by Fanny Finch
“Yes? Come in,” she called.
“Miss Caulfield?” asked the maid, nervously.
“What is it, Angela?” Delia asked, knowing that her sister was not around and it must be she that the maid was seeking.
“There is someone who has called for you. The Earl of Dulshire,” Angela stated.
Delia felt her heart cease to beat within her chest. An icy feeling crept its way through her body from the shock of this news.
It was not possible. Why would the Earl of Dulshire have come all this way to see her? Was he not finished with his anger? Was he there to ruin her further? Could she blame him if he did?
Delia stood, slowly. She swallowed hard and prepared herself for whatever might follow.
It hardly seemed possible that he had come. Perhaps it was the Baron, posing as the Earl? Maybe it was he who had decided she had not suffered enough? It was certainly a more plausible explanation than that of the Earl having come.
But Delia made her way out of the room and down the hall to the entrance of the estate. She had not invited him to come to her, which she now realized was rude. But until she knew for certain that it was the Earl and not Lord Woldorf, she had to remain as safe as possible in her movements.
But she reached the entrance of the home and, turning into the broad space, saw the face of the man she had come to love.
“My lord,” she said breathlessly, remembering to give a curtsey only a moment later than was appropriate.
“Miss Caulfield,” he replied, equally breathless. “It really is you.”
Delia knew she had to be mistaken, but it almost looked as though the Earl’s eyes glistened with emotion. It could not be so, but she almost felt certain of it, regardless.
“Y-you have come here,” Delia observed, swallowing hard once more.
“Yes. Yes, I have. It was urgent that I speak with you,” he remarked.
“Is your daughter alright?” Delia asked, wondering if something terrible had occurred. “Is Miss Grace okay?”
The Earl seemed to take a moment, staring at her, to process her question.
“Oh…yes, yes, of course!” he said, suddenly remembering himself. “She is doing very well. Save for the fact that…she misses you very much.”
Delia was relieved to hear this. Both that Grace was well and that she was missed. It helped her to feel a sense of calm in an otherwise strange circumstance.
Things were quiet and awkward for a moment. But then, at the same moment, each one began to speak.
“Forgive me-” Delia apologized for interrupting.
“Please go ahead-” the Earl said in the same exact moment.
Each one laughed nervously, knowing that this strangeness was caused by the rift of uncertainty between them.
“Would you like to join me for tea in the parlor?” Delia offered then.
The Earl nodded and gave her a smile of hope. “That would be lovely.”
She gave a similar smile and turned, leading the Earl to the room where they could speak alone.
In the parlor, Delia still had a small stack of books that she had been going through. The Duke’s library was fantastic and known around the area for being comprehensive on nearly every topic.
“Please, do sit,” Delia instructed, allowing the Earl to make himself comfortable.
Within a few moments, tea was brought in and the Earl and Delia shifted uncomfortably as the maid poured it for them. But once she left, the silence descended once more.
“I was surprised that you came all this way,” Delia finally said, initiating the conversation. The Earl seemed to ease a little at her having spoken.
“It was long overdue,” he told her.
“I have only been here a matter of days,” she replied.
“But you have been gone from my home for over a week, Miss Caulfield. Do you not know what it is to lose you?” he asked bluntly.
Delia felt the shift in her heart. As if it began pounding wildly in hope, she sensed that things might begin to turn to her favor after all. Perhaps the Earl had truly missed her as she had missed him.
“I must confess to you my anger,” the Earl said, continuing in a tone of apology that Delia could not fathom.
“Confess? My lord, you have every reason to be furious with me. I cannot imagine what would lead you to a confession of that,” she told him.
Delia watched the Earl’s expression as a look of concern came over his face. He watched her with compassion, evidently trying to choose his next words with caution.
“Miss Caulfield, my anger was not rooted in the reasons you must assume it to have been,” he told her.
She didn’t understand this. Delia listened intently, hoping that he might explain. She couldn’t quite fathom what reasons he might have beyond the very apparent ones.
“I was not angry at you for an accident that happened to another man’s child, although that was the easiest anger which I could release. No, indeed, that was not my reason,” he said.
“Then what, my lord? There was good reason to have fury over my lies and what happened to her,” Delia admitted, unwilling to look the Earl in the eye as she said so.
“Well, perhaps the lies were part of it. But again, it was not what you lied about. It was the fact that you did not trust me enough to tell me all. It was the fact that I wish to know everything there is to know about you, Miss Caulfield,” the Earl confessed.
She looked at him then, eyes wide with confusion. She could not possibly be understanding him correctly. The Earl would have no reason to wish to get to know her. How did he not see that?
