by Siobhan Muir
I shifted my legs under the sheets and realized something was missing. Panic rose through my chest along with renewed pain as I tried to push the blankets back. When they wouldn’t move, I shoved one hand under them to feel my cock and balls.
Oh no, it’s gone. I felt around as best I could, but my hand came up with nothing but skin and hair. Where the hell is it? I moved my hand under my hip and ass and I’m sure I looked like I was feeling myself up, but there was nothing on the bed, either.
Oh, glory, it’s really gone.
Karma’s last gift, her beautiful cock jewelry and her mark of possession, was gone. I’d worn it every day we’d been apart, trying to hold on to the memories and love I’d experienced with her. I couldn’t be near her and feel her touch, but the jewelry had kept me grounded enough to go on despite our breakup.
And now that’s gone, too.
Tears leaked out of my eyes and dripped onto the pillow behind me. I wasn’t used to being so emotional. Hell, I hadn’t cried at all when I broke up with my ex. But losing Karma drilled a hole straight through my soul. Worse, since Backlog was aware of her, I couldn’t go back even if I wanted to. Which I did, desperately.
To protect her, I’d have to walk away.
It was probably for the best. After all, I must have cashed in some of my karmic debt to sustain the beating I got from the Backlog members. I wondered, sullenly, if she took any pleasure in exacting retribution for hiding who I was from her, but I chided myself for the whiny thoughts. She’d been heartbroken, I could read that clear enough on her face when she’d bolted for her cabin.
I’m really sorry, Karma. I was, especially because I wouldn’t be able to serve her or comfort her. I’d be walking away from the woman who held my heart and soul. Yeah, okay, she wasn’t human, but my heart didn’t care.
I cleared my throat and closed my eyes, trying to focus my energies on healing all the hurts. I hadn’t seen the doctor yet, but I’m sure they’d be along to tell me all the damage. And then I’m coming for you bastards. I’d figure out a way to keep Karma safe and take them down, because I was done being nice.
****
Karma
I didn’t talk to anyone for a couple of days after Coop was taken to the hospital. I didn’t want to. I know Torch and Loki kept a weather-eye on me, but they left me alone. I left the compound every day, taking my time to find out where Officer Kinsley and his motley crew of assholes hung out. He was easy enough to find, being a beat cop, but I didn’t want to catch him on duty. I needed to study and understand him before I set his karma in motion.
Turned out, he liked to visit this one diner on the south end of Fort Collins and he often met with the other members of his beat squad. If I hadn’t been looking for him, I probably wouldn’t have found the other guys who’d been there the night they assaulted Coop. I kept an eye on the diner and planned how I’d get close to the cops who surrounded Kinsley.
The morning I set my plan in motion, he was stuffing his face with a heart attack on a plate. The temperature had grown warm so I’d chosen to wear the fringed leather top that tied behind my neck and back, and my tight low-riding jeans. I’d put on my low-heeled booties with matching fringe and I strode into the diner for scrambled eggs and bacon. Kinsley sat with three of the other guys from the assault on Coop and in a moment, I had their Karmic Dossiers scrolling through my mind.
I gave a low whistle as I swung my hip onto a counter stool. This is going to be easier than I thought. They had more things to account for than an embezzling hedge fund manager. I settled onto the stool and thanked the waitress for the coffee. I was pretty sure every man in the place had his gaze glued to my ass. When I wanted to look good, I usually turned heads. But I’d be taking them instead.
I sat at the counter, showing them my hip bones and back. Their eyes and lust slithered over me like cold syrup. I ordered a breakfast sandwich and listened in on the conversation behind me.
“So, are the Marshals finally on board now that the snoop’s gone?” The guy who spoke had been the driver of the car at the alley.
Kinsley shook his head. “Not yet. Ainsworth thinks there are a couple more who’re makin’ waves and will have to be ferreted out. But at least DeVille is shut down. I’m pretty sure he’s more worried about his darkie girlfriend than getting more dirt on us. But we’ll keep an eye on him for a short time. We fucked him up pretty good.”
