Grannie Panties Are UnderRated

  “No shit? He’s gay?”

  “I shit you not, my friend. He’s gay and interested.”

  Mitch leaned back and rubbed his hands together in delight. “Holy fuckballs!”

  Elle smiled. She was thrilled to help Mitch. “You just might say that turning twenty-four is highly underrated.”

  “Well, it would be appropriate for me to end the evening in my birthday suit. Are you sure you don’t mind seeing Tak again?”

  “Not at all. I can handle him.” Elle was lying again. She wasn’t at all convinced she would know what to do when she saw Tak, but she had been such a shitty friend to Mitch, it was the least she could do. “Tonight is all about you.”

  Mitch reached for Elle’s hand. “Thank you, Elle. I know I’ve been a bit of a prick lately, but it’s only because I miss you.”

  “Don’t you dare apologize! I’m the one that’s been the wanker. You’re my best friend. I’ve missed you more than you can know.”

  “You’re aces, kid. Let’s drink to that. Best friends!” Mitch struck his bottle against Elle’s.

  “Yes, best friends going to London. Whoop! Whoop!”

  “London! I can’t wait. What do you say we rock and roll Cleveland? Apparently, I’ve got an appointment with a hot young Japanese man.”

  “Yes, perfect. Let’s go!”

  It was perfect. Elle had made a mess of things, but she would right her wrongs. Tak and the hard partying would soon be things of the past. She would spend more time with Mitch. Europe was going to be amazing.

  Elle was excited for Mitch and excited for them. Good times were ahead; she was sure of it.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The English Beat: “Mirror in the Bathroom”

  May 10, 1994

  11:15 p.m.

  Mitch and Elle ignored the interminably long line of party-goers waiting to get in to Samantha’s and went straight to the front door, where they were immediately ushered in by two bouncers dressed in white blazers over pastel T-shirts.

  Entering the club, Elle was relieved to see that the table where Tak liked to hold court was blissfully empty. So far, so good. She guessed he was up in his office, supplying soccer players with cocaine. Hopefully, he would stay there. Kenji would be off work soon and once he was with Mitch, she could leave.

  It was loud in the club. Elle had to raise her voice to be heard. “Do you see Kenji?”

  Mitch shook his head. “Let’s head to the bar.”

  News that the Japanese national soccer team was at Samantha’s must have gotten out. The club was teeming with young women provocatively dressed and angling to meet the players. Mitch pushed his way through the mass of young people, leading Elle by the hand. He stopped suddenly and pointed toward the bar. “Holy shit. Brazilian soccer players—overrated/underrated?”

  Elle had been blindly following Mitch’s lead. She looked up.

  Mama mia!

  Ahead of them, surrounded by a circle of Japanese women, was a group of the visiting Brazilian national team. Although they were all attractive, it was the one in the middle who most caught Elle’s eye. With his icy blue eyes and blonde hair that cascaded down to his shoulders, he stood out amongst the other players. He was tall and his dress shirt, the same striking blue as his eyes, was unbuttoned nearly to his naval, showing off a large gold chain around a perfectly toned and hairless chest.

  Elle’s mouth dropped. “Underrated. He’s hot! Let’s go talk to them.” Kenji could wait a few minutes. This would be fun.

  The crowd of Japanese women made room for Mitch and Elle to join them. Elle introduced herself to the Adonis soccer player. “Hi, I’m Elle. What do you think of Japan?”

  He responded with a smile, eyeing Elle approvingly. “Oh! So much better now.” He held her hand to his lips. “I’m Gustavo. Can I get you a drink?”

  “Sure!” Elle was impressed by the feel of Gustavo’s hand—it was rough and strong, not manicured and soft like Tak’s. Elle also liked his accent. It was earthier and more masculine than the singsong Japanese one she had become accustomed to.

  “What’s your pleasure?” Gustavo bent down to speak directly into Elle’s ear so he could be heard above the noise in the crowded club. The warmth of his breath tickled her ear and made her tingle.

  Elle couldn’t think. “Beer . . . anything. Whatever you’re having.”

  “All right, I’ll get us two beers.” Gustavo rubbed her back. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve seen since I’ve been in this country.”

