Somehow this was different. He could feel his heart pounding as though he’d just run the Boston Marathon. He’d seen people with limbs blown off, yet knowing Deanna was hurt was causing him physical pain. He needed information now. Josh must’ve sensed that as well.
“She fell and hit her head on the ground. She lost consciousness briefly. Her pulse and heart rate are good, considering the situation. The bleeding has subsided, but she has one heck of a lump on her head,” Josh reported as he continued holding direct pressure on the injury.
“Rafe, if that’s you, keep your voice down. My head is killing me,” Deanna moaned softly.
He’d never been so relieved to be told to shut up. Another moan escaped her lips. Even though Josh was telling him it all looked good, it still felt like a knife twisting in his gut. He’d led teams into battle against some of the most ruthless adversaries, yet right now he felt helpless. I should’ve fucking been there. He wasn’t clear exactly how it all went down, but knowing Josh had been on top of it was a relief. “Good thing you had your eyes open, Josh, otherwise she could’ve bled to death.”
“She’s going to be okay.”
“Is she hurt anywhere else?” Rafe asked.
“She hurt her—”
“I’m right here. I can talk for myself,” Deanna grunted.
Her spunky attitude said she was going to be okay, but that fact that she’d been hurt at all didn’t please him. They were in a less than friendly environment, and if she’d needed medical attention, they didn’t have a chopper close by to fly her out. For the moment he would breathe a bit easier, but he knew this needed to change; she had to leave. Not next month or next week. Rafe needed to convince her to leave with him tomorrow. To do that, I’ve got to get her to trust me.
“I’ve got this, Josh, why don’t you go and—”
“He’s doing fine, Rafe. Why don’t you go,” Deanna snapped.
Rafe knew he’d have to do some damage control if he had any hope of getting her to listen to him. She was still pissed at the way he’d spoken to her. He pissed women off all the time. But Deanna was different. He couldn’t walk away. Even though she was lying to him and his family, he owed it to Phoebe to watch out for her.
He was about to tell Josh to get the fuck out anyway, but instead, he was going to use his brother to his benefit. “What’s the difference, Deanna? I thought you didn’t trust any Turchetta. Or is it just me you find . . . difficult?”
Rafe noticed Deanna stiffened slightly before responding. So you didn’t know. He found that interesting.
“Yes. Just you.”
Deanna’s snarky response almost made him chuckle. Josh’s didn’t.
“He’s had more years to master being an ass.”
Rafe didn’t consider forty-two old, yet there was no missing Josh’s dig at his age. He shot Josh a warning look then nodded in the direction of the exit. No matter what, he knew Rafe called the shots. They needed to remember this wasn’t a vacation. They had to treat it like any other mission.
“You’re in good hands,” Josh said as he moved, letting Rafe take over.
Once Josh was gone, Deanna rolled onto her back, looking up at him. He could tell she was in pain. “Just relax. I’ve got you.”
“That’s what bothers me.”
Her words were meant to hurt. Rafe had long ago become immune to such things. He’d been called more names than he could count. Most he’d deserved. This was no different. Whatever she felt for him, he’d earned it. Rafe had told his team again and again not to judge before having the facts, yet he’d done the total opposite with her. It was unsettling, but even more, unacceptable. He expected better from himself.
“I know I’ve been . . . harsh.”
“You think?” she asked sarcastically.
He didn’t owe her an explanation. In fact, she was the one who was still hiding something. The truth of what happened to Phoebe. He wasn’t about to forget that. But now wasn’t the time to bring it up. The first thing he needed to do was make sure she was okay. The next was to get her and his team the hell out of Moreira.
“We can discuss it tomorrow. Right now, rest.”
She moved again as though trying to put some distance between them. When she moved her leg, he noticed her ankle was badly swollen. Josh hadn’t mentioned anything more than her head. That of course was definitely the greater concern, but he wanted to ensure her leg wasn’t broken.
“Stop moving. I need to check your leg.” Rafe barked his instructions as his hands gently moved down her calf and over her ankle. As he touched it, she winced in pain. Fuck. He couldn’t tell if it was a sprain or a break because of the swelling. “We need to get you to a hospital.”
Deanna popped herself up on her elbows and firmly said, “I’m not leaving.”
Rafe looked at her and said, “You’re not in the States. If it’s broken, you need it set properly, or you’ll always have issues. Or worse, you could get a bone infection and—”
“Die?”
He couldn’t believe how plainly she said it. That was exactly what he’d been thinking yet never would’ve voiced. “Then you understand the risk.”
She nodded. “No one understands better than I do.”
Rafe had a feeling they weren’t talking about her injuries any longer. At least not these. He knew the signs and had read enough to know the best way for one to heal was to talk about it with someone, to let your feelings out whether you yell, scream, or even cry. The worst thing one could do was bottle it all up. Guess that’s why I mastered suppressing mine. He couldn’t stomach dealing with his own shit, never mind trying to counsel someone about theirs. He knew his limitations, and women breaking down and crying was out of his comfort zone. He’d rather be locked in an interrogation room than experience that. Did that make him a total ass? Probably, but he couldn’t change who he was.
