by Iona Rose
“I’ll be here,” I say. “I was just blowing off steam. Of course I’m not really going to leave town because of Kimberley. Why would I even care if she’s back or not?”
“Why indeed,” Matt laughs.
It didn’t take him long to revert back to winding me up now he knows that he’s made it almost impossible for me to leave town and save face. I nod towards the door which he’s still blocking.
“Now if you don’t mind, some of us do have actual work to get on with,” I say.
Matt stands aside with an eloquent hand gesture. I roll my eyes and leave his office. My mind is reeling but I just have to forget about Kimberley, forget about the past, and concentrate on getting through the pile of paperwork on my desk.
My headache is starting to come back and as I approach my office, I ask Bernie, my secretary, to run out and grab me a double shot latte. She smiles and jumps to her feet.
“Do you need anything else while I’m out?” she asks.
Just a one way plane ticket to Outer Mongolia or somewhere equally remote.
“Nope. Just the coffee will be great,” I say.
I go into my office and sit down and begin looking over the pile of paperwork in front of me. No matter how much I stare at the rows and columns of figures, I can’t get Kimberley out of my mind. I find myself picturing her how she used to look. Sweet faced, young, innocent. I try to imagine her all grown up, her cheeks filled out, her breasts filled out, curves on her hips. I feel my cock starting to get hard just picturing it and I groan to myself. How can she still have this effect on me after four fucking years?
I’m seriously debating going into my bathroom and jerking off, but to do that would be to admit that Kimberley still has that kind of power over me, and I won’t allow her any more space in my head. I fire up my computer and force myself to start reading and responding to my emails. Bernie comes in with my coffee and a toffee flavoured donut. I raise an eyebrow at the donut and she laughs.
“I thought maybe you could use the sugar rush,” she grins.
“Do I look that rough?” I ask.
“Oh you look terrible,” she laughs.
“Good to know my misery amuses you,” I say.
“Always,” she laughs as she breezes back out of my office.
“You’re fired,” I shout as the door begins to close.
“Love you too,” I hear her reply.
Bernie has been with me since I joined the company straight out of high school and like Bradley, I think of her more as a friend than an employee. It’s a running joke between us that unlike most of the other people here, Bernie tells me the truth, even when I won’t like it. I then tell her she’s fired and she makes some sarcastic little come back.
I must look as rough as I feel for Bernie to feel the need to bring me sugar though. She knows I rarely treat myself to anything sweet. All the same, I pick the donut up and take a big bite. Instantly, the sugar makes me feel better. I finish the donut and lick the sugar from my fingers and then I start on the coffee. As I’m sipping it, my phone rings. I pull it out of my pocket and look at the screen. Chance. My other brother, the middle child.
Great. Has he been having sneaky meetings with Kimberley too that he now wants to rub in my face and gloat about?
“Hey,” I say, taking his call. “What’s up?”
“Ah not much. Just checking in,” he says.
“Checking in?” I repeat. “Is that necessary?”
Jeez can’t a guy have a fucking hangover in peace around here?
“Well maybe not, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt. Matt told me he told you about running into Kimberley.”
Ah so he has called to gloat. It’s nothing to do with my hangover. Obviously.
“Yes, he took great delight in dragging out the story of their meeting, so if you don’t mind, I’m really not in the mood for round two of that,” I say.
“Relax would you? Believe it or not, I have better things to do than wind you up. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I know the effect she has on you,” he says.
God, there’s no damned effect. I’m over her.
“I’m fine,” I assure Chance. “Matt’s had his bit of fun and it’s done. It’s not like I’m going to run into Kimberley and if I do, then I’ll deal with it. It was a long time ago and yes, she used to have an effect on me, but that was then. I’m a grown man now and I’m totally over her.”
“Whatever you say bro,” Chance replies.
He doesn’t sound like he believes me for a second, but at least he doesn’t sound amused like Matt did.
“So have you ran into her as well?” I ask.
“No, but I’ve heard from people other than Matt that she’s back,” Chance says.
He answers my unasked question. Was Matt full of shit to get his own back on me for blowing the deal with Natalie.
“Honestly Seb, I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s not like she’s exactly going to be going out of her way to see you either is it?” Chance says. “But just on the off chance you do happen to see her at some point, just be cool. Like you said, you’ve grown up now and so has she. Leave the hurt where it belongs.”
“Oh I intend to,” I reply.
I sound more determined to do that than I feel. Chance’s words hit me hard. I should be glad to realise that Kimberley will be as happy to avoid me as I am to avoid her, but I’m not. The notion causes a lump to form in my stomach. God how did we fuck things up quite so spectacularly?
“Well if you’re sure you’re ok, I’ll let you go. I’ve got a mountain of paperwork to get through and I’ve got a couple of meetings lined up this afternoon. And then tonight, I have a dinner booked with a potential new client,” Chance says.
“Jeez Chance take a day off. The world won’t stop turning you know,” I say.
Chance laughs.
“You’re funny Seb. I’m glad you haven’t lost your sense of humour.”