Anger kindled in my chest and I gritted my teeth against doing anything rash. Instead, I let his Karmic Dossier fill my mental screen. The pathway to the repayment of his Karmic Debt unfolded in my mind and I mapped it out.
The waitress trips, accidentally pouring hot coffee into Kinsley’s lap. He shrieks and gives her hell, but he and his buddies leave the diner.
Kinsley must go home, but his car has a flat. Checking for his spare, he finds it’s flat, too, from the last time he didn’t bother to get it repaired. Swearing, he checks his phone for the nearest tire repair shop and finds one a few miles north.
He calls one of his breakfast buddies and they come to get him, loading up the two tires.
Their drive takes them through a neighborhood where they almost hit some school children and the traffic cam catches their plate, calculating a school-zone ticket.
By the time they hit the freeway, Kinsley’s pants are wet and cold, freezing his balls and he looks like he’s pissed his pants. His buddy ribs him on it, laughing too hard to see the drunken truck driver who plows into the car, flipping it over and over into the median.
The driver is pinned by the concaved door, dead on impact. Kinsley’s neck is broken and he has internal bleeding that kills him before the paramedics arrive.
I nodded sharply. Works for me. I flicked my wrist a little, nudging the energy of the waitress to stumble as she headed to refill the mugs on the cops’ table. She threw her hands out and the coffee shot out of the carafe, pouring a hot, brown stream into Kinsley’s lap, making him scream.
“Sonovaprick! What the fuck is wrong with you, lady?” He lurched to his feet to get away the saturated cloth on his lap as I kept my head down, watching out of the corner of my eye.
“I’m so sorry, sir. It was an accident. Let me get you a towel.”
“No, I don’t want a towel. Get the fuck away from me.” Kinsley pushed out of the booth and threw some money down on the table. “You can forget about a fucking tip.”
He stalked out as the others dropped money on the table and followed him, scowling and grumbling. I figured they wouldn’t be back to this diner, but that would be a saving grace for the other customers. Kinsley and his crew needed to pay the piper, so-to-speak, and the deposit window was open.
The waitress came back to the counter, her expression a combination of bewilderment and chagrin.
“You all right?”
She turned and nodded before shaking her head with dismay. “I don’t know how I managed to trip. The floor was clean and smooth.”
I shrugged. “Must have been karma.”
She snorted. “Mine or theirs?”
I tilted my head with a half-smile. “Maybe a little bit of both. The question is, what can you learn from it?”
The waitress snorted and shook her head. “Clocking out on time instead of waiting for the last possible tip from guys who didn’t pay it.”
I nodded. “Sounds like a plan. Here’s thirty bucks. That should cover my tip and theirs.”
“Oh, you don’t have to—”
“Nah, I insist. Hopefully, it’ll make your day a little better after those jackasses.” I waved at my breakfast sandwich. “Can I get a box for this? I gotta get going.”
Some of the tension left the woman’s face and she brought me a box, adding a little slice of apple pie along with my sandwich. She gave me a wink and a smile. “For your sweetness.”
I left the diner with a huge grin on my face as I settled onto my bike. I caught sight of Kinsley scowling at the flat tires in front of him as I drove away with my sandwich and
pie. It was shaping up to be a pretty good day.
Chapter Twenty
Karma
It took me the better part of a week to make sure all the guys from Kinsley’s crew had paid their Karmic Debts in full, and all the resulting deaths had been ruled accidents. I just had to get the ball rolling. The only one I hadn’t found was Fedora Guy, but I suspected he was the “Ainsworth” Kinsley had mentioned at his breakfast meeting. I’d find him eventually and give him his due, but in the meantime, I had to talk to Coop.
“You gonna be okay?” Torch’s voice pulled me back to the present.