“I’m afraid, my lord, that I do not understand,” she told him.
“I want you to trust me, Miss Caulfield. I want you to know that I should like to hear everything from you. Good or bad. I wish to know it all. I wish to know all that there is about you,” he continued.
“I wish to know what you love and what you hate. What you adore and what you fear. What you take pride in and what you are ashamed of. I have found that there are a great many things you have hidden from me and I am utterly devastated by it. I am devastated that you did not feel prepared to tell me all,” he said, breathing heavily through the confession.
It seemed a great weight was on the Earl’s shoulders. Delia saw the way he was almost desperate in his words. There was an emotion to them that she could not quite place, nor could she have ever expected from him.
“Forgive me for my dishonesty,” she replied, unsure of what else she ought to say.
“Miss Caulfield, it is not mere dishonesty that has broken me. It is that you did not tell me everything. But I have also not told you everything. And if I’m to expect such a thing from you, I ought to share it in kind,” the Earl said.
A small fissure of fear burrowed into Delia. She was not frightened of the Earl. But she was frightened of this new and sudden openness that was to be between them. She was frightened to think that she would now share all.
“May I tell you everything that is in me?” he asked, requesting her permission.
Delia nodded slowly, unsure why he would wish to or trust her enough even after discovering her lies.
“Miss Caulfield, I feel something for you that I have never felt for any woman before. I feel for you as I never imagined myself capable. You are beyond just an exquisite, proper young woman. You are entirely something else,” he said, a laugh of relief escaping his lips.
Delia was stiff in her inability to believe that this was really happening.
“I have to confess these feelings to you,” he said.
The Earl stood for a moment, as if he couldn’t keep it all in. But then, he returned to his seat so quickly that Delia thought she might have imagined the whole motion.
“I consider you in a way that I never considered my late wife even. I know that perhaps it makes me a horrible man, having married her without love. But it is the truth. And you must hear it,” he told her, emotion wracking his voice.
Delia felt th
e tears of joy pool in her eyes. Even as he confessed this dreadful thing, she was overcome by the fact that the Earl of Dulshire cared for her, loved her even. He had not said as much directly, but she no longer felt compelled to deny what she knew he meant.
“Have I frightened you with my confession?” he asked.
Delia shook her head. “No, my lord. You have given me every reason to feel joy and relief. You have given me every reason to believe that there is good and hope.”
The two sat opposite one another, each enraptured by their own affections. Delia still hadn’t confessed her own sense of the Earl, but she felt that she didn’t have to yet. He had not asked and she had no need to share what was evident.
No commitment had been made between them and it would have been foolish for her to have put herself in a place of admittance without such a commitment. But Delia longed for him to know what she considered him.
She allowed her eyes to tell him everything, allowed herself to look on him with admiration and respect. And it was clear that the Earl felt every bit of it. It was clear that he understood what she was trying to communicate.
“And you must know that I was informed about what the Baron did. I am entirely sorry. I cannot believe I fell for his lies and manipulation,” the Earl confessed further.
Delia was surprised by this revelation. She hadn’t even thought about the Baron, but now she was suddenly anxious again.
“He will make it known to everyone. He will ensure that I am destroyed if people are informed of his actions,” she warned the Earl.
“Not anymore, Miss Caulfield. I have learned more about Lord Woldorf. Things I never knew before. And not only has he confessed to me all that he did in order to wound me, but I have learned from others of his very deep secrets.
“He is of no further concern to us. I have made it clear to him that should he say or do anything to come against us, he shall be dealt with,” the Earl confirmed to her.
Delia couldn’t fathom anything giving the Baron a fright, but she nodded anyway, choosing to trust the Earl of Dulshire.
“I assure you that all will be well,” he said again, trying to ease her worries.
“You truly believe that he will be kept at bay?” she inquired.
“I’ve no doubt of it. Miss Caulfield, he is a man with a history in a sanitarium. Do you think he shall ever come up against us when I have such a threat against him?” the Earl asked, a grin on his face.
Delia allowed the shock to show on her face. She could hardly believe it. And yet, it made sense. The Baron was not a man of stable intent. Why should she be shocked that his behavior had come out of a disturbed youth?
“And you have evidence of this?” she asked.
“I have spoken with the doctors of the sanitarium who can give evidence. Should anything happen to us, they have been warned that it will have been caused by the Baron himself,” the Earl told her.
Delia nodded, relieved but also in shock still. It was a lot of information to process.
“Now, I have told you much,” the Earl said. “Is there anything which you should like to divulge to me?”
