“You don’t have to continue if it’s too difficult.” Her soft voice wafts over my soul as her hand soothes me.
“No, you need to know,” I insist. I take a deep breath and say, “I came home and initially she was excited to see me. She wasn’t able to visit me when I was still overseas and when I got back, she was busy with work.” Personally, I think she could’ve tried harder because I know I would’ve, but I’ve come to realize that Jessa is somewhat self-centered. “We uh, we went to bed that night and things were going well until she saw my scars.” Mandie leans back and I watch her eyes scan me.
“You have scars? I don’t see them,” she admits.
“Because I’m clothed, sweetheart. The explosion from the RPG that was launched at us caused injuries to the left side of my body. She said a bunch of shit about how I was a monster and repulsive and well, I ended up developing what the doctors said was idiopathic erectile dysfunction.”
“She did what?” Mandie whisper-shrieks. “What a bitch! You were alive and that should’ve been the most important thing, not the fact that you have scars, for fuck’s sake.” I hide my grin because she tries not to swear, so I know that she’s incensed. A small part of me loves that she’s upset on my behalf and I’m man enough to own that. “Damn, Matt, I’m so sorry. That was cruel and insensitive of her. What happened then?”
“I left and bounced around a bit until Reese tracked me down and gave me a home with the Black Tuxedos. Been here ever since.”
“How did you get involved in construction?”
“My pops. He had his own company and as soon as I could walk, he took me with him. I had my own kid-sized tools and would ‘help’ him. Until I left for the military, I worked with him every chance I had. He taught me everything I know. When I finally got out, we decided as a club to make that one of our businesses.”
“My foster mom, Mama T, added on to what my mom had already taught me as far as cooking and stuff.”
“Looking forward to tasting more of your cooking, sweetheart. If that sandwich you made me is any indication, I’ll definitely enjoy it,” I tell her. I see her hiding a yawn and lean over to turn out the light. “Why don’t we get some sleep, sweetheart? It’s been an eventful few days, especially for you, and I know you’ve got to be exhausted.”
She snuggles even closer to me and nods. “I’m not sure if it’s my body realizing that I’m home or what, but suddenly I can’t keep my eyes open.” I lean down and capture her lips with mine.
“Good night, Mandie. Sleep well,” I whisper against her lips. Someday, she’ll be exhausted for an entirely different reason.
13
Mandie
It’s been a few weeks since Matt and I got married and we’ve settled in like, well, an old married couple. I giggle to myself as I swap the clothes from the washer into the dryer, then start another load. He’s at church right now, something that he explained they do at least once a week, so I figured I’d do the laundry and get it caught up for at least a few hours. Aria gave us a bad night and I’m worn out. With both kids now lying down napping, I decide to join them, Champ at my side. “C’mon, boy, let’s see if we can get a little shuteye before those two wake back up.” He wags his tail and follows me to our room, where I crawl over into the middle and pull Matt’s pillow close. Surprisingly, living with him has been easy. I hate comparing, but Alistair was messy, and Matt is so neat, it’s almost freaky. However, it’s had some positive benefits because now Aria makes sure that she picks up all of their toys at the end of the day. I caught her telling Beau, who was just babbling as he crawled around, that it was important to make sure that everything was put away where it belonged so they could find it again.
“I’m happy,” I whisper out loud. We still haven’t had sex, but he’s very free with his touches and kisses. I also haven’t seen the scars he mentioned on our wedding night, but honestly, no matter how bad they are, I’m not going to give that first shit. He’s more than any scar and he has come to mean so much to me, even in this short time, that his actions supersede his looks.
Champ woofs softly at me and I grin. “Everything okay with the kids?” I ask. He always checks on them when they’re laying down. He woofs again, his tail wagging, before he plops down onto the doggy bed next to Matt’s side. We’re supposed to move into the new house this weekend and I’m excited because that means we can set the office up. I got my diploma in the mail the other day too and Matt said that once we got everything moved in, we’d be having a party at the clubhouse to celebrate both events. They sure like to get together, but I’m not going to complain. I’ve been alone for so long that having friends now is awesome. Not a day goes by, even the ones where I work, that I don’t talk to one of the other old ladies, and Shayla has handed the clothes that are too small for Meli down to Aria. Plus, she’s going to teach me how to sew.
I fall asleep while creating a mental to-do list of everything that’s left to pack before we move.
Whining wakes me up as I slowly open my eyes. “Champ?” I call out, hearing him bark. Coughing, I sit up in the bed and look around, unsure of what I’m hearing. “Smoke? Why am I smelling smoke?” I murmur as I get out of bed to investigate. As I make my way to the kids’ room, I can see the hallway engulfed in flames and Champ is standing in their doorway, frantically barking. I realize then why I’m smelling smoke as well as what the noise itself was — the smoke detectors.
“Aria, Beau!” I cry out, running toward their room. As I breach the doorway, Champ by my side, I see that they’re still asleep. Knowing I don’t have much time, I race over to Beau’s crib and scoop him up, blanket and all. “Aria, sweetie, wake up,” I yell. When she opens her eyes, I notice she’s coughing and realize the smoke has gotten that much worse. “Hold onto my hand and Champ’s collar,” I instruct.
