“Blake, take Cara back to my office, while I deal with this.”
He turned to the other students and dismissed them for the day.
“Your detentions will be taking place tomorrow instead. Now go home.”
We all left together, and I walked along beside Blake shaking and stumbling along, but I wouldn’t let him help me. Once we reached the classroom, I walked in and slumped down on the first desk I saw, putting my head down on the table.
Chapter Nine
After Effects
Blake
Seeing Cara lose her shit was something else. She was like a raging bull when we found them in the changing room. I wanted to talk to her. I hadn’t intended to kiss Klaire or take her out at all, but Marty had stumbled upon us. I needed to show him that I wasn’t into Cara like that and somehow, it’d grown arms and legs.
I watched as Cara deflated and put her head onto the desk. I wanted to say something to comfort her, but I was shit at stuff like that. So, I just sat down beside her and waited to see if she’d look up. Her gym bag was leaking water all over the desk. I picked it up, shoved it down on the floor and she grunted at me.
“Cara, are you okay?” I asked her in a low voice, and she lifted her head from the desk, staring at me for a beat, before she shrugged her shoulders and turned back to face the desk.
I reached over and touched her arm, about to speak to her again, when Mr. Dennis opened the door and stepped into the room. He closed the door with a snap and Cara shrugged my hand off as she sat up.
“Cara,” Mr. Dennis began in a low voice and she shrank back against the chair. Her shoulders were tense, and her jaw was set, as she stared up at him.
“I understand why you retaliated, but violence is not tolerated in our school. You know that. I’ve called your dad and we’ll discuss this more when he gets here.”
“Mr. Thompson, you are free to leave.”
I nodded and stood, walking slowly out of the door as Cara put her head back onto the desk. I wondered what would happen to her, but it wasn’t like I could stay. I’d been told to leave, so I had no choice. I took my cell out and checked the time, seeing that it was a little after four-thirty. Don wouldn’t be picking me up until after five, so I decided to go to the library and try composing a few songs.
The corridors were silent, and I wandered along slowly. It was eerie being in the school and walking through the empty corridors, but as I neared the library, I saw a few students milling around and I knew I wouldn’t be alone. Some of my football teammates were sitting at the tables and I gave them all a wave, as I walked purposefully towards the computer stations, setting my things down at the desk I’d used earlier.
My eyes scanned the room and I noticed Josh sitting with a few of the cheerleaders and two of our teammates, whose names I didn’t yet know. I stood and stared at him for a moment, wondering if I should go over and tell him what had happened with Cara, or just leave it. A voice spoke into my ear and I jerked forwards.
“He’s not into guys,” the voice said, and I turned to see a guy from the team standing behind me. His name began with a C. It was Chris or Christian - no Chase. His name was Chase.
“It’s not that. His sister was involved in some shit and I was…”
“Cara was? She okay?” he cut in and I could hear the panic in his voice. It was then that I’d remembered seeing a photograph of him in the trash earlier in the week.
He was Marty’s ex. He was that guy.
“She’s alright. She’s tough, but I was wondering if I should tell Josh…”
“Tell Josh what?” Josh asked from behind me and I turned around.
“It’s Cara. He said she was involved in some shit, but he hasn’t said what yet.” Chase told him.
I turned to face him, giving him my best fuck off look. He took the hint and walked away, but as he did, most of the cells in the room went off. Everyone took out their cells and I saw Josh’s eyes narrow as he took in the image on his screen of Cara searching for her clothes.
“You were there?” He hissed at me when the video ended, and I stepped back from him with my hands up.
“No. I arrived with the teacher when she was fighting back.”
Josh smirked and stepped back, dialing a number. After a nod at me, he turned and walked away out of the library. I slumped down at the desk and dug around in my bag, taking out my earbuds. I plugged them into my cell and called up some of the melodies I’d been working on. As I waited for the computer to load, I sent Ryder a message.
Me - Hey man, how’s it going?
I watched as the three dots appeared as he typed a response.
Ryder - Not bad. Auditioned last night. No-one has your talent. We’re fucked.
Me - That’s cause I’m awesome. You’ll never be able to replace me.
Ryder – Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of. How are you anyway?
Me - Fucked man. I met this chick and she’s a fireball. She’s blonde, with an amazing figure, but it’s fucking complicated.
Ryder- Isn’t it always with you? Why can’t you find someone you like, who’s uncomplicated?
Me - You know how I love a challenge.
Ryder - Yeah man. That you do. How’s your dad?
Me - He’s okay. I spoke to Ollie at lunch and the nurses said he’s doing okay for now.
Ryder - That’s good man. I gotta go, but I’ll call ya later.
Me - Righto. Catch ya
I pressed play on the melodies and listened to a few before I thought of the words for one. It was an upbeat type of song and we’d had it for a while, but I’d never had the right ones for it. I did now though, or at least I thought I did.
Last night we kissed under the stars.
Today I moved on with someone new.
I didn’t mean it.
I didn’t want it.
Can I take it back?
Change the past and fix my mistakes.
