Natural Impulse

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Natural Impulse Page 18

by Anna Durand


  Peter patted his wife's hand. "You need a nudge in the right direction sometimes, that's all."

  She nodded. "That's why I adore you, Peter. You're more than the love of my life. You're my conscience too."

  "No, you don't need me for that. You always do the right thing, eventually."

  "Because you show me the way." Sheryl turned back to her daughter, and her eyes glistened with what seemed like tears gathering in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Mara. I love you, and I'm more proud of you than you could ever imagine. Despite everything I've done, you have grown into a strong and capable woman. You run that apartment complex without any help from me or your father, and you stood up to me when I went too far."

  Mara opened her mouth, closed it, opened it. She did that several times before she managed to speak. "Thank you, Mom. But I'm far from perfect. I've screwed up so many times---"

  "No, don't do that. Do not dismiss your accomplishments." Sheryl leaned forward, and the tears pooling in her eyes shimmered even more. "You are a better, stronger woman than I could ever hope to be. Don't let anyone, not even me, tell you otherwise."

  "You've never told me I'm not worthy," Mara said in a hushed voice. "I decided that's what you meant every time you told me how to behave like a proper lady. I was so afraid of screwing up and embarrassing you and Dad that I never did anything I really wanted to do. That's my fault, not yours."

  "I made you feel that way. It wasn't my intention, but that doesn't change the fact I made you feel unworthy." The tears rolled down Sheryl's cheeks. "If I ever say anything about being proper again, don't listen to me. Listen to your heart, Mara, always. I let my mother convince me that being proper was the only way to survive in this world, but she was wrong. Find your own way."

  Mara started crying too, wiping the tears away with her fingers.

  Peter draped an arm around Sheryl's shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "It's okay, Sher. Everything's okay. Now that Mara understands why you are the way you are, she won't be afraid anymore."

  "That's right," Mara said, sniffling. "I might have accidentally wound up staying at a nudist resort, but being there has made me realize I need more out of life than being accepted by the upper-crust elite. I don't care about any of that. Not sure what I do want, but I know I need to change my life."

  Peter handed his wife a napkin.

  She blew her nose delicately. "I want you to do whatever makes you happy. Promise me you'll do that."

  "I will, Mom."

  The ladies excused themselves to go powder their noses, which I figured meant they needed a few minutes to stop crying and splash some water on their faces or whatever women did to freshen up after a round of tearful confessions. Guys didn't do tearful confessions, so I had no idea what happened after something like that.

  Peter and I talked about sports while we waited for our girls to come back. We were in the middle of a debate about which baseball team would win the World Series this year when I spotted a waiter leading two people toward an empty table across from us.

  I froze. That was Heidi and Nico.

  They couldn't be on a date. Heidi would never go for a jerk like Nico Marshall. Would she? Nah, she had to be trying to make me jealous or something.

  Jeez, was I really that narcissistic? Thinking Heidi wanted me so badly that she'd hook up with Nico to get my attention. That had to be the dumbest thing I'd ever thought.

  Nico settled onto a chair at the table, not more than fifteen from where Peter and I sat.

  The waiter pulled out a chair for Heidi, who smiled and said something to him, probably "thank you."

  Of course Nico hadn't bothered to get her chair for her. What a douche.

  Heidi noticed me, her eyes flaring wide for a heartbeat, then she smiled and waved.

  I waved back.

  She waved at Peter too, who reciprocated.

  When Nico saw me, he puffed up like a baboon who'd claimed his mate and wanted every other boy baboon to know she belonged to him. He aimed a smug smile at me.

  Did he really think I'd get jealous? Did he think I'd care if he dated Heidi? Well, maybe I would---but not because I still had feelings for her. She was a nice girl, and I didn't want to see her get tangled up with somebody like Nico. Heidi deserved a lot better.

  Mara and Sheryl came back to our table, giving me a great excuse to stop wondering what Nico was up to with Heidi. She was an adult who could make her own decisions.

  The music started up again.