“Mommy, it’s hot,” she wheezes out.
“I know, baby. We’ve got to get out of here.” I look back down the hall and take a deep breath because we’re going to literally have to go through fire to get out of the house. “Don’t let go, sweetheart.” I’m terrified right now, but I have to save my babies. Beau starts crying as we move down the hall. It’s slower going than I’d like, and I wish I was able to pick both of them up. When I hear crackling, I decide to chance it and lean over and scoop her up on my other hip. “We’ve got to run, Aria. Hold on to Mommy,” I instruct.
Long scary moments pass as I maneuver us past the fire and out the front door, Champ right by my side. The new SUV that Matt bought for me is far enough back that I decide to set the kids inside while I call for help. “Mommy, you is on fire,” Aria says once I’ve put her down next to the SUV. I quickly open the door, thankful that I forgot to lock it, and motion for her to get inside while I put Beau in his car seat.
“Buckle him up, Aria,” I command. I don’t know if it’s because of the adrenaline rushing through me or what, but I don’t feel any pain as I drop down to the ground and proceed to roll around, just like they taught us in school many years ago. Who knew I’d need to know how to do that?
My last thought before darkness descends is that I’m grateful I got the kids out. It doesn’t matter about me; they’re safe and so is Champ.
Matt
“We’ve got three new contracts,” I advise when Reese calls on me for a report. “Plus, a possible fourth, but I told them I needed to bring it to the table first because it’s huge.”
“What is it?” Porter asks. I grin at him because as his enforcer, we’ve gotten close.
“Some developer wants to build a new strip mall outside of town. If we do it, we’re going to need to hire another crew so that we don’t keep anyone else waiting.”
“We can do that,” Reese advises. I see Chrome, our secretary, jotting everything down. A lot of our guys are quiet, but they’re a good fit for the club. “Chrome, go ahead and get an ad worked up so we can hire on some new guys. We need people with experience, but I won’t overlook anyone who is just starting out since ther
e’s something they can probably do.”
I nod. “I agree. There’s definitely work that the unexperienced or less experienced people can do and who knows, if they do well enough, we may keep them on because that might generate even more business.”
“Gotta keep our women happy,” Nick states. “And with all the babies that’ll be popping out, kids as well.” The room fills with laughter at his words, because the three old ladies who are pregnant are already keeping their men on their proverbial toes.
“True,” Reese says. “Okay, if everyone is in favor concerning this new contract, then Matt, you reach out to the developer and let him know so we can see his plans. Now, I need to see what y’all think about expanding the tattoo parlor. We’re getting busier but don’t have the room to bring in another artist unless we find a bigger place.”
“Why can’t we build our own?” Porter asks. “That way, we make it big enough so it can expand again if we need it to.”
“Man, y’all came with your ‘A’ games today,” Reese replies. “I actually have a piece of land in mind that would be perfect, and it’s already zoned for commercial use.”
Doughboy, our treasurer, glances down at his tablet then over to Reese. “Is it the one off Main Street?”
“Yeah, where those old warehouses used to be. They finally razed them, so the property is ready to be rebuilt.” I watch Doughboy do something on his tablet again, nodding the whole time.
“Want me to put a bid on it online?” he asks Reese.
“You can do that shit?” Reese questions.
“Yep.”
“If everyone’s in favor, then absolutely,” Reese replies. We go around the room and when the vote is unanimous, Doughboy bends over his tablet again. When he looks up, he nods at Reese, who grins. “Kinda liking this twenty-first century electronic shit.”
There’s a knock at the door and I see Porter glare before he yells, “Come on in and this better be fucking good.” When the prospect, Garrison, opens the door, he looks equal parts terrified and nervous.
“Uh, I’m sorry for barging in, but Matt’s phone keeps ringing.” As one of our prospects, he’s charged with doing anything we need him to do until he gets patched in and today, he’s the ‘keeper of the phones’ during church.
“Who on earth would be calling me? Mandie knows we have church, so it wouldn’t be her, and my appointment for one potential job isn’t until later.”
Garrison stammers before he says, “Um, actually, that’s who has been calling.”
My heart starts pounding in my chest as he hands it to me when it starts ringing again. At Reese’s nod, I hit the accept button then put it on speaker because I have a feeling that I’m going to need my brothers. “Mandie? Everything okay, sweetheart?”
“Is this Mandie Matchum’s husband?” a female voice asks.
“Actually, her last name is Ferguson now, but yes, this is her husband. Where’s my wife? Who is this?” I question, already standing.
“Your wife and children were brought into the emergency department,” the voice says. “We need consent for treatment.”
My mind is whirling; when I left, she was planning to stay at home because Aria had a rough night. What could’ve happened that all of them are at the hospital and they need consent? “Yes, go ahead, I’m on my way.” I disconnect the call without even asking what happened; my goal is to get to my family as quickly as possible.
