by Jon Chaisson
*
Kai dreaded the thought of having this conversation with Caren and Alec, and she was sure Ashan felt the same way, but at this point, not having it at all would have made even less sense. As she and Ashan drove the circuitous route to Branden Hill District by way of one of the outer arterials, then eastward to ARU Headquarters, she found herself wishing she didn’t have to put the two through this, especially Alec. He was not Mendaihu — though he sometimes acted exactly like one — and he was unfamiliar with the ways of the Spirit. But that wasn’t entirely true, either. He was no less familiar with the One of All Sacred than anyone else, and the phrasing Mendaihu kin used to describe those uninitiated sounded elitist. She knew from the Mendaihu hear that it was not meant that way, yet each individual’s speak contained their own nuances that could still be taken any number of ways. She could speak as honestly and spiritually as possible, yet there was always the chance someone would misinterpret her words. Such was the way of the Anjshé language. She only hoped Alec would understand.
“You are intrigued by him,” Ashan said, cutting the near-silence inside the car as he drove. “Aren’t you?”
Kai felt her face redden unexpectedly. She lifted a hand to hide it, but thought better of it. If she were to be honest with anyone, it would first be with her brother. “I admit there is an attraction, Ashan,” she said, a hint of a smile darting across her face. “His spirit is haunted, yet it seems so…” she stopped, searching for the right words.
“Trisandi?” Ashan mused.
Kai’s eyes widened. Trisandi! That had not occurred to her at all! Perhaps he was what the human race sometimes quaintly referred to as an old soul, wise beyond his years and not entirely comfortable with such wisdom. An old soul that was more ancient than it appeared. If his spirit were in fact from their ancient and shared homeworld of Trisanda, he could…he would be more important to the Awakening than anyone would have expected. She did not answer to Ashan’s question, continuing where she had left off instead.
“I think he understands more of the Awakening than he lets on. He even hides it from himself at times. There’s something in his aura that makes me think that he’s still afraid to confront it.”
Ashan nodded quietly.
He is more than human, Akaina, he said within. Yet he is no less an ancestor of Trisanda than you or I. Follow what your spirit sings to you, Akaina.
She nodded in return.
“And so…” he started, and let out a grumble. Clearly he wasn’t looking forward to this meeting either, but for very different reasons. “And so the students begin their studies, eichi. It is time for Alec and Caren to know the full truth.”
“Yes, but what truth, Ashan? Of their histories? Of their destinies? Of their True Selves?”
Ashan gave her a weak smile. “Most of those questions they’re capable of answering by themselves. Nehalé’s ritual did affect them, after all. I could tell during our last meeting. No, the truth we tell them is this: dehndarra Né hra nyhndah. We tell them that the only truth is their own, the truth they find within themselves.”
Kai winced at him. “They won’t know where to begin!”
“That is why we are here,” he added coldly. “We are here to set them off on their road. From there on in, they’re on their own.”
“But —”
Ashan glared at her. “They’re on their own, Kai. There is no other way.”
“Eyes forward!” Kai yelped, pointing ahead.
He turned away, shaking his head. “We can’t coddle them, Kai. You know that. We’ve gone over this already. You can show him who he truly is…but it’s up to him to perceive it…and to embrace it or withdraw from it.”
Goddess…she hated it when he talked down to her, doubly so when he drove recklessly in the process! She closed her eyes tight and shook her head. “You think he’s figured it out, don’t you,” she said quietly.
Ashan pulled up to a stoplight and turned to her again. “What are you talking about?”
“Alec Poe. You’re the one who’s afraid, aren’t you?”
“I’m not afraid,” he said defensively. “Concerned, but not afraid.”
“Of course you’re concerned!” she exclaimed. “But he’s been Awakened, Ashan, you just said it yourself. They’ve all been affected in some way…everyone in that conference room, in one way or another.”
“So what’s your point?” he asked, and hit the accelerator a little too quickly as the light changed to green.
Kai sighed, tiring of this game. He is a reality seer, Ashan, she said to him from within. One of the strongest and most feared. He is Mendaihu Gharra. If he is not trained soon, there is a chance he could become kiralla…or nuhm’ndah.
“One of the faithless…?” Ashan said aloud. “There’s no possible —”
“It is possible,” she said, touches of anger and sadness in her voice. “The nuhm’ndah are not exclusively Shenaihu or Mendaihu, you should know that.”
“Of course I do,” he said, equally angered. “But…I just didn’t think Alec Poe, of all people…”
Cho-nyhndah, she said.
Ashan did not answer right away. He drove in silence for quite a long time, at least until they made the last few miles to the public parking garage near the ARU building.
“Are you sure?” he said eventually. All the tension had drained from his voice.
“I’m positive,” she said. “I just need proof. I’ll bring him into the Light again today.”
“Be careful,” he said. He reached out a hand and touched her on the arm.
“I will.”