“Deanna, we can talk about whatever you want once you’re back in the States.” It was a promise he had no intention of keeping. She shot him a look that said she wasn’t buying it. Damn, you’re stubborn. His way was the only way, and she was about to learn that. Changing his tone to one he used with his men seemed to be what was called for. “This isn’t up for discussion. You’re going to be on a plane back home as soon as I can get you to the airport.”
She opened her mouth then shut it. Good. Rafe was relieved that she realized there was no point in arguing.
“I’ll make the arrangements.”
In a voice so soft he wasn’t sure he heard her correctly, she said, “You’re free to leave anytime you want.”
“You’re not staying.” His voice was louder than he wanted, and he was sure people outside were not pleased with him, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t like they were going to barge in and stop him.
“I didn’t come all this way just to leave.”
“Things have changed.”
“No they haven’t, and that’s the problem, Rafe. Nothing here has changed. It may never, but I have to try.” Deanna’s voice cracked as she tried to make him understand.
He’d been in her shoes many times before, deployed in places that needed him, but he’d learned early on you couldn’t save everyone. But she’s one I refuse to lose.
“You can always come back after you heal.”
“My ankle is not broken.”
“And your head? You could have a concussion.”
“Rafe, it will take a lot more than a hit on my head to stop the . . . to prevent me from doing this.”
Stop what? Was it nightmares or guilt that was torturing her? Maybe a bit of both from what he’d learned.
He’d known he was getting her the hell out of there even before the injury. This accident just advanced the timetable. David’s reports of movement meant things were heating up again. It pissed Rafe off because there was nothing linking Deanna to the threat except coincidence. His gut never let him down, and she held the answers . . . or at least information which would lead him to them. No matter how b
adly he wanted answers, there was no way he was going to leave her in harm’s way. “I’m not telling you not to do it.”
“Good, because I’m not a child, and I don’t have to answer to anyone. Especially you.”
Rafe wasn’t sure how he’d made it to the top of the list. She could hate him for all he cared, as long as she got her sweet ass on that plane. At a time like this he wished he had some of Josh’s charm with the ladies. Instead, he had no choice but to resort to what he knew.
“Then quit acting like one,” Rafe said sharply.
Her eyes widened in shock. Finally, he seemed to have her attention. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Deanna. All you’re going to do is hinder the others from doing their job when they are stuck waiting on you because you’re laid up. If you truly want to help the women of Moreira, your ass will be on that plane in the morning.” He got up from where he was and stopped before leaving the tent. He didn’t want to see her face when he spoke next. “Guess we’ll find out if you really care or if you are just blowing smoke out your ass.”
Rafe talked to her as though she was one of the men on his team. It was cold and cruel. All he could do was hope it worked. Otherwise, she was going to become a liability here, and he would be focused on her and not the bastards who seemed to be working on a plan.
Rafe walked past the volunteers who had gathered outside her tent and headed toward the clearing.
“Rafe, that was really fucked up.” Josh’s voice rang through the earpiece. “She’s hurt and—”
“Needs to be on that plane. I made that happen.” It wasn’t his shining moment, and if she was lucky she’d be around long enough for him to apologize one day. Sorry, Phoebe. I know she’s your friend, but right now she’s all I have to go on.
Rafe wasn’t above using Deanna to obtain what he needed, but he wasn’t going to risk her life to get it. I’m an ass, but I still have honor.
As he headed to continue his conversation with David, he knew his brothers probably would question that right now.
She couldn’t believe it. Rude was the nicest word she could use to describe his behavior. Deanna knew Rafe wasn’t easy, but that blew her mind. He’d barked orders at her as though she reported to him. She couldn’t believe anyone would tolerate that kind of treatment. The only thing that stopped her from telling him off right then and there was the fact he’d walked out of the tent. When she’d tried to get up, there was no way she could put pressure on her foot.
Deanna had been left no choice but to call for assistance. It’d been heartbreaking and frustrating as hell, but she’d known Rafe was right. Staying would have been a hindrance to the project. No matter how badly she wished there was another way, she had to do what was best for everyone. This trip had never been just about her.
Knowing Rafe was probably gloating about being right made her sick. The man’s ego was big enough without her feeding it. Now she was stuck in the back of a Jeep with her leg propped up on Josh while they headed toward the airport.
“He’s honestly not that bad,” Josh said.
They hadn’t spoken since they’d left the camp. If the conversation was going to be about Rafe, she preferred silence. “That’s nice,” Deanna said without looking in his direction. She didn’t know why it mattered to her. Rafe was nothing to her. She’d been able to have years of friendship with Phoebe without ever coming in contact with him. Deanna would be happy if it stayed that way.
Josh didn’t seem to be taking her hint. “If he’d thought there was any other way, he’d never have spoken to you like that.”
If she had to listen to Josh, he was about to get an earful as well. Facing him, she let out everything she’d wanted to say to Rafe. “First of all, I don’t buy that bullshit. I was there. I saw the look in his eyes. He meant every word he said. If he could’ve, I think he would’ve dragged me out and thrown me in the back of the Jeep himself.” Her hands trembled as the words spat from her. She never lost her cool like that. And Josh had only been kind to her. He didn’t deserve to get his head chewed off. Rafe, on the other hand, did.
