by Jaclyn Quinn
Nina looked over Chris’s head at Ryder and Avery, who were still standing in the open doorway, then back down at the boy. “Hi, Chris.”
Chris dropped his head, and just like that, all the happiness he’d been showing throughout the day vanished and the shy, reserved boy was back. “Hi.”
Ryder looked from Nina to Chris and back to Nina. Uneasiness visibly ran through him, and before he said something, Avery spoke up. “Chris, did you show Nina what you won?” Diversion wasn’t the best tactic; especially since Chris wasn’t some small child you could distract with switching the subject.
Chris held up the stuffed prize unenthusiastically and asked, “Am I allowed to go to your spare room?” His bottom lip quivered, but he held in his tears.
“Yes, of course, honey. You never have to ask. While you’re staying here, it’s your room.” Nina reached a hand out toward Chris’s curls but paused and pulled back. They were all still so unsure how to handle this situation. Chris took one last look at Ryder then immediately went around Nina and ran up the stairs.
Before Ryder could go after him, Avery grabbed his arm. “He did really great all day. Why don’t we just let him be alone for a bit?”
Ryder looked up the stairs, the muscles in his jaw twitching. With a hard nod, Ryder turned from the stairs, kissed Nina on the cheek, and walked out the door.
“He’s taking all this so hard,” Nina said, staring in the direction Ryder had just gone. “I don’t even want to think about how familiar this all is to him…what kind of memories it’s bringing up.” She turned to Avery. “He’s a good man. I really hope you see that.”
“I’m beginning to, Nina, but I’m not the one who needs to see it.”
Nina gave a sympathetic smile, nodding her head. “Well, I’m going to check on dinner. Thank you for taking Chris today. I wish every child had someone looking after them.” Avery leaned down and kissed Nina’s cheek. “Oh,” she added, “and don’t forget about tomorrow. Stan can’t wait to fire up the grill.”
He’d forgotten all about Labor Day. Chris would be starting school in a couple of days. The kid barely had time to adjust to his new surroundings; going back to school seemed daunting, even to Avery.
He gave Nina’s arm a squeeze before he left. When he got to his car and realized Ryder wasn’t in it, he quickly looked down the sidewalk. There Ryder was, hands shoved in his pockets, on foot in the direction of Ocean Avenue.
Quickly, Avery got in his car and drove up alongside Ryder. He put the window down, driving at a snail’s pace while Ryder continued to walk. “Ryder, what are you doing? Get in.” When Ryder didn’t stop his stubborn trajectory toward the main road, Avery threw the car in park and got out. He aggressively put a hand on Ryder’s chest, halting him in the middle of the sidewalk. “Where the hell are you going?”
“I don’t know what to do for him! I feel guilty every time I leave that house!” Ryder yelled. He was shaking, his skin blotchy, as he pulled his hands out of his pockets, flexing his fingers. “I put Chris in this situation. I put Nina and Stan in the situation, but I can’t just let him be sent to any fucking home! I don’t understand how this happens. How does an innocent kid like Chris end up with no one, Avery? Doesn’t he deserve what every other happy kid has? It makes me so fucking angry. What did he ever do to deserve this?”
Avery could see Ryder was fired up now, barely taking a breath. “Even if they find blood relatives, they’ll still be strangers to him. I know for a goddamn fact, blood doesn’t equal love. I know he’s not comfortable with Nina and Stan, but he has no idea what it’s like. I don’t want him to have to fend for himself, tossed from one hell to another! No kid should have to deal with that mind fuck.
“Wanting someone to pay attention to you, and then praying that some sick bastard—a goddamn stranger—will ignore you instead of physically making you want to crawl out of your fucking skin or cower in a fucking corner. They had no right! They had no fucking right!” Avery pulled Ryder into his arms, wrapping around him tightly as Ryder softly said one more time in a broken voice, “They had no right, Avery.”
Jesus Christ, Ryder was trembling, and rage was boiling inside of Avery. Nina was right; this was bringing up memories from Ryder’s past that Avery couldn’t even begin to understand. Hell, he was damn lucky that he couldn’t understand them, and wasn’t that thought just as fucked up?
