She did, but she didn’t want to take him home. She didn’t want things to end like this. She pulled into his driveway, and he started to get out without another word.
“Jordan?”
“What, Felicia?”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
He looked at her, really looked. She squirmed in her seat, but she couldn’t look away. He finally said, “Yes. I don’t think you really want to be with someone like me.”
The bottom fell out of Felicia’s world as he got out of the car. She scrambled after him, saying, “Jordan, that’s not true.”
“I wish it wasn’t,” he said with a sad smile that left as quickly as it had come. “Look, I know the thing that happened on Sunday scared you. I went straight to Mav to make it right, and I texted you immediately. I can’t prevent everything. I wish I could, because I want to give you the world, Felicia.”
He shook his head and looked away. “But I understand. I really do. You’ve never wanted a relationship with any risk or any danger, and I can’t give you that. So whether you have rules or not, I know you. And I know you don’t really want…me.”
He stuck his hands in his pockets. “It’s fine. I’d rather be alone than have to deal with another dinner like that.”
“I’m sorry about dinner,” she said.
“Thanks.” He walked away and went up the steps. From inside, his dog barked and barked. “See you around, Felicia.” With that, he went inside the house, the door closing between them a very final punctuation mark to their relationship.
Felicia stared at the door, unsure about what to do. Did she just drive away? Was this really the end?
Numbly, she got behind the wheel of her car and backed out of the driveway. She stalled and looked up to the house, almost expecting Jordan to come running out to say he’d made a mistake.
But she knew she was the one who’d made the mistakes. She could’ve gone to see him on Monday. She could’ve texted him back on Sunday afternoon the moment she’d seen his explanation come in. She could’ve told her sister to stop being a jerk during dinner.
The garage door started to lift, and she hurried to put the car in drive and get going. She didn’t want to be caught sitting in the road in front of his house when he came out in his leather clothes so he could ride over to his club.
“His club,” she said.
His club was ingrained in him, and while Felicia had started learn more about that part of him this time, she hadn’t accepted it. Not really.
“And he knows it.” She made the turn that would take her back to her house, and she glanced up into her rear-view mirror and saw Jordan riding his motorcycle in the opposite direction.
Sadness pulled through her, but she somehow made it back to her house without getting into an accident.
“There.” Felicia hung the last Christmas bulb on her tree and stepped back. The cheery colored lights on the false pine tree made her smile, but the tears blurred her vision.
Jordan had told her to take him home hours ago, and Felicia had done the one thing she could think of to stay busy on Thanksgiving. She’d pulled out all of her Christmas decorations and started getting her house dressed up for the holidays.
But she wasn’t happy about it. Normally, the twinkling lights, the promise of hot chocolate, and the close-knit community feeling around town made Felicia’s whole year. Without Jordan, she wasn’t sure how to breathe.
She sucked at the air, her mind racing. Why had she put so much distance between them?
Sinking onto the couch, she knew why. This Christmas tree, the peaceful feeling of it, wasn’t something the biker could provide for her. She’d thought he could. She’d hoped he could. She’d even started to believe he could.
But every time she went down that path, she smelled that rancid breath of the biker who’d grabbed her outside the restaurant. She’d feel his hands on her arms. She’d hear herself screaming.
That was not the life she wanted—and it was the only one the man she’d started to fall for could give her.
She curled into the couch and stared into the boughs, humming a Christmas tune to herself and her cat. The snooty feline didn’t seem to care that her heart was breaking right down the middle, and Felicia simply let the tears track down her face.
She tried to think of what Pearl would tell her to do. Shelley would say, “And good riddance to him, Felicia. He’s no good for you.”
Felicia sure thought he was. He made her feel powerful, and he protected her with a fierceness no one else ever had. They’d never exchanged I love you’s, but Felicia felt the swelling emotion in her chest.
She knew where the clubhouse was, and she knew they’d be there for hours, eating and chatting and doing whatever else motorcycle club members did. And yet, she couldn’t get herself to get up off the couch.
Eventually, she dozed, and when she really fell asleep, she was surrounded by fire. One lone figure stood outside the ring of flames, his hand extended toward her. His tattoos and panic were only illuminated by the firelight, and no matter how hard he strained to get to her, he couldn’t quite reach her.
Chapter Twenty-One
Vice had only told two people that he was bringing Felicia to Thanksgiving dinner at the clubhouse. So he put Lucas and Maverick in a group text together and said, I broke up with Felicia. I’m coming alone for Thanksgiving and I don’t want to talk about it.
Both of his friends read the text almost instantly, but neither of them responded. That wasn’t good, and Vice knew it. Lucas had gone over to Mav’s earlier that day to “help” Karly with the Thanksgiving food prep. Really, he’d probably drunk too much soda and played with Navy, Mav’s and Karly’s little girl.
Now that they’d both gotten the text, Lucas would seek out Mav and together, they’d devise a plan to get Vice talking about Felicia though he’d expressly said he didn’t want to.
He rode toward the clubhouse anyway, because he couldn’t stand to be alone in his house. He’d already spent one Thanksgiving meal isolated though he was with people, and he couldn’t do that again.
