Rewriting Stella

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Rewriting Stella Page 14

by Tuttle, Dan;


  first lesson in their textbook: hot and sour

  soup. That’s inane, he thought, what savoir faire

  does book expect from us in supper hour?

  Meals could be key… Rules mesmerizingly

  constructed, he found growing appetite

  for grammar. What book said were wise strings he

  would copy dutifully, in hope it might

  cement word-order rules inside his head.

  His prof considered rote recall not dead.

  113.

  With focus more rehearsed, Ai sat right next

  to Abu at the desk. She worked on math.

  Though doing well by grade, its use perplexed

  her. She perceived it part of trodden path

  that China used to force-rank students, so

  the need for high performance was quite clear.

  She feared she might have already plateaued,

  which shook the falsity that engineer

  was her desired life track, a lie she kept

  in recognition she’d need to support

  her parents as they aged. That broad precept

  the public swallowed easily. Purport

  to go in risk’s direction, and you play

  a gamble with your kin’s halcyon days.

  114.

  “Wǒ xiǎng hē yī wǎn suānlàtāng,” Ab asked

  that night at dinner, poorly. Eyebrows raised.

  They passed the spiced soup as requested, grasped

  his rudeness as of language learning phase.

  “Dāngrán,” said Long, then “hǎohǎor xǔexí,”

  encouraging his guest to study hard.

  He pleasured in host’s purvey – serving tea –

  but on each pour against full cup would guard.

  In switch to English, Stella asked, “I saw

  you fill each cup just two-thirds full then pause.”

  He twinkled, “Our tradition says it’s flawed

  to top it up.” “But why?” Stel asked. “Because

  it tells your guest that you’d like them to leave.”

  That logic, Stella thought, was misconceived.

  115.

  They sipped and supped. Ai’s cup soon nearly ran

  completely dry. She left one dime-sized drop

  in base of porcelain. Like serviceman

  her father poured from pot refill near top.

  Ai’s index and her middle finger tapped

  the table absentmindedly. “I’m used

  to chai with breakfast,” Stella then recapped,

  “with milk and spice and sugar.” Long, bemused,

  said, “Sounds like something England left behind.”

  Imperials had quite traumatically

  scarred both their states, in different time and kind.

  Ab irked naïvely and dramatically

  his hosts by broaching smold’ring theme that blows

  the even-tempered into furies’ throes:

  116.

  “Did China have a conqueror?” he posed,

  eyes innocently scanning ’round the room.

  Wide pupils glimpsed looked down. He sensed he’d nosed

  into a topic better left entombed.

  Ai’s mom jumped in, “Our history’s complex,

  with dynasties, invasions, wars, and clans.

  It’s hard to say that we have been annexed,

  but there were many overlapping hands.”

  Then Long spoke up, “The China of today

  is unified and stable. We can thank

  the Party for creating that walkway

  from chaos.” (Ai bobbed head.) “Each file and rank

  is focused on development within.

  It’s jobs and growth that help new China win.”

  117.

  The mother riffed on hist’ry, “Stel you know,

  tombed author who you mentioned, that Xue Tao,

  was known for more than that portfolio.

  Her curiosity and tech knowhow

  helped her invent new paper-making means.

  Her papers had these finely detailed lines

  and rosy tinge that no other machines

  in her time could create. She’s now enshrined

  less as inventor, more as poet. But

  do not forget her whole life she combined

  mixed interests that to others were somewhat

  confusing.” “We, too, haven’t been confined

  to boxes others had for what we ought

  to do,” Abu replied. “Is that what’s taught

  118.

  in Tanzania?” mother asked, surprised,

  with hint of curling lip upon her face.

  “Not really,” he explained, “you’ll be chastised

  for choosing things that aren’t so commonplace.”

  He paused, and thought, continued, “If it’s grades

  you stand out with, you’re fine. You’ll get ahead,

  see university. That mercy fades

  if how you live your life is odd instead.”

  Her lip unbent, resumed its steady state,

  compression lines of smiling smoothing out,

  said, “I think you’ll be able to relate,

  then, to the ways that expectations route

  our kids’ directions.” “Nonsense,” stiffly snapped

  Jiang Long to wife, “you still need to adapt

  119.

  to modern times and what’s required! Right now

  our country needs more educated youth.

  Those scientists and engineers allow

  our state to shed its infancy, to tooth!

  We’re masters now of making nature ours,

  we reroute rivers, seed the rains, we plow

  straight through the earth, control when floods discharge.

  We’ll use the stores with which we were endowed

  to exit poverty, selves redefine.

  We know the way: technology and math,

  construction, planning, that’s what moves mankind.

  Lǎopó, don’t see me as a sociopath,

  we’ve talked through this before—what’s culture when

  our lives are doomed by famines yet again?”

  120.

  “My husband,” she said slowly to the guests,

  “fits squarely in the Party. His view’s that

  our future’s all about where we invest.”

