“No. No. You’re not. You need to crawl back into whatever fucking hole you crawled out of. This tour is too important to have a jumped-up little mistake like you mess it up.”
My cruel words clearly hurt her, but even though a tear fell from her eye, she held my gaze and glared up at me.
“I’m going nowhere. I need this job and need to do this tour for my career, if you don’t like it, that’s too damn fucking bad.”
Her breaths caused her tits to push against my chest and I had to fight myself to control my visceral reaction to her presence and her words. She took a step back and gave me a glacial look, before she spun around and stormed back through the door. Leaving me breathing hard and fighting with my body, as I tried to tell my cock and my hammering heart, that the girl it wanted, the girl who’d just gone toe to toe with me, it wasn’t getting. Fuck, this was going to be harder than I thought. I needed a fucking drink, like right now.
Chapter Twenty-Four
What A Dick
Cara
Wow, just fucking wow, was all I thought as I stormed away from Blake. What a complete and utter dick. All the years I’d dreamed of running into him again and not once did I ever consider that he’d used me or wouldn’t want to even speak to me. He called me a fucking mistake and that was what stung the most. His chemistry was still undeniable, and his presence was all consuming, but he was a complete and utter dickhead.
Imagine telling me after all these years, that he didn’t know who I was and threatening my job, because I tried to speak to him. Ugh, I was so over this day already. Crystal had basically told me Blake was hers for the taking, while we’d been talking. I watched in amusement as she sidled up beside him and tried to get him to talk to her, but he’d totally ignored her.
My ears were still ringing with the confrontation with him. If I was honest with myself, my thong was a little damp, because fuck me sideways, he was an enigma. When he stood right in my space, I knew he expected me to back down, but I would never back down from him. He clearly had too many yes men around him, but I wasn’t like that and if I didn’t like something, I’d say. Saying how I felt was part of the reason I didn’t make friends easily and I wasn’t going to change for him.
“Cara,” Drew called as I walked out in the rehearsal space and I headed over towards him, Janie, and Kerr as they all stood talking.
“Janie is going to give you a list of tour stops and get your address details to pick you up on Saturday, you’ll need to be here tomorrow; Laurie will be in for the last time to give you a rundown of what she’s organized.” His voice was firm, and he didn’t look surprised to see me with color in my cheeks. My hands were shaking after the confrontation with Blake and Drew gave me a pitied glance.
“Cara. Blake is… well, he’s a bit of a…”
“A bit of a what?” Blake’s voice came from behind me and my back stiffened as he stepped closer. I could feel his heat through my clothes and my body began to respond, even though he’d hurt me. “Perfectionist, sex god, sex symbol…” He started rhyming off and everyone stared at him, until Kerr cut him off.
“Arsehole, dickhead, douchebag. Should I continue?” He countered with an evil grin. Blake brushed by me and moved back towards the stage, leaving me shaking so hard, a gentle breeze would have knocked me on my ass.
“Don’t worry about him. He’s like that with everyone. He finds it hard to trust people.” Kerr muttered and then jogged over to join his bandmates.
“Okay, where were we? Ah yes, so you’ll meet Laurie tomorrow and she’ll help you prep for the tour and give you advice and things about how to handle this bunch on the road.” He stopped speaking and glanced over my shoulder.
“Okay,” I told him, shaking off the Blake effect as Drew stepped closer to me, speaking in a low voice.
“Laurie did a lot of work on this tour, but she was fired for sleeping with Ryder. She’s coming in tomorrow to teach you the ropes, so she gets her severance package. You’ll need to be here for nine am, so Ross will pick you up in the morning at seven forty-five. He’ll also take you home today.”
We all turned and watched as the band laughed and joked on the stage. Kerr caught my eye and gave me a wary glance and I attempted to smile at him. It wasn’t my usual smile. It wasn’t even close, but Blake’s reaction had thrown me, and I couldn’t find it in me to be overly friendly with him. Janie stepped forwards and began speaking to me in a hurried whisper.