He pulled up to Ruby’s to find several cars and bikes parked outside, so he put his in the line too. Once he’d moved through the back doors, Christmas music spilled into the air, and the general vibe of the place radiated happiness and family. Home.
Vice paused and took a good, long look around. These people would never abandon him because a group of bikers had made a mistake at a restaurant.
He worked not to judge Felicia. He hadn’t grown up in her house, and he hadn’t had the same experiences she’d had. He couldn’t make a decision for her about how she spent her time, what scared her and what didn’t, and what she wanted for her life.
What he knew was that he was in love with her, and he’d do everything in his power to protect her. Even now. But he would not allow himself to be treated like he’d done something wrong by taking her to lunch in neutral territory. He wouldn’t take the cold glares from her sister when Felicia had done nothing to stave them off. He deserved a woman who wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her.
And that wasn’t Felicia.
Fine, he told himself. Time to move on.
But he had no idea how.
He’d taken a couple of steps when Lucas pushed through the crowd and said, “There you are,” in a loud voice. He had to talk loud to be heard over the other people talking and the music.
“There are a ton of people here,” he said.
“Karly’s family is here this year,” Lucas said. “So yeah. There are six of them, plus spouses, and kids. But come on.” He waved for Vice to follow him, and they stepped around a couple of men that definitely looked like Karly’s brothers. One wore a full beard like Lucas, and they bumped knuckles.
“Who’s that?” Vice asked.
“That’s Phoenix Addler,” Lucas said. “He works for the National Park. I see him a lot out on the trails.”
“Ah, got it.” Vice continued to foll
ow Lucas until they arrived at a couch away from the tables that had been set up in the meeting room.
“You remember Anderson Tanner,” Lucas said. “Mav wants us to work with him on some spyware.”
Vice reached out and shook Andy’s hand. “Of course. I remember Andy. He has the fancy building downtown.” He smiled at the man, who didn’t seem afraid or cowed by him. He didn’t scan his face and arms for tattoos, and there was no distaste on his face. Vice was still trying to shake off Shelley’s eyes, and he hated that.
“Maverick said you guys needed some surveillance cameras installed, but that absolutely no one could know about them.”
Vice looked at Lucas. He hadn’t heard any of this, though it made sense. “That’s right,” he said. “We…need to be able to see who’s coming in on the east road. And we need cams on all the docks.”
Lucas was nodding, and Vice was glad he’d been able to pick up the clues Lucas had put down.
“I’ve got cameras that are as small as a nickel,” Andy said. “And a crew that can put them up as if they’re doing maintenance on the streetlamps or telephone poles.”
“Wow.” Vice’s eyebrows went up, and he cut a glance at the sleek, professional woman at Andy’s side. She reminded him of the women who worked at the law office with him, and he gave her a smile. “You must be Sami.”
“That’s right.” She shook his hand and sipped from a mug before looking at her husband again. “We’re happy to help you guys. You’ve done a lot for Forbidden Lake.”
“Have we?” Vice was intrigued by these people. They were the type of people who usually glanced his way and then hid their faces. Sometimes, professional people like them would openly sneer at him, though the population in Forbidden Lake had grown used to the Sentinels and knew they did good things around the community.
“Yes,” Sami said with a smile. The gesture definitely softened her up, and she looked at Andy again. “Maverick has been very good to my sisters—both of them. You guys donate money to the Boys & Girls Club. You all have jobs. We’d love to help the Sentinels.”
Andy nodded, a bright smile on his face. “So, let’s get something mapped out.” He tapped on his phone and brought up Forbidden Lake. “I can put an overlay on this that will show us the telephone poles and streetlamps. You tell me where you need the cameras.” He glanced up. “Baby, take notes, would you?”
“I am too,” Lucas said.
Vice didn’t know where to look. He hadn’t realized this holiday would be a business meeting, but he was very glad for something to do. This distraction was actually exactly what he needed, and he wondered if Maverick had planned this before he’d gotten Vice’s text or not.
“We can get them installed and send the feed wherever you need it.” He met Vice’s eyes. “I’m assuming here?”
“Yes,” Vice said. “But can we view it in multiple places?”
“Definitely,” Andy said. “Is this the road you need monitored?” He pointed on the map to the only road that led east out of town, connecting Forbidden Lake to Williamsburg. There were a couple of other roads that went east too, but they all eventually looped back to the lake or turned south toward Sunshine.
“Yes,” Vice said. “And we need all the ports on the lake bugged.” He looked at Lucas. “Where else?”
“It would be nice to have a central location too,” he said. “In case they’re not going to use the docks like we think they are.”
The Breathers had not come into Forbidden Lake last night, though it had been Wednesday. They’d agreed to wait until the terms were worked out, and they still weren’t quite there yet. Tyson had been right—by agreeing to their request, the Sentinels had bought themselves some time.
“I can put something on all four sides of my building,” Andy said. “It’s the tallest one in Forbidden Lake, and it’s quite central.”
“That it is,” Lucas said. “Let’s do that, yeah, Vice?”
“Yeah,” Vice agreed.
“The turkey is ready,” Karly announced. A moment later, the blipping sound of the public address system for the motorcycle shop rang through the speakers.
