“Very well,” she said, “we want to live and have to die, and that paradox makes us crazy, or neurotic, or at least unsettled. I suppose people have wondered what to do about it for ages. Do you imagine you discovered the answer out in Guardian space?”
“It’s not that complicated. We can’t have eternal life so we have to wring the most out of every second we have here, and we all know that. Since we can’t have more length, we’ll settle for more intensity.”
He pointed at the sunset.
“Thirty-six years I’ve been around. That’s over ten thousand sunsets, but I missed a lot of them, so say I’ve paid attention to one thousand. That’s still a lot. You’d think I’ve seen everything there is to see in a sunset. But if I share it with someone whose presence makes me see those colors in ways I never have before, makes me see them with an intensity and immediacy that makes my throat tighten up, makes me feel more alive than I can ever remember feeling—that’s love. I love you, Cass, and that’s enough for me. I don’t need you to love me back. It’s okay. I’m on the winning side of this.”
She stared at him and shook her head. “What do you mean?”
“If the stars line up right and two people love each other—love and are loved in return—that’s as good as it gets. But the stars don’t always line up that way. So, if I have to choose between loving or being loved, I’ll take loving every time.”
“Ah,” she said.
“How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.”
“Pretty good,” Bitka said. “More poetry?”
“W. H. Auden. You should read him.”
Bitka smiled and shook his head. “That’s okay, I’m good. I like that last line, though. If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.”
“Most people would consider that a tragic outcome,” she said.
“Yeah, but most people aren’t as smart as me . . . or that guy Auden.”
Cassandra found herself laughing again.
“It’s true,” he said. “Being in love? Best feeling in the world. Wouldn’t trade it for anything. Tragic outcome?” He shook his head. “Cass, I don’t need to tell you what real tragedy is. We’ve seen enough of it together. It’s people dying before their time, before they’ve had a chance to live out the only life they ever get. And sometimes it’s people afraid to live their lives, so they just let them slip away until it’s too late. But not getting every single thing you want—even if you really, really want it—that’s not a tragedy. It’s just life.”
They sat quietly and Cassandra watched the shadows of the trees grow less distinct in the growing darkness.
“What’s going to happen?” she said, and as soon as she said it she realized she didn’t know if she meant to them or to the Cottohazz or to both or to something else entirely.
He looked at her and smiled a different smile, a knowing one, as if he understood her confusion.
“Lots of things. But this fight with the Guardians . . . well, who knows if there’s even going to be a fight now that P’Daan’s dead?”
“Do not rejoice in his defeat, you men,” she quoted. “For though the world has stood up and stopped the bastard, the bitch that bore him is in heat again.” Bitka looked at her, a question in his eyes. “Bertold Brecht,” she explained. “His point being, problems are seldom ended simply by killing one bastard. Our troubles with the Guardians are, I suspect, simply beginning.”
“Well, I guess that figures,” he said. “But I think we’re going to win, eventually. Or people like us will, people whose lives are short but bright. Those who opt for K’Irka’s promise of immortality won’t understand what they’re giving up. I realized something during the uBakai war: the fact that we know we’re going to die sooner or later sets us free. We’re free, while the Guardians are prisoners to their uncertain future. They think they’ve escaped death, but I think they’ve walked away from life. They’ve lost its urgency, its immediacy.”
And then, as if to punctuate his words, fireworks erupted in the western sky and they jumped in surprise, then laughed.
“It must be in honor of your victory,” she said, but Bitka scratched his head and then laughed again.
“No! Some US Navy officer I am. It’s October 10th, Federation Day, our national holiday. The United States of North America: seventy-one years old today. Look at those fireworks and that sunset! Beautiful. Damnit, we’re alive, Cass. Alive! So give me a kiss.”
Te’Anna moved through the Ship, her Ship, sensing it come slowly out of hibernation. She sat in the helm station and gently pushed her arms down into the control cavities, felt the moist membranes of Ship close around them, and sensed its shudder of pleasure as it came awake to her physical presence.
Is it you?
“Yes, Ship, it is me.”
Has it been long?
“No, hardly any time at all.”
I dreamed of you. Is this another dream?
“I told you, Ship, it is all dreams. Dreams within dreams.”
Which dream is this?
“Oh, this is the best one! This is the one we dream together.”