As I slip my phone in my pocket, I notice my brothers standing and they follow me out as I practically run to my bike. Without concern for our normal formation, I’ve got my bike started and am careening out of the clubhouse parking lot. It’s not long before my brothers are surrounding me. While it doesn’t take long to get to the hospital, I still feel as if time has stopped. We quickly park and I run to the emergency room door, grateful it automatically opens. I notice the desk and rush over there, my brothers at my back.
“Can I help you?” the nurse sitting there asks.
Before I can say anything, I feel Reese’s hand on my shoulder as he states, “We’re here about his wife, Mandie Ferguson. We understand she and the kids were brought in.”
The nurse does something on the computer, and I see the expression on her face before she quickly masks it. “Ah, yes. Can you follow me please?” She stands and with no other recourse, we follow her into a room that’s off to the side. “The doctor will be in shortly,” she says before leaving.
“What the fuck could’ve happened? Even if Aria got worse, Mandie would’ve been able to give consent,” I murmur.
Nick, who was looking down at his phone, says, “Matt, it looks like there was a house fire.”
My heart drops and I feel like I can’t breathe. Memories and flashbacks bombard me, and I find myself slipping out of the chair and onto the floor, my hands behind my neck. “Fuck. No! No, that can’t be possible.”
Reese, Nick and Porter surround me. “Let’s just wait to see what the doctor says, brother. She might not have been able to give consent because of smoke or something,” Reese says. My mind, though, is trapped in memories from a decade ago, when I was burned so badly, I thought I would die. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy and knowing that my woman and kids might be experiencing that has my heart breaking in a million pieces.
Before I can say anything, a doctor walks into the room. “Mr. Ferguson?” he questions, looking at all of us. Reese reaches down and helps me up, and as I walk toward the doctor, my brothers surround me. Their presence is calming, despite my terror at what I’m about to hear.
“That’s me. How is my wife? My kids? What happened?” I fire off question after question, not allowing him to answer. He waits me out, however, a fact I’m grateful for because I know I’m not being rational.
“There was apparently a fire at your home this morning. Your wife got the kids out of the house but was injured in the process. We’re treating both children for smoke inhalation, especially given your daughter’s history.”
“Where are they?” Reese asks. I’m too choked up right now and can’t speak after the doctor tells us what happened.
“The children are up on the pediatric floor. We have them in the same room since they’re siblings. Your wife is in the burn unit,” he states. I’m torn; I want, no I need to see Mandie, but I know her first concern will be for the kids, so I probably should check on them first. Even though I should probably ask him what degree burns she sustained and how her body was affected, right now all I really care about is that she’s alive and our kids are okay. The rest we can worry about later since she’s mine regardless of how badly she’s hurt.
“Let’s go, brother, so you can see your kids before your wife. You know she’s gonna wanna know how they are,” Nick states.
I nod before saying, “Thank you, doctor. For everything.” Based on how folks normally react when they see a biker in his cut, I’ve been very impressed that he treated us normally, instead of like second-class citizens.
“Your wife is a brave woman from what I understand. The paramedics who brought them all in said that the house was fully engulfed when they arrived. Apparently, a neighbor saw it and called it in, but didn’t realize anyone was at home. It wasn’t until the paramedics arrived with the fire department that they found your kids in their car seats and your wife on the ground, unconscious and injured.”
Once again, my heart clenches hearing his words. I know the pain that Mandie will experience. While a lot of the nerve endings die after a significant burn, not all of them do, especially at the outer edges of the burn itself and the treatment itself is excruciating. At least I can help her through that part. As a group, we walk out of the room and toward the elevators. Reese presses the button for the pediatric floor once we’re finally all inside and we wait, the tension palpable, until the elevator doors open on to the pediatric wing.
I see a nurse and ask, “Can you tell me where the two kids who were in the fire are? They’re my children.”
“Aria and Beau
? I’m taking care of them today,” she replies. “Follow me, please.” We follow behind her, eliciting stares from the personnel as well as other parents, yet I don’t give that first fuck. I need to put my eyes on those two babies who have wormed their way into my heart already. As we walk into their room, I can’t fight the smile despite the seriousness of the situation.
Both of them are in the same bed and Aria is curled around Beau, her arm across him in a hug. I quickly pull out my phone and snap a few pictures so I can show Mandie. “They’re asleep?” I question, moving so I’m at their bedside.
“We have them under sedation so that the oxygen we’re giving them will help clear out their lungs,” the nurse replies. “They’ll likely sleep all night and I have your number on file if anything comes up. I’m sure you want to go check on your wife.”
“I do, thank you.” The relief I feel seeing the two of them sleeping is all-encompassing and my eyes grow wet thinking about what could’ve happened.
“They’re good, brother,” Reese murmurs. “Let’s go check on Mandie.”
“I’m glad y’all are here,” I reply. “The only thing I don’t know is where Champ is at. No one has mentioned him.”
Nick looks at me then says, “I’ll go see what I can find out, brother. You just take care of your family right now.” I give him a chin lift before I lean over and reach through the holes in the oxygen tent so I can touch each child. Once I’ve put my hand on each of them and can feel their little bodies moving with each breath, my heart eases slightly.
Matt - The Black Tuxedos MC Page 11