Sighing deeply, I nod. I don’t want to do it for two reasons. One, I know Amy will be hurt, and the second is I prefer my fucking in private, even though the sweet butts don’t care. Silky or any one of them would be all up for my cock, anytime, anywhere. It’s not as if they haven’t been fucked over the pool table many times before. Something’s got to get it through to Amy that I’ll never see her the way her teenage hormones want me to, to convince her I really am not into little girls.
Well, I’ve promised and the plan’s put into motion, I can’t stop this now, despite my misgivings that maybe I should have tried something gentler. Heart plays his part pretending they’ve run out of beer, and she enters the clubhouse to grab a few bottles just in time to see me thrusting my cock into the sweet butt.
Peering over my shoulder, I see her eyes widening in horror, then, already wiping tears from her eyes, she runs out.
I resist the impulse to run after her, and get off Silky, not into what I’m doing anymore.
[Drew coming up 28, Amy coming up 18]
Fuck. I can hear Heart’s voice from here. He sounds angry. Walking into the clubhouse I see I was wrong. He’s fucking furious.
“You are not going to Phoenix and that’s final. You’re staying here.” His hand hits the table.
“They’ve got a great nursing program, Dad. Look at the curriculum,” his daughter offers calmly.
“No.”
Thank fuck. Don’t want Amy or any of the kids for that matter moving off of the compound. Fuck knows what could happen to them out there.
Unseen by the disagreeing pair, I watch and listen to their altercation with interest, admiring that Amy’s trying to approach this reasonably, rather than making it a shouting match. But for all her patiently spoken words, I think with a smile, there’s no way she’s going to come out the winner. Heart won’t let her go. I smile to myself, she’s not going to get what she wants. Heart’s never going to allow her to move off of the compound and live over a hundred miles away where we’re not on hand to provide assistance should she get into trouble.
Uh uh. No way.
[Drew aged 28, Amy aged 18]
“I’ll fuckin’ miss you. Anything, anything you need darlin’, I’ll be there. Anyone gives you any trouble, you let me know.” Heart’s eyes glisten.
Amy’s leaving tomorrow, in the end getting her way, and has enrolled in a nursing program in Phoenix. She successfully wore her parents down, though it had taken some time to do it. Of course the threat that she’d just leave anyway persuaded them to give her independence. I know Heart’s hoping she discovers her mistake. All her life she’s been surrounded by friends and family, she’ll be lost on her own. But she’s intent on studying up in Phoenix.
Heart had even asked me to talk to her, but our relationship has soured, and she’s only been cold with me since she’d seen me months back with the sweet butt. It had worked, she’d stopped flirting with me. I’d lost the girl who saw me as boyfriend material, which was a decided plus, but I’d also lost my friend, that fun-loving easy-going girl who I’d enjoyed spending time with.
“Hey, Amy, I’ve got a laptop for you, and here’s a brand-new phone with everyone’s numbers programmed in.”
Hearing Mouse, I grin. Yes, we may have made certain both devices have the latest tracking software programmed into them.
She rolls her eyes as Heart continues rambling on about how he’ll come get her if she just says the word. “Dad, I’ll be fine. Mouse, thank you.”
I fucking hate it. Slamming my beer on the bar, I walk out.
The next morning I wander down to the auto-shop where Amy’s getting into Heart’s car. Marcia’s saying a tearful goodbye as she’s not going with them, staying behind with their other kids. I suspect it’s because she’ll lose it if she went and had to leave Amy alone in a strange place.
Well, I’ve done what I can, it’s up to her now. I’ve checked out every piece of information I could find about the dorms where she’ll be staying and making sure her route to the university won’t take her through any neighbourhoods she should avoid. I admit, I was looking for a security flaw or an inherent danger as an excuse that she shouldn’t go there, but no, she’d chosen well. I had nothing to give Heart to use to challenge her.
