by Eileen Palma
“Hey man, since we’re going with the snack tray, we might as well add the large cup holder.” Matt started talking as soon as Jack picked up.
“I’m still thinking through the concept.”
“You better think fast. We need to do this before Maclaren beats us to the punch,” Matt practically screamed over the Linkin Park blasting in the background.
“Listen, you’re not going to believe who I ran into at the dog park.”
“Not that dog walker I slept with? I think she’s stalking me. I swear I saw her waiting for me outside my building the other day.” Matt sighed as if he was annoyed, but Jack knew having a possible stalker was a real ego boost for his friend.
“It was Kate Richards.”
“Did you tear her a new one?” Matt lowered his music.
“No, I saved her dog from getting attacked by a German Shepherd.”
“You should’ve let that fem-bot’s dog get eaten. Would serve her right.” Matt’s voice remained loud even though his music was barely audible now.
“Come on. It’s not the poor dog’s fault her owner has such a big mouth.”
“Lemme guess. It was a MaltiPoo or a Shih Tzu.”
“Actually, she has a really cool Boston. Anyway, I saved the dog and long story short, I’m supposed to meet up with Kate Richards for dinner.”
“Why would she ask the evil fat kid stroller guy out to dinner?”
“She has no idea who I am.”
“Bullshit! She blasted our company on Straight Talk less than forty-eight hours ago.”
“That doesn’t mean she knows who I am. You’re the face of the company, not me.”
“That’s because I have the better looking face.”
“No, asshole. It’s ‘cause you have the bigger ego.”
“Jack Moskowitz isn’t the most common name out there. That must’ve clued her in.”
“That’s why my genius niece decided to introduce me as Jack Horowitz, named after the stinky kid from orchestra.”
“I still don’t get why you agreed to go.”
“Lauren said yes for me. And I couldn’t make a big scene with the KidFit film crew there.”
Matt was uncharacteristically slow with a comeback.
“I just haven’t decided if I should stand her up or if I should go explain who I am,” continued Jack. “Did I mention she’s pretty fuckin’ hot when she’s not talking about strollers?”
“Haven’t you ever heard that saying about keeping your friends close but your enemies closer? You’re going on that date.”
“Everyone always talks about the big sign that you’ve met THE ONE. But what if I drive right past it and miss my exit?”
Kate Richards, Late Night with Jessa Silver
Chapter Four
“Lara wants to know when she’s getting the finished manuscript.” Dana was filling a black Hefty bag with the abandoned plastic plates, cups and other party ware.
“Beginning of next week? I’m still playing around with a few recipes.” With the exception of a few Nylabone Frisbees she couldn’t resist keeping for Sarah Jessica Barker, Kate was loading up a cardboard box with the presents to donate to the ASPCA.
“Did you add the Greek yogurt cheesecake?”
“I’m still tweaking it so it won’t taste so sour. That is pretty hard to do without adding sugar.”
“You better figure it out. Greek yogurt recipes are at the top of Google search.” Dana’s eyes glazed over as she stared at the unclaimed slices of cake. For a split second Kate thought she was going to abandon her wheat-free, gluten-free, sugar-free diet, but then Dana scooped all the pink polka dotted paper plates into the Hefty bag in one swift motion.
“I will. Then I should be just about done with the dessert section.”
“Hurry up. Lara needs time to look it over before she turns it in to Random House.”
“I’m going as fast as I can. But I’m really feeling the pressure to make it as good as the first book.” Kate tossed a plush yellow Checker cab on top of a rubber Statue of Liberty chew toy. All they needed now was an I Love NY doggie shirt and the ASPCA could set up a souvenir stand.
“Sequels of New York Times best-selling books almost always make it on the list, whether they’re as good as the first one or not.” Dana tied an awkward knot around the top of the trash bag.
“Are you saying this book isn’t as good as the last one?” Kate was finally voicing the fear that had been nagging her every time she sat down to type recipes.
“Insecure much?” Dana raised her impeccably groomed black eyebrows.
“I used up all my best recipes in Mini-Munchies. I really had to stretch myself to come up with more.” Kate hoisted the box next to the other two that were waiting by the dog park gate for the ASPCA rep to come pick up.
“Did you try them out on your niece and nephew again?”
“Most of them.”
“Good, because they’re definitely our target demographic.”
Kate threw a rubber steak at her. “You’re evil!”
“You’re just getting the sophomore blues.” Dana caught the toy and tossed it in the donation box.
“I hope that’s it. Because right now I’m just not feeling this book.” Kate grabbed a flattened Fresh Direct box and worked a little magic with some duct tape.
“You better feel it after you just cut a check for forty grand to your sister. What the hell did she need all that money for anyway?”
“Property taxes.”
“That’s what she gets for living in that big ass house in Bronxville, the most expensive town in Westchester. Why should you bankroll that?”
“They put the house on the market as soon as Jen got downsized from Morgan Stanley. But no one’s in the market for a big house on the hill right now.”
“You better hope someone buys it or you’ll be kicking in the mortgage payments next.”
“We wouldn’t be sitting here talking about my book if Jen and Todd hadn’t loaned me the money to go to culinary school.”