“Now for the tour, just pack light. We’ll have the roadies do your laundry every few days and for footwear, I’d bring boots and sneakers only. Bring your own toiletries and also bring some cash because you won’t be able to go to many ATM’s.”
I swallowed and gave her a terse nod as Blake walked back up to us, with Kerr at his side. He kept his back to me and ignored me, but I didn’t care. I wondered how much cash I’d need. I only had twelve hundred dollars in my account, and I had my cell contract and my rent to pay, which would leave me with about five hundred dollars.
Blake asked Drew something and I turned to Janie, trying to tune him out and ask my question in a low voice, but it didn’t quite work out that way.
“How much …” I began and stopped when every eye glanced towards me, including Blake’s. He’d taken off his sunglasses while speaking to Drew and I saw his eyes were red-rimmed and tired. They were also colder than I remembered.
I gave my head a shake and asked the question I needed answering.
“How much cash should I bring?” I asked Janie, trying to ignore Blake, Kerr, and Drew as they all watched me.
“No more than a few hundred dollars. Once we are on tour the opportunities to spend your cash are limited, but you’ll need cash for the laundromats, for food on non-tour days and for drinks on after party nights.”
I tensed up as I thought about how I could get another five hundred dollars, so I could keep money in my account. I didn’t have that kind of money spare and I knew I could dip into my trust fund, but I’d told my parents I didn’t want it yet, so they had the card and things for it at home. Blakes eyes narrowed again and he turned around to speak to Drew in a low voice. Whatever he said had Drew turn to me and he stared hard at me, as I stood beside Janie.
“Cara, Blake here tells me you propositioned him outside.”
My eyes narrowed on Blake and my shoulders squared, as I stared daggers at him.
“I did not. I take my job seriously and I wouldn’t risk it for anyone, not even a sex god like him.” I hissed sarcastically and Drew threw his head back and chuckled. Kerr joined in, but Blake crossed his arms over his chest and his lips narrowed to a thin line.
“Fine. I believe you.” Drew smirked at me as I stood mutinously before him. He turned to the guys and gave them a sharp look.
“Right you two get back up there and Blake, try to get your head outta your ass this time. Hangover’s are no excuse for shit playing.”
Blake took off for the stage and Kerr followed him a moment after, before Drew turned back to me and gave me a small smile.
“They act like overgrown teenagers at times.”
He then came over, clapped me on the shoulder gently and stood beside me, watching the band set up. We stood in silence for a bit as we listened to them play, but they were all over the place and I watched as Drew’s eyes narrowed. I wondered if they were just like this because it was rehearsal, but I watched as Ryder walked over and furiously spoke into Blake’s ear. He looked up and right at me for a second, before he turned to his bandmate and said something to him. I didn’t know what was going on, but from Ryder’s reaction, it was as though a spark went off. Drew gave a sigh and turned to me.
“You can go now, unless you have any questions?”
His eyes never left the band, so I thanked him and told him I was all good.
“Okay, Ross will drive you home. Remember to be ready for seven forty-five. Don’t be late.”
He waved Yani over, told him I was leaving, and he began to walk towards the band, as
Yani stood beside me, watching for a beat before he turned to me and spoke.
“Okay, Cara, I’ll walk you out and we can drop you home.”
We left together and my feet burned. I hadn’t planned on being up on my feet for so long, or I would have worn different shoes. Once we reached the car, He opened the back and I climbed in, sitting on the passenger side, as Yani walked towards the front of the car. He didn’t get in though, and I wondered what was happening, but he was out of my line of sight. So, I clipped my belt in and took out my cell, checking to see if I had any messages, but there wasn’t anyone who’d really message me during the day. I sighed and leaned against the back of the seat, as I waited for Ross, who I assumed was the driver, and Yani to get in.
My head was still achy from the hangover and my run in with Blake, so I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, opening them when the door beside me opened. My head turned and I saw Blake standing there, staring furiously at me. He slammed the door closed and marched around the car, opening the door on the other side, and climbing in.