Ryder didn’t hold Avery in return, but he didn’t push him away either. “I hate them for it,” Avery said. “I don’t know who they are, but I hate them all.” Finally, Ryder gripped the back of Avery’s shirt in tight fists, burying his face in Avery’s neck. They stayed like that until the trembling subsided, and Ryder’s breathing evened out. “Will you please get in the car?”
With a small nod and a deep breath, Ryder let go of Avery, and Avery immediately felt the loss. Ryder kept his eyes averted, most likely realizing what he’d just revealed in a moment of anger and frustration. After Ryder was in the car, Avery went around to the driver’s side and quickly got in before Ryder had a chance to change his mind.
They drove in silence, Avery making the decision that Ryder shouldn’t be alone. Ryder raised an eyebrow at him when he pulled his car into the underground parking garage of his building. Yeah, I don’t know what the hell I’m thinking, either. He could have driven to Ryder’s place, but he knew once they were there, Ryder could easily have asked him to leave; he wasn’t ready to leave Ryder alone yet.
“Gotta say, I‘m not surprised,” Ryder said, breaking the silence as they rode the elevator up to Avery’s floor. “This place suits you.”
“Does it bother you?” He wasn’t sure where that question had come from, but uneasiness settled in his chest that Ryder would resent him, for some reason. The elevator opened, and Avery led the way down the hall.
“No. Why would it?” Ryder answered defensively. “I know better than to judge someone based on where they live or what they have. Money doesn’t automatically make someone better, Avery.”
Shit. Well, now he felt like an ass. “You’re right; it doesn’t.” He was having trouble finding solid ground with Ryder, more so today than ever before.
He unlocked his door, and as they both walked in and he closed the door behind them, he watched Ryder cross the living room to the sliding glass doors. Ryder unlocked the door, pushing one side open so he could go out onto the balcony.
Avery observed him for a minute, noticing the way his blond hair swayed as it caught the breeze, and his tattooed arms flexed as he leaned on the iron railing. He closed his eyes and breathed in the ocean air.
The implications of Ryder’s outburst earlier still felt like a boulder sitting on Avery’s chest. He hadn’t been expecting such raw honesty from the man. He wasn’t even sure Ryder had meant to go from defending Chris to revealing something so painful about himself. And the meaning of those words had very nearly made Avery cry for the scared child Ryder had once been.
He walked up alongside Ryder, leaning on the railing next to him. Choosing his words carefully but doubting them anyway, he said, “Chris won’t have to take the same road you did. You made sure of that when you reached out to Nina and Stan. I hate that I can’t promise you what will happen next, though.”
“I was a mess back there, huh?” He laughed humorously. “Told you that you may not like what you see if I unleash all that shit.” More softly, he added, “There’s a reason I pretend like my past never happened.”
“I like what I see,” Avery admitted. “I like seeing how much you care about Chris, seeing how big your heart actually is. I used to see a sexy-as-hell man with a wicked sense of humor who never took anything seriously, but you’re so much more than that. I don’t want to make you bring up things that haunt you, though; I just want you to be real with me.”
Ryder turned his head and studied Avery until, finally, Avery made the decision and slowly closed the distance between them. The only times he’d kissed Ryder had been in moments of reckless passion fuel
ed by pure want. This was different.
This was slow. Deliberate. Necessary.
They both straightened, Avery’s hands cupping Ryder’s face as he took the kiss deeper. There was no other who kissed him like Ryder did. For the first time, though, they took their time exploring each other’s mouths, tasting one another.
But it didn’t take long for desire to overtake them, and he suddenly found himself raising his arms as Ryder pushed his shirt up and over his head, tossing it on the balcony floor. Ryder pulled his own off then crashed his mouth once again on Avery’s, tasting every inch of his mouth.
When Avery felt Ryder’s fingers on the button of jeans, he pulled back. “We’re on the balcony.”
“And your point is?” Ryder challenged, and yeah…what the hell was his point? “Besides, we’re on the tenth floor, and there’s a wall on either side of us.” Avery let Ryder move him toward the blue and white lounge chair, and he dropped down and stretched his body out on it with the gentle guidance of Ryder’s hand.
