sweeping her into my arms for another, longer hug. I wrap my arms around her tiny body and let myself fucking breath for the first time in days. I'm surprised when I feel her arms go over my shoulders and around my neck. I give myself this moment. Her hair is so soft and smells like strawberries I bury my nose in her hair. When I realize I'm about to start sniffing her like a fucking creeper I decide I better pull myself together. I step back and tell her to put on some music while I get out of this fucking sissy getup. She laughs and goes over to my Xbox. I grab some clothes and hurry into my bathroom to change.
When I get out, she's sitting in the middle of my bed and seeing her sit there do things to me that it shouldn't. "Soooooo, what did you do all day? Did you have fun? I bet your day was better than mine." I watch as she types out a message.
I did have fun. It kinda wore me out though and I fell asleep. That's why I stopped texting you. Sorry.
"That's ok. I figured that's probably what happened" I totally fucking lie because I don't want her to know I'm a big damn baby who was worried all kinds of bad things had happened to her. "Are you still tired or do you feel better?"
I feel better! I'm is not tired at all. You know what we should do?
"What?" I ask
We should go for another ride on your bike!
She shoves her face close to mine and gives me this big goofy grin that I couldn't not laugh at if I tried. Laughing I push her away softly. "No way! Not without asking your mom first! They really freaked out last time!"
Did they? You didn't get in trouble, did you?
"No, but they were kinda pissed, next time we ask first? She rolls her eyes and I fucking swear she sticks her cute little pink tongue out at me.
Fine meanie. What do you wanna do?
I think of a few dozen things I want to do none of which I should say to a fourteen-year-old girl. The devil on my shoulder whispers "almost 15" I tell it to shut the fuck up and say "I'll teach you a new card game, how about that?" she claps her hands excitedly and bounces on the bed a couple of times before jumping up to grab the deck of cards off my d
resser.
What game??
"It's called speed and I'm just gonna warn you I'm the king of this game. No chance in hell your gonna win" I smirk at her. She laughs and hands me the cards. I explain the rules as I'm dealing out the cards. I've taught Ava to play several games. She's really good. She picks the rules up pretty fast too. Most of these games I haven't played since I was nine or ten years old and I'm not even sure I'm teaching her right but what the fuck ever. I win the first three games. and Ava gets this determined glint to her eyes that's cute as hell. But I win the fourth and fifth game too. " I told you I was the king!" I gloat just to be an ass. She laughs and throws her cards at my face. I grab her hand "Uh, uh, uh young lady. You made this mess, now you pick them up" I give her a super exaggerated frown and she is laughing so hard she can barely pick the cards up. Once we have them all picked up, I ask if she wants to play again and she says yes so, I deal them out. I could let her win, but I won't do that. It feels like It'd be insulting to her. I don't know why it feels like that, but it does. And she doesn't seem to be minding losing. I win the sixth game and the seventh but then she wins the eighth. Ok, I just thought I gloated. Ava loses her shit! She takes all the cards and throws them in the air. As they shower down on us, she jumps to her knees and does this dorky little dance. Then she launches herself into my arms laughing excitedly. Most adorable fucking thing I've ever seen. I think that's the exact moment I decide that Ava is mine. I'm never letting this girl go.
Chapter 26
Ava
The week passes quickly. During the day I play with kitty, or my dolls or help Mom in the kitchen or stables. Mason and I text throughout the day while he is at school. When he gets home, we go for walks, play cards or Xbox. We haven't ridden his bike again, but he said he will ask my mom if we can go Saturday. My birthday!! Every night we have dinner as a family. Anson isn't always there because of football practice. Tonight, is their first game. Everyone is going to watch him play except me and Mason. I kinda wish I could go but I don't think I could handle all the crowds and noise. Mason is encouraging me to try. if not this game then another one later. I'm thinking about it. Family dinners used to be quiet but now they are full of laughter and talking. We always laughed and talked but it's different now. It went from just me, Mom and Anson when he could join us, to it being me, Mom, Andrew, Jack, Oliver, Erica, Mason and Anson. When Mom first told me, they were moving in with us I really didn't like the idea. Now I like having them around. Mom's right about Andrew, he is funny! He always has a couple of jokes for the twins. But they are the CORNIEST jokes! Last night out of the blue he asked Jack
"Hey jack, why was the sand wet?"
Jack said, "because it's by the ocean?"
"Nope, because the sea weed!" We all laughed because hey, it was dorky and funny. But Oh my God! Jack laughed so hard he shot soda out of his nose!! Which set Oliver to laughing so hard he fell out of his chair. The jokes are funny but the twins' reactions to them are what's really funny. Andrew doesn't just tell corny jokes; he can make anything funny. He tells us about his day, his clients and partners and even things that don't seem like they would be funny are the way he tells them. Erica is a little quieter than the guys in her family. She seems happy and she smiles and laughs. She tells us about school and her friends but she's not as funny as the others. Mason hardly ever talks at dinner. I think he feels a little bit like an outsider to the rest of his family. I've asked him lots about his family and I know that he's lived most of his life with his mom and so he isn't very close to any of them. Him and Erica are the closest but that's just because of Facebook and Instagram. Which he showed me how to use but I didn't get it too much and it kinda bored me.