I shot him a look from the passenger seat of the Concrete Angels’ moving van. Was I okay? Kinda. Sorta. Not really. I was afraid to face my true mate who lay in the building just beyond the passenger door.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be okay.” I nodded even if I didn’t feel like the words were true. “You’ll wait here for me to come back out, right?” I tightened my hand over the bag at my feet as I met his gaze.
“Yeah, I’ll be here. Whenever you’re ready. Just text me and I’ll come to the doors.”
I nodded again before I pushed the door open and got out. “Thanks, Torch.”
“No problem. Go get ’im, Tiger.”
I snorted. “Yeah.”
I closed the door and he drove out to park the van. He’d done me a huge favor bringing me there with nothing but a vague plan and hope, but Torch told me he liked Coop and could see he was important to me. He wasn’t wrong. I took a deep breath and headed for the entrance.
I stopped outside of the hospital doors and fidgeted with the handles of the duffle bag I carried. I hated hospitals. They often sat full of people who’d experienced my dubious gifts in a spectacular way, and facing their suffering wasn’t fun.
Like Coop.
Although, I wasn’t sure if it was his karma he’d experienced or my own. He lay in the hospital bed upstairs because I told him to leave the Concrete Angels’ compound, and the guys from Backlog found him. They beat him nearly to death. I made them experience their karma far faster than they would have normally, but I wasn’t waiting around for them to pay for harming my true mate.
Even if it was kinda my fault.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped through the sliding doors and headed for the elevators to the fourth floor. Most people ignored me despite my fluffy hair, my denim jacket with the arms cut off, and my tight jeans, but I wasn’t there for them anyway. I slid past the nurse’s station as if I was meant to be there and found Coop’s room.
Again, my courage damn near failed me at the door. Would he want to see me after I’d pushed him away and refused to answer his phone calls and texts? I bit my bottom lip and stepped into the room, setting the bag down on the chair inside the door.
Coop lay in the bed, slightly propped up and covered with a light blue blanket. His head was tilted toward the window, his eyes closed, and my breath stilled in my chest. Horrid blue and purple bruises marred the cheek I could see and probably the one I couldn’t. His left arm hung across his chest in a cast and sling, and I’d learned they’d installed pins to help the bones knit. I’d taken another one of those dream walks into the hospital and overheard the nurses talking about Coop. They’d discussed his broken ribs, a bad concussion, and a punctured lung. He’d received surgery quickly enough to correct it, but he’d be hurting for a long time.
I wanted to pull him up from the bed and hug him close to my body, promising to take care of him forever. Which I could, being who I was. But it wasn’t who he was. U.S. Marshal Cooper DeVille was the kind of guy who’d run toward danger just to save a few innocents, including members of his own law enforcement club. He was a rare breed.
“Hey, Karma.” My breath stopped in my throat as his cracked voice washed over me. “What are you doing here?”
I barked a surprised laugh that came out too close to a sob. “I’m checking up on you to find out how you’re feeling.”
Coop grimaced, one eye swollen shut. “Pretty much everything hurts, but at least I can breathe again. How are you?”
I sighed and rested a hip against the end of his bed. “Miserable and lonely, but that’s pretty much par for the course, so I’m fine.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I guess being the physical manifestation of retribution can be pretty rough.” He frowned as he shifted his body in the bed. “I take it this is my payment for lying to you?”
“What?” I gaped at him. “You think I had this done to you?”
“No, or not directly.” He gave a tired shrug. “I’m sure it’s just my karma from actions in the past.”
I wanted to deny it, to insist that I had anything to do with it. But karma was always working whether we believed in it or not, and his actions had brought the attention of Backlog onto him. Yeah, but he didn’t have to be alone when they came for him. No, I could’ve been there. Hell, all the Concrete Angels could’ve been there to back him up.
But we weren’t because I’d told him to go and leave me alone.
“I’m sorry, Coop.”
He raised an eyebrow. Probably. It was hard to tell with the swelling and bruises. But he didn’t say anything and let me squirm through my apology.
