“Different. I’m doing what I need to do to secure my future. To make sure that Sheffield Tech is mine. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen.”
“Why can’t you have that and be happy with Russell?” she challenged.
Turning away from her, I watched as a seagull flew low, skimming the murky waters before scooping something into its mouth and flying high once more. I envied him his freedom to move about as he wanted and to live life on his terms.
A subtle breeze blew through, picking up the napkin I’d set aside on the table. I stood and leaned forward across the table, grabbing the napkin at the last possible moment before it could become litter.
Taking a sip of my spiced mango drink, I contemplated what Kendra asked.
My lips tingled slightly as I recalled the kiss Lake indulged me in, thinking of the way my heartbeat sped up each time I laid eyes on him after that, or how I’d clenched my thighs in response to the touch of his hand and lips when we kissed.
That was something I hadn’t acknowledged when it happened. My response and feelings about it all. I’d gone home and took that memory out to savor and reflect on later. Even now, I was trying to push the warm flush down that took over my face.
“Xiomara?” she prompted after I took too long.
“With Russell, there’s no tingle of excitement every time he touches me, or my pulse picking up when I see him, anticipating the next time that I’ll be in his presence. Or...my panties getting wet at just a kiss.”
“Wow!” Kendra said.
“Yeah, wow.” I nodded.
“Well, what do you feel when you’re with him?”
Looking into Kendra’s eyes, a sad smile lifted my lips. “Like my cousin just arrived.”
She and I shared a moment of laughter.
Grabbing my hands in hers, she said, “Honestly, Xiomara, I admire you for upholding this agreement of your father’s. I know that your father’s old-fashioned, but as a grown woman, I would make my own decisions about whom I love and marry. You have a beautiful career, and you’ve been living on your own all this time. The fact that you’ve returned home to do this is amazing. But...you don’t have to.”
Kendra had married an Indian man named Fariq, so she understood our cultural beliefs on arranged marriages. He had stepped beyond that role when he met Kendra, which was why she was so adamant that I should do my own thing.
Kendra and Fariq’s three-year reunion produced two-year-old twin boys and a ten-month-old baby girl. They were the cutest kids, and to see Kendra and Fariq together, you would think it was love at first sight.
Couples like them made me hopeful that I could find true love, too. But there was a dull ache in my heart that said it was impossible. I knew that I would never have with Russell what she and Fariq had, and I wasn’t sure that I could find someone who would love me like that.
My parents seemed to have it, which was why I didn’t understand my father’s misunderstanding of me.
I wanted someone that I felt I would die without. And that would not be my life. I would have to settle, and I didn’t like the idea of settling.
But when I weighed the pros and cons of my decision, I knew that I was making the right one for my life. I’d seen too much heartache suffered by women over the years.
Rather than settle for heartache with a man who may or may not love me, I had set my sights on the one thing that would bring me joy.
“Sheffield Tech is mine. I don’t understand what part of that people have such difficulty understanding,” I said adamantly.
“Oh, honey,” she said, getting up from her side of the table and sitting beside me. Wrapping an arm around my shoulder, she said, “Maybe you should talk to your father.”
“Not going to change a single thing.”
“Well, just give Russell a chance.”
I felt as if that’s all I’d been doing the last two years and two months whenever Russell visited me in the city to “court me.” Giving him one chance after another to prove himself, to persuade me, to woo me, and to make me fall helplessly head over heels in love with him.
But my stubborn heart wasn’t budging.
I WAS IN MY MOTHER’S office editing a fashion video that I’d shot for her online magazine. She’d convinced me to come on board to work with her in my “free time” since my return to Sunset Harbor.
She thought it was a wonderful way to catch up on everything we’d missed from each other’s lives during my absence. But I knew this was also her dream. Me coming to work with her in her company, no matter how fleeting the role might be.
My head jerked up after I thought I heard a voice. Looking out the window, I sighed. It had grown dark.
It was time for me to go home.
I’d spent my entire Saturday at the magazine because I didn’t want to be in the same breathing space with Russell. I’d used my need to work on this project for my mom as my excuse for bailing on date night. When I didn’t have to be around him, I chose not to. As it stood, we would spend more than enough time together one day soon.
His only focus was this impending marriage and what it would mean for his pockets.
Yes, I wanted Sheffield Technologies. I just didn’t want the stipulations that came with it.
Hearing the voice again, I shut down the computer and scooted back in my chair.
“Hello?” a voice called out.
“Uh, we’re closed,” I said, hurrying from my mother’s office to the front of the building.
I’d assumed that the last person had locked up before leaving. Maybe it was the cleaning staff.
There wasn’t a lot of staff working on Saturdays, but there had been a few to come in.
My mother had left an hour earlier, not feeling well. And all of her other staff left at the decent hours of one, two, and three. It was now almost eight.
Frustration swelled inside of me at the realization that I’d been in the office all alone with the door unlocked all this time.
I wasn’t worried about being the victim of a robbery. There wasn’t anything to steal other than maybe petty cash.
