by Riley Rivers
“Would it—of course it would! He’d never trust me again.”
What should he even do? Keep listening? Go to his room? Pretend this wasn’t happening?
“Oh yeah? Come on, imagine it. You’ve had no one to rely on your whole life, you’re broke, you’re exhausted, you’re fucking homeless, and the first person to show you kindness in far, far too long turns out to be some dirty old man—” A sharp exhale. “Look, it’s fine. Just drop it. As long as he doesn’t know, it’s fine, and he’s never going to know. I’m happy just to help him in any way I can.” And, much softer: “At least this way I know he’s being taken care of. It’s enough. I don’t need anything from him.”
Frozen on the couch, Cameron distantly registered, “I know. I love you too. And I do appreciate you checking in. Just… yeah. Yeah, I promise I’ll call you later. Okay. Bye.”
Ezra walked back into the room.
“Hey,” he said, shoving his phone back into your pocket. “Sorry, that—Cameron? What’s wrong?”
Cameron licked his lips. “You want me?” It came out as a whisper.
Ezra’s eyes widened, and the room was suddenly overtaken with a sour, fear-filled scent. “What?”
“I heard you,” Camera babbled. “On the phone. I didn’t mean to listen but I heard—I heard—”
Ezra’s expression crumpled and he closed his eyes. “Fuck.” It was barely an exhale. “Cameron, I’m—I promise I don’t—I don’t know what you heard, but I promise I don’t want anything from you. I don’t need anything—I don’t want favors or—or—anything. I just want you safe and okay.”
Ezra took a step forward, then stopped, as if terrified he was no longer allowed to get close. “Please… please don’t leave. Please don’t go back out into the cold, please.”
Cameron’s throat was so dry. He clenched his hands on his knees, mind racing, desperate to say something—anything. I want you too. You’ve given me everything and asked for nothing. I want to stay.
Please keep me.
“I don’t want to go,” Cameron managed to get out.
Ezra sagged where he stood, the picture of relief. “God, okay. Okay. Thank you.” It was said so fervently it made Cameron flush. “If I do or say anything to make you uncomfortable, tell me. Please. Shout it, I don’t care. I’ll—I’ll leave if you need me to give you some space now that you… now that you know.”
Cameron wasn’t worth this. Wasn’t worth Ezra thinking of himself like a—
dirty old man
“I don’t need space,” Cameron said, shrinking at the thought of being alone here without Ezra’s warm, steady presence. “I don’t want you to go.”
Ezra nodded helplessly. “I—okay. Okay. Whatever you want.”
“I… I want…” He needed to do this right. Needed to say the right thing. He couldn’t mess this up or be misinterpreted or— Cameron swallowed. “I want you to touch me.”
The scent in the room changed at once to a mix of icy shock and the spicy-cinnamon smell that Cameron had been picking up ever since he’d been changed.
He realized, suddenly, that it was the scent of arousal. Ezra’s arousal.
Reacting to him. To nothing-much Cameron Drake.
The concrete evidence that Ezra did truly want him made Cameron brave.
He stood and took a step forward. Then another. Until he was right in front of Ezra, who was staring at him, stock-still but practically thrumming with energy. “Cameron?” A question. A plea, maybe.
“Wh-whatever I want, right?” Cameron said, tilting his chin to look Ezra in the eye.
“Anything,” Ezra whispered. “But I don’t—I can’t take advantage of you, please, I—”
Cameron reached up with shaking hands to curl his fingers around Ezra’s shoulders, solid and immovable, but finely trembling. “I want this. I want you. I-I want to stay. I want…”
“Yes?” It was barely an exhale.
Cameron closed his eyes. “I want to feel good. I want you to make me feel good. Please.”
Ezra let out a wounded sound and wrapped Cameron up in his arms, ducking down to kiss him.
***
They stood there in Ezra’s living room for several minutes, just pressing kisses to each other’s mouths. Cameron had thought he’d be more nervous, but instead it was just this soft, easy thing. The feel of Ezra’s lips against his, the slight scratch of his beard, the strong arms holding him tight. It was wonderful. Dizzying, but in the best way. He lost time to it, to how good and safe it felt, kissing Ezra.
Cameron didn’t have a lot of experience with kissing. He was too angry and quiet in high school, too withdrawn, too focused on trying to make a future for himself in a world that didn’t seem to want him. The most he’d really ever done were half-fumbled things during hookups, slightly buzzed on his side from being bought drinks that were otherwise too expensive. Said hookups were also few and far between. He’d never been the kind of guy to be led around by his dick. He didn’t have that kind of time or energy.
But while morning-afters were awkward, there’d definitely been a time or two he’d gone out looking for action because it meant getting taken back to a warm place with a bed, and some company in an otherwise entirely touch-starved life.
“Hey,” Ezra said softly, pulling back and cupping the side of Cameron’s face. “It’s okay if you changed your mind. We can stop right now and never do this again. It won’t change how I—it won’t change your position with me, or my promise to help you.”
“I don’t want to stop,” Cameron replied, eyes wide. “What did I—I’m sorry—”
Ezra shushed him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You just… smelled sad.”
Cameron swallowed. “You’ve been able to basically read my mind this whole time, haven’t you?”
Ezra looked embarrassed. “Not read your mind. But some strong emotions have scents. Sadness is… salty.” He stroked Cameron’s cheek with his thumb.
Cameron closed his eyes and shakily breathed out. “I’m not sad. I-I’m happy. It’s just… it’s been a long time since I’ve… had this. Had anything like this.”
“This?” Ezra asked.
“Someone touching me.” Cameron opened his eyes. “Someone caring about how I feel.”
