by Jaclyn Quinn
When all he was met with was snoring that was growing increasingly louder, Avery hung his head. He ran a hand over his face and chuckled. “Well, that’s just great.” What else could he do in this moment except laugh? Ryder was just lucky he wasn’t some kind of psycho or thief.
Avery took Ryder’s shoes off, followed by his jeans, but pulled his underwear up over his now softening cock. There was no way he was coherent enough to move Ryder all the way onto the mattress, so that was going to have to do.
He looked back one more time at the bed in the corner of the room and the tattooed man passed out on top of it. Shame, he thought. Could have been hot as hell.
Avery replayed that night over a year and a half ago as he lay in bed. Sometimes he wished he didn’t remember so much when he was drunk, because that empty feeling came rushing back. He’d been looking for an escape that night, but all he’d gotten was a taste of a man who didn’t reciprocate and a hell of a hangover. Logically, he knew Ryder hadn’t done it on purpose. He even knew that was the chance you took with a drunken hookup.
Avery had gone back to that bar a month after the night he’d met Ryder. When he saw Ryder sitting at the bar with a guy Avery still didn’t know, he made quick eye contact…but Ryder continued his conversation with the guy he was with, no acknowledgment on his face. And when Avery sat down on the stool next to Ryder, with Ryder’s back to him, he’d heard all about Ryder’s need to nail it and bail it.
At the time, Avery laughed it off. But when Avery saw Ryder in the hospital that day a year ago—a day that absolutely tore Avery apart—he’d been caught off guard. Ryder had been the least of his concerns that day, though. Avery had just lost his best friends, and his heart had been absolutely broken.
The last thing he’d needed was Ryder hitting on him like he’d never fucking met him before. So, in the beginning, yeah, Avery had been mad as hell. But over the last year, the flirting that had pissed Avery off became more of a thing between them. A habit, for lack of a better word. And, strange as it was, it was something Avery looked forward to every time he saw Ryder. Ryder would drive him crazy with sexual innuendo and banter, and Avery would drive Ryder equally as crazy shooting him down.
But things were changing. He swore he’d never be in this place with Ryder again, but the man Avery had seen over the last couple of days had his full attention now. He had no idea what Ryder had done to him in a matter of days, but Avery was realizing his perception of the man was skewed. Ryder went so much deeper than he allowed anyone to see, but for brief moments in the last couple of days, Avery had gotten glimpses of another side of Ryder.
And now he was so damn intrigued.
For the first time in who knew how long, Ryder was off his game, feeling ridiculously awkward around Avery tonight.
Like they both had promised Chris and Nina, they were there for dinner. He was surprised to see Nina hadn’t invited Novak and Eli, but apparently, Chris had been with the boys all day—and it didn’t quite go as smoothly as they’d all hoped. Chris had barely spoken to the kids, choosing instead to sit in the corner of the living room and draw. He hadn’t really talked to Nina and Stan either, which shocked Ryder. Those people could bring anyone out of their shell.
But Ryder had a feeling that the visit from Chris’s caseworker, JoAnn, was what truly had Chris closing off. DCPP had gotten copies of Chris’s parents’ death certificates but hadn’t been able to locate any other family yet. Shocker. It had only been twenty-four hours, but Ryder knew that had to have felt like an eternity to Chris. Especially when he’d spent the last day in the home of strangers.
The second Chris had seen Ryder come through the door, though, his face had lit up and the anxiety had eased. Which was… Well, it was so damn weird in the best possible way. Ryder still didn’t quite understand why Chris was comfortable with him, of all people.
…nobody ever paid any attention to me but you.
He guessed they were kindred spirits, of sorts. If Ryder could change that, make it so Chris didn’t know the loneliness that Ryder knew, he would in a heartbeat.
Avery had apparently been on the phone all morning trying to put together a service on Friday for Chris’s grandma. Chris needed some closure, and Ryder wasn’t surprised that Avery would give him that. There was also a chance it would draw unknown family. In the back of Ryder’s mind, he was afraid something like that would happen, because it would alert DCPP that there was family—but they would still be strangers to Chris.