Our little ocean side town seldom saw any crime besides drunk driving or some teen swiping a handful of tomatoes, potatoes, or apples from the open-air market for the fun of it.
Every now and then, old Clyde Wayburn would get arrested for indecent exposure when he would drink too much at O’Malley’s bar and pee by the fountain near the square. But that was the extent of our crime spree.
Or at least it had been before I’d left. I’m sure not much had changed in all these years.
“I wasn’t coming for business,” Lake’s deep drawl curled around me like smoke as I stepped from the shadows.
My heart pumping erratically in jerks and thumps wildly in my chest, while my palms grew warm and clammy denoted a panic attack coming on, but I knew it wasn’t that. The way my thighs were clenching again and the warm flush creeping up my face was quickly becoming an alarmingly normal reaction to Lake Chambers.
“Lake, what are you doing here?” I asked, trying to maintain my composure as I stopped behind a desk for safety purposes.
Because if he touched me just one time, I might rack up a sexual assault charge.
Walking to meet me, he reached inside of his pocket and pulled out a card, flipping it to the back and passing it to me.
“I’m a man of my word. Here’s the information,” he said, wearing a smirk.
“Information?” I asked, looking at the card and back at him.
“Yes, the meeting request for Russell.”
Holding my head up and squaring my shoulders, I accepted the card. “Thanks, Lake. You didn’t need to do this.”
“Do what?”
“Drive down here just to drop this off. You could’ve called him up, you know.”
Snapping his fingers, he said, “You know, I thought about that. But I failed to get his contact information that night. Too bad.” He shook his head as though disappointed in himself.
>
Twisting my lips, I said, “You could’ve called me and gotten it.”
“How? I don’t have your number anymore either.”
“The same way that you found out I was down here.”
“You’ve got a point there,” he said, leaning across the desk and forcing me to back up.
“Running again,” he noted.
The way he leaned over the desk was so imperceptible, almost unseen, but somehow it closed the distance between us, making me wonder if we’d been this close all along. The distance wasn’t the only thing that felt infinitesimal, so was the breathing space. It took several seconds before I noticed that my chest was heaving as if someone had vacuumed all the oxygen from the room.
“I’m not running,” I said while walking around the desk.
“You act as if you’re scared of me.”
“What would make you think that, Lake?” I asked frowning.
“You seem uncomfortable in my presence. But I don’t think that it’s just my presence that frightens you. I think it’s what I make you feel.”
“You don’t make me feel anything, Lake. It was just a kiss,” I scoffed.
“Oh? Then why is your breathing erratic? Your chest is rising and falling...struggling for air as though there isn’t enough in the room. And the way you’ve clenched your fists and jaws, it looks to me as if you’re wrestling with yourself for control,” he said, jutting that arrogant chin in my direction.
Unclenching my fists, I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, surprised to feel chills on my arms.
“It’s the shock. I didn’t expect anyone to be here this late at night, so it caught me off guard, at first.”
“You sure? It seems like there might be something else,” he declared.
“There’s nothing wrong, Lake. I’ve just got a lot on my mind preparing to take on this business and doing some projects for Mom. Please...don’t read anything into this situation that there’s not,” I said. “So, if that’s all, I need to lock up around here and get going.”
“There’s something more that you can do to help me.”
It scared me to ask what I could help with, so instead, I stared at him indignantly, trying my best to relax my posture. But I couldn’t. I was scared to breathe in Lake’s presence, scared of what he made me feel, and even more afraid to acknowledge it.
“You’re not going to ask me what.”
“No, I’m not, because I don’t think that I can assist you.”
“You can. You can start by allowing me to take you out to dinner.”
Shaking my head rapidly, I said, “That won’t be possible.”
“Why not?” he asked, tilting his head sideways as if he were trying to figure me out. An evasive enigma.
“Lake, you’re unfair. I have a fiancé now, and I don’t think it would be fair to him if I did that.”
“How is it unfair for you to spend time with an old friend? We’ve been friends since middle school, Z. At times, we were inseparable. And now, because your dad is forcing this...idiotic idea on you, you can’t be free to be the person you’ve always been?”
“Who says I’m the same? People change, Lake. I’ve changed. I’m not the same girl I once was.”
“You always wanted your father’s company, but that didn’t stop you from making room for the things that mattered to you in your life. Friends. Fun. Freedom.”
“Who says that I’m not making room for what’s important to me? This company is important to me, and I’ve known what his conditions were since the first time we had a conversation about it!”
“Maybe you just need something that you lost so long ago to re-awaken. And maybe...just maybe I want to get to know this woman. The one you’ve become. You’re going to deny me the opportunity?”
I didn’t want to play this game with him. He would wear me down if I persisted. That’s what I convinced myself of, anyway. I would indulge in games all day with Lake Chambers if I knew that it was permissible. Yet, somehow, the fact that being around him like this would deepen the connection to him and sever the tie with my position at Sheffield Tech seemed to be inconceivable to him.