He didn’t look, or even acknowledge me but stared straight ahead, with a ticking in his jaw as Yani and Ross climbed into the car. He was breathing fast and anger rolled off him in waves. I wanted to ask him if he was okay, but I knew it was none of my business. Ross asked for my address and I told him that he didn’t need to drive me all the way home, but he insisted.
The drive through Manhattan was silent and when we reached my street, I saw Blake glance around for the first time. He didn’t say a word as we stopped, I climbed from the car and he looked completely uninterested, as he stared straight ahead of me.
“See you in the morning, Ms. Daniels.” Yani called and I gave him a small wave over my shoulder, as I carried my purse into my apartment.
Once I was inside, I quickly locked the door and leaned against it breathing hard. I kicked off my shoes and cooled my burning feet on the tiled floor. My heart was racing, and it wasn’t because of the stairs I’d just climbed. It was Blake. It was his non-reaction, his anger and hatred towards me. I never thought the guy I gave my virginity to, would turn out to hate me so much and try to ruin my career, before it had even started.
I banged my head against the door, jumping in surprise when it banged back. I still had my purse in my hand, so I quickly put it down as I turned to open the door. My mouth dropped open in surprise when I saw Blake standing there. He shoved my cell carelessly into my hand and turned to walk away from me.
“What happened to you?” I wondered and he froze, turning back to face me.
Oops, I guess I didn’t ask that in my head. For a moment, he just stared at me, then he shrugged and spun around, jogging down the stairs and out of the door. I closed the door to my apartment and wanted to bang my face against it, but I was worried that it would bang back again.
I walked into the small sitting area and flopped down onto the sofa. I picked up the book I’d been reading, but my eyes couldn’t concentrate on the words. So, I decided to get changed and make some notes up about what being a tour publicist entailed and then I’d call Beth.
I had to call someone, but I couldn’t say who I was touring with or where we were going, so I wasn’t sure how to ask her to keep an eye on my apartment. I sat for a while making notes, then got up and made myself a grilled cheese sandwich with the last of my bread. As I sat on the bed eating it, I decided to message Marty. He’d gone to Harvard and had graduated with his pre-law degree. He was taking a gap year, then coming back to go to school and had left for Paris two days after I arrived in Manhattan.
We’d spent one of the nights at his place, eating pizza, while he filled me in on all the drama with his friends. His boyfriend Tristian, was a man from Texas, who came from an uber Christian family. They had disowned him when he’d told them he was gay. His brother was trying to convince Tristian to come back to go to a demon removal sermon, that would apparently, shake the gay right out of him.
I thought back to the night with the pizza, how Tristian came in and was so shy around me. He was sweet, kind and I liked him because he made Marty smile and it was nice to see him so happy. Don and Lucille hadn’t really spoken to him after he’d told them at graduation that he was still gay, quelle surprise and was taking a gap year to do some soul searching. Don had been furious, and Lucille had apparently cried, but Marty didn’t need their money, not anymore.
The moment he turned twenty-one, his mom’s solicitor had been in touch and told Marty that his mom had set up a trust fund for him, with three million in it for when he was older. The only caveat was that it would come in stages. Five hundred thousand when he was twenty-one, five hundred thousand when he was twenty-five and the remainder, when he turned thirty.
Marty did however tell me that Blake was supportive and that he’d apologized for being so awful to him when they were teenagers. He went to some of Blake’s concerts over the years with his dad and Lucille, but he told me that Lucille didn’t approve of her son’s fame, or his career choice. She hated that he wouldn’t listen to her. I missed him loads and I leaned back on the bed as I pondered what to text him. I decided to just ask how he was and quickly typed out a message:
Cara - Hey, babe, how are you? I miss you so much. Life in New York is no fun without you.
He didn’t reply right away and I sat staring at my cell, before deciding to go shopping for some tour essentials. I also needed a new duffel bag because my last one split when I was moving in. I needed to write out a list of things I would need to take with me, then I wouldn’t spend any money, unnecessarily. If I could get most of it in the dollar store, then that would be great. As I wrote my list out, I pondered calling my mom and dad, asking them to transfer me some more cash, but they’d ask what I needed it for. I didn’t know how they’d react to me going on tour with Blake, so I held back.