  I guessed the band had taken a break, though I hadn't really noticed the lack of music. The conversation between Mara and her mom had kept the four of us distracted from everything else.

  Nico got up and offered Heidi his hand. "Let's dance. You look so beautiful in that dress, it's a shame to waste it by just sitting here. I'm so lucky to have a date with a woman of your caliber, and I want to show you off to the world."

  What a load of bullshit. I could practically smell it, that's how deep he'd shoveled into the shit to dig out that smarmy line.

  Heidi blushed and took his hand, letting Nico lead her out onto the dance floor.

  No, she couldn't be falling for his bullshit. Heidi was smarter than that.

  "Ollie," Mara said sharply.

  I realized I'd zoned out on the conversation at our table and smiled at Mara. "Sorry. What were you saying?"

  Her gaze sharpened on me like a laser beam zeroing in on its target. "Dad asked if you've ever gone fishing."

  "Oh. Yeah, sorry, I missed that." I faced Peter. "No, I've never gone fishing. Is that something you like to do?"

  "Yes," Peter said, "I used to take Mara with me sometimes, until she got older and lost interest in it. Maybe both of you could join me and Sheryl on the boat sometime."

  "Sounds awesome."

  I couldn't stop myself from glancing at Nico and Heidi as they walked onto the dance floor and he took her in his arms, smiling and saying something that made her laugh.

  Mara jabbed me in the side with her finger and whispered, "What are you doing? You haven't taken your eyes off Heidi since she walked into the restaurant."

  Leaning in close enough her parents wouldn't hear, I said, "I'm worried about what your ex-husband is up to with Heidi."

  "That's their business, not yours."

  "I know, but Heidi's kind of...too trusting for her own good."

  "Maybe you should go tell Heidi you're still in love with her."

  "Why would I do that? I'm not in love with her."

  "Are you sure about that?" Mara said loud enough for her parents to hear. "You haven't been able to stop looking at Heidi since she showed up the other day."

  Nico was watching us and smiling like the smug baboon he was.

  He must've noticed Mara's angry expression. I needed to calm her down and explain things, but I couldn't do that with Nico the Numbskull watching. He'd probably break out a bag of popcorn and munch on it while he enjoyed the show.

  "Let's go outside and talk," I said to Mara. "Please."

  "Fine." She hopped up. "Let's go."

  She half walked, half ran toward the front doors.

  And I hurried after her.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Mara

  What was wrong with me? I never got hotheaded. I cowered in corners and got so anxious it made me nauseous, but I never confronted anyone. Well, I had tonight. I'd confronted my mom, and she hadn't blown up. Instead, she'd confessed the truth to me, about how Grandma made her feel and how she did the same thing to me. But nothing my mom said had upset me as much as the way Ollie kept staring at Heidi.

  I shouldn't be jealous. Right? It was dumb. Ollie wanted to be with me.

  So why did he care so much about Heidi going on a date with Nico? He ought to be glad about that, since it meant Nico was losing interest in getting me back.

  Unless Nico was using Heidi as a ploy to make me jealous.

  I marched halfway across the parking lot, havin
g no idea where I was going, before I stopped and spun around to face Ollie.

  He raised his hands, palms out. "I am not in love with Heidi. I never was. We dated for five minutes last year, that's all."

  Before I responded, I took a moment to calm myself with slow, deep breaths. "You were staring at her. And it was obvious you didn't like her being with Nico."

  "Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want her back."

  "Even if you don't love her, you're still attracted to her and still feel something for her. During that charades game, you couldn't take your eyes off Heidi."

  "Because I couldn't figure out what she was supposed to be acting out."

  "You looked like you really enjoyed leering at her naked body."

  "Come on, Mara." He threw his arms up. "We were all naked. It's a nudist resort."

  "And I'm the uptight city girl who won't take her clothes off." I hugged myself, suddenly feeling chilled. "Maybe you belong with someone like Heidi, someone who's not tied up in knots with all these hang-ups and anxieties."

  Ollie strode up to me, grasped my upper arms, and looked me straight in the eye. "I want you, Mara. Only you. But Heidi is a nice girl, and I don't want her to get hurt as part of some scheme Nico's cooked up to make you jealous."

