by Shayla Black
“Yeah.” Beck looked away, unable to stand the sympathy on her face. “Anyway, one night I found myself in an unfamiliar part of town and got caught in a gang war. One minute there was yelling. The next was all gunfire. When bullets started ricocheting, I dove for cover in an alcove, but the pings of slugs hitting the metal security gate scared the hell out of me.”
“Of course they did. Oh, my gosh.” Heavenly sounded horrified.
“When the police arrived, they shoved a bunch of gangbangers into their cruisers. Then I fucking ran for the Strip, where my biggest worry was dodging the crazy bums who thought they were Jesus. As I tore around this one corner, I nearly knocked a woman on her ass. That was Gloria. While I was making sure she was all right, a car pulled to the curb and a guy hollered out, ‘How much?’ She winked and sashayed to him with a smile.”
“Did you realize then that she was a…a hooker?” Heavenly asked.
Beck shook his head. “I had no idea why a pretty lady like her was standing alone on the corner in such a crappy neighborhood, barely dressed.”
“Seriously?” Seth snickered. “Had you been living under a rock?”
“A rock would have been better.” Beck chuffed. “Next thing I knew, Gloria said she didn’t give charity blow jobs. The guy called her names I’d rather not repeat, leapt out of his car, and charged her. I pulled a switchblade out of my pocket and told him I’d slit his throat if he didn’t leave her alone.”
“What did he do?” Seth asked.
“We got into it a little, but despite being sixteen, I was bigger. He tucked his tail and left.”
Heavenly gasped. “What happened next?”
“Gloria asked if she could buy me a meal in thanks. I hesitated, but when she offered me a shower and a night in a real bed, too…no way was I turning that down. She fed me at an all-night diner, then took me to her shitty apartment a few blocks away. We talked for hours. Once I got clean and slept, she made me a deal—protection in exchange for food and a roof. I couldn’t say yes fast enough. It wasn’t long before we got close. Eventually, she bought me a new identity so I could finish school without my family finding me.”
Heavenly looked stunned. “So…you’re not really Kenneth Beckman?”
“I am. That person I was before? He’s dead and gone. You wouldn’t have liked him anyway.” That was all he was going to say about that. “I studied hard in school. Gloria helped me financially through college, then med school. She saved my life.”
Heavenly squeezed his hand. “It sounds like you saved one another’s.”
“Gloria is one of the good ones. She still helps her girls obtain an education so they can stop making a living on their backs someday.” He paused, staring Heavenly in the eye, willing her to understand. “So, yeah. I have a million reasons to love Gloria, but I’ve never been in love with her.”
“She told me. And I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. That night, I was so euphoric after we…” She blushed.
“Made love?” Beck supplied helpfully.
She nodded. “So the call afterward about my dad’s relapse sent me into a panic. The last thing I expected while we were frantically dressing was to find out you were married. I can’t even tell you how crushed and betrayed I felt. And I was so shocked I couldn’t talk or think enough to ask questions. But why didn’t you tell me about Gloria before that night?” She turned to Seth. “Or you. I know you knew.”
Seth grimaced. “I suspected there was more to his story, and I figured he’d tell us. Plus…I didn’t want to lose you.”
“Honestly, I never thought Gloria would be an issue between us because she and I both saw our marriage as a formality, which we’d already agreed to end the previous Christmas.”
“She said you initiated the divorce.”
The truth might startle Heavenly, but Beck wasn’t going to pretend he wasn’t devoted to her. “Yeah. I’d decided I wanted to be free. For you.”
“Before we’d even started dating?”
“I already suspected you were the one.” He inched closer and stroked his fingers down her so-soft cheek.
Heavenly’s eyes slid shut as she nuzzled into his touch. “Beck…”
Emotion clogged his throat. Thank god she was no longer shutting him out.
Lifting her delicate fingers, he tucked his palm beneath hers. Seth reached over and placed his hand on Heavenly’s.
Once again, their trio was whole.