“Welcome, everyone,” Maverick said over the line. “We’re ready to eat in the back of the building. Please make your way there, and we’ll get everyone fed.”
Vice stayed right where he was, because Karly had a lot of family members. Not only that, but any Sentinel—past or present—who didn’t have somewhere to eat was welcome at the club.
For that matter, anyone in the town of Forbidden Lake who didn’t have a meal to attend could come to Ruby’s. Vice glanced around, and he at least recognized all of the faces, either from Mav’s wedding or as his biker brothers. Tyson was there with Dani, his girlfriend, and her son, Jonas.
“Real quick,” Andy said as he stood up. “Can you come by my office next week?”
“I can,” Lucas said. “Vice here has a full-time job at a law firm.”
A blip of surprise crossed both Sami’s and Andy’s faces, and that was more of the reaction Vice was used to.
“But I can,” Lucas said. “I’m still looking for a job. I do have an interview on Monday morning though.”
“Can we do Monday afternoon?” Andy wasn’t asking Lucas, though. Sami tapped and swiped, and she said, “If it’s late, sweetheart. We have a meeting with Humanari that day.”
“Five?”
“Five is fine,” she said. “If we have them come to the apartment.” She glanced at Lucas and then Vice. “I’ll make dinner.”
“If it’s that late, I can come,” Vice said.
“Five it is,” Andy said. “Let’s get that on the calendar, and we’ll see if we can’t be ready for you guys on Wednesday, at least with the road cam and my building cams.”
“Sounds great,” Lucas said at the same time Maverick entered the room carrying a huge platter of turkey. Several more bikers followed him, each with a bowl, dish, or pot of something. Vice’s mouth started watering, and his whole soul filled with light.
He loved this club; he loved his brothers; he loved that he was accepted and loved here for who he was.
Maybe he’d simply been trying to fold himself into a Felicia-shaped box, and it would never be the right fit.
“Let’s have a moment of silence for the things we’re grateful for,” Maverick said, and Vice closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath.
I’m grateful for my club, he thought. For Lucas and Mav and Bomber and Gramps and Electron. There were many others he loved and cared about, and when Mav said, “All right, there’s food enough for everyone. Don’t be shy,” Vice was thinking about Felicia.
He couldn’t help the way he felt about her, just like she couldn’t help the way she craved a safe, normal, non-tattooed man. And Vice was none of those things.
“Come on,” Lucas said, slapping him on the back. “I’m starving, and you have a story to tell me about Felicia.”
“Nope,” Vice said. “I’m not talking about that today.”
“Okay,” Lucas said. “You can tell me tomorrow when I move in.”
“Deal.” If Vice agreed, he could have the rest of today conversation-free. Which was just what he got.
The next morning, Smoky snored at his feet while Vice went over the booklist one final time. He’d reviewed it a half-dozen times before, but the event was tomorrow, and he needed to make sure each of their recipients had a biker and a booklist so they could get in to the bookstore, find what they needed, and get out.
A lunch catered by Flounders needed to start by eleven-thirty, and it would be a tight squeeze if everything wasn’t absolutely ready to go at nine in the morning.
He cut another booklist out of the paper he’d printed them on and put it in the envelope with Cable’s name—the biker—and the boy getting the books—Ricky Cleary. That way, all he had to do was welcome everyone, hand out the envelopes, and stand back and watch the magic happen.
Coordinating all of the wants and needs for books took hours
on the back-end, but he’d had that work done for a while now. Thankfully. Since the robbery, he hadn’t had energy for much of anything.
Lucas arrived, and Smoky started barking as if Vice couldn’t hear the grumble of his best friend’s motorcycle. “It’s just Lucas,” he said over the barking. “Shush.”
He swept all the paperwork away into his collapsible file folder and set it out of the way. He met Lucas at the garage entrance and asked, “Did you get the truck?”
“Yep, we just need to go pick it up. You ready?” He scanned Vice, who didn’t quite have his boots on yet.
“I’ll be out in two seconds,” he said, hurrying to the front closet where he kept the boots. A few minutes later, he joined Lucas on the back of his bike, and they drove the few minutes to the truck rental. Lucas would leave his bike there, only picking it up once they’d moved everything and he was ready to return the truck.
Twenty minutes later, they pulled up to Lucas’s house, but Lucas didn’t get out.
Vice just waited for him to say something or do something. Finally, he said, “I’m going to miss this place.”
“You did like it here,” Vice agreed. And he could see why. The house sat right in the middle of Forbidden Lake, an easy walk to almost everything anyone would need. At the same time, the land had a lot of mature trees that made it feel private and homey too.
“Thanks for letting me come stay with you.”
“You can live there,” Vice said. “It can be permanent, Lucas. I don’t mind.” In fact, Vice would like that.
“I know.” He reached for the door handle and got out of the truck, Vice following him. “Let’s get this over with.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lucas made trip after trip from the house to the truck, loading up everything he owned. He was actually quite impressed that he had so much stuff, though none of it was really worth anything. Jordan did him a favor and didn’t say anything, and though Lucas had originally thought he’d want to talk while he moved, he’d been wrong.
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