AUTHOR’S NOTE AND ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Although it is not essential to enjoying the story, many readers will notice Ship of Destiny follows, in broad outline, the story of Homer’s Odyssey. In that, the novel owes much to Adam Nicolson’s The Mighty Dead: Why Homer Matters (William Collins, 2014), which made me understand the Odyssey not as a story of one man’s journey across the ancient Mediterranean Sea, but rather of all our individual journeys through the challenges and heartbreaks and triumphs of life.
There are hints throughout of characters and incidents inspired by the Odyssey, but I made no attempt to follow its plot slavishly. Instead, this is simply the story of a perilous journey that tests a captain’s wit, courage, and leadership, but also tests his soul and—in the face both of so much death and the prospect of life unending—forces him to confront the implications of mortality.
I remain indebted to my two writing groups—Writer’s Café at the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at Illinois, and the Red Herring Fiction Writers—as well as individual readers who provided both encouragement and suggestions: Nancy Blake, Rich Bliss, Craig Cutbirth, Tom Harris, Bev Herzog, and Jim Nevling. Three readers stand out as having given the manuscript very close reads and provided extensive, thoughtful comments and suggestions: Linda Coleman, John Palen, and Elaine Palencia. To Casey Sutherland, for help with Cajun dialect, Thanks, you. I am also fortunate to count two outstanding microbiologists among my friends: Claudia Reich and Bob Switzer, and I appreciate their help in navigating some complicated issues and communicating them in an intelligible form.
Thanks also to Li C. Tien and John Palen for permission to include their moving translation of Xin Qiji’s poem “To The Tune ‘The Ugly Slave,’” from Drizzle and Plum Blossoms (March Street Press, 2009), their collection of Song Dynasty poetry.
Finally, my enduring gratitude to, and appreciation for, Toni Weisskopf, my publisher at Baen Books, and Tony Daniel, my editor there, who believed in this book, championed it, and contributed greatly to a much-improved final manuscript. If writing were always this much of a joy, there would be many more books in the world. But then where would we put them all?
USS Cam Ranh Bay Described
USS Cam Ranh Bay (LAS-17) (aka The Bay, aka Building 17), third ship of the Peleliu-class of assault transports, was constructed at the IOS (International Orbital Space-dock) facility from August 2131– March 2133. It was commissioned on May 1, 2133 but after trials was returned to the IOS for further modifications to its energy storage systems and additions to the weapons and sensor suites. Returned to service November 16, 2133. Deployed to K’Tok system January 13, 2134 assigned to the Outworld Coalition Combined Fleet as part of the Orbital Assault Division (Provisional).
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sp; Physical Description
Length: 135m
Beam: 22m (circular cross section)
Spin habitat: 20m wide, 10m deep, 100 meters in diameter
Mass (empty): 24,250 tons
Mass (loaded, excluding reaction mass): 33,550
Mass (loaded, including reaction mass): 54,400
Interior Volume: approximately 108,000 cubic meters (51,500 main hull, 56,550 spin habitat)
Crew: 171 all ranks
25 Officers
22 Chief Petty Officers
90 Petty Officers
34 Mariner Strikers
Plus quarters for 750 Marines (480 following 2133 refit and weaponry upgrade)
Machinery
1 x Lockheed Martin SW-3000 magnetized target fusion (MTF) reactor and direct thruster, 2.25-GW output
• Drive exhaust velocity at maximum thrust: 500,000 m/s
• Energy input per ton/second of thrust: 83 Kj
• Reaction mass expended per ton/second of thrust: 0.02kg
• Maximum thrust: 27,000 tons
• Reaction mass expended per second at max thrust: 540kg (32.4 tons/min)
• Reaction mass endurance at maximum thrust: 643.5 minutes (10.7 hours)
• Reaction mass endurance at maximum thrust, main hull fuel: 489 minutes (8.15 hours)
• Acceleration at maximum mass: 0.5G
• Acceleration at maximum mass (main hull only): 1G
• “Average” acceleration of 0.6G at average mass, (i.e. with half of total reaction mass remaining)
• “Average” acceleration of 1.4G (main hull only) at average mass
1 x 375-MW thermoelectric multi-cycle Seebeck generator
• (Converts thermal output of fusion reactor, stellar radiation, and internal waste heat, to electricity for ship power and recharging SMESS. 9-min recharge time at full power.)