But Ryder could count on Nina and Stan to go. Jake and Eli said they’d also go, even though they’d never even met the woman. Chris needed a support system right now, and damned if this family wouldn’t all pull together. Somehow, Ryder knew that, even though he felt like he was still learning how a family was supposed to be. Over the last few years, he’d grown used to actually having people he could count on; Avery, being one of them.
“Are you all ready for school, Chris?” Avery asked. It was clear Avery was feeling just as awkward as Ryder because they’d barely made eye contact with each other all night.
Chris shrugged, pushing the little yellow kernels of corn around his plate. He hadn’t even taken a bite, and if Ryder had to guess from experience, he’d say the kid still wasn’t sure what to make of this place he was in. He had to be going through hell right now, and the one person he’d always been able to count on was gone.
“I talked to the school today,” Nina said, her voice gentle. “You’re all set to start next week when the boys do. It’s a shame you’re in between their grades and won’t be in the same classes. You’ll be in the same school, though.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes downcast. As many times as Ryder had seen the kid alone on the front stoop of their apartment building, wondering if Chris was lonely, he’d never seen him this unhappy. Ryder pushed down the thought that this had all been a mistake and reminded himself that Chris just needed time.
“Jake mentioned that they’re taking the boys to Great Adventure on Sunday as sort of a last hoorah before school starts.” Stan watched Chris, probably for some sort of a reaction, but Chris still kept his head down miserably. “They said you’re more than welcome to go with them.”
Just the fact that Ryder’s friends had reached out to Chris like that made Ryder smile. When Chris still didn’t respond, Ryder felt like he had to do something. “And they didn’t ask me?” Ryder put his fork down, furrowed his brows, and pulled his phone out. “Sorry, Nina. I know no phones at the table, but Novak is in trouble.” Ryder shot off a quick text. When it pinged with a notification, he smiled then tucked his phone back in his pocket. “That’s more like it. I love Great Adventure.” He looked at Chris. “You ever been?” He already assumed Chris hadn’t, but the last thing he wanted to do was treat Chris differently. One thing he absolutely hated was when people assumed things about him. He wouldn’t do that to Chris.
Chris was showing a little more interest now as he looked at Ryder. “No.”
“Oh, then you should come with us, man. There’s this Batman ride that makes my stomach drop.” Ryder felt all eyes on him, especially Avery’s, but he ignored them and kept going. “They have a ton of rides like that. Oh, and there are a lot of arcade games and cotton candy as big as Avery’s head.” Ryder leaned toward Chris and put his hand up to his mouth like he didn’t want Avery to hear. “It’s pretty big, just sayin’.”
“Hey!” Avery feigned offense but laughed, anyway.
But when Chris cracked a smile and let out a small laugh—man, it was really fucking cool being the one who could make him do that. The kid gave another small shrug. “Well, if you’re going, maybe I’ll go too.”
“Heck, yeah, I’m going.” Ryder leaned back, rubbing his stomach. “This belly needs some funnel cake.” His eyes caught Avery’s across the table, and there was that look again. The same look he’d given him several times over the last few days. He was trying to figure Ryder out. Hell, Ryder didn’t even know what the h
ell he was doing; he was purely riding on instinct here.
“I’ll go,” Avery said, and Ryder snorted.
“You’re gonna go on rollercoasters and eat junk food? This, I need to see.” Ryder gave a challenging smirk, and Avery’s expression—yup, there it is. Challenge accepted.
“I love rollercoasters. Never know what’s going to happen next. You think it’ll turn one way then, out of the blue, you’re whipped in another direction. One you weren’t expecting.” Avery continued to stare, and as much as Ryder tried not to, he was the first one to look away. Damn, why does it feel like he’s talking about something else?
“Change is good. Keeps you on your toes,” Ryder mumbled, absently turning his glass in a circle, feeling like he was under a microscope all of a sudden.
“Been a long time since I’ve been on one, though,” Avery added, and Ryder looked back up at him. It may have been the first time Ryder had ever seen Avery vulnerable. “We’ll have to start out slow.”