I was in the middle of writing shampoo, when there was a quick knock at my door. My heart raced because I wasn’t expecting anyone, and the guy upstairs was a super-creep, who watched me as I passed him on the stairs. I tried to ignore it, but it went again, so I had to answer it. I walked towards the door, scooping up a rolling pin, I’d never used from the utensil jar on the island in the kitchen, as I made my way slowly towards the door. My fingers shook as I unlocked it and opened it a crack. I stood for a moment and just stared, as my mouth dropped open in surprise, when I saw who was standing on the other side of the door.
“Hey,” he said in a low, sexy voice and my legs shook under me.
“Blake, what are you doing here?” I asked him in complete shock, and he stepped towards me.
“I came to talk to you. I need to explain and fuck …” He muttered as he ran his fingers over his face.
“Can I come in please?” he asked in a small voice and I opened the door fully, stepping aside to let him in.
“Thanks,” he whispered as he brushed by me.
“This is where you live?” He asked as I closed the door and I saw his eyes take in the faded walls and small space.
“Yeah, this is my home.” He turned to face me and lifted his sunglasses up, taking them and his cap off.
“Can we sit?” he muttered, gesturing to the small loveseat that was as hard as a rock.
I nodded and he walked over and folded himself down gracefully. I moved beside him, conscious of the fact I had only faded ripped jeans on and a tight green tee, that clung to my breasts. I sat down beside him, and our thighs touched in the non-existent space between us. He leaned forwards and wrapped his hands around his knees without a word and I leaned back and waited for him to speak.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Making Amends
Blake
When I got back to our hotel and went straight up to my suite, I began pacing around the room. My body was filled with guilt from rehearsal and nervous energy, but I couldn’t get the image of Cara in her red dress out of my head.
My mind showed me all the things I still wanted to do to her, and I strode around the room
for a while, before deciding to jump in for a quick shower. I turned the water temperature up high and jumped under the scalding hot jets.
I watched as red welts appeared on my skin, but it was enough to distract me from the fact that I’d just seen her after five whole, fucking years. I never went back to Idaho, unless it was on tour and even then, I never left Boise. I wanted to, but I didn’t want to explain to the guys where I was going or why, so I never did.
I closed my eyes, pictured her luscious lips and soft skin under my hand and my cock sprung to life. I ran my hand along it, imagining it was her fingers dancing along it had me squirming and when I gripped my cock and gave a squeeze, I was picturing her round lips sucking on it.
My fist pumped harder and faster, I pictured bending her over the railing and flipping her red dress up, as I thrust into her from behind. I remembered how her breasts felt against my chest, as I ran my thumb over the head, spreading the moisture and I thought of how they’d feel in my hands as I fucked her hard from behind. My breathing sped as the image burned so brightly in my mind, I could almost taste it, taste her. I thrust my hips forwards, pumping harder and faster, feeling the tingle starting at the bottom of my spine, my balls tightened and cum shot out, coating my hand and the tiled wall that I was leaning against.
I quickly cleaned the wall with the shower head and washed myself. Before getting out and pulling on a pair of dark denims, a loose, black tee, and a baseball sweater. My legs bounced as I sat on the sofa in the suite, and I decided to go out for a walk. Normally I’d call Yani, Dave or someone else on our security team to go with me, but I wanted to clear my head without explaining why it was such a mess in the first place.
As I pulled on some socks, I thought about texting Cara from my old cell, but what the fuck could I even say to her? I played it off like I didn’t remember her, but her last words, “What’s happened to you?” were stuck in my head on repeat. I didn’t know when I became so cynical or treated girls with such disrespect, but I knew I had to apologize somehow to her. I quickly stuck my feet into my favorite sneakers, grabbed my baseball cap and sunglasses as I moved towards the door.
Nothing but The Sheets Page 21