“Fine, that explains helping Jen out, even though you paid them back years ago. What about the five grand you just wired to dear old Dad? And I know he didn’t pay shit for you growing up.”
“Bad business deal,” mumbled Kate.
“Meaning bad day at OTB. That man’s never gonna learn his lesson if you bail him out every time some bookie wants to kill him.”
“I told Pop it was the last time. He promised to check into that gamblers’ rehab I found for him upstate as soon as they have a free bed.”
“He probably just told you that so you would save his ass from whatever bookie was threatening to slice his balls off.”
“He better be serious. Jen said she would kick him out for good if he doesn’t.”
“How much are you ponying up for rehab?”
“Enough to make me kick my cookbook revisions into high gear. By the way, who was the asshole with the rabid German Shepherd?”
“I owed the kid’s agent a favor. He’s a reality star who needed some extra camera exposure.”
“Next time you do someone a favor, just make sure it doesn’t involve my dog getting eaten alive.” Kate involuntarily shivered at the thought of what might have happened if Jack hadn’t been there.
“Speaking of which, I can’t believe you actually asked that guy out.”
“I had a little help from his niece.”
“It’s about time you got back in the game. But with him?”
“Why not? Did you see those eyes?” Kate sighed. Compared to Jack’s, even Bradley Cooper’s eyes would be downgraded to merely ordinary.
“No, I was too distracted by his hair. Hasn’t the man ever heard of a keratin treatment?”
“I think guys with curly hair are hot.”
“Well guys with spare tires are not.”
“My last boyfriend had a six pack and look how well that turned out.”
“And you wonder why you’re still single?”
Dana stayed behind and waited for the ASPCA rep to pick up the donations. Kate leashed up Sarah Jessica Barker and closed the heavy gate behind her. She held on tight to her eager dog at the edge of the West Side Highway as they waited for the light to change. But when the walking man in the pedestrian sign lit up, she let her dog drag her across the street.
As soon as Kate got close to the Chelsea Piers Fieldhouse, the wind from the Hudson River pushed at her face, bringing with it the smell of hot cocoa and fresh hamburgers from the new organic food stand.
Kate walked Sarah Jessica Barker to the metal bench by the crosstown bus stop and sat down to wait for Jack. The tiny dog, exhausted from her birthday festivities, saw this as an opportunity to take a nap. She curled up in a warm ball on top of Kate’s feet and took two deep breaths before closing her eyes.
Kate spotted Jack and Lauren as they ran across the bike path cutting off a swarm of black spandex-clad riders. Lauren collapsed in a fit of giggles when they reached the other side unscathed. Jack looped Diesel’s leash on the edge of the chain link fencepost and walked Lauren to a side entrance to the Fieldhouse.
When they reached the door, Lauren and Jack began a typical high five routine with the requisite hand smacks up high, down low, and around back. Jack towered over his niece, his hands looking like bear paws smacking into hers. Just when Kate thought they were through, Jack lined up his back with Lauren’s, bent his knees in unison with hers and began walking down an imaginary staircase. They both sank their torsos lower and lower till it looked like they had strutted down a flight of stairs. As soon as Lauren and Jack reached the ground, they swung their hands out for a high five and pulled each other up into the Roger Rabbit, arching their backs and skipping backward a few times before giving each other the final high five. Jack may not look like he lived at the gym, but he definitely had rhythm.
A group of what had to be Lauren’s gymnast friends, judging by their short, muscular physiques, stood by the door waiting, not looking fazed in the least by Lauren and Jack’s performance. Jack left Lauren with her friends and stood on the pier with an arm above his eyes to shield the sun, watching as they walked into the field house. He stayed rooted to the spot even when the glass door shut, keeping an eye on her till she made it down the hall. Jack unhooked Diesel from the fence and gave him a quick belly rub before heading back across the congested bike path to meet Kate, his unruly curls moving lightly in the steady breeze off the water.
“Thanks for waiting. I had to make sure Lauren got in okay.” Up close, Kate could see a few gray curls fighting through Jack’s reddish brown sideburns.
“That was quite the handshake back there.” Kate nudged Sarah Jessica Barker to wake her up from her power nap.
“I was hoping you missed that.” Jack leaned down to pet the panting dog on her head. The side of his pinky rubbed up against Kate’s and the friction sent a tiny shock up her arm like a bolt of static electricity.
“No such luck.”
“Lauren and I started that craziness back when her dad first deployed. Or at least the first time she was really old enough to understand.”
Kate grasped the leash with both hands while Sarah Jessica Barker pounced on Diesel. The two dogs rolled around on the sidewalk playfully gnawing on each other’s ears while Jack continued.
“I used to drop Lauren off at preschool when my sister had modeling gigs. As soon as David left for Iraq, Lauren was petrified no one would come back for her. She got so worked up she would have an asthma attack. My sister tried everything the school psychologist suggested, but nothing worked. So, one day I made up this goofy handshake with hokey pokey moves and lots of jumping up and down. The secret handshake kept her distracted so she could let me leave. Over the years, it became our thing.”
“Do you do that every time you drop Lauren off somewhere?”