Jesus, Avery. Are you saying what I think you’re saying? And if he was, how the hell was Ryder supposed to respond to that? Ryder didn’t do relationships…in the past. But he’d be a fucking liar if he said this was the same as all those hookups. Avery was different than anybody Ryder had ever wanted.
Ryder shrugged as if this whole strange conversation wasn’t making his pulse beat harder. “We can start out however you want.” As soon as Ryder said that, panic raced through him. What the hell had he just agreed to? Was this really some code they were speaking in, or was Avery actually talking about fucking rollercoasters? Because last night Ryder had been ready to hand himself over on a fucking platter—and Avery had left. He pushed down the confusion he still felt about it. Yeah, he must have fucked up that night the first time they’d met, but it couldn’t have been that bad or Avery wouldn’t talk to him at all. Right?
Ryder suddenly realized the rest of the table was eerily quiet. He chanced a glance at Nina and felt his skin flush. Jesus, the woman practically had hearts in her eyes and a warm smile lit up her face. She looked over at Avery, who was now shifting nervously in his seat, and then back at Ryder. He cocked an eyebrow. What are you up to, woman?
“You have no idea how happy that would make me!” She quickly cleared her throat and calmed down, schooling her features as she took a casual sip of iced tea. When she set the glass back down, she said, “Rollercoasters. Mhmm. That’s what I meant.” She pointed a finger back and forth between Ryder and Avery. “You two should definitely give that rollercoaster a try.”
Ryder couldn’t help himself; he barked out a laugh that was quickly joined in by Avery. This woman was a freaking riot and so not subtle. Although, he guessed he could say the same for him and Avery if she’d picked up on all that.
Chris was looking back and forth between Avery and Ryder in confusion. Shit, Ryder hoped the kid didn’t get any of that. Who the hell knew how he would feel about it? It’s not like Ryder hadn’t had people of both genders over in the months he’d lived above Chris, but they’d never stayed the night. Usually, they’d come to his place late and leave a few hours later. Suddenly, Ryder truly hoped Chris hadn’t picked up on his extracurricular activities, as if he was supposed to set some kind of example for the kid. Which was completely ridiculous. He wasn’t responsible for him in any way.
Still, when Ryder caught the innocent question in Chris’s eyes, he somehow wanted to be a better person. And what the hell was that about?
“Do you think…?” Chris’s small voice trailed off, and he looked down at his lap. “Do you think Nick and Dylan would be okay if I go? I mean, we’re not friends or anything.”
Jesus, is this kid trying to tear my damn heart out?
It was Avery who answered first. “They’d absolutely be okay if you went, and there’s no reason you can’t be friends.”
“And you’re both gonna go, too?” he asked, lifting his face, and talk about vulnerable. Ryder could only imagine the turmoil going on in his head.
“Yes, Ryder and I will both be there,” Avery assured him.
“Do you think I’ll still be here by Sunday? What if Gram was wrong, and I have family I didn’t know about and they come to take me away?” His bottom lip quivered, but he didn’t shed a tear. Damn, he was so brave.
A hush fell over the room, but Nina was quick to fill the silence. “Let’s just take it one day at a time, okay, honey?”
He stared at her, and at first, Ryder thought he was still going to say no. But all Chris did was simply nod his head, and finally—finally—he took a bite of his dinner.
Avery stayed downstairs when Ryder went up to Chris’s room so Chris could show him his latest drawing. They had a connection that Avery wasn’t even sure Ryder knew or understood. But like Avery had been learning over the last few days, Ryder was a better man than he allowed people to see.
Avery wasn’t innocent; he’d assumed things about Ryder that probably weren’t fair, but what else did the man expect? Wrong opinions were most often based on skewed information. Ryder only let people know two things about him: he had a busy sex life and a wicked sense of humor. Still, Avery couldn’t deny that he’d seen hints of Ryder’s other qualities over the last year, and he’d chosen to ignore them. Falling for someone who wouldn’t potentially want the same things Avery was looking for was foolish.
He’d let his dick do the talking the night they’d first met, and that hadn’t worked out. He needed to have more self-control this time around, or…
We can start however you want.