With a soft sigh, she squeezed his hand and rested her head on Seth’s shoulder.
“Anything else you want to know?” Beck offered, itching to claim her mouth.
When she shook her head in answer, he stole a quick buss, then forced himself to pull away. He couldn’t get distracted when they still had so much ground to cover. Then Seth sealed the circle by skimming his lips over hers as well.
Slowly, they parted, then Beck cleared his throat and did his damnedest to get them back on track. “I need you to make me a promise, little girl. And I’ll make you one, too.”
“What?”
“I’m not perfect, but I’ll do better about being honest with you. I know you had extenuating circumstances, but you have to swear you won’t ever shut me out without a word again. Nothing good happens when we don’t communicate.”
“I promise.” Contrition spread across her face. “I’m not usually that mule-headed, but you had just seen the worst parts of my life—my poverty, my dad’s condition, my desperation. And while I was at my most vulnerable, I trusted you.”
With her body. With her heart.
And he’d blindsided her.
Beck swiped away her falling tears. “You can still trust me. You have no idea how terrible I felt when you saw those divorce papers because I knew exactly what you were thinking. But it hurt that you didn’t care enough to want an explanation.”
“I just couldn’t handle more right then. My dad—”
“That’s why I didn’t try harder to tell you. Under any other circumstance, I would have tied your ass down and made you listen.”
“I believe you.” A watery smile flitted across her face. “You two make it hard to stay mad. After my mother left us, Dad made me promise I’d choose a man who put me first every day. You’ve done that over and over.”
“We always will,” Beck vowed.
“But I need something from you, too, angel.” Seth suddenly grabbed her chin, his stare tense. “You scared the hell out of us when you left alone. Do you know the things that could have happened to you?”
“I wasn’t trying to worry you.” Heavenly nibbled her lip.
“Promise you’ll never take off like that again. Right now.” Forget tense; Seth looked fucking fierce.
Beck scowled. Was Seth trying to run her off? “What he means is, we knew you had to take care of your dad’s ashes, but you didn’t tell us you intended to do it that day, especially all alone. Neither of us want you driving across the country while you’re grieving. If we’d known, it would have saved us a lot of panic. We could have helped.”
“I’m sorry. I needed to be alone with my dad one last time. And I needed to think. I still do.”
About what came next. About her future. About whether he and Seth were even in it.
Beck shoved that last possibility away. “We understand.”
Seth shot him a dirty scowl. “The fuck ‘we’ do. I won’t have you putting yourself in danger again. I fucking can’t—”
He vaulted out of his seat with a growl, frame taut, fists clenched. Everything about his demeanor waved red flags in Beck’s face.
When Heavenly reared back, Beck forced a laugh. “Maybe understand is a strong word. The truth is, I know some damn good cardiologists, but my heart can’t take a repeat of your disappearance. Neither can his. How about next time, you tell us what you need. We’ll do our best to help without stepping on your toes.”
Guilt shadowed her eyes. “I just didn’t want to—”
“If you say burden us again, I’ll take yo
u over my goddamn knee,” Seth warned, finger raised. “Promise me.”
She scowled. “I have managed to make it twenty-three years without being kidnapped, raped, or murdered. And you don’t own me.”
Beck didn’t love her answer, but when Seth’s eyes blazed and his nostrils flared, he knew shit was about to hit the fan.
He launched to his feet and grabbed Seth by the shirt before glancing back at Heavenly. “Give us a second.” Then he hauled the PI out by the pool. “Are you out of your fucking mind? You and your tantrum are shoving her out the door.”
Seth bristled. “I’m not trying to. I just want her to promise—”
“She’s not going to. We wouldn’t even be talking to her now if Gloria hadn’t called.”
The big guy whirled away and paced. “She promised you—”
“Yeah, to communicate. It’s an easy promise to make, especially when she hasn’t said whether she’s even coming back. But you’re hell-bent on chaining her down now. You’re not her daddy and you’re not her Dom. You need to back off until she’s ready to commit. If she’s ever ready.”
