“I’ve been so blind, so afraid. How can you forgive me, love? How can you not hate me?” His voice broke. “I… thought I could just leave. That it wouldn’t hurt either of us. But thinking about it now feels like I’m breaking apart inside.” He was rambling in desperate sentences.
She placed a fingertip on his mouth silencing him. “You said you loved me?”
He nodded and she lowered her hand to his chest, playing with the buttons on his waistcoat. “I loved you for a while now. I’ve merely been too blind to see.” He held her tight then eased back to gaze down at her.
“How did you come to see it?” She looked at his chest, her lashes fluttering as she tried to remain calm.
“It occurred to me that I was already missing you, and that was only going to grow the longer we were apart. A year away from you would feel like a lifetime. That is part of what love means to me. My heart longs for you, burns for you. I kept thinking of all the things I wanted to tell you, the things I wanted to hear you speak about. If I left that would all stop and I couldn’t stand the thought. I know that isn’t all love is.” He sighed. “It’s so much more than that, but once I realized that, I knew I couldn’t leave. I had to come home…I had to come back to you.”
Philippa raised her eyes to his and his knees felt strangely weak. He’d never believed it when the poets spoke of that quiet, fervent fire of love that burned through one’s body and left them so weak and yet strong in other ways. The feeling was indeed frightening. Now that he’d tasted love, he wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.
“I never imagined I would have a life like this, or you,” Philippa said. “But now that you’re mine, I can’t imagine my life without you.” She smiled sadly. “I suppose I have my father to thank for at least one thing. If he’d never tried to kill me that night at Lord Lennox’s home, I never would have met you.”
She teased her fingers into his cravat, and then pulled his head down to hers for another burning and impossibly sweet kiss. He’d been holding back for so long, avoiding love and all along he’d missed the truth. Love was always worth it. With every risk of pain and heartache, it was still infinitely more than he ever could have imagined.
“We need to tell the captain we’re both leaving,” he murmured as he held her close, breathing in her scent.
“No. We’re going to New Orleans,” she said, surprising him.
“What? But your family and your friends…”
“They know my choice to leave London. Grandpapa is coming to visit us after he has his heir brought to London to start handling his affairs. My parents are going to spend time with Roderick. I’ve had their love for twenty years; it’s his turn now. I made my farewells to everyone at the breakfast and Lady Lennox helped me arrange arriving here before you.”
Beau chuckled. “I was looking for you to say goodbye. Stoddard said you didn’t tell anyone where you went.”
Philippa laughed. “I hope you aren’t upset, but I asked Mr. Stoddard and Mrs. Gronow to move to America with us. Half of the staff agreed to come as well. They are to follow us a week after Stoddard has the house closed. Your steward will manage your estate.”
“You accomplished all of this in one day?” He couldn’t believe it.
Philippa grinned. “With Lady Lennox’s help. We divided and conquered.”
Beau rubbed his hands down her back. “Do you truly wish to come to New Orleans? I wouldn’t force that upon you. I would happily stay in London.”
“I want to go. All my life I’ve wanted adventure, wanted something more. I didn’t know what destiny had in store for me until I met you.”
Beau’s heart tightened at her words. “Then I vow upon the path of our stars that you and I shall have adventures together, always.”
Always. The single word contained all the things he ever wanted to say to her.
“Sir?” A sailor stood at the doorway. “The captain wants to know if you need help leaving the ship?”
“Tell him my wife and I are staying aboard and we’re ready to set sail whenever he sees fit.” Beau looked at Philippa and she nodded in agreement.
“Very good, sir.” The sailor politely closed their cabin door, leaving them alone.
“Fifty days is a long time alone together,” Beau mused as he played with a lock of her hair.
“Oh, it is,” she agreed in mock solemnity. “You know, I had a grand plan to spend those days seducing you and convincing you that you could not live without me.”
“Were you now? I would be happy to play the cold and unfeeling husband if you still wish to seduce me,” Beau suggested and grinned rakishly down at her.