  "I'm not jealous."

  He leaned in closer, his lips hovering a hair's breadth from mine. "I'm not jealous either, not of Heidi and whoever she goes out to dinner with. The only time I get jealous is when Nico looks at you." One side of his mouth slanted upward. "I didn't like it much when Damian looked at you either, and he's my best friend."

  "I get jealous whenever Heidi snuggles up to you. It's awful, and I don't want to feel that way, but I can't help it."

  He brushed hair away from my face, his finger grazing my skin. "Heidi never snuggled up to me. She tried to kiss me once, but I told her I'm not into her anymore. She gets it, I think. But even if she doesn't, I have zero interest in her---except as a friend."

  "Oh. Good." Having him so close was making me...tingle. I should've moved away, but I couldn't convince my body to do it. "I have zero interest in Nico, in any context."

  "Glad to hear it." He slid an arm around my waist, drawing me closer until our bodies met. "Maybe I better show you how I really feel."

  I couldn't catch my breath, with his body molded to mine and the heat of him penetrating me. "That's not necessary. I believe you."

  "But I've always been better at show than tell."

  He thrust his free hand into my hair, cradling my head so he could tip it back, curving my neck. With a soft groan, he dragged his tongue up the column of my throat, leaving a trail of moist heat on my skin. The air cooled the moisture, making goosebumps raise all over my body and my knees go weak. I clutched at his shirt to keep from collapsing at his feet, but every thought fled my brain when he danced his tongue over the sensitive skin just under my ear.

  "Oliver," I breathed.

  He pulled my lobe, and my diamond stud earring, between his teeth and licked it.

  My knees buckled.

  Ollie held me up with his strong arms and murmured in my ear, "Do you understand now?"

  "Yes. I---" My voice failed me when he sucked on my lobe and tugged on the diamond stud with his teeth. "Oh, Ollie..."

  He lifted his head to look at me. "Told you I was better at showing than telling."

  "Mm-hm." I laid the back of my hand on my cheek. "You definitely know how to set me on fire from head to toe."

  "Because you show me what you like, without saying a word." He pushed a hand between our bodies, cupping my mound. "I love finding every way to drive you crazy."

  I tilted my hips forward, pushing his hand more firmly into me. "You make me feel wild and free, like I can do anything and nothing bad will happen."

  "How wild are you feeling right now?"

  "Like I want you to throw me down on the hood of the nearest car and fuck me."

  He glanced over my shoulder and sighed. "Better save that for next time. Your parents are coming this way."

  "Oh." For the first time ever, I didn't panic at the idea of someone catching me in an intimate moment with a man. Instead, I turned toward my parents and said, "We'll meet you at the car."

  They veered in that direction.

  Ollie held my hand while we made our way to the car. He kept holding my hand on the drive back to the resort, and he didn't let go until we walked through the door to my room. Our room. I wanted to make love with him, but he suggested tonight had been emotional and everybody needed a good night's rest. I had to agree. The evening's events had taken a toll, and I was ready to sleep.

  Once we got in bed, he kissed my lips tenderly. "Not sure I can control myself. I might wake you up five times overnight to make love to you."

  "I wouldn't mind that."

  "You need to rest." He kissed me again. "There's always tomorrow."

  After another kiss, a long and sexy one that made me tingle again, we curled up under the covers together, naked. I'd always wanted to sleep naked, but it had seemed like an improper thing to do, so I never tried it. I'd slept naked all night with Ollie once before, but going to bed in the nude still seemed wild and sinful.

  And I loved it. The feeling reminded me of Ollie.

  I woke in the morning in a fantastic mood, well rested and energized for the day ahead. Ollie had left me a note explaining he had to get up early to handle office duties, so I should go ahead and have breakfast in the dining hall with the other guests. He promised to find me later. And he signed the note, "Love, Ollie."

  Once I'd done my usual morning routine---face washing, moisturizing, putting on makeup, fixing my hair---I got dressed and headed for the door.