Seth scrubbed a hand down his face. “Do you even know how fucking horrific it is when a loved one is there one day and taken abruptly from you the next? I can’t go through that again, man.”
He clapped Seth on the back. His father’s death must have fucked him up bad… “I’m sure. But we stand a better chance of winning her back if we stop demanding and start negotiating. You know the old saying, it’s easier to catch flies with honey than vinegar?”
Seth glared at him in disgust. “My mom says shit like that.”
“Because it’s true. Now stop being an overbearing prick and maybe ask her to keep you apprised, huh?”
Shrugging off his touch, Seth sighed. “Fine. Just fuck off.”
“No more tirades?”
Seth rolled his eyes. “No more tirades.”
“Good.” He reached for the patio door. “I don’t know what this world is coming to when I’m the one keeping the peace.”
They reached the family room again to find Heavenly finishing the last of her java, apology on her face. “Seth, I never meant to worry you, but I am a grown woman. You can’t dictate what I do. You know that, right?”
“We know,” Beck assured.
“Do we?” She looked past him and focused on Seth.
He still didn’t look happy. “Yeah. Will you at least let us get you a plane ticket to Wisconsin and a dependable rental car?”
She hesitated. “I’ve never been on an airplane.”
Of course she hadn’t. Beck frowned. “Are you afraid?”
“Jumping off the bridge with you was way scarier, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t accept because I can’t pay you back.”
That set Beck’s teeth on edge. “We don’t expect you to. The money isn’t important.”
“Your safety is,” Seth ground out. “I’d be damn grateful if you didn’t give me another ulcer.”
“Are you sure?”
“We’re pretty much begging, little girl,” Beck pointed out. “And that’s something we never do.”
“All right. I’ll fly. Yesterday reminded me how long a drive alone can feel.”
While Beck barely resisted the urge to pump his fist in celebration, Seth exhaled in relief. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you.”
“We’ll get your flight booked this morning.” Beck wondered if she’d let them reserve a return ticket to LA. “Any idea what comes after you’ve seen to your dad?”
She shook her head. “I’m torn.”
Beck wished he could simply coax her to return home by dropping the L bomb, but it wasn’t that simple.
Fuck, he hated feeling helpless. He could control most anything on an operating table or a dungeon floor. But not Heavenly’s heart.
“Why?” Seth prompted.
“Well, when I moved to California, I always assumed Dad and I would someday return to Wisconsin and I’d buy back the farm.” She gave them a sad little sigh. “But I’ve always wanted to see the world, too. My dad knew and encouraged that. Then again, I have a whole life in LA now. So I’ve been trying to decide where I belong. I just don’t know.”
“How do you ultimately see your future?” Beck asked. “Farming? Traveling? Nursing?”
She shrugged. “That’s what I have to figure out. And I will. My head is just a jumble right now.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, not liking where this conversation had taken them. “Your father’s funeral was less than twenty-four hours ago. Of course you don’t have all the answers now.”
“I hate being so confused. But even if I could afford the farm, I don’t know how I’d feel about being there without Dad. What if Bayfield isn’t for me anymore? What if I love the memories more than the possibilities? And what if I decide to travel instead, but that doesn’t give me any clarity, either? Giving up a semester’s progress in nursing school for nothing seems stupid. On the other hand, if I go back to LA and resume that life, will I ever get the chance to see what else I’m missing?”
He understood her confusion. But if he and Seth were going to guide her and keep her close, Beck knew they had to tread carefully. “It’s not an easy situation. I know you want to see the world, but how will you do it without money?”
She shifted in her seat. “Raine lent me five thousand dollars. That’s more than I’ve had in my bank account in over a year. Since I only have myself to take care of, I could make that last a good while.”
Probably a lot longer than he and Seth liked. “What then?”
“Well, if the money runs out before I’ve made up my mind, I could take on work for a while, I guess.”