  “You liked that once,” he added. “Technocrats

  are necessary, Jiang, agreed. But what

  I liked was that your vision was so big,

  and you had eye for nuance Party’s shut.”

  The dragon’s souring face gulped down a swig

  of tea to squelch belch fire and left the meal.

  Without discomfort’s pause, the mother turned

  to Stella, saying, “I hope you freewheel

  for yet some time, it does some good. Concern

  for how to get ahead pollutes kids’ minds.

  Young years are not for competition’s grind.”

  121.

  Throughout these interactions, Ai sat mum,

  eyes following each speaker’s volleyed points.

  Stel felt it wasn’t first time that she’d swum

  these choppy waters. “China disappoints

  me, how it’s turned our kids into machines

  that memorize instead of think. That’s why

  we send Ai to your school. It contravenes

  the expectation Party’s unified

  with common people; that’s a risk we took.”

  To hear divergent views on Chinese life,

  society, and politics had shook

  Ai’s view compliance was prime role of wife.

  Too many fragment thoughts to keep the thread

  of conversation, Abu asked instead,

  122.

  “I haven’t asked how you learned English. Your

  pronunciation’s near American.”
/>
  “Born there. My family moved twelve years postwar

  to San Francisco. The hysterics when

  the Communists prevailed had scared my dad.

  He had an uncle living there who’d split

  through Taiwan midway through the war. He had

  a little business, said he could commit

  some small sum to my father if he came.

  So I grew up in schools that weren’t like this.

  To me that’s sugar. Ours are aspartame.”

  She seemed to like the chance to reminisce.

  “Of course, I had to work a lot, and go

  to Chinese school on weekends. That helped sow

  123.

  the seeds for an eventual return.”

  She paused, her head a-tilt. She said, “Wait here,”

  to indicate they hadn’t yet adjourned.

  Abu looked bright. She left, then reappeared

  with what she called a ‘souvenir’, a slight

  and aging book named Brocade River Verse.

  “What left my family constantly contrite

  was how the Gang of Four somehow coerced

  the country to destroy its artifacts

  and culture, starting 1963

  when I was born. They torched text and land tracts,

  erasing history. Back then, ‘bourgeoisie’

  was label put on anyone who tried

  preserving them or not falling in line.

  124.

  In California mom read that to me

  as bridge to homeland’s hist’ry they’d destroyed.

  Till eight when we moved back, this imagery

  laced dreams, as bedtime stories filling void.”

  She tossed the book on table ’tween the two

  rapt guests. “Although there’s no heroes inside,

  each page now read reminds this ingénue

  rebellion’s free—my mind’s not occupied.”

  She coursed out, taking dishes to the sink.

  Stel tightly gripped the poem book resting there.

  Abu sought desk again to start to ink

  calligraphy as homework. Stel, ensnared

  by words on title page, found author’s name

  ‘Xue Tao’ was who she’d seen in park’s tombed fame.

  125.

  But each one perches on its own branch, Stel

  recalled from note she’d found aground. She paged

  through poems, and saw the right had English, spelled

  out clearly, annotated. Left had aged,

  distinguished Chinese script in running style,

  like Middle English to the learnéd eye.

  Ten thousand common characters compiled

  their modern speech, Lao Yan had clarified.

  But literary scholars needed more,

  the foreword claimed, to understand the shades

  of nuance in linguistics’ old decor.

  Light lines of ink formed fern-tipped promenades

  of thousand years ago, when feudal lords

  commensally lived ’longside nature’s hoards.

  126.

  BLING interrupted reverie with bark

  at Huhu, who mistook him as more food.

  Stel asked Ai if she wanted to embark

  on dog walk to help BLING be more subdued.

  She nodded. “Back in Tanzania, I

  could leave BLING out to roam the fields. We’d find

  enough ways to have fun. We loved to lie

  down in acacias’ shade.” “Dad did not mind

  you outside play?” Ai asked, incredulous

  no supervision freed kids to do stuff

  past what classrooms required. “He’s dead. To us,”

  Stel pointed head toward BLING, “us is enough.”

  That no one knew that BLING existed kept

  Stel from adverse attention’s intercept.

  127.

  Ai walked as if competing, not in stroll.

  “Ai, why are you in such a hurry? It’s

  a Saturday.” Ai paused, “I have two whole

  math homeworks.” Stella felt at edge of wits.

  “Come on! Ease up. You heard your mom explain

  she doesn’t need you at the top in grades.”

  “Choice is not mom’s, choice is not mine,” complained

  Ai, “country make the choice.” “No, there are shades

  between. You have some say.” “No, life is race.

  Mom someday old. And Dad too. I can take

  much care for them if studying can place

  me in Běidà…” (the college that can make

  a plutocrat of anyone) “and we,

  the kids, soon be China’s economy.”

  128.

  Stel didn’t know herself how parents shaped

  their children’s views on virtue, duty, need.