While she’s given warm hugs to everyone else, she hasn’t said one word of goodbye to me, let alone let me hold her for one final time. It’s up to me to make the approach. I walk to the passenger side of the car, place my hand on the roof and lean in through the open door, simply staring at her for a moment as I imprint the image of her on my mind. One final try to leave on good terms. “Goodbye, sweetheart. Remember you can always come home if you don’t get along on your own.”
She stares back, unsmiling. “I won’t be back, Wizard,” she says, prophetically, then determinedly turns to stare out of the front window.
I straighten my back and stand. Silently wishing her well, while conversely hoping she’ll soon come running back, admitting she was wrong.
From then to now…
Amy never returns. Or not for anything other than short visits. In between her semesters, she volunteers at the hospitals for experience she says, but I don’t think any of us are fooled. The compound is her home no longer and nothing here holds any particular attraction for her.
Me and her? Well, as the years pass, when she does come back, we gradually get into a better place, and can at least talk courteously to each other.
I concentrate on being the best member the MC has ever had, my hard work and dedication paying off when Drummer steps down as prez, and I move to the seat at the head of the table.
I’m Wizard, President of the Satan’s Devils MC. The Tucson chapter isn’t just a part of the club, it’s the mother chapter. Not only did I have to earn the trust of the local brothers, but the respect of all the members, officers and presidents of all our charters. It had been an uphill struggle but I’d succeeded.
Amy? Well, she’s made a new life in Phoenix. Like everyone, I was as proud as punch when she got her bachelors, then her masters, and has now become a registered nurse.
On the rare occasions she comes back home she appears happy, and while I prefer to think of her as the sweet little girl I took to the desert museum, she’s that no more. Whether it’s her profession, or just the natural progression of the years, there’s a new earthiness about her and her manner when she jokes with my brothers suggests she’s an innocent virgin no more.
Chapter One
Amy (Age 27)
“How are you feeling?” Xander looks at me sideways as he drives down the I-10 toward Tucson. We left Phoenix an hour and a half ago, so we’re getting close.
Trouble is, the nearer we get, the more nervous I’m feeling.
“I’m not sure I can do this.” I bite my lip.
“You don’t need to.” His face is tight. “We can still turn around and go home if you prefer.”
I don’t reply, while inside I want to jump at that option. Missing Christmas at the clubhouse would send out a message I don’t want sent.
“Look, your dad’s a good man from what you’ve told me about him, and your stepmom has always had your back. No one’s going to hold what happened against you. Don’t you think it would be a weight off your mind if you came clean and explained? What happened wasn’t your fault, Amy.” The last is a statement he’s made time and again, but that’s not how it feels to me, and not how my family would see it. On the other hand, if they do view it Xander’s way, that reaction would have implications.
There are some things you can say to your father, and some things you can’t. Especially when he’s a member of a one-percenter club. “If I did, Xander, whatever part he thought I’d played, the outcome would be the same. He’d want to sort it out for me.”
I think I hear him mumble, nothing wrong with that. But I might have misheard. I hope I have.
“Xander, I’ve only myself to blame—”
“No you have not,” he round
s on me before flicking his eyes back to the highway. “Never think that.”
I shrug. It was me who’d put myself in the position I had. It’s time to change the subject, it’s not as though we haven’t been having this discussion for the past three months. “Thank you for coming with me. I’m sure you’d have preferred to have spent Christmas with your own family.”
He reaches out his hand and rests it momentarily on my thigh. I feel the warmth which is removed before I can react. “You need me,” he replies, simply. “They don’t.”
“I don’t deserve you, Xander.”
But he’s silent and doesn’t reply.
We come up to the turning. “Here.” I point it out. “After that saguaro that looks like it’s waving its arm.” As a kid I always thought the ancient cactus was waving to welcome me home or say goodbye depending on whether I was coming or going. Somehow it had survived the wildfire that had swept down from the mountains, hell, it must be more than twenty years back. An event well remembered by my family, my twin brother and sister had been born in the midst of the flames and smoke. Baptised by fire as Dad often says.