“Like at Bazookas?” Seth glowered. “That was a great job.”
Beck sent him a glare. Sarcasm wasn’t helping.
She frowned. “No. Once was enough. I only took that job because I was desperate to afford rent and my father’s meds. Now I just have to take care of myself and pay Raine back.”
“How long can you live like a gypsy?” Beck didn’t see her being happy like that.
“A few weeks. Maybe through the summer.” She shrugged. “But sooner or later, I’ll want a place to call home. I just don’t know where that is.”
“Why not LA?” he asked. “You have Raine, you have friends…”
“And you have us,” Seth added bluntly. “We want to spend our lives with you.”
“A part of me really wants that, too. You have no idea… But from day one, LA has felt overwhelming and terrifying. It’s been horribly disappointing. I was promised a recovery for my dad. We nearly starved. Now he’s gone. I know that if we hadn’t come, I never would have met Raine or you two. You all mean the world to me. But I can’t disappoint my dad…” She dropped her face in her hands. “I don’t know whether to follow my head or my heart.”
“And we can’t tell you. We just want you to be happy…wherever that is.” Caressing her crown, Beck choked on his words because, even if they were true, it hurt to say them. “But we’re hoping that’s with us.”
She looked up at them with tear-filled eyes. “I know. And I hate not having answers for you. You came all this way—”
“This isn’t about us,” Seth assured, then winced. “I admit I may have lost my shit a few minutes ago. Sorry.”
“You think?” Beck sent him a sardonic glance.
Seth flipped him off. “Let’s talk this out. We won’t ask for more right now.”
She shook her head, stare pleading. “Please. I just need time to myself. To grieve and think. Whatever I decide next, I want to be really sure. You deserve that. I’d never want to make commitments I can’t keep.”
“We know.” Seth clearly didn’t love it, but he gave her a self-deprecating grin. “And we’ll try not to push. At least not too much.”
“I get it. I’ve been alone and penniless, wondering where life would take me,” Beck assured. “I lucked into Gloria. Let us help yo
u now. No strings. Just know we’re here so that when you figure out what you want, even if that’s not with us, we’ll help you succeed.”
With a cry, she launched herself into their open arms.
As the PI wrapped his arms around her and dropped a kiss to her head, Beck palmed her waist and tried like fuck to imprint himself on Heavenly. Did she have any idea how much he loved her?
Gloria bounded into the family room then, Buddy beside her. “Good morning. I hope everyone slept well last night. I sure did.”
A grin spread across Buddy’s face as he slapped Gloria on the ass. “Me, too.”
“Eventually,” Seth drawled.
Beck sent Gloria’s fiancé a glare. “There’s a reason those little blue pills come with a warning to seek medical assistance after four hours.”
“Oh, take that stick out of your ass, Ken.” Gloria passed a mug to Buddy and clutched her own, seeming to float across the room like the happiest woman on earth.
Given what he’d heard last night, she probably was. He prayed Heavenly would give him and Seth the chance to make her every bit as happy again.
As the couple settled nearby, his soon-to-be ex-wife raised a brow. “Did you three get everything ironed out this morning?”
“I’m going to fly to Wisconsin.” Heavenly skirted the point of the question.
Beck provided the details and promised Heavenly he’d drive Raine’s car back to LA.
“That’s a start.” Gloria’s lips curled up. “Did you already book her flight?”
“No.”
Her smile turned sly. “Perfect. I have a steady client who owns a fleet of private jets. His pilots fly famous people all over the world. Let me give him a call.”
Gloria plucked her cell phone from the pocket of her robe and punched the screen before turning to Heavenly. “What’s the closest regional airport in Wisconsin?”
She named a town he’d never heard of.
“And when did you want to return to LA?”
Heavenly avoided wincing as much as she tried not to look their way. “Can I let you know?”
“No problem.” Gloria meandered into the kitchen to sweet-talk her client. Buddy followed, looking for a refill.