“I am engaged, Lake, and I don’t think my fiancé or father would take too kindly to me going out to dinner with a man that isn’t my fiancé or father. I don’t think that Russell would take too kindly to me going anywhere with you.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, his green eyes grew cold.
“Somehow, I doubt that’s true. Russell seems to only care about what makes Russell happy. Tell me something, Xiomara,” Lake said, stepping closer.
My hands balled into fists again and then released. My heart thudded loudly in the room.
My thighs clenched in response to his proximity to me and the words he spoke.
Lake’s fingers trailed from the tips of mine over my hand, across my wrist, and up my arm. He didn’t stop until he reached my shoulder.
He leaned in as if to whisper and then spoke the words that sent emotions swirling inside.
“How can you plan a future with a man who doesn’t even make your pulse jump? Someone who can’t make you feel alive when you’re around them, and you have to wear a mask of emotions in his presence? Doesn’t that get tiring after a while?”
Lake pressed a kiss on the side of my neck that had my belly tightening and me gasping for air. My eyes fluttered closed and open again as he took a half step back.
I shouldn’t have been surprised at how well he had read me. Lake always knew me and, in some ways, better than I knew myself. That scared me now.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Lake, and I would appreciate it if you’d stop presuming that you do,” l lied.
“That’s all that I’m trying to do, Xiomara, is get to know the new you better.”
“What if that’s not what I want?”
“I’d say that you’re lying. I can tell that when I come around, I make you feel alive. I’ve seen you with your fiancé, and you become something else,” he said, tapping his chin as those gorgeous eyes rolled up as if they were considering the ceiling. “Almost as if you have to put on a façade for him and your family. You want them to believe that you’re happy with this engagement, but you’re not.”
“I think it’s time for you to go,” I said, becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the fact that Lake picked up on things about me that my family and friends hadn’t seen.
Smiling, he said in a cocky tone, “I’ll be back, Xiomara.”
I watched as he turned and strode with those long, powerful legs of his toward the doors.
“Don’t forget to lock up,” he called over his shoulder as he pushed his way through the glass doors, leaving an aroma of mint and leather in his wake.
I stood there staring after him for several seconds until I came to my senses. I had pressed my hand against my lips for so long that when I pulled it away, I realized I’d been shaking. Only after I’d locked the door and stood against it for several minutes did my heart return to normal.
And as I made my way to the back to grab my purse and other belongings, I sensed his presence all around me. The entire office smelled of his cologne.
How in the hell did I have the strength and power to negotiate business deals and send people scurrying, but I couldn’t stand strong in front of this man?
I knew that I wouldn’t sleep well tonight because dreams of Lake Chambers would plague me.
CHAPTER 7 – XIOMARA (2 MONTHS LATER)
“REMEMBER, TONIGHT IS all about fun. It’s time for you to have a wild night. You’ve been stuck being chaperoned by Russell and your family since your return,” Chanda said, wiggling her eyebrows at me.
“You’re right,” I sighed.
I needed to have a weekend just to let go. My return home had been full of learning the duties at Sheffield Tech, moonlighting at my mom’s company whenever I had spare time, and spending time with Russell and his family when time allowed. I needed something that was all about me and allow
ed me to be free.
In the last ten years away from home, I’d focused on business. There was no time for partying or dating. I had three colleagues with whom I’d developed intimate relationships over ten years, nothing serious.
I shared a common interest with all of them, building our careers, preserving our reputations, and pleasuring our bodies while holding these secrets from our families. None of us had time to spare for relationships; our focus was on success at whatever cost.
And it was easy to maintain those connections, knowing that each of us was pledged to someone else. But being back at home, I had to tread carefully.
My vibrator was the only action I’d been receiving since my return to Sunset Harbor. Not even a kiss. The ones I shared with Russell were pretty chaste, with no tongue and no heat.
Now that I’d returned home and run into the one man that could command my body with just a look, it left me confused. My thoughts were in a spiral, keeping my mind off the purpose of my return home. Struggling with the mission that I’d embarked upon a decade earlier, I questioned if this was what I wanted.
I couldn’t imagine my life staying the course that it was with Russell. Boring, uninspired, and lacking in intimacy.
But I also couldn’t imagine giving up Sheffield Tech. It was what I was born to do. Right?
“I just don’t get you. I know that if I were engaged to a man, he would get it tonight. And Russell’s not bad looking, either,” she said, glancing at me and shaking her head.
“That’s because you’d be engaged to a man that you love and desire. That’s not my case, Chanda, and you know that.”
“That’s another thing I don’t understand. Why don’t you just start your own company? I mean, you’ve got the brains, the talent, the connections, and a nice bank account to invest in your own business. Not that you’d have to use your money if it came down to it, but at least you could dictate the terms of your relationships and find the true love you want,” she said.
“Chan, I don’t even know what type of business I would start if I were to start one of my own.”
The Arrangement Page 5