Ryder wasted no time getting to his knees on the left side of the chair, licking his lips as he released the button of Avery’s jeans and pulled the zipper down. “I believe I owe you a blowjob.”
Avery grabbed Ryder’s hands, firmly saying, “That isn’t what this is about. You don’t owe me anything.” After everything Ryder had said earlier, Avery needed him to understand that. Sex would never, ever be something Ryder owed him.
Ryder held his gaze, his chest moving with each heavy breath. “I know that.” Avery searched Ryder’s face for some sign that he truly did know that. So, when Ryder’s sexy mouth lifted on one side and he pulled at the waistband of Avery’s jeans and underwear, Avery raised his hips and let the man take the lead.
The second he felt the ocean breeze against the heated skin of his cock, followed by the wet heat of Ryder’s mouth—and oh, dear God, that tongue piercing—Avery gripped the arms of the lounge chair and sighed. Holy shit, it had been so long since he’d felt this kind of pleasure. Seeing Ryder’s head moving up and down over his erection, hearing the waves crashing in the distance, the sky turning shades of purple, orange, and pink in the evening light, knowing someone could be watching them—it was all incredibly erotic.
Avery reached his hand down, running his fingers through Ryder’s hair, and when the man locked eyes with him, he almost shot off right then. Ryder must have noticed because he gripped the base of Avery’s cock, sliding it out of his mouth. He moved those plump lips down, taking one of Avery’s balls into his mouth.
Avery—no longer giving a fuck where they were—pushed his jeans down past his knees so he could move his legs more. Ryder popped Avery’s sack out of his mouth but still held his dick in his warm hand. He reached over with his left hand, yanking Avery’s shoes off before pushing the restricting pants completely off Avery’s feet. Avery groaned, spreading his liberated legs on either side of the lounge chair. Ryder released Avery, stood up, and lifted one leg over the chair, straddling the end of it as he faced Avery again. He immediately leaned over and took Avery back into his mouth.
“Christ, you’re good at that.” Avery’s hips moved up and down of their own accord, and he practically whined when Ryder pulled his mouth away.
“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” Ryder wiggled his eyebrows, smiling smugly seconds before he took Avery back in his mouth and to the back of his throat. He swallowed around the swollen head of Avery’s cock, making Avery shout out a slew of curses.
Ryder snorted, never lessening the suction on Avery’s shaft. Avery was quickly spiraling toward release when he realized he didn’t want to go there alone. “Come here.” He pulled on Ryder’s arms until the man finally released his cock and wiped his glistening mouth. Ryder moved up to kiss Avery as Avery slid his hands down and unbuttoned Ryder’s jeans. With Ryder’s legs spread the way they were on either side of the lounge chair, Avery couldn’t push the material down. He broke the kiss and tapped Ryder’s thigh. “Take these off.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Ryder stood up and kicked his sneakers off then shoved his jeans and boxer briefs down, kicking them next to his sneakers. He peeled his socks off then Avery’s when Avery straightened his legs out on the lounge before Ryder climbed back over him. Ryder straddled Avery’s thighs this time, gripping the back of the chair on either side of Avery’s head. Avery sucked in a breath the second Ryder pushed their naked cocks together and started moving those skilled hips.
Avery reached down and brushed a thumb over the silver ring through the head of Ryder’s cock. “This is so damn sexy. What did you call it again? Prince Edward?” He could remember the name just fine, but to hear Ryder laugh was his goal. Shit had gotten serious earlier. Too damn serious.
“Prince Albert.” Ryder leaned down and kissed Avery again.
“I think I like Edward better. Eddy for short.”
Ryder let go of the chair and pulled back then busted out laughing. “You did not just call my dick Eddy.”
Avery lowered the back of the chair, so he was lying flat with Ryder above him then pulled on Ryder’s thighs. “Come up here. I want to give Eddy some heady.”
“Oh my God,” Ryder said with a chuckle as he moved further up the chair. “You need to work on your jokes—oh fuck, that’s good,” Ryder breathed out when Avery leaned his head up and took one side of Ryder’s sack into his mouth, making Ryder trail off into moans.