He hangs up before I can explain that it wasn’t a joke. Chance is a complete workaholic. Even my father, another workaholic, comments on how much work Chance does and the amount of hours he puts in. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, and I work way more than my fair share of hours, but Chance is on another level. Work is his entire life.
I turn back to my computer, but I already know I’m not in the right frame of mind for this. I knew it the moment I fired the thing up, but I finally allow myself to admit it. I decide to take the advice I gave Chance. I finish my coffee and put the cup in my desk bin and then I stand up and leave the office.
“I’m taking the rest of the day off,” I tell Bernie. “Can you reschedule my two o’clock. Hold my calls unless it’s to do with the Benton merger.”
“Got it,” Bernie says. She looks at me critically, assessing me. “You look like you need a day off. Go home and get some sleep. Just looking at you is making me feel tired.”
“You know, you’re enough to give a guy a complex,” I laugh.
“What can I say? Honesty is my middle name,” she replies.
“Yeah I get that. Maybe you should aim for tact instead,” I say.
“If you wanted tactful, you’d hire a Sheila,” she winks.
I can’t argue with that any more than I can face another minute in this suddenly too hot building. I throw Bernie a wave and hurry away.
Chapter Three
Sebastian
I’ve spent as little time at the office as I can this last week. In fact, I’ve spent as little time as I can anywhere but in my own house. I haven’t neglected the details of the merger. Everything is coming along nicely and I’ve been working on the financial side of it all from home. One thing I am sure of is that this is a great investment and I’m not going to let my crankiness affect the deal.
As much as I’ve tried to tell myself my recent state of apathy has nothing to do with Kimberley, I don’t really believe it. I mean I am over her; how could I not be after four years? But her name still has power over me. And I fucking hate that.
<
br /> I’ve tried my best to keep her as far away from my mind as possible, so if anything, I’ve actually gotten through more work than I usually would have. I’ve not only been working on the Benton merger, I’ve also been doing some research for our next acquisition and I’ve found several good candidates. I’ve spent my so called spare time researching the firms and getting deep into their books.
Kimberley has still been a constant feature in my thoughts the second I step away from my laptop though. As much as I don’t want to see her and drag open old wounds, I can’t help but wonder why she has made the effort to see both Matt and Chance but not me.
Chance called me last Thursday to tell me that he had spoken to Kimberley. She’d called him and asked him to meet up with her for coffee. While there, she told him she’d grabbed a coffee with Matt too. That irritated me more than anything. Matt had implied him seeing Kimberley had been a chance encounter. I know he kept the rest a secret to save my feelings; even though he enjoyed winding me up, he didn’t really want to hurt me, but I still would have liked the truth.
Chance pretty much confirmed what Matt had told me. Kimberley is hotter than ever.
It’s such a weird place I find myself in. On the one hand, Kimberley is the last person I want to see. Really. I don’t need a reminder of the past. It’s not like I could ever really forget it anyway. But at the same time, I’m finding it so fucking hard to function just knowing that she’s in town and hasn’t made any effort to reach out to me when she had no problems reaching out to both of my brothers.
I know I could call her, but to what end? To have her confirm in person that she doesn’t want to see me? She made that much clear by meeting up with my brothers and not sending me so much as a hey how are you text message.
Screw it. Screw her. I have an important meeting today and I can’t let her into my head again. Matt wasn’t kidding when he said the meetings would be starting early this week. It’s only Monday and the first meeting is happening in half an hour. I just want to pop up to my office and grab the last of the files.
I walk along the hallway and when Rachel, the sexy as fuck head of advertising greets me, I give her a quick smile. Her frown tells me I’m off my game. I would normally have had a bit of witty banter for her, a bit of flirtation. Today though, I’m just not in the mood for it.
Maybe it’s because I had the worst weekend ever. I shake my head. I haven’t had such a rubbish weekend since … Well suffice to say it’s been a long time.
I reach my office. Bernie is sitting at her desk sipping a coffee, another one sitting on the corner of her desk waiting for me. I smile at her and pick it up.
“Look at you in early,” she grins.
“I didn’t know you were keeping tabs on my time keeping,” I snap.
The grin slips from her face.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I was just joking.”
God I hate being so fucking cranky. Bernie says shit like that all the time and I just laugh at her.
“No, I’m sorry,” I say genuinely meaning it. “I had a crap weekend and I took it out on you.”
“What happened like?” she asks.
I sit down on one of the visitor’s chairs and glance over my shoulder to make sure there’s no one else in hearing distance.
“Nothing happened. That’s the problem. I went out for a couple of hours on Friday night and I just wasn’t feeling it you know? Saturday, I didn’t even bother.”
She raises an eyebrow and then she grins.
“So you didn’t get laid and now you’re pissed,” she says.
“Exactly that. You know me so well Bernie,” I say.
It wasn’t like there hadn’t been options. The bar I went to on Friday had been full of hot women. I’d targeted a pretty little brunette, and she was up for a night of fun. She had that air about her. But my heart wasn’t in it. I just wasn’t in the mood for more mindless sex. I don’t think she was too happy when I bailed on her. If only she’d known I wasn’t too fucking happy about it myself.