I didn’t want to have the give and take.
I just wanted to change the record.
And make a new life.
But how can you make a new life.
When the past has you in its grip.
And your choices are put on hold.
She was like a fireball.
Burning brightly through the sky.
Setting my heart alight.
And lighting up my dark.
I hurt her bad.
And I can’t take it back.
But baby, all I need is one more chance.
To show you how much I care.
And let myself be happier with you.
Last night we kissed under the stars.
Today I moved on with someone new.
I didn’t mean it.
I didn’t want it.
Can I take it back?
Change the past and fix my mistakes.
I didn’t want to have the give and take.
Baby I need you to forgive me.
I’m only human and I’ll make mistakes.
But I need you to let me make it right.
Fix us and make the guilt go.
Because I’ll stay right here, by you.
I’ll always be around.
I’ll be the knight, if you are the Princess.
I’ll be the moon, if you are the stars.
I’ll be the sun, if you are the sea.
Because you and me.
We are meant to be.
We are meant to be so much more.
And I want it all.
So, I’m asking, no I’m begging you, please.
Let me fix it because we are meant to be.
Last night we kissed under the stars.
Today I moved on with someone new.
I didn’t mean it.
I didn’t want it.
Can I take it back?
Change the past and fix my mistakes.
I didn’t want to have the give and take.
Didn’t want the give and take.
I finished, closed my
eyes, then leaned forward and calling up my emails. I emailed the lyrics to myself and sat back with a smile. I didn’t know if they worked, or if it even went well, but I knew that I’d accomplished something. I wanted to text Cara, but I didn’t have her number and her cell was smashed to pieces on the tiled floor of the girl’s, locker room. Don text to say he was running late so I spent the next hour mapping out my AP English paper and doing some trig equations for homework.
When it was finally time to go home, I left the library and bumped into Cara and Josh. Cara’s eyes were red-rimmed and I wondered what had happened to her. I opened my mouth to speak, when Josh shook his head and led Cara out into the car park, leaving me wondering what had happened to her to make her cry. A sick feeling rose in my gut, as I considered the fact that I’d probably played a part in what happened. If I hadn’t been stringing Klaire along, she probably wouldn’t have been so cruel to Cara, but then again, I thought, I don’t know any of them well enough to make that assumption. I followed them out into the parking lot and saw a much older version of Josh walking out beside Mr. Dennis. They didn’t see me, and I moved around the pillar until they passed me.
“Yes, I understand and I’m sure Cara does too.” The older man answered as he passed my hiding place.
“Well, I don’t want to suspend her in her senior year, but she shouldn’t have retaliated. I understand she was defending herself, however violence is against the honor code.” Mr. Dennis spoke sadly and took his glasses from his nose, wiping them on his sleeve.
The man who could only be Cara’s dad nodded and then spoke in a low voice.
“So, detention every night for the next three weeks? From four till five-thirty? And it will stay off her permanent record?”
“Yes. Both Klaire and Jerri’s parents have been informed and they are happy for the punishment. They feel that it’s fair, since she was defending herself. Mrs. Jackson and I agree that suspension will occur if anything like this happens again on school grounds.”
“Okay. Thank you again.”
He turned and walked towards a sleek, silver Mercedes that was parked rakishly against the curbside. He drove quickly away, and Mr. Daniels went inside, leaving me still half-hidden around the pillar. I stepped out as Don’s car pulled into the lot. I climbed in and he turned to face me.
“How was school?” His eyes darted around, and I wondered where Marty was.
“Fine,” I answered as he glanced around for him.
“And Marty?” his voice was low and we both watched as Marty left the school with a few others. They were all arty types and I realized that I still didn’t know much about him. I wondered where he’d been after school for all these weeks.
Don didn’t usually pick us up, my mom did and even though both Marty and I could drive, neither of us were allowed a car, which annoyed me because I had a car back in Georgia. I had a Toyota Scenic back at my grandparents’ house, because I wasn’t allowed to bring it with me.
“He was with Cara most of the day.” I answered, with my thoughts elsewhere, already tired of the deal I’d made with Don all those weeks ago to spy.
Don met my gaze in the mirror and nodded as Marty, seeing the car, turned, and rushed towards us. He climbed into the front seat and sat as far as possible from his father. They didn’t speak the whole way back and as soon as Don parked the car, he took off and ran into the house. He didn’t say goodbye and I saw Don’s eyes follow his sons retreating frame. He walked slowly into the house and I followed slowly after. My mom met us inside the door, and I could see something in her expression was off. She nodded at Don and then turned back to face me.
“Blake, can you come with me please?”
Her voice was soft. Softer than I’d heard it since she’d told me she was divorcing my dad. Her voice had a quiver in it, and I couldn’t make my legs move to follow her. It was like wadding through cement, as I moved after her into the sitting room. She sat down on one couch and Don sat on the other across the room. I’d not really been this in the room, and I barely noticed my surroundings. I sat down because I had a ball of dread sitting in my stomach, which worsened as my mom patted the sofa beside her. I glanced around helplessly, looking for an escape, but there was no way out.