  Elle’s stomach fluttered. She was flattered and felt especially feminine next to Gustavo’s massive broad shoulders. She was anxious to continue talking to him but desperately needed to pee. “I’m just going to run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back, okay?”

  Gustavo nodded and turned toward the bar to order their drinks. He towered over the other bar patrons, and everyone seemed small and insignificant in his presence. Elle started toward the bathroom and saw Mitch talking to another group of soccer players. She stopped and tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

  “Oh my God, he’s so fucking hot.”

  “That he is.”

  “I’m going to pee. I’ll be right back.”

  “Okay.” Mitch pointed to the other Brazilians. “These guys are all straight as an arrow. I’m going to go look for Kenji.”

  “Yes, you should, birthday boy! I’ll catch up with you in a little bit.”

  As Elle turned her back to leave, Mitch grabbed her by the shoulder. “Elle—wait.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Be careful, okay?”

  “Don’t worry. I’m just flirting a little.” She hugged Mitch and added encouragingly, “Now go get Kenji!”

  There was a long line for the bathroom, but the regular customers, recognizing Elle as Tak’s girlfriend, let her pass to the front. She was appreciative and proud—she was important.

  Elle lit a cigarette as she squatted down to pee. Although Tak had an American-style toilet retrofitted for his office, he had kept the traditional Japanese-style ones in the bathrooms at Samantha’s. By now, Elle had perfected the squat and was proud that she had mastered the ability to both pee and smoke at the same time. Elle looked at the Hello Kitty purse she had put to the side on the floor and considered the cocaine in it. There was just a teeny tiny bit left, enough for maybe one last line. Earlier, she had vowed to flush it down the toilet.

  Should she do that now? No, she would hold-off until she had made sure Mitch was all set with Kenji. Tomorrow she would absolutely get rid of it.

  Elle finished peeing and quickly washed her hands. She wanted to get back to Gustavo. It was fun to flirt with someone new. It was so over with Tak. She couldn’t possibly be with him anymore. Still, Elle dreaded the conversation they would need to have; she had no desire to talk to him. It sucked they needed to go to Samantha’s to see Kenji. It would have been better for her not to be there.

  Shit. What if she saw Tak? What would she say? Elle thought of the coke in her purse, of how much it would help her get through the night. She would do just one last line; she needed it in case she ran into Tak. But that would be the end of it. Really. She would never do coke again.

  Elle looked around the bathroom. It would be rude of her to cut back in line and go into a stall again. She decided to snort the line right there. She could be discreet. No one would care. Besides, Elle was in a hurry. Gustavo was waiting.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  4 Non Blondes: “What’s Up?”

  May 11, 1994

  12:11 a.m.

  Elle was so fucked up, it seemed like the floor was moving beneath her feet. She shouldn’t have done that last line of coke in the bathroom, and she definitely shouldn’t have drunk so much with Gustavo. That last shot of Jäger had really put her over the edge.

  Elle watched with dizzy satisfaction as Kenji got off work behind the bar and approached Mitch. Mission accomplished! She could leave now—and not a moment too soon. It was fun to fl
irt with Gustavo, but Tak could show up any minute.

  If only she weren’t so drunk. Elle wanted to lie down—everything was spinning. She needed to go home, to call it a night. She should try to get a taxi . . . she couldn’t do it. It was too much of an effort. Better to just go up to Tak’s office and crash there. Yes, that was the best thing to do.

  Still, Elle hated to leave Gustavo. Before saying good-bye, she got the name and room number of the hotel where he was staying. She would call him tomorrow when she was officially single again.

  As Elle staggered up the stairs to Tak’s office, she had to stop several times to get her bearings. Everything was blurry and unclear. Why wasn’t there bread at Japanese restaurants? If she had eaten bread at dinner, she wouldn’t feel so fucked up now. Elle hoped Tak wouldn’t be in his office. It would be better to deal with him sober. If he was there, she would just ignore him and head straight to the futon—the new one she insisted he get so she wouldn’t have to think about all the other women he had been with.

  Elle stumbled into Tak’s office. He was sitting on the edge of his desk. Mike and Johnny were on the futon.