He’d also add that it had given them their fiery composition, and he might have a point. I was the quiet one of the family, the obedient little girl. Jacob and Isabel, the complete opposite, had given Heart and Marcia more than one headache over the years. Hard to think they’re twenty-one now, legally able to drink. Where has the time gone? Dad and Marcia had been luckier with Alexis, my younger sister, nineteen now. She, more like myself, is quiet and thoughtful, possessing no desire for rebellion.
But I had rebelled, I remind myself. Though the decision had been forced upon me, it had turned out to be one of the best moves I’d ever made until three months ago.
“This must be it, now.” Xander’s been driving slowly up the track that the brothers work hard to maintain, but still seems to attract potholes like a plague. I wince in sympathy for the suspension of his expensive car, but all credit to him, he doesn’t say a thing.
“Show time,” I say, softly, a rolling feeling in my gut as the gates of the compound come into sight. “Pull up. The prospect doesn’t recognise us.” Getting out of the car, I raise my hand and waggle my fingers, knowing we’re expected, but I can’t recall having seen the man who’s on guard duty today before. But then, it’s been a long time since I last returned.
With a chin lift and cautious stare, the prospect comes to the gate.
“I’m Amy.”
He doesn’t reply, just presses a button and the big gates slide back on their rails. He waves us to a halt as we enter the compound. When I open my window, he steps to the driver’s side. “Cars have to park behind the auto-shop.”
I nod. Nothing’s changed since I’ve been gone, except a new man who doesn’t understand I was born on the compound and lived here while I was growing up. I indicate where Xander should go, then wait while he gets our bags, and stands easily holding one in each of his strong hands. I know there’s no point offering to carry my own.
It’s surprisingly quiet as we walk the couple of hundred yards up to the clubhouse. Xander looks around him. “It’s peaceful here,” he observes. “I’m surprised you ever wanted to leave.”
Sometimes, so am I. But I had ambitions and wanted to fulfil them, and I have—making a life for myself up in Phoenix. Of course, there was something else that had made it impossible to stay, but as the years have passed, I barely think of the reason anymore. When I do, it no longer seems important.
As we draw closer, I hear music flooding out from the clubhouse, and despite my misgivings at coming home, my lips curve as I hear the Christmas tunes I’ve heard every year since I was born. Christ, some of that music must be seventy years old now, but none of the more recent stuff can compete with the old favourites. If I’m not mistaken, I’ll find Peg’s in charge of the music tonight, and heaven help anyone who tries to take over the controls from him. Another sign things here don’t change. It’s me that’s coming back different. And broken.
I pause on the veranda, Xander takes my hand. “Deep breath, Amy, that’s right. Take another one. This is going to be fine.”
I do as he suggests, sucking air deep down into my lungs then exhaling out, then, I do it again. Well before it’s the truth, I tell him, “I’m ready.”
He pushes the door open and stands back, allowing me to precede him inside.
“Showtime,” I repeat under my breath.
When I burst in, a forced grin firmly in place on my face, everyone turns. Knowing what’s expected I make straight for the Christmas tree. “Tell me you haven’t done it yet?” I sound like a needy child.
“Of course not,” Sophie, the old VP’s wife rushes forward and is the first to give me a hug. “That’s your job, Amy.”
“Amy, baby.” Up steps my dad, Heart. “Fuckin’ glad to see you. Thought you weren’t going to make it.”
“Sorry, Dad, but it was work. We couldn’t come until later today. I had a shift…”
“Well you’re here now.” He brushes away my excuses and beams as he kisses my forehead. I notice his age is showing, his once blond hair lightening and thinning at the temples, but he keeps it just as long as ever. His face might be creased, but it’s still the familiar one of my dad. His eyes go to the man standing behind me and narrow slightly, as Sophie interrupts.
“Can we get this done first, then you can visit together? The kids are impatient to see the tree finished.”