  In empathy she let off footfall’s brakes

  and moved at pace that Ai strove to proceed.

  Once home, Ai hastily retired to books

  of calculus. Loud English radio

  was playing on the stereo. It looks,

  Stel thought, like Sichuan airwaves play the show

  I listened to at home. By that she meant

  the VOA, Voice of America.

  Quick channel flip showed local complement

  called Xīnhuá. Latter seemed generic, the

  aired stories sounded fluffy. She heard not

  a single disagreement driving plot.

  129.

  On Monday Shi Laoshi conducted drills,

  expecting weekend mostly spent at work.

  Abu and Stel sat facing her. She grilled

  them each in turn. It’s not like Stella shirked

  assignments, she’d just spent one day on them

  and that was half of what Abu had done.

  She hadn’t thought a teacher’s RPM

  could question at that rapid of a run.

  “Wǒ hěn xǐhuān mǐfàn,” Stel tried. “Wǒ hěn

  xǐhuān chī,” teacher said, “mǐfàn gèng hǎo.”

  In here, Stel realized, no credit’s won

  for nearly-perfect answers. Just allowed

  were sentences as memorized, err-free,

  or “dàjiā dōu bù huì míngbái nǐ.”

  130.

  Right post-interrogation marathon –

  two hours with but a five-min bio break –

  kids tottered arm-in-arm as pair to lawn

  instead of cafeteria. Heads ached.

  They’d learned that hunger’s best reserved for facts

  about Chinese, and stomach’s needs could stay

  in second place. “Prepare for more attacks,”

  Abu nudged Stel on seeing boy make way

  toward them. “He’s rude one from last week’s affront.”

  “His walk’s not quite as stiff as last time.” He

  looked like he’d borne an equally sore brunt

  from scolding as had they. Accordingly,

  they didn’t scamper off when he collapsed

  on seat, with slumping shoulders, sulk unwrapped.

  131.

  Ignoring him, they waxed about the days

  when expectations had been minimal,

  no adult sentinels to disobey.

  To use time as they’d then seemed criminal,

  the constant looking back on times that flew.

  Be born, be served, age into servant caste

  as obligations endlessly accrue…

  The idiom piqued interest of outcast,

  whose eyes had welled but had not convalesced.

  Boy sniffled, straightened, breathed, tried to remold

  good outward face, cleared throat, and voiced request

  with interruption, asking, “You enrolled?”

  Stel was offended momentarily:

  first bully, then forget so verily?

  132.

  She checked herself. “Yes, I’m enrolled
,” then closed

  her mouth since she knew not where he would try

  to go. “You English so good. How?” he posed.

  “Where I grew up tongues were diversified.

  Swahili, English, tribal language all

  had uses.” “Try bull language?” “Kimasai,

  Kichaga, dialects of place.” A wall

  of understanding stood tall. She’d just try

  the same idea, simplified: “I learned

  in school.” He got it then. Reducing thought

  complexity left details undiscerned

  unsatisfyingly, but won jackpot

  of conversation partner hanging on.

  Reward was worth the cost of slang things gone.

  133.

  “I think like Sìchuānhuà and Hànyǔ,” he

  said, catching meanings ‘place’ and ‘school’ intend.

  “I speak Chinese, Han language. Maybe we

  can talk? You teach, I teach.” Why’d he befriend

  me all the sudden? Stella thought, then gazed

  again at his appearance, armor chinked

  since being teasing bad guy. He was fazed.

  She’d seen that he to cooler kids was linked,

  thought maybe she’d dodge teasing with assent.

  Before agreeing, Ai walked up, scowled. She

  standoffishly spoke with him. They’d relent

  peroxide level of acidity

  in minutes. “I ask why he mean. He said

  he not know you could English friend instead.”

  134.

  “He’s sorry? What has changed?” Stel then inquired.

  Ai translated, boy nodded, then shook head.

  He seemed unwilling to share what transpired:

  to share a shame was not that shame to shed.

  Ai guessed instead, “He so low in our class

  he must want helps.” She then recalled, “I heard

  the mother angry he test bad, not pass.”

  “I’m angry all he wants is English words,”

  Stel turned to him, “But fine. We’ll buddy up.

  You help me with Chinese, and I’ll help you

  with English. Here. Tomorrow. Follow up.”

  “Hěn hǎo! Zài zhèlǐ míngtiān jiàn nǐ,” blue-

  no-longer boy replied, form raised with hope,

  as if he’d slain an inner misanthrope.

  CHAPTER 9

  135.

  Fluorescent lamps lit hidden conference room,

  their bleaching light eliminating time.

  The men within debated if lagoon

  would soon be made of Fan’s green valley. “Prime

  geology for generation is

  so scarce these days: this site’s our only shot,”

  reported Land and Resources, “my whiz-

  bang scientists have plotted every spot.”

  “Our rivers’ flows are growing volatile,

  the age-old patterns offer no more use

 

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