  Shit! Why did they all have to be there?

  Elle approached the futon. She needed to lie down. “Get off, you losers.”

  Mike and Johnny looked at each other.

  Hadn’t she been clear? Elle tried again, this time speaking more deliberately. “Get off!” She pushed against Johnny’s chest. “Leave . . . GO!”

  The two stood—a bit reluctantly, Elle thought—and she waved them off with a dismissive “Buh-bye!” Elle had no reason to be such a bitch, but she couldn’t help it. The Jäger had totally jacked her up.

  As Mike and Johnny left the room, Tak considered his girlfriend. “You very drunk.”

  “Yeah, so?” The room was really spinning now. Should she try to make herself throw up?

  “I no like. Mitch bad for you.”

  Elle knew better than to engage with Tak. She was too wasted, yet she couldn’t abide his talking shit about her best friend. Mitch was none of Tak’s business, and she didn’t appreciate being told what to do. “It has nothing to do with Mitch. I don’t know why you can’t be nicer about him. You know he’s my best friend.”

  “Man best friend, no good. I say many time, you need girlfriend.”

  Elle wasn’t in the mood for this conversation. “Whatever, Tak. Just shut the fuck up and leave me alone.” Elle was surprised by her aggression but didn’t regret it. Tak was being a dick, and she could always blame it on the Jäger. That stuff was evil.

  Tak’s face turned bright red. He grabbed Elle by the shoulders. “I say, no more Mitch. He bad.”

  Elle squirmed away from Tak’s grip. Who did he think he was? She stood up unsteadily. “No more Mitch? I don’t think so.”

  “I SAY NO MORE MITCH.” Tak shook his head so wildly, Elle worried it might spin off like a top. He leaned forward and tried to grab her again.

  Elle moved away. She was really pissed off now. “You know what there will be no more of? Me, carrying drugs for you.” Elle looked around for her Hello Kitty purse. Where was it? She wanted to get the plastic container out, to throw it at Tak, to see it break into a thousand tiny pieces. To make it go away.

  “Drugs for me?” Tak shook his head. “Drugs for you!” He pointed his finger in Elle’s chest. The slight force made her lose her balance. She had to catch herself from falling.

  “For you, for me, who cares? It was wrong.” Tak was being such an asswipe. Elle didn’t deserve this. “And I’m not doing coke anymore. I’m done with that.”

  Tak laughed. “You high now.”

  “No, I’m not,” Elle lied. Why had she done that last bit of coke? She should have flushed it down the toilet like she had intended. She was too wasted. She needed to get it together. “I’m done with you—with all of this. I’m leaving.” Elle turned to go, again looking for her purse. How could she not see a Hello Kitty purse?

  “You no go. You do I say. No more Mitch!” Tak squeezed her by the shoulders again, this time more firmly. It hurt, and Elle winced in pain.

  “Get your hands off me. I’ll see whoever I want.” Elle no longer cared about the Hello Kitty purse. She needed to get out of there. She pulled herself away yelling, “Fuck you! I’m leaving!”

  Elle hadn’t meant to go that far, but there it was.

  Her words hung uncomfortably in the air for a few moments, suspended in time as Tak took them in. Elle was satisfied by his silence and turned to leave. As she did, Tak yanked her hair with one hand, causing her head to whip back. With his free hand, he hit her across the face. A hard, punishing backhand that caused her head to recoil.

  Elle fell to the ground. Fuck! That hurt. Tak’s pinkie ring—the same one she had seen covered in blood a few weeks ago—had dug into her cheek. Elle reached her hand up to her face. Had he really hit her? Is that what this had come to?

  Tak paced around the room, his fists clenched at his side. “Why you make me do? Stupid girl.”

  Elle gingerly stood up, cradling her cheek in her hand. Tak was right about one thing. She was a stupid girl. Incredibly stupid and she had been for a long time now. She should have listened to Mitch.

  Dazed, Elle spotted her Hello Kitty purse on the ground. Her instinct was to flee before Tak could say or do anything else, so she reached for the purse and quickly ran out of the office, slamming the door as she left.