The kids, including Olivia, now the new VP Hawk’s old lady, are all in their late teens or early to mid-twenties now. Though they might be grown, they’re standing around eagerly, just as they do, and have done, every year since they could walk. I notice Zoey and Zane rolling their eyes, as if trying to exclude themselves from Sophie’s definition. I suspect we’ll all always stay kids in our parents’ eyes.
Heart laughs, putting his arm around my stepmother as she eases her way past the assembled bikers and steps up alongside him. She shrugs off his touch to hug me tightly.
“You’re home,” she states, while her eyes give me a mother’s appraisal. I smile brightly and genuinely when she adds, “So get on and do your job.”
Twenty-two years ago, Dad had disappeared from the club. He’d returned with Marc by his side, and a snow globe Christmas ornament. It had been the first year we’d ever had a Christmas tree in the clubhouse—that was down to Sophie bringing her British traditions home. Seeing Dad’s eyes glisten as normal on this occasion, I know there must be some significance in that ornament, but I’d never asked exactly what. Just that as a child it was me who placed it as the last decoration on that first ever Satan’s Devils Christmas tree. From then on, adding the final fixing had always been down to me.
As I have in years past, I take the ornament out of my father’s hands, and carefully place it front and centre. While everyone claps and cheers, the snow globe slowly turns in a breeze that I didn’t realise was blowing, and I turn to see who’s opened the door, but no one has entered. It must have been my imagination.
“Yeah! Happy Christmas, everyone!” Wizard, the prez, bellows out. “Welcome home, Amy, and welcome…?”
“Xander,” I introduce him. Though I suspect Wiz already knows exactly who he is. They wouldn’t let anyone on the compound without him being fully investigated first. “This is Wizard,” I clarify to the man who’s now by my side.
“The prez.” Xander shakes his hand.
“And you’re the heart surgeon.” Wiz looks impressed.
Xander’s not a man for boasting and simply dismisses his many years of training with a short, “It’s just a job, man.”
“Hey, big Sis.” Jacob and Isabel approach, and it starts a procession of people all wanting to hug and greet me. The men stand back to let the girls approach first. There’s Eliza, Hilda, Maya, and Hope, probably easier to say who’s missing, and that would be Slick’s family who live in Pueblo, Faith, her mother Ella, and Jayden. Slick had died a few years back.
After the kids, the old ladies approach, and then the men start to come over.
The tension which immediately assails me is relieved a little when Xander puts his hand to the middle of my back, and before they can complete their approach, clears his throat and addresses my dad.
“I understand there’s a family meal later, can we get our bags dropped off and have a little time to freshen up? It’s been a tiring day and a long journey.”
Thank you, God. Or, rather, Xander.
“Sure. We’ve given you a suite, Amy, as everyone else is staying up at the house. Thought you’d like some space to yourselves.”
That sounds great, a place where I can unwind and drop my act. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Come on, we’ll take you up.” My stepmother’s giving me a scrutiny I’m not sure I like, she might not be my blood mother who I can’t even remember, but she’s had an uncanny way of being able to read me since she came into my life when I was three—or was it four? Young enough, I barely recall a time she wasn’t there. At her visual examination I start to wonder whether coming back for Christmas might have been a mistake. If Dad gets one whiff of what’s bothering me, I know he’ll go off half-cocked. Half-cocked? Fully loaded more like.
I realise being the daughter of a Satan’s Devil carries its own complications. They’re all protective men, one sniff of trouble and they want to head it off. Am I that good an actress that I can fool everyone that nothing’s wrong? I have to be. I can’t let them know. No one would be able to understand what had happened, and I don’t need anyone else to point out that I’d brought it on myself.
It’s a mild winter evening with just a slight chill in the air when Xander walks beside me following Dad and Marc past the blocs, each housing pairs of suites occupied by single brothers.
“You’re doing great,” Xander leans in, speaking quietly. “Just a few more minutes and you can relax.”
Amy's Santa: Satan's Devils MC Second Generation #1 Page 2