4 x thermal radiator panels (12m x 30m) mounted aft, for discharging unrecoverable waste heat.
3 x low-signature magneto-plasmadynamic (MPD) maneuver drives with a combined thrust of
• 4,250 tons
• Drive exhaust velocity at maximum thrust: 100,000 m/s (100 km/s)
• Reaction mass expended per ton/second of thrust: 0.1 kg
• Energy input per ton/second of thrust: 200 Kj
• Maximum thrust: 4,250 tons
• Full thrust endurance on fully charged SMESS: 468 seconds
• Reaction mass expended per second at max thrust: 0.425 tons
• Acceleration at full load: 0.08G
• Acceleration at full load (main hull only): 0.16G
• Acceleration at average mass: 0.1G
• Acceleration at average mass (main hull only): 0.22G
4 x superconducting magnetic energy storage systems (SMESS)
• Combined rated capacity of 400 Gj (sufficient to power the MPD
thrusters at full power for 470 seconds, or to generate 800 pulses
from original point defense lasers (PDLs), 266 from added high-
power PDLs, or 214 discharges from the spinal coil gun).
Performance
Provides up to 480 Mt/sec of thrust, or approximately 386 G/minutes, or 6.4 G/hours on direct fusion thrusters.
MPD thrust using fully charged SMESS: 4,250 tons for 470 seconds (103 G/seconds).
Combined sprint thrust at average mass: 0.7G
Small Craft
6 x PSRV-7C (Planetary Surface Recovery Vehicle, Mark 7, variant C)
Mass: 25 tons empty, 50 tons loaded (6 tons passengers/cargo, 19 tons reaction mass)
Machinery: 30 Mj MPD thruster, generating 150 tons of thrust, (powered by 32 Gj SMESS energy storage system)
Armament (as designed)
1 x 40cm Mark 17 coil gun, spinally mounted, 1.85-Gj peak muzzle energy, for launching inert munitions.
2 x 0.5 Gj point defense pulse lasers (retrofitted)
(Virtual) Focal array: 12 meters (6 meters actual focal diameter)
Wavelength: 1000 Å (ultraviolet)
Effective range: 6,000–8,000 km
28 x 40cm PBM-9KS (Planetary Bombardment Missile, Mark 9, Kinetic Energy Sub-munition) (aka “Thud”)
4 x 40cm PBM-9DP (Planetary Bombardment Missile, Mark 9, Deep Penetrator) (aka “Crust Buster”)
Armament (following 2133 refit)
Above weaponry plus following added:
2 x 1.5 Gj point defense pulse lasers (retrofitted)
(Virtual) Focal array: 20 meters (10 meters actual focal diameter)
Wavelength: 1000 Å (ultraviolet)
Effective range: 7,000–10,000 km
12 x 28cm DSIM-4C, block two missiles (Deep Space Intercept Missile Mark 4, aka “Fire Lance”) with integral solid fuel rocket boosters. Loaded in two 6-tube launchers and substituted for passenger modules in the spin habitat. Each missile with twelve composite laser rods pumped by the 100-kt warhead. Each laser rod generates a single pulse for 2–4 nanoseconds with a total energy of approximately one gigajoule.
Warhead: 100kt thermonuclear
12 composite laser rods, locked on pre-set pattern for maximum hit chance
Each laser rod generates a single 1 GJ pulse for 2–4 nanoseconds
(Virtual) focal array: 0.2 meters
Wavelength: 15 Å (X-ray)
Effective range upon detonation: 4,000 km
Note: Additional missile launchers reduced troop-carrying capacity from 750 to 480.
Supplemental (Improvised) Armament
36 x 32cm DSIM-5B, block five missiles (Deep Space Intercept Missile Mark 5B “Fire Lance”), each with thirty composite laser rods pumped by the 180-kt warhead. Each laser rod generates a single pulse for 2–4 nanoseconds with a total energy of approximately one gigajoule.
Warhead: 180kt thermonuclear
30 composite laser rods, independently targetable
Each laser rod generates a single 1 GJ pulse for 2–4 nanoseconds
(Virtual) focal array: 0.26 meters
Wavelength: 15 Å (X-ray)
Effective range upon detonation: 4,000–6,000 km
Ship of Destiny Page 48