“How so?”
Russell took a sip of his wine before he commented.
“The friends in New York aren’t there for you anymore.”
“What? What’re you talking about, Russ?” I asked, grabbing my glass of wine with shaky hands to steel my nerves.
“Jai Patel, Neil Reddy, and Derek Ryder,” he said, spouting off the names of my former lovers.
I gulped the rest of my wine down and poured myself a refill.
Grabbing the edge of my napkin, I said, “Those are former colleagues of mine. I don’t know what you’re getting at.”
“Xiomara,” he said in a patient tone. “You don’t find it peculiar that I only named three colleagues through the many that you had? Where do you think that I’m going with this?”
Russell stared me in my eyes, and I looked away, my hands picking at the napkin on my lap. I tried to push out the tightness in my belly.
“You were with Jai for seven months, meeting at hotels, I wondered about that, but then I found that he was living with his fiance. All of your encounters with Neil for the three years you were together were at his place. And then there was Derek. Three and a half years. I must admit he had me worried for a while. He wasn’t like us. Not Indian, and no engagement to anyone. An athlete. Not your usual type, you’ve always liked the scholars, not the jocks. But then again...Lake Chambers.”
“Is not a jock. He’s a businessman through and through who loves sports.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, holding his hands out. “I didn’t mean to offend.”
“None was taken,” I replied quietly.
Russell stood and walked around the table, grabbing my hand and bringing me to stand in front of him. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he stared into my eyes.
“What is it about him you don’t see in me? No matter how much you deny it, you have feelings for him. I’m a good man, I respect you, and I’ll be an honorable husband. So, why can’t we try?”
“Look, Russ, I wish that I could forget him and just live this life that we’re supposed to live. The life that I pledged to live with you. You’re a good man, Russ. You really are, and I like and respect you. But I can’t do this. Find someone who loves and respects you for the man that you are. I can’t be that for you, and I don’t feel right using you to get my business. I love Lake Chambers, and I can’t change a thing about that. As much as I want to turn my back on that, as much as I thought that I could, it’s impossible. I’m sorry. I tried for ten years, ran away from a broken heart because of a man who didn’t want me, and I came back to all those same feelings. Maybe he’s not what’s best for me. And maybe he does only want me right now because he can’t have me. And yes, he probably will just break my heart again, but when I’m with Lake...I can’t even explain what he makes me feel, Russ.”
Lake had texted me all weekend, but I’d ignored his phone calls and texts. I’d promised Russell that I wouldn’t allow anything to interfere with this weekend, and I committed myself to that promise no matter how hard it was.
“Xiomara, there’s no guarantee he’ll be faithful to you. He always has a different woman on his arm, and everyone knows he loves Prestige. And you’re willing to give up every benefit you’ll receive from this arrangement for a ‘maybe’ with him?”
“I’m sorry, Russ,” I said with tears streaming down my cheeks. “I’ll take a maybe chance at love and happiness with him, over a lifetime of regret and wealth. But I love that man, and I can’t turn it off and walk away from him. I thought I could, but even if we marry, I’m not sure that I can, and you deserve better than that. I know that we initially agreed to live our private lives separately, but that’s not what I want. The man that I marry, I want to love him and be with only him.”
“So, this is it?”
“Why would you want me to be your wife, Russ? Other than the arrangement that we’re bound to?”
“We have the same goals and values in mind, Xiomara. You’re a beautiful, intelligent, well-respected woman whom I’d love to have by my side. Besides, I’m not interested in disappointing my father, telling him I failed.”
“And that’s what this all boils down to for you, isn’t it, Russ? Not wanting to disappoint your father. Do you have any feelings for me at all?”
“I do. I admire you, and I’ve grown to care about you over these last couple of years of dating. This is what I’ve built my life around for the last several years. You and me together. And now I have to look at changing that up? I just don’t know what that looks like for me.”
“So, what happens now?” I asked, looking at him.
Russell pulled his hands through his dark hair, dropped his head for a while, and then looked back at me.
“Well, I guess it’s time we had a conversation with our parents. I must figure out how I’ll work with my father to strategize our next steps related to the company. But what about you? I thought your father was adamant about you marrying to inherit this company. Marrying me specifically.”
“He was.”
“So, where does that leave you?”
“I still have some things to work out, but I’m sure that I will.”
“No matter what business you’re going into, Xiomara, you’ll be successful. I know this. But that’s not what I’m worried about. It’s your heart that I wonder if it will be okay.”
“Don’t worry about my heart, Russell. It will be just fine.”
CHAPTER 21 – LAKE
SHE’D STOOD ME UP. Not only hadn’t she shown up at the dinner party as she’d promised me, but she had returned none of my calls or text messages that weekend.
Trying to reach her hadn’t been easy, but I’d run into Senait in town on the following Monday. She’d informed me that Xiomara had gone away for the weekend with Russell to work on strengthening their union for marriage.
I wasn’t even sure how to deal with that.
She’d promised to give me the time that I needed. But if she’d left with him, I could only guess that meant one thing. She’d decided that gaining Sheffield was more important to her.