Philippa giggled and shoved him onto the bed. He stumbled and fell arse down on the mattress. She hiked her skirts up and straddled his lap so she could kiss him. He moaned in delight as it put their bodies in a perfect position to make love.
“I thought perhaps I would start with this…” she said coquettishly as she rocked against him.
“Christ… Yes.” He reached between their bodies, struggling with his clothes until he freed himself from his trousers. She continued to kiss him, laughing when he cursed as he struggled to remove her underpinnings. Then he was sliding into her and it felt like he was home the instant their bodies connected.
Philippa’s grey eyes flashed silver with passion and he held her close. Their mouths dueled for dominance as he guided her into a gentle rhythm upon him. The pleasure built up slowly but to ever greater heights until their release came and he felt every bit of his body and heart shatter along with hers.
He’d been such a fool to fear love, and he’d almost lost it before he’d even realized how wonderful it was. He nuzzled her neck, kissing her skin and tasting the faint sweat mixed with her natural sweet scent. She regained her breath, panting softly in his arms. He felt cut open, raw, and yet with her there with him, somehow he wasn’t afraid any longer.
“I was afraid of love,” he confessed against her ear as he simply basked in the joy of holding his wife. “But I should have been afraid of never having loved all.”
She stroked his jaw and their gazes locked. “You don’t have to be afraid. You are loved beyond imagining.”
His eyes burned and he kissed her back, this time fiercely as he wrapped his arms tight around her. “As are you, my love. Now and forever.”
Epilogue
New Orleans, three months later…
Philippa stood at the far end of a long dirt road that led to a white columned manor house. It had been almost completely ready for them to live in when they’d first arrived. Ashton Lennox had prepared for whoever was coming to manage the shipping line. Ahead of her, Beau stood next to a tall man with fair hair, one of the architects that Beau had recently hired to help build onto their new home. They were both devoid of their coats due to the warmth. The winter in New Orleans was far fairer than in England. Between them, they carried a wooden beam that would soon form part of the new nursery on the back of the house.
Philippa placed a protective hand on her stomach as she walked through the avenue of tall oaks that lined the road to their home. The wind moved through the tunnel of foliage, providing a cool breeze, and the nearby river lent more breeze off the water. She liked it, this tunnel of trees that seemed to channel all the elements of nature while guiding her back to the house.
They’d only arrived in New Orleans one month ago but already she felt like this was home. She could picture generations of children and grandchildren running through the house and grounds, dozens of Boudreaux descendants who looked like Beau with dark hair and whiskey colored eyes. It was a destiny she was certain would come to pass, perhaps even centuries from now.
Philippa held a letter in her hand as she finally reached the plantation house.
“Beau?” She called out.
Her husband came at once, wiping sweat off his brow with a handkerchief. “Everything all right, my love?” He embraced her gently, nuzzling his face against her neck.
; “We have a letter.” She held it up. He grinned as he recognized the heavy wax seal on the back. The St. Albans crest.
“Have you opened it yet?” Excitement danced in his eyes.
“Not yet.”
Beau scooped her up in his arms, carrying her over the threshold like a Celtic bride and deposited her on the settee in the drawing room. She broke the wax seal and read the letter’s contents.
Philippa and Beau,
I’m delighted to tell you that I’m on my way to New Orleans. In fact, there is a small chance I’ll arrive shortly after this letter. I’ve taken care to leave my estate in order and plan to remain with you both in New Orleans for some time.
All my love, Thomas Winthrop, His Grace, the Duke of St. Albans.
“He’s coming so soon?” Beau joined her on the settee. “By God, it will be good to see his face again.”
“Indeed, it will.” Philippa looked out the window and saw a coach coming up the long drive. Surely, they weren’t so lucky that St. Albans would actually arrive right after his letter.
“Stay here,” Beau rushed out to meet the coach, but Philippa ignored him and followed him to meet the arriving vehicle.
“My boy!” St. Albans cried out as he burst out of the coach.
“Your Grace.” Beau hugged the duke. His joy reflected Philippa’s own at the sight of her grandfather.