What the hell did that mean? What started out as a joke quickly snowballed into Avery implying he’d be up for trying more and Ryder somehow accepting? Is that what had happened? Because Nina sure as hell thought it had. Avery chuckled as he brought the last of the dishes to the sink.
“What’s so funny?” Nina asked, pulling a plastic container out of the cabinet above her.
“You.” Avery smiled then laughed when Nina put a hand on her chest and innocently mouthed, Me? “Yes, you.” He made his voice higher and teased, “You two should give that rollercoaster a ride.” Stan cracked up beside him. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”
She gave a cheeky smile. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for a happy ending.” Spooning the leftover potatoes into the container, she added, “Besides, don’t even pretend you don’t want to give that rollercoaster a try.”
“Nina!” Stan stared at his wife in shock as if this was the first time he was getting the gist of the analogy, but the man was trying desperately not to laugh.
“What?” she asked innocently. “He knows it’s true.” She winked then went back to the task of putting the food away. But as soon as Stan walked away, Nina said softly, “And just to point out…I said try not ride. That was all you, dear.” Then the impish woman laughed, patted him on the cheek, and walked over to the table to get more food.
And Avery could feel the blush from head to toe. He had said ride, hadn’t he? He hung his head, covering his eyes as a chuckle escaped. That damn man was even messing with his subconscious.
“Do you need any more help, Nina?” Ryder asked as he came back in the room. All at once, Nina, Stan, and Avery stared at him. “What? Do I have something on my face?” He swiped a hand over his mouth…that plush, delicious mouth.
Self-control, Avery. It’s a thing. Get some!
“I think we’re good, honey. Why don’t you and Avery stop somewhere and get a drink or something?” She didn’t look up at Ryder this time, but man, that woman was skilled.
Ryder met Avery’s eyes, his mouth quirking up on one side. “I think I can safely say a drink is out.”
Avery huffed in response, but the joke seemed like an apology of sorts. “I think so.”
Disappointment etched on Ryder’s face, and Avery didn’t like it there. It was incredibly reminiscent of last night when Avery had chosen his words wrong, making Ryder feel like Avery would regret if anything had happened between them. He’d felt like s
uch an ass in that moment, and the pain that had radiated off Ryder had been palpable.
“Okay, then. I’m gonna get going. Thanks for dinner.” Ryder walked over and gave Nina a firm hug then shook Stan’s hand. He lifted a hand in a small wave of goodbye to Avery before turning to leave.
Once the front door closed, Avery could feel Nina’s glare. “Well?”
“I’m going, I’m going.” He crossed the room and said his goodbyes then headed in the same direction Ryder had just gone.
He was only a minute behind the man but had caught a red light, so he pulled in the lot to Ryder’s complex just as Ryder got out and started walking to his place. By the time Avery got out of his car and crossed the courtyard, Ryder had the outside door open. “Hey,” he called out, and Ryder stopped and looked over. Shit. That look is still there.
Ryder waited by his open door, looking back at the entrance before turning back to Avery. Is he uncomfortable with me being here? A smile that didn’t reach those gray eyes crossed his face. “What are you doing here?”
“Can we talk?” Avery finally stopped right in front of Ryder and realized he wasn’t going to let the man say no. “Not out here.”
Ryder frowned, his jaw clenching. “Fine.” Ryder didn’t say anything else but held the door open for Avery. They climbed the stairs in awkward silence, but as soon as Ryder had the door open to his place and they both walked inside, Ryder had fire in his eyes—and it wasn’t the heat of passion.
“What was all that shit back there? Rollercoasters? Starting out slow? I swear Avery, if you’re fucking with me just to get back at—”
Avery pushed Ryder back against the door with his own body and claimed his mouth. It took seconds for the man to catch up, wrapping his arms around Avery’s neck. He tasted like sin and promise and need, so incredibly raw with his desire. Avery swept his tongue into Ryder’s mouth, and holy fuck, there was that tongue piercing. He hadn’t had that when they’d hooked up the first time, but now Avery wondered how he could ever kiss someone after this who didn’t have one. Or who isn’t Ryder…