The door opened, and a beautiful, thick, curvy woman stepped inside.
“Hello, I’m Charli.”
“Good evening, Charli.”
“Would you like a dance?”
I had just put out my cigar and took a sip of my drink when the woman approached me. Eyeing her carefully, I compared her to Xiomara.
All the ways she was unlike Xiomara, I admired. Because at that moment, I couldn’t stand the thought of Xiomara.
I took in the woman’s smooth, golden skin, lighter than Xiomara’s. Her brown, doe eyes were assessing me as a beguiling smile played around petulant bow-shaped lips.
She was close to Xiomara’s five-nine height, give or take an inch, and thicker than Xiomara. And if I didn’t know any better, I could have sworn that I’d seen her somewhere before, but I wasn’t sure where. It didn’t matter anyway because her secret would remain here at Prestige, thanks to their confidentiality clause.
Wherever I’d seen her couldn’t have been too bad because Prestige vetted every member and employee from their background to their age. Her eyes held a knowing look as if she knew that I’d recognized her, but I didn’t know her identity. Those eyes also held wisdom beyond this world. As though they’d seen things they shouldn’t have.
There was a wariness in her that told me even if I were to invite her upstairs, she might not accept the invitation. But she was just beautiful enough that she could have tempted me before.
Before Xiomara.
Instead, I said, “Sure,” and took another sip of my drink in my private entertainment room at Prestige. A small fee would garner a private room in the strip club section of Prestige where a person could find satisfaction for every whim, except for sex.
The club didn’t prostitute out its dancers, but if they engaged in sexual acts, it was of their own accord, and they received no pay.
I watched as she walked to a corner to turn
on the music to set the mood. I’d come here tonight with the distinct plan of engaging in my former activities to purge Xiomara from my mind and heart.
But Harlow’s words played in my head like a broken record. I couldn’t go back to my old ways of having sex with strangers just to stay disconnected. Yet, once I arrived, I partook of a different pleasure. The art of striptease.
I didn’t mind watching a beautiful woman perform for me and tipping her handsomely. But at the end of the night, I would cancel my appointment after this performance and return home alone and find an alternative way to deal with the hurt. This would have to do for now.
By the time Rihanna’s Skin played in the background, Charli was on her knees in front of me with her legs splayed wide. Arching her hips up, she rolled back and over onto her right shoulder, pushed her legs into the air, and transitioned them parallel to the floor in an upside-down split as she remained on her shoulder with her face pressed against the floor.
The tiny leather thong she wore disappeared between her slit, giving me the perfect view.
Performing a series of seductive snakelike moves, she slid across the floor closer to me. Jumping up and arching her back, she ended with her ass on my lap. I kept my hands at my sides, giving her the respect that she deserved.
Pressing her hands to the floor, she pumped twice, making her ass clap and her slit pulse as the words “I know you wanna touch” poured out of the speakers.
My mind wandered to Xiomara, although I wanted to shut thoughts of her out. Images of Russell touching her the way that I had ran rampant in my head. Thoughts of him kissing her and his mouth all over her body the way that mine had been. And then the unthinkable...her mouth on his body and him inside of her.
Pulling a hand down my face, I turned my attention back toward Charli.
I’d been a damn fool for Xiomara. She was an engaged woman; it didn’t matter if it was an arranged marriage and if she said she didn’t love him. Still, she had just as much right to share her body with him as she did with me. Even more right.
I was the one that had no entitlement.
That thought was sobering, forcing me to realize that she owed me nothing, and I had lost her.
My life had to go on, and it had to go on without Xiomara. Signaling the waitress who stood in the corner with my empty glass, I continued to keep my gaze trained on Charli.
She was rolling her body from side to side while gyrating until she lowered into a crouch, her hands on her knees as she popped her pelvis forward, stroking between her legs.
Lowering her body to the floor, she slid across it and popped her body in fast jerks and gyrations until she was standing again.
Everything this woman did was sexy and commanding. She used her movements to seduce me and control the moment and captivate me. But I couldn’t help the fact that after a while, my thoughts returned to Xiomara again.
Slowly Charli rolled up again, popping her legs hard from one side to the next before she bent over, ass in the air, slid into a split, and then rolled her fingers across her slit. Tossing her head in circles, her hair twirled around in a halo, and then she blew a kiss.
I turned my glass up again and then swirled the last of my bourbon around in my glass as Charli made her way to me. Sitting on my lap, she worked her body from side to side; her breasts pushed into my face. Despite that, I kept my hands to the side.
Sliding up my body, she planted her stilettos on either side of me, pussy all in my face. My dick was twitching, but my mind was in control.
If I couldn’t have Xiomara, I couldn’t imagine what else I’d want to do that would keep me satisfied. I could tell that I was quickly getting over my addiction to Prestige because I hadn’t gone through with the appointment I’d made. And I did not incline to do so now.
When Charli finished dancing, I tipped her generously and thanked her for the performance.
“Go with your gut instinct,” she tossed over her shoulder as she prepared to leave the room.