Deanna expected Josh to argue or at least be shocked, but he didn’t seem affected by her tone. Guess if you deal with Rafe all the time, listening to me is a piece of cake.
“If it wasn’t for David, I think Rafe might have done just that.”
David, who was driving, said, “Yeah. He was pretty pissed.”
Although she liked knowing his brothers seemed to have her back, she didn’t know why they needed to. What had she done to get Rafe so upset? “What am I missing?”
“What do you mean?” Josh asked.
One thing she’d figured out early on was the Turchettas weren’t your average family. Even Phoebe had been highly intuitive. Was Josh playing a game of innocent ignorance? Probably. I would if the shoe was on the other foot.
“I mean what is it about Rafe that makes you think he’s not such an . . .?” She’d been tempted to call it as she saw it. He was a complete and utter ass, but she needed to soften her words a bit. Not for them, but for herself. Doing anything else was only going to give him more power over her than he seemed to have already. “Difficult man.” That’s an understatement.
“He’s always been a . . . difficult man. After Phoebe died, he got worse.” She could tell Josh was holding back, but he had given her a direction to go in. One she’d already taken into consideration.
Deanna didn’t want to feel bad for him. He’d done nothing to earn that. “All of you lost a sister, not just him.” She took herself out of the equation. Her own pain had no place in their world. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
“We did. As the oldest, Rafe seems to believe it was his sole responsibility to protect her. When that didn’t happen he—”
“Chose to bear all the burden himself,” Deanna added.
Josh nodded. “There really is a lot more to him than he’s letting you see. If you give him a chance—”
“I’m not out to hurt him or judge him. All I want to do is finish what we . . . I started.” Deanna didn’t want to bring Phoebe into this. Although she would always be with her, she needed to separate her feelings from her duty. If not, she’d become an emotional basket case. Not that I’m not already.
“Exactly. Rafe loved Phoebe, and it practically killed him when we lost her. Somehow you being here has triggered something in him he can’t control.”
Deanna asked, “You mean like flashbacks? Memories?”
Josh shook his head. “We’re all used to dealing with those. This is something different. I can’t put my finger on it either. All I know is he’s not the same man around you.”
She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing, because he wasn’t very nice. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to . . . upset him.” That didn’t mean she hadn’t enjoyed pushing his buttons a few times. With this revelation, she felt bad for even doing that.
“I’m not sure the word is upset, but you’re definitely messing with his head.”
Deanna turned from him and looked out over the landscape as they approached the airport. She didn’t know what Josh was trying to tell her any more than he probably did. Rafe was as hard to understand as Moreira. Could he be angry at her because she lived? Yes. Could he be angry because of the close relationship she had with Phoebe? Also possible. From what Josh told her, it seemed like he was as trapped in his own pain as she was. And I’m probably making it worse.
That explained why he didn’t accompany her to the plane. The last thing he needed was to see her. A reminder of what is gone.
Deanna fought back the tears as she said goodbye to Moreira once again. There was a piece of her that would always be there. She hated leaving when they needed her so badly. Shadoa.
In all the uproar over her ankle, she’d forgotten about what had been distracting her in the first place. Grabbing Josh’s arms, she said quickly, “Stop!”
When David slammed on the brakes Deanne bounced off the seat and landed on the floor, wed
ged between the seats. The pain shot up her leg, and she thought she’d pass out.
“What the fuck is the matter?” David shouted from the front.
Deanna noticed Josh had his weapon drawn and was scanning the perimeter while covering her the best he could.
“What did you see?” Josh asked, never taking his eyes off the surrounding area.
“We need to go back right now,” Deanna exclaimed.
Josh looked down at her, his gun still up and ready. “Did you or did you not see something?” His tone was not much different than Rafe’s earlier.
Deanna realized her mistake immediately. These men weren’t just Rafe’s brothers. No matter how levelheaded they seemed, they were trained soldiers in a hostile environment. Their reaction to her panic-filled scream reminded her of that.
“I’m sorry. I remembered something. We need to turn around,” Deanne said in a much softer and calmer tone. From the look on Josh’s face, he still was in a high alert mode. “It’s okay. Or at least I think it is. I just need to go back and make sure.”
Josh shook his head. “We’re not going back. Whatever it is you forgot, we’ll have it mailed to you.”
She couldn’t believe they thought it could be something so insignificant. “I wish you could, but this doesn’t take postage. It’s a person.”
Josh arched a brow then tapped his earpiece. “She wants to return.”
Deanna couldn’t hear the response, but she didn’t need to. She already knew what it was. That didn’t mean she was going to quit so easily. Reaching out her hand, she demanded, “Give me that thing.”
David had gotten out of the Jeep and was standing nearby with his weapon drawn as well. “Do it.”
Josh removed the small device from his right ear and handed it to her. “Just talk. He can hear you.”
She placed it in her ear and said, “Rafe, I need you to listen to me.”
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