  Elle walked unsteadily down the stairs into the club. Unfortunately, the argument had done nothing to sober her up. Things were even fuzzier than before. It was too noisy, too crowded; Elle couldn’t think. She needed to find Mitch—he would know what to do. Elle hoped he was still at the bar and headed in its direction. As she tried to make her way past a large group of giggling Japanese women, she made eye contact with Gustavo.

  He raised his glass toward her. “Elle, come here. I missed you.”

  Elle waved back to him weakly. Her cheek throbbed. Where was Mitch?

  Gustavo took several steps toward Elle. The crowd parted in his wake. He was so strong, so damn hot. He reached his hand out to hers. “Come—dance with me!”

  Elle grabbed onto his hand to steady herself. Was there a mark on her cheek? Would Gustavo be able to see she had been hit? Nothing made sense, not even the music in the background. Elle couldn’t hear the song, only felt its loudness. She became light-headed and tripped. Gustavo reflexively caught her, lifting her up with both hands.

  “Are you okay?” His embrace was secure, safe.

  “Blondie!” Above the noise of the crowd, Elle heard Tak. She turned to see how close he was and saw the group of giggling women making way for him to get through.

  Fucking dick.

  Elle looked back up at Gustavo. “I’m good.” She took his hand. “Follow me.”

  Gustavo obliged, first taking a large gulp of his beer. “Yeah, sure. Let’s go.”

  What was she doing? Elle wasn’t sure of anything but her need to keep ahold of Gustavo’s hand, at least until she found Mitch. She loved the feel of his hands. They were solid. Masculine. Gustavo had the hands of a real man.

  Elle spotted Kenji by the cloakroom. This was good, it meant Mitch would be nearby.

  “Erre!” It was Tak again. He had given up on ‘Blondie’ and was now like a scolding parent using a child’s full name. He was getting closer.

  Elle turned and looked at Tak. He was urgently waving to her, his eyes expressing sorrow. He mouthed the words “so sorry.”

  Elle held his gaze for a few moments. He was sorry? As if that nullified what he had done. No, he hurt her—now it was his turn to suffer.

  Elle turned toward Gustavo. He was so tall she had to stand on her tippy toes as she pulled his head down and cupped both her hands around his mouth, the way Tak did with her. She kissed him passionately. Gustavo placed both hands around Elle’s ass, leaned into her, and returned her kiss.

  How do you like that, dickhead?

  Elle and Gustavo made out for
what must have been several minutes—surely long enough for Tak to see them. Elle came up for air, holding on to Gustavo’s face for balance. Everything was hazy, everything but Gustavo’s eyes. They were clear. Icy blue and clear. Elle needed those eyes; his gaze steadied her.

  She took Gustavo by his strong, reassuring hands and led him into the cloakroom. Elle didn’t dare look around. Tak was likely close behind, and she was afraid to make eye contact with him. Off to the side, she saw Kenji watching her.

  Good. He’ll go get Mitch.

  Gustavo shut the door to the cloakroom. It was spring and warm, so the racks were barren except for a few empty hangers. Gustavo and Elle kissed again, his hands slowly and purposefully exploring her body. She loved those hands, the feel of his rugged, manly touch. Elle wanted him; she wanted to submit to his strength and masculinity. She was safe with him.

  Gustavo continued kissing Elle and reached into his pants pocket. With one hand he pulled out a gold square condom package. He stopped kissing Elle long enough to tear the package open with his teeth. He then took the condom out and gently held Elle’s face in his hands. He looked her in the eye. His expression was earnest, like he wanted to make sure what was about to happen was wanted.

  Where his icy blue eyes had been clear and piercing a few moments earlier, they now seemed cloudy. Elle tried to focus on them, but everything was spinning. She held onto Gustavo and tried to get her bearings.

  This is wrong. She was still Tak’s girlfriend. If he would hit her for mouthing off, what would he do when he found her in a room alone with Gustavo?

  Elle was afraid to find out. She pushed Gustavo away. “No, wait. Stop—I can’t.” Before he could protest, Elle ran out of the room. She was going to throw up.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Hozier: “Take Me to Church”

  May 11, 1994

  11:06 a.m.

  Mitch

  Sex—overrated/underrated?