“Ahh, my child.” He drew her into a hug.
“Careful, Your Grace. She’s in the family way.” Beau interjected actively.
“Oh, hush. I’m only three months along. I’m not some delicate creature.” Philippa reminded her husband, but he did not look even the slightest bit apologetic.
“Congratulations!” St. Albans hugged her again and she knew in that moment she was complete.
“How are my parents, and how is Roddy?”
“Wonderful. They plan to sail out in the spring to see us and return to England after a month.”
“It’s a good thing we are building more rooms to the house, then.” Beau waved at the home.
“Good thinking, my boy. Well, show me around. Let me see what you’ve been up to.”
St. Albans entered the house after Beau, and Philippa laughed to herself with joy. She knew her grandfather was here to stay. His heart, like hers, belonged with family. The three of them belonged together. Each of their broken hearts had found healing with one another.
Beau turned to her in the foyer, holding out a hand. “Darling, come along.” Philippa ran to catch up. She saw the look upon her grandfather’s face, an expression of quiet but endless content. It seemed all was well with the world when one could be with those they loved with all their hearts.
She twined her fingers through Beau’s, and he pressed a kiss to her lips before they escorted St. Albans to the drawing room.
She beamed at him. “Welcome home, grandpapa.”
“Thank you, my child. Now, it seems you both have settled in?”
“We have,” Beau said proudly. He’d been working tirelessly on the house and it showed.
“Well, what made you come around to love, my boy? I can see you finally realized you loved my granddaughter.” St. Albans gentle honest question caught Beau and Philippa off guard only but a moment.
Philippa peered up at her husband from beneath her lashes, curious to see what he would say. Beau raised her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss there that drew forth a blush.
“I realized my heart was already broken the moment I decided to leave her in London, Your Grace. I changed my mind and found her waiting for me in my own cabin aboard our ship. She’d outsmarted me, and I was delighted to inform her that I was no longer afraid of love. I learned that loving someone beyond imagining is the greatest gift a soul can have, and that I’m gifted beyond measure.” Beau paused, his voice softened and his eyes brightened as he continued. “I never believed in fate until I met her. But it was fate from the moment we met. Life finally blessed me in a way I could never have dreamed.”
Philippa’s heart clinched tight as she looked at Beau. Fate had blessed them both. They’d both been afraid of love, afraid to love and lose. They’d both been so very wrong. Fate had brought them together and given them everything.
“And you, my dear?” St. Albans voice became slightly rough with emotion.
Philippa smiled. “It is as if I was destined to love him… Always.”
The Boudreaux Universe
To learn more about The Boudreaux Universe, click here:
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About the Author
USA Today Bestselling Author Lauren Smith is an Oklahoma attorney by day, author by night who pens adventurous and edgy romance stories by the light of her smart phone flashlight app. She knew she was destined to be a romance writer when she attempted to re-write the entire Titanic movie just to save Jack from drowning. Connecting with readers by writing emotionally moving, realistic and sexy romances no matter what time period is her passion. She’s won multiple awards in several romance subgenres including: New England Reader’s Choice Awards, Greater Detroit BookSeller’s Best Awards, and a Semi-Finalist award for the Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley Award. She was a 2018 RITA ® Finalist in the Romance Writers of America Contest. To connect with Lauren, visit her at www.laurensmithbooks.com
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Also by Lauren Smith
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The League of Rogues
The Seduction Series
Sins and Scandals Series
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The Duke’s Twin
Dashing Through the Snow
Tempted by a Rogue
Devil at the Gates
Bewitching the Earl
Seducing an Heiress on a Train
A Rogue for Christmas
No Rest for the Wicked
Contemporary
The Surrender Series
Ever After Series
The Love in London Series
Standalones
British Black Sheep
Gothic Romance (contemporary)
The Dark Seductions Series
Paranormal Romance
Brothers of Ash and Fire Series
Love Bites
Cyborg Genesis
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Of Sand and Stone
Boudreaux’s Lady Page 24