“Sit down, Blake.” My mom said and I sat right on the edge of the sofa. I stared at my hands and she leaned over to speak to me, but I didn’t want to meet her eyes.
“Blake, honey, Ollie called me twenty minutes ago.”
Her words were soft, and I turned to look at her. Her eyes were filled with tears. Crocodile tears, I thought, but I stared at her as her mouth moved.
“What mom?” I asked and she moved closer, putting her hand gently onto my shoulder, before she spoke again.
“I’m sorry, Blake. Your dad passed away today, a little over an hour ago.”
I shook my head.
“No. Mom. He can’t have. I spoke to him yesterday.”
My whole body shook and agony like I’ve never known, shot through me. I wanted to shake her hand off and run from the room, as my world crumbled around my ears.
“I’m so sorry baby, but he’s gone.”
Her words were hollow, and I wanted to scream at her, to yell at her and tell her how untrue they were, but I knew she was telling the truth and it tore my heart apart. I shook my head again as tears filled my eyes and I tried to speak around the lump in my throat.
“How? Why?” I croaked as tears ran unchecked down my cheeks.
It was all I could manage to choke out before I crumpled. My dad. My amazing dad, who supported me, taught me to play the guitar and encouraged me to play as often as I could: My dad who came to all my games and who sent me away to live with my mom, so I wouldn’t see him deteriorate.
I lay on the sofa and sobbed onto mom’s lap while she sat with me, stroking my hair with tears dripping from her eyes. My pain made my anger abate and after a few moments, Don came over, put his hand on mom’s shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. He then left the room and she held me while I cried myself out. Once I’d managed to get myself under control, I sat up and she gave me a gentle hug.
“I’m so sorry, Blake.” She muttered softly as she held me, and I wanted to push her away. This was her fault, all her fault.
She gave me a soft kiss to the forehead and then stood, leaving me alone in the sitting room. I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to be somewhere, anywhere else. I stood up and began pacing. My body was thrumming with energy and suddenly I was furious with my mom. I could have been there. I could have held his hand and said goodbye if she hadn’t dragged me across the country, because she needed to change her life. I had to get out of the house before I started hitting things.
I sprinted upstairs.
Once I was inside my room, I kicked off my shoes and shoved my jeans roughly off. I pulled my shirt over my head and grabbed a loose, football jersey and a pair of joggers from my dresser. I dressed quickly, shoving my feet into sneakers, before I took off. I sprinted down the stairs, passing Marty on the way and he glared at me, but I didn’t care. I was so focused on getting out, that I didn’t care about how he looked at me.
All I wanted was to outrun the ache in my chest. I took off towards the woods and sprinted into them. I reached the clearing before my energy left me and I collapsed onto the ground, breaking down into renewed sobs. For a few minutes, I sat with my hands wrapped around my knees, breaking my heart. I didn’t hear her approach. I didn’t know anyone was out there with me, but I felt her gentle touch and I looked up to see her kneeling beside me.
My eyes were still watering as I took her shape in, I didn’t resist as Cara pulled me gently into her arms. Her touch calmed me a little and I soaked in the comfort she was willing to offer me. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was for being such a dick, but the words wouldn’t come.
“Blake are you okay?” she asked gently, and I shook my head, because I wasn’t. I really fucking wasn’t.
Chapter Ten
Repercussions<
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Cara
I’d gone for a run after having a conversation with my dad and Josh. Neither were angry at me. Josh was proud of me and my dad, although he wouldn’t say it, didn’t think I’d done anything wrong.
Once the conversation was over and my dad had told me I would have a new cell in a few days, I decided to go for a run. I knew I probably shouldn’t, but I needed to work off my fury somehow, I’d ended up with a three-week detention sentence, because that stupid skank had tried to bully me.
Although, she was ordered by Mr. Dennis to replace each of my textbooks. I was fuming and angry with the school for punishing me for defending myself. If I’d let them beat me, then they’d probably have offered me more protection. I didn’t need to change, but I needed a water bottle, so I stopped in the kitchen and Josh was on a call. He was very shifty about it and stopped speaking as soon as he saw me. He smirked at me and left the kitchen by the backstairs. I grabbed a water bottle and moved towards the office, popping my head in as my dad made a call.
“I’m going for a run,” I told him, and he nodded to show he’d heard me.
I walked outside to the balmy evening and stretched out my legs. I crossed the yard slowly and started a gentle jog into the woods. I ran to the five-mile mark and then began running back, but on my way back, I heard a sound that stopped me in my tracks. It sounded like someone was hurting. I jogged to the clearing and saw Blake doubled over on the ground. His arms were wrapped around his knees and his pain was evident in the cries I could hear. His eyes were closed, and he didn’t stir as I approached him.
“Blake,” I said in a low voice, but he didn’t answer, so I dropped to my knees and reached out slowly to touch his arm. He looked at me and I could see the agony in his expression. Something had devastated this beautiful, complicated boy.
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