“Are you alright Sebastian?” Bernie asks, pulling me back out of my head. “Seriously. Has something happened? You’re … I don’t know. Different.”
“I’m just feeling a bit out of sorts. I think maybe the pressure of the Benton merger is getting to me a bit. But I’ll snap out of it. Don’t you worry about me,” I say, forcing a smile.
She doesn’t look overly convinced but she lets it go. She knows there’s more to it than I’m letting on. There is a lot of pressure surrounding the merger. It can take our empire to the next level, but I thrive on pressure. The higher the stakes, the more I come alive. Bernie knows that. But she also knows that when I’m ready to open up to her, I will do it in my own time, and all the questions in the world won’t make me open up any sooner. This time, I really don’t think I’ll ever be opening up about this.
I just need to hear word that Kimberley’s business here is done and that she’s gone back to wherever is home for her these days, and then I’ll be back on my game. I have to get back on my game now though. I have to hold it all together through this meeting and be charming. I can’t go in there biting people’s heads off.
I check my watch. I’ve sat here too long and now I’ve only got five minutes before the meeting starts. I get to my feet.
“Thanks for the coffee Bernie,” I say.
“Any time,” she replies, knowing I’m thanking her for more than the coffee.
I go into my office and grab the last few files. I have the most important ones on me, but I don’t want to leave myself in a situation where a question might come up that I can’t answer without these last few. I leave my office and almost run to the elevator. I go up to the tenth floor, and make my way to the big conference room. I step inside.
The meeting has already started, but a quick scan of the room shows me Matt, Chance, Bradley and several of the associates who will be handling the day to day parts of the merger. I breathe a sigh of relief. The client isn’t here yet.
I take my seat and Matt glares at me. I flash him a grin, ignoring his obvious anger.
“What did I miss?” I ask.
“We were just going over the brief one more time,” Chance says, pushing a folder towards me. I open it and start flicking through it, double checking everything is in place. “We want to start negotiating this deal from a position of strength and we all need to be on the same page.”
He doesn’t look as angry as Matt does, but I can hear the strain in his voice as he struggles to not snap at me. I almost comment that if we all need to be on the same page, maybe we should present a united front by not all sniping at each other, but I bite my tongue. We will be having some version of that conversation later on, but not in here in front of the associates.
Hayley, one of the marketing associates saves me from having to say anything else when she pipes up with a question. Matt starts pointing out parts of the report and explaining it to her as I take a more thorough look through the brief. I have seen several drafts of the brief, but I always like to go over everything and just make sure it’s all exactly as we discussed before starting a meeting.
As I’m treble checking the figures, the door to the conference room opens. I hear it in some far of place in my mind, but I don’t full register it. At least not until a voice I would know anywhere follows the closing of the door.
“Hi everyone. I’m so sorry we’re late. The traffic out there is crazy this morning.”
I feel my whole body stiffen. Every muscle inside of me turns to stone. My heart races, beating so fast I’m certain the whole room will be able to hear it. I try to swallow but my throat is dry. Unlike my palms which are suddenly coated in a layer of sweat.
It’s been four years since I heard that voice, but I would still know it anywhere. I could pick out a whisper from that voice in a sea of yelling. It’s her. Kimberley.
Suddenly, it all drops into place. The way Matt wound me up about seeing Kimberley. The way Chance lectured me about n
ot letting the hurt in if I should come across her. The way everyone has been extra cagey about revealing any names when it comes to the Benton merger. I didn’t press for them. One CFO is the same as the next one to me. I work in numbers, not names. But this CFO is anything but the same as the rest of them. She’s supposed to be my past, yet here she is, very firmly planted in my present and my future.
I can hear her voice still as she greets Chance and Matt and the others. Two other voices join in with the introductions, not that Kimberley needs any introduction. She’s brought with her the CEO and the VP. So at least my brain is still functioning. It’s only my body that seems to have failed me completely. I just can’t bring myself to look up from the brief I’m staring at but no longer reading.
“Oh don’t worry. He always was thorough,” Kimberley says, and I know she’s talking about me.
She’s excusing my rudeness, no doubt to Matt. I can’t just sit here like this. The whole room has gone silent and I can feel every eye on me.
Just breathe. Just act like a normal fucking person.
I look up and all eyes are indeed on me. I force myself to smile. I clear my throat.
“Sorry, I was engrossed there,” I say with a fake cheeriness. “Sebastian Hunter. The numbers guy.”
The two men with Kimberley introduce themselves. Joe Benton, CEO, and Gary Parker, VP. I nod at them and then I do what I knew I would have to do. I turn to Kimberley. My eyes meet hers. I am once more frozen. The casual greeting I had planned freezes on my lips. Her eyes are exactly as I remember them. Bright green with tiny flecks of gold that seem to dance in the sunlight. The quick glance I had of her before I met her eye told me Matt is right. She has grown up. She has changed a lot. But her eyes have never changed even a little bit.
I know that our gaze is affecting Kimberley almost as much as it’s affecting me. I can tell by the way her pupils dilate as she looks at me, the way I hear her let out a small gasp that sounded so loud in the silence of the room.