“Excuse me?”
“Your mind has been preoccupied all night long. Only once did you get a woody. Now, unless you’re gay, something heavy is on your mind because I know that I’m a beautiful, sexy woman, but you weren’t even tempted to touch.”
“Umm, that wasn’t an insult to you.”
“Oh, trust me, I know that,” she said with a confident smile. “But I also know when men like you come in here, and their focus isn’t on me, it’s either business or a woman. And I suspect in your case, it’s a woman, which means you must be deeply in love not even to be tempted to touch. But either way...go with your gut instinct,” she said, flashing a brilliant smile my way.
Her advice was so simple, yet so real.
My gut instinct was to show up at Xiomara’s house to get the answers that I so desperately needed. No phone call or text message would solve this problem.
I gave a tip to the waitress and left the room. I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I knew that I needed to have one last conversation with Xiomara.
CHAPTER 22 – XIOMARA
“MARA!” MY FATHER GROWLED as I walked into his den after the housekeeper, Charlotte, had summoned me.
I hadn’t gone into the office that day, needing time alone before speaking with my father. I’d opted to go to my mother’s magazine instead.
My hands trembled, but I clenched them together to prevent him from seeing them shake. I’d asked Russell to give me some time to speak to my father after we’d left our getaway vacation. I needed to talk to Lake before telling my father that Russell and I would not be marrying one another.
But I guess that Russell couldn’t hold out, as it was now Tuesday, and I still hadn’t spoken to Lake. I wanted time to figure out a plan to persuade my father I could still run Sheffield Tech.
“Yes?” I asked as I took a step further into his den.
“What is this?” he asked, gesturing at his computer monitor.
Frowning, I approached his desk, wondering what he was referencing. I guess Russell hadn’t snitched after all. At least not yet.
As I drew near his desk, I spotted my mother sitting in a chair on the other side of the door I’d just walked through. Her expression conveyed disappointment in the downturn of her lips, the sorrow in her eyes, and how she turned her gaze away from me.
I could get no details from her and not even a hint of what this conversation would be about. I was certain it had nothing to do with business because my father never included my mother in business discussions.
I walked around his desk, saw his computer screen, and waited while he cued up a video.
It was a clip from the nightly news, and I watched in silence as he turned the volume up.
LADIES, NORTH CAROLINA’S number one bachelor just may no longer be on the market if this image is any indicator. Someone spotted our very own Lake Chambers at the Christmas villa on Cormorant Island with a special lady. A visitor spotted him and caught him on their Instagram live. They shared the video here. Look at Lake, giving a sweet kiss to this special woman on the forehead. Ladies, we all know what that kiss means.
The video switched to a scene of Lake wrapping an arm around me before he pressed a kiss against my forehead. I watched as I snuggled closer to him, and we walked across the street to the Santa who waited to give out gift bags.
The brevity of the moment as I faced my father’s wrath drowned out the fondness of the memories of that night.
I needed to decide what I would do now. Would I stand for my freedom or give in to my father’s demands?
Thinking about the possibility of losing Sheffield Tech, my heart dropped, and my knees shook, leaving me wobbled. Indecision rocked me as I stared into the fiery look in my father’s eyes.
“Xiomara, what is the meaning of this?” he asked once he’d shut the video down.
“Dad, I can explain.”
“I’m disappointed in you! You’re marrying Russell Darden, Xiomara! This cannot be happening. Do you know what this look
s like and what he and his father might think if they were to see this? I’ll tell you what they’ll think! They will think that you’re not the chaste woman we’ve depicted you to be and that you’re running around on your fiancé! Not a scrupulous woman of integrity! Do you know that you’ve put this merger and marriage at risk? This arrangement has been years in the making and one foolish decision with this boy! The reason that I suggested you leave in the first place and the first thing that you do when you return home is getting back mixed up with him again? How long? How long, Xiomara!” he exclaimed, smacking a fist on the top of his desk.
“Dad, I should have had this conversation with you a while ago.”
“What conversation?” he asked, standing up behind his desk, sending his chair spinning back.
“About what I want.”
“What you want? You don’t know what you want, Xiomara! You’re a foolish young woman who needs to have her father and her husband make decisions for her because if she doesn’t, she does foolish things because of her heart! This concerns me, and I’m not sure you’re ready to take the reins at Sheffield!”
“Dad! This isn’t okay! You and mom have raised two beautiful, intelligent women who have minds of their own. I know that you want us to follow our culture's norms to have our spouses selected for us to ensure our success, but we’re not living in that day and time anymore. I need you to be open-minded.”
“Open-minded? Open-minded!” he laughed. “I’ve been more than open-minded by allowing you to take a leadership position in this company at your husband’s side. That’s more than what most fathers would do!”
“By his side, Dad? The agreement and understanding were that I would lead this company. I would lead Sheffield Tech into its bright future, not run it by Russ’ side!”
“You’re not capable!”
“Dad!” “Gaurav!”
My mother rose from her position in the corner and came to stand by my side. A calmness took over me as she took my hand in hers and held onto it.
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