This last question he asked while looking around the room at their surroundings, hinting that he should like to know about Delia’s family.
She began by confirming that all she told him about her family had once been true. But from there, she told him the changes that had occurred.
The Earl listened intently as Delia described the change in her parents resulting from their wealth. She shared about her sister’s marriage and how the family’s status had climbed as a result. And she told him how she had already left the home before the change in circumstances and, as such, was not included in it all.
And after she had told him everything, the Earl looked at her with more care and affection than ever before.
Chapter 40
It was perfect. Simply hearing the story behind Miss Caulfield’s life was amazing. The Earl was so glad she had finally shared it all with him and he wished only that he could have known it sooner.
But she had not told him until now and he understood. She had lived a rather complicated life, it seemed. But he was glad to have heard the story of it.
“Miss Caulfield,” the Earl began, “might I ask if there is a garden in which we may walk?”
Miss Caulfield smiled and nodded her head enthusiastically. “I should like that very much. The gardens here are quite breathtaking and I do believe that you will appreciate them.”
“Then we simply must engage them,” the Earl decided.
Miss Caulfield stood and the Earl of Dulshire followed her out through the door with one of the household maids following behind as chaperone.
“There is also a beautiful lake. Perhaps, once we have toured the gardens, and if we still have the energy, I could show you the lake,” Miss Caulfield told him.
The Earl thought this was an excellent idea. He knew that he wished to be outside with her more than anything. He knew that she loved the outdoors and that she seemed to thrive on the air that was outside.
He had thought to have a discussion with Miss Caulfield once they reached the gardens, but found that he was rather intrigued by the thought of the lake.
Still, the Earl of Dulshire was pleasantly surprised by the beauty of the gardens surrounding them. Miss Caulfield had not exaggerated. They were nothing short of magnificent.
“My goodness, I think you, in fact, failed to do them justice,” he remarked, taking in the sight of blooms and buds of every color. The topiaries were sculpted to perfection and the Earl had little he could say in response to everything’s beautiful nature.
Miss Caulfield was quiet and the Earl wished to know exactly what her thoughts were. He could not sit idly by, waiting for her to share with him when he as utterly determined to know what it was that she was thinking. And yet, he also knew that he had to begin to trust her. He could no longer wish to understand her beyond what she was willing to tell him.
It would be difficult. It would be a great challenge to move on from all that had occurred. And yet, the Earl was confident that it was well worth it. Miss Caulfield was more than worth his energies. She was more than worth his trust.
Even if it took him time to believe certain things from her, he was growing more and more comfortable in the idea that she would not hide matters from him again. Nor would he ever hide matters from her.
It seemed that she knew about his late wife. Certainly she had known about the Baron’s affection for her, which was more than even the Earl could confess. And if this was, indeed, the case, if she knew it all, then he had little to tell her. In fact, it would mean that she knew even more than he did.
But the Earl remained at peace despite it. He had grown to love Miss Caulfield entirely. When he glanced over at her, noticing her beauty, noticing how she stood against the flowers, he was overcome. Yes, he wanted to be hers. He wanted their life to be spent together. Nothing could separate them now. Not when they had come so far.
Miss Caulfield trailed off to look at a flower that the Earl did not know the name of. He was curious, but watched her from a distance as she took in the scent.
“I do love the smell of hyacinth,” she remarked.
Hyacinth. He had heard the name of that flora before. But now he knew that she loved it and it made him love it as well. If it was a favorite of hers, it would forever be a favorite of his.
Miss Caulfield was soon going about again and the Earl tried to keep up with her. She was becoming energized, just as he had hoped. He made every effort to ignore the presence of the chaperone trailing behind them.
The outdoors did a great deal for her. It brought him excitement and also all manner of stirring in his gut. He knew that the time was soon approaching. He would have to get his question out of the way.
And if she chose to reject him, he knew that he could survive. He had been through worse. He had experienced his fair share of pain in the past and knew that he could come through this.
And yet, a rejection from Miss Caulfield would be extreme. Perhaps he had not been through worse after all. She had become everything to him and the Earl of Dulshire could not bear the thought of losing her.
“My lord?” she asked, shaking him from his thoughts. The Earl looked at her and smiled through the pounding of his heart.
“Might we speak? Privately?” he asked, wanting her permission before he moved forward.
“I had thought that we already had, my lord. Do you wish to return back inside?” Miss Caulfield asked. The Earl saw a flash of disappointment go across her face.
He thought she must have assumed he changed his mind or that he was going to tell her not to come back. It was evident that she expected disappointing news of some sort. It was clear that she was not prepared for what was about to come.