“No. But David went back to Afghanistan a few months ago and it’s hitting Lauren pretty hard. So we started it up again whenever I leave her at the gym.”
“She’s lucky to have you in her life.” Kate had visions of Lauren wearing a cap and gown doing her crazy handshake routine with Jack behind the scenes of her high school graduation.
“Yeah, well we’ll see how she feels when I’m chasing away the teenage guys with my aluminum baseball bat.” When Jack smiled, the skin around his eyes softened into deep creases that gave Kate a warm cozy feeling. “You don’t really have to take me out to dinner.”
“Are you kidding me? You saved my dog’s life! The least I could do is get you a beer and split a bucket of mussels with you at The Frying Pan.”
“I’m sure you have much better things you could be doing tonight. Lauren won’t know the difference.”
“Seriously, I don’t.” Kate tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice as she suspected the guy was trying to dodge her.
“How could I turn down dinner at The Frying Pan? It’s probably one of the last weekends it’ll be open before they close for the winter.” Jack walked Diesel toward the footpath and Sarah Jessica Barker eagerly followed.
“How long is your brother-in-law deployed for?” Kate kept the conversation going and tried to convince herself that this wasn’t a pity date.
“At least another six months. It’s been rough for my sister Harper and Lauren this time. He’s stationed in a black hole of communication.”
“They must live close by for you to help out with Lauren so much.”
“They actually live in the top two floors of my brownstone. I live in the bottom two.”
“My sister Jen and her family live in Bronxville and believe me, there are times I am grateful to be separated by the Henry Hudson Bridge. Especially since my Pop moved in with them.”
“Don’t get me wrong. My sister can be a pain in the ass. But Harper, David and Lauren are the only family I’ve got.”
They walked up the pier against the wind blowing off the Hudson River. The two dogs took turns alternately running ahead, sniffing things out, and then waiting for their owners to catch up. As they walked along the pier the sun touched the crests of the choppy waves on the murky Hudson River, while cars whipped past them to their right on the West Side Highway.
It wasn’t long before they reached the large iron skillet that hung from a wooden frame at the entrance to the floating restaurant. They walked up a waterlogged wooden walkway to the barnacle-encrusted red metal boat.
“It’s okay, Sarah Jessica.” Kate’s dog froze as soon as she realized their path was moving. Diesel howled and nipped at her heels until she barked back and followed him up the path.
As they walked the length of the ship, they passed couples and small groups knocking back beers and sharing buckets of shellfish. The air smelled like fried fish and spilled beer, but the casual restaurant had an air of romance, especially when you caught a glimpse of the bright sun sinking into the Hudson River.
Jack led them to an empty table towards the front. He tied Diesel’s leash to the bar that ran along the side of the boat and Diesel quickly nestled himself into a ball under the table. Jack reached for the Boston Terrier’s leash and tied her up as well. Sarah Jessica Barker snuggled up next to Diesel and licked happily at her paws.
“Food’s on me since you saved me a hefty bill at the animal hospital. Beer, a bucket of mussels and a couple ears of corn sound good to you?”
“Perfect.” Jack leaned back in his white plastic chair and looked over the side of the boat at the rocky waves, while Kate went to the bar and ordered the food.
She brought back two chilled bottles of Blue Moon Ale with thick wedges of oranges stuck on the rims. “Food should be ready in a few minutes.” Kate handed Jack a beer.
He held his bottle up. “Cheers.”
“To new friends.” Kate clinked her bottle against his.
“You know the summer’s over when there’re so many empty seats at The Frying Pan.” Jack tilted his bottle back and swallowed a few hearty chugs.
“So I’m assuming you know what I do for a living.” Kate pointed to the white glittery letters that spelled KidFit across her camouflage tee shirt. “Wanna level the playing field and tell me what you do?”
Jack was silent long enough for Kate to worry that he was one of the many people out of work these days. The last guy she had been set up with had been unemployed. It didn’t bother her that he had been out of work for six months. Money was not an issue for her. But the enormous chip on his shoulder as a result had made it too difficult to really pursue anything.
“Sorry, I got distracted by that gigantic boat over there.” Jack pointed to a massive cruise ship docked a few feet away from them. “That thing looks like a floating mall. I freelance for dot-com startups.”
“People still make money at dot-coms?”
“Mark Zuckerburg managed to,” countered Jack.
“I can’t believe that just came out of my mouth! Can we please forget I said that?” Kate always managed to lose her filter when she was nervous. But to be fair, she hadn’t known anyone who worked for a dot-com since the ‘90s.
Jack took a long pull of his beer. “Sure. I’m just glad I’m not the one who said the first dumb thing. No offense.”
“None taken. This could be why I don’t get asked on too many second dates.”
The corner of Jack’s mouth lifted into a lopsided grin, making that elusive dimple on his left cheek come out of hiding.
Kate squeezed some of the orange juice into her beer so that the sweet citrus mixed with the light barley. She leaned back in her chair and took a long sip from the cold bottle.
“What do you do exactly for dot-coms?”
“Too boring to talk about. But I assure you I make money at it.” There went that lopsided grin again.