  Someone knocked on it.

  Was it Ollie? He'd implied I wouldn't see him until after breakfast, but maybe he'd gotten his chores done earlier than expected. The prospect of seeing him again made me almost giddy, so I flung the door open.

  Nico leaned against the jamb. "Morning, Mar-Mar."

  "I hate that nickname, and you know it." I tried to push past him, but he thrust out an arm to stop me, so I glowered at him. "Out of my way."

  "We need to talk."

  "No, we don't."

  He moved in front of me, forcing me to shuffle backward. "I didn't sleep with Heidi."

  "She turned you down? What a shocker. I knew she was a smart girl."

  "Oh, I could've fucked her if I'd wanted to. I can spot an easy lay at a hundred feet." He stretched an arm out to take hold of a lock of my hair, twining it around his finger. "But I was more interested in your reaction to seeing me with Heidi."

  "Get out of my way."

  "Not until you admit you got jealous." He leered at me, roving his gaze up and down my body. "You and Ollie got in a big fight after that. He's jealous of me being with Heidi, and you're jealous of her for being with me. We've still got a connection, Mar-Mar. Stop fighting it."

  "Oh please." I tried to squeeze around him, but he managed to bar the entire doorway with his body by spreading his legs and arms. I glowered at him again. "If you don't move on your own, I'll make you do it."

  He laughed. "Little Mara thinks she's a superhero. That's so damn cute. You can't even get in an elevator unless somebody pushes the buttons for you."

  "You don't know me at all."

  "I'm the only one you can be with. Ollie Jackson will get sick of you eventually, and you'll realize the truth."

  Fisting my hands at my sides, I gritted my teeth and hissed, "Go. To. Hell."

  Then I backed up a few steps and took a running start before swinging my leg up to kick him in the gut.

  Nico flew backward, landing in the middle of the hall flat on his ass.

  While he lay stunned, I rushed past him and down the hall to the office door. I knocked, but he didn't answer. I turned the knob, finding it unlocked, and swung the door open.

  No Ollie.

  I spun around just as N
ico roused from his shock.

  He lifted his head to look at me. "Damn, Mara, what's gotten into you?"

  "Liberation."

  I stepped over him on my way to the stairs. Just as I reached the landing, Nico called out to me.

  At the bottom of the staircase, I swerved left to head for the dining hall. My feet stopped moving so suddenly I almost tripped over my own toes.

  There, halfway between where I stood and the door to the dining hall, Ollie leaned against the wall with a naked Heidi plastered to his body. He wore his work uniform. Heidi was puckering her lips, leaning in for a kiss, all but begging for it. He held her head in both hands like he was about to lay one on her.

  My heart pounded. My head grew light and wobbly, or at least it felt that way. My hand flew to my chest all on its own accord, and I couldn't breathe.

  Ollie noticed me. His eyes bulged, and he shoved Heidi away.

  She tumbled over backward, landing on her rump.

  "Mara," Ollie said, hurrying toward me. "It's not what it looks like."

  "What's going on?"

  "She was trying to kiss me, but---"

  "Looked like you were about to kiss her."

  "No." He bracketed my face with his hands. "I was trying to push her away. Heidi's stronger than she looks, and she was really determined. I couldn't push her away too hard or I might accidentally hurt her." He glanced over his shoulder at Heidi and winced. "Looks like I hurt her anyway."

  Heidi was sitting on the floor massaging her ass.

  I guessed he had needed to be more careful pushing her away, but still, he'd taken who-knew-how-long to even try it. Was I being irrational? I had no idea. Nico had made me feel like a foolish, stupid girl for so long that I didn't know if I could trust my own instincts. They urged me to believe Ollie. I'd known him for such a short time. What if I trusted the wrong man again? Gave my heart and soul to the wrong man again?

  The adrenaline from my confrontation with Nico had me wired. I knew that, but I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it.

  Ollie gazed into my eyes with such earnestness that it made my chest ache. "I care about you, Mara, a hell of a lot. Please believe me, I don't want Heidi---or anyone else."

 

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