After dinner, I hang out with Mason. Usually, Erica or Anson or both join us. We watch a movie or Erica will make us watch one of her shows with her. I don't care, it’s just fun hanging out with them. Sometimes Mason has homework, so I just sit in his room and read one of his books or draw or color or play games on his phone while he does it. My iPad flashes and I open the text app.
Mason: Where are you? I thought we were hanging out while everyone went to the game.
Me: We are I just had to feed kitty. Have they left already?
Mason: Yep they just left.
Me: Oh. Ok I'll be there in a minute.
Mason: Awesome!
I finish giving kitty her bottle and put her on my bed. Then hurry to Mason's room. When I walk in, he's laid back on his bed with his back against the headboard. His long legs are stretched out in front of him. He's wearing his usual outfit of torn black jeans and T-shirt. His hair flops over his face and he's texting on his phone. My heart does weird things whenever I see him but especially when I see him like this. No one has ever affected me the way he does. He looks up when I walk in.
"Hey Ava. You should have brought kitty with you she could hang out with us." he smiles at me.
I'll go get her later. What do you wanna do? We could play a game. Or watch a movie?
Mason doesn't answer right away. He seems distracted or like he's thinking of something. Finally, he says. "Here's the thing, Ava. I wanna talk to you about some things but I'm sorta worried how you will react."
What things?
"I don't know how to start. I'm worried about upsetting you. Maybe now's not the right time."
Why not? Why will it upset me?
"Well, maybe we should wait until your mom is home in case you get upset?"
If I get upset, I'll just say I don't want to talk about it anymore.
"Are you sure? Because seriously, you know you never have to do anything with me that you don't want to do."
I'm sure. I know. You always tell me that. if I don't like what we are talking about I'll just say I don't want to talk about it anymore.
He sits for a few more minutes, then says "Remember earlier this week I mentioned a fight after the motorcycle ride, and you asked if we had had a fight?" I nod. "We didn't but Anson and I did. He was pissed about the bike ride and then afterwards Dad and Kate were talking to us in Dad's office. I told them that you wanted to go for a ride, and they asked how I knew you wanted to go." I look at him with wide eyes. he continues. "I didn't tell them about us texting Ava." I exhale the breath that had been caught in my throat. Then he says, "But I think we should." I shake my head no. "Let me explain why ok? I've really been thinking about this a lot."
Ok. But I don't want to do that.
"I know but why? I think it could help you, Ava."
How? How can it help me?
"Well, for one don't you want to be able to talk to your mom and Anson? Tell them what you like or want? Ask to do things? Like go for another ride on the bike or tell them you want to start riding horses again? Right now, there's so much that you can’t do because you can't communicate with them. Which is another thing I wanted to ask you did anyone ever try to get you to talk to them? Through sign language or texting or anything?
Yes. They did. It's been a long time but sometimes my doctors still try different things. Like sign language or writing.
"Ava, I know some of what happened to you. Are you ok if I talk about it?" I feel like all the air was just sucked from my body and I can't breathe.
What do you know?
Mason is staring at me. "Are you ok? Can you talk about this? We can stop if you want?"
Why do you want to talk about it?
"Because I care about you. A lot. And I think that your life could be so much better than what it is now. You are smart and funny and pretty." He reaches over and touches my hair rubbing a strand between his thumb and finger. "I want to do things with you. Take you places to eat or to a movie or a park or zoo. But right now, I can't. I think though, that one day we could. Is that something you even want? Or are you happy here in this house? Because maybe I'm wrong, maybe you don't want more and that's ok if you don't Ava. I'll always be your friend even if you don't ever want to leave this house again. But there's a huge world out there. There's so much to see an
d do. So much that I know you would love." I think for a few minutes just staring at mason while he stares back at me.
I do want that, but I don't think telling them I can text will help. They know I can. Just that I won't.
"I'm not sure they do though Ava. How much do you know about what happened to you? Do you remember any of it?"
Yes, I don't want to talk about that though. Ok?
"Ok we don't have to but if I say something and it's something you don't remember will that scare you?'
I don't know. Maybe?
"You don't remember the fight, right?"
No, I don't remember a fight. Was it bad?
"Not too bad a few punches thrown." I let out a shocked gasp.
You PUNCHED Anson! WHY?!
"Hey! He punched me first!" Mason says and grins at me.
Why?!!
"He was mad we went for a ride. But look here's the thing. It really upset you."
Did it really? How do you know?
"Has anyone ever told you that you have "episodes" or anything like that?"
I don't think so. I don't really know what you mean.
I frown at Mason. This conversation is confusing me. I don't know what he is talking about. "You got really upset and they had to get a doctor to come to give you a shot to calm you down. Then they took you upstairs and you didn't come down for like 3 days. They said you were sleeping" I'm really confused now I don't remember any of this.
I don't remember anything like that Mason.
"Can you tell me what you do remember?" I'd rather talk about this than the other thing, this doesn't feel scary. So, I tell him what I remember.
I remember going for a ride and we were having fun. And I remember walking into the kitchen with you. Then I remember sleeping, then waking up.
"What was the sleep like? Did you wake up sometimes?" I try to remember.
I had a lot of nightmares. I tried waking up, but I couldn't. I heard people talking and they sounded far away.