“I’m sorry I told you to leave me alone. I’m sorry I didn’t take the time to listen to you.” Tears started to roll down my cheeks, but I couldn’t stop them any more than I could stop the pain in my heart. “And I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when those guys cornered you and beat you all to hell. I should’ve been there. I should’ve stopped them. I should’ve had your back.” I didn’t tell him I had been there, just not in my physical form.
Coop said nothing, watching me cry and squirm at his silence. I didn’t know what he was thinking but I could guess it was something along the lines of a day late and a dollar short. And he was right. I’d let him down when it counted and nothing could change that.
“I’m sorry. I know I said some shitty things to you because you didn’t tell me who you really were. It was wrong of me to hold it against you since I didn’t tell you who I really was, either.” The tears kept rolling and I kept talking. “In that, we’re pretty much even. I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me, or worse, you would and run screaming from me. I guess that’s pretty much what kept you from telling me, right?”
He said nothing to my question. I shrugged and rubbed the back of my neck. “I’ve never had a long-term relationship with anyone who wasn’t like me. You know, not human. But I’ve also never met anyone like you, and according to the Goddess, you’re my true mate. My one-and-only. The happily-ever-after everyone reads about in romance novels.”
I waited for him to respond, but he only turned his head to look outside.
“I know, it’s a lame excuse, and I should’ve tried harder. I get that, now. And I want to try again. With you. On equal footing. No more secrets about who we are between us.”
He said nothing. He didn’t even turn his head to look at me, and the very real fear that I would lose him entered my mind. Sweet glory, don’t let it be so.
“I’m so sorry, Coop, and I don’t want you to leave. In fact, I want you to come back to the Concrete Angels with me. And hey, I’m trying to have a conversation with you. Could you please look at me?”
“I can’t.” He didn’t move.
“You can’t look at me or you can’t come back with me?”
Now he met my gaze. “I can’t come back with you.”
So, this is what it feels like to have a sword in my gut. The swirling, piercing pain just about made me double over and sink to my knees. I’m pretty sure my face drained of color because the skin on my head tightened hard enough to make my cheeks and eyes ache. I’d experienced a broken leg once, and it didn’t even come close to the agony in my chest at the moment.
“Okay.” I had to swallow a couple of times before I could find my voice again. “Fine. Yeah, good. Good.”
He grunted. “Aren’t you going to ask me why?”
“I’m trying to sub
tly avoid it.”
He snorted and I thought it might be with laughter. “Fine. But I’m gonna tell you anyway.”
I swallowed hard. “Okay.”
He grimaced as he tried to get into a better position, but he gave up after a few moments of painful movement. I rose and moved to his head, rearranging the pillow behind him so he could meet my gaze without straining.
“Thanks.” He settled back as he gathered his breath. “I can’t go back with you because Backlog will come after you if I survive. I’m not going to give up on bringing them down. There are too many people they can hurt and that’s unacceptable. But just because I’m putting myself in harm’s way doesn’t mean I have to drag you down with me. So I can’t go back with you. You’ll be safer without me around.”
I wanted to tell him he was full of shit. No one could kill karma, not even Loki, the God of Mischief. But I’d known Coop long enough to read resolution in his voice and body language. Nothing I could say would sway him from what he perceived he had to do.
I nodded slowly, my heart breaking into shards of cracked ice. But I changed the direction of my head, swiveling it into a shake. To hell with it.
“No.”
“What?”
“I said no.”
“What do you mean no?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Is there some part of ‘no’ you don’t understand? It’s a pretty direct answer.”
“I mean, I don’t understand what you’re saying no to.”
“Ah.” I gave him my best disagreeable smile. “No, I’m not going to be safer without you. And even so, I refuse to be without you.”
“Karma—”
“Nope. I made the mistake of being without you for the better part of two weeks and that turned out to be a shit decision on my part. So, I’m not about to do that to myself again.”