Avery released him and asked, “What was that?”
“Nothing. You may continue. Prince Eddy is ready for heady.” Ryder looked down at Avery, rolled his lips in, and at the same time, they both lost it.
“You’re right; that joke is bad.” Avery started laughing even harder.
Had Ryder ever had this much fun during sex before? He’d had some wild nights but nothing on this level. This was a feeling he could get used to. He loved the banter between him and Avery, but add in some orgasms and that was an explosive combination—literally.
After the laughter settled, Ryder reached on the floor for his jeans, then rolled them up and put them behind Avery’s neck. They stared at each other, the humor from moments earlier fading. Avery wrapped a hand around Ryder’s cock, leaned up, and closed his delicious lips around the head, flicking the ring with his tongue.
Ryder threw his head back and began pumping his hips. He brought his gaze back down, watching his cock slide in and out of Avery’s mouth. Damn, it was a fucking sight to see. “Look how sexy you are.” He traced his finger over Avery’s stretched lips. “Hot damn.”
Avery continued unraveling Ryder with his mouth, bringing Ryder closer and closer to release. Before it was too late, Ryder moved his hips back, sliding out of Avery’s mouth. He shimmied down so he was sitting on Avery’s lap, lining their cocks up. Taking Avery’s hands, he helped pull him to an upright position.
The man didn’t need further instruction; he wrapped one arm around Ryder’s waist while gripping both their cocks with the other hand in a tight hold. They were slick from each other’s mouths, the friction oh so good. Ryder claimed Avery’s mouth again, rocking his hips faster as a tingle started at the base of his spine and his balls drew up tight.
He groaned into Avery’s mouth as he covered his hand in white, hot liquid and looked down in time to see Avery stutter and shoot his load. When Avery let go of their shafts, Ryder lifted his hand to his mouth and licked off their combined releases. Then he took Avery’s mouth with his own, sharing their flavors. Damn, they tasted good together.
“So, uh…we’re completely naked on your balcony right now.”
“We are.”
“And covered in cum.”
“Yup.”
There was no shame in Ryder’s game. He grabbed his jeans from behind Avery and stood up to gather the rest of their clothes. Holding up Avery’s pants, he teased, “I’m guessing you want these so you don’t flash your ass to all of Brighton Pier?”
Avery smirked, raised an eyebrow, and then stood up. Damned if the man d
idn’t stretch out his back, pushing his dick forward toward the iron bars of the balcony as he raised his sculpted arms in the air. He took his time walking over to Ryder then grabbed the clothes from Ryder’s hands, tossed them inside the door, and pulled Ryder into another heated kiss. Not shy then. Good to know.
When he broke the kiss, he didn’t release Ryder but, instead, leaned his forehead on Ryder’s and held him tighter—and Ryder had no clue what to do. He just…froze. He wasn’t used to cuddling. Hell, he wasn’t used to being with someone this long after they’d both gotten off. He’d either hightail it out of there before things got weird, or he’d hint for them to leave. No matter what, he always showered as soon as possible—felt compelled to.
Avery must have sensed the shift in Ryder, because he lifted his head and stared at Ryder before dropping his arms. Ryder was immediately hit with guilt and had this bone-deep need to reach out for Avery, but he just couldn’t get his mind and his heart to cooperate with one another. He took a few steps back, needing space between them.
Jesus, was the room getting smaller? You’re outside on the fucking balcony. Ryder closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart. Then he opened them again and felt like he was under a microscope, and Avery could see every fucked-up crack, every distorted reality, every open wound. Ryder shook his head and put a hand up. “Avery—”
“No, it’s okay.” He gave a small smile that didn’t reach his blue eyes. “Let me just get something to clean us up with, and I’ll take you home.” They locked eyes for another couple of seconds, Ryder’s pulse beating out of control. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. “It’s okay. Really.”
But as he watched Avery walk away, Ryder knew okay was the last word he’d use.
Everything was not okay. Not by a longshot. Avery took a deep breath, glancing over at the quiet man in his passenger seat. Something had spooked Ryder, and for the first time since meeting the man, Avery felt like Ryder’s need to fuck and flee went deeper than even Ryder realized.