There was a sharp intake of breath. “Oh, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. It sent something hot zinging up his spine. “Could we… could we keep…”
Ezra smiled and took Cameron’s hand, coaxing him back to the couch before taking a seat himself and pulling Cameron into his lap for more kisses. Each one was soft and sweet and surrounded by Ezra’s amazing scent, and it drove the unhappy memories far away. He’d never been so thoroughly encompassed by someone before in this way, especially with all his senses heightened. Being held in Ezra’s lap made Cameron’s stomach flutter with feeling secure and wanted, as did the spicy scent blooming in the room as they continued to kiss. It was amazing how much it increased Cameron’s own desire to know that Ezra desired him in turn.
“You can’t even imagine,” Ezra murmured against Cameron’s lips. “How much I’ve wanted this. How hard I’ve been trying to make sure I didn’t upset you—”
“I’ve wanted you for months,” Cameron gasped, and watched Ezra’s pupils dilate. “Oh, I—”
“God, you’re a dream.” Ezra kissed him again, licked along the seam of Cameron’s lips until he opened up for Ezra’s tongue, moaning at the taste of him, Ezra swallowing his sounds.
He was panting by the time they parted next, because it turns out it really was a thing that you could forget to breath when—when all your fucking dreams were coming true. He raked a hand through his hair and pressed his forehead to Ezra’s chest, which made his next words muffled. “Fuck, I—wow.”
Ezra chuckled, sounding much less breathless but no less pleased, and stroked Cameron’s back. “Wow?”
“Good wow. I… I never even hoped…”
“Me neither.” Ezra’s voice was filled with a
soft kind of wonder. “I still don’t… I’m not usually—”
Cameron pressed a kiss underneath Ezra’s jaw, marveling at how that made Ezra’s arms tighten around him. He did it again, and again, and then one of Ezra’s hands was burying itself in Cameron’s hair, tightening among the strands, and pulling back to expose Cameron’s neck.
The whole movement was still gentle, but it was also thrilling, being moved. To know how much raw strength Ezra had and seeing even an inkling of it. As Ezra bent to press kisses to Cameron’s throat, Cameron shivered at the knowledge that Ezra was strong enough to do anything he wanted to, really. And instead he was choosing to be soft, because he felt like Cameron deserved soft.
But
“You can… you can be rougher,” Cameron managed, the need to give Ezra that permission overcoming his own embarrassment. “If… you want to be.”
Ezra pulled back just enough to meet Cameron’s eyes. “Rougher?” Ezra’s own eyes glittered.
Cameron nodded, parting spit-slick lips. “I like it.”
Not usually. Not recently. Other people weren’t safe, weren’t to be trusted. Even if Cameron enjoyed harder touches sometimes, the people he could handle them from were few and far between. It took letting something in him go, to submit. To lower that wall.
“I want it,” Cameron breathed.
The hand in Cameron’s hair tightened further and when Ezra bent back down to lavish more attention to Cameron’s neck;this time the kisses were interspersed with sharp little nips and firm sucks.
Cameron moaned, clutching at Ezra, who let out a pleased growl before pulling the neck of Cameron’s shirt down and sucking hard over his collarbone. It sent a sharp bolt of arousal right through him. “Oh, fuck.”
“What else do you like?” Ezra whispered roughly. “What will make you feel good?”
Fuck. “God, I—anything.” Cameron tried to press closer, the scents and sensations making his head spin. In a moment of brilliance he twisted in Ezra’s lap, straddling him. It brought them into electrifying points of contract.
Ezra was hard beneath him and he smelled fantastic. His eyes were dark, expression almost predatory and so fucking hot, and he looked like he wanted to eat Cameron alive.
Cameron ground down into Ezra’s lap almost without thinking about it, chasing his own arousal, wanting to feel Ezra’s, and staggered by the possibilities. “Please—”
Warm fingertips crept up underneath the hem of Cameron’s shirt, skirting over his skin, and Cameron jolted at the touch. Not because it was unwanted, but because of how unexpected it was, how good it felt.
“More,” he pleaded, clutching at Ezra’s shoulders. “Touch me more.” Struck by a bolt of brilliance, Cameron leaned back just enough to pull his shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor.
Half-naked in a fancy living room while the snow came down outside, straddling Ezra, the most amazing man he’d ever met, Cameron wasn’t entirely sure what he’d done to get to this point in his life, but he was fucking grateful for it.
And Ezra was staring up at him as though Cameron’s pale, skinny ass was the best thing he’d ever seen.
But then Ezra shook his head. “No, not—”
Cameron’s heart sank. “No?” He hunched in, trying to hide, mortified that he’d gone and done something so stupid as to—
“Stop that,” Ezra said, pulling him in for another warm embrace. He pressed a kiss to Cameron’s forehead and Cameron almost couldn’t take the tenderness of it. “I meant… I—I want more. And I–” His eyes were wild. “I don’t think—you’ve been having a really stressful few days, and it’s not that I think you don’t know your own mind, because you do, of course you do, but–”
Ezra’s warm, deliciously spicy scent was mixing with stress now, but there was something else. It smelled like fear. Like Ezra was just as scared as Cameron was, of doing the wrong thing.
“Let me,” Cameron pleaded, cutting Ezra off. “Let me have this. Don’t think you’re taking advantage, or whatever.” He licked his lips. “My whole life has been people making decisions for me, or not having any choices at all, because it just came down to doing whatever I could to keep going. But this—this isn’t that. This is me finally getting to have something good. This is me getting to make a choice a-and choosing you. If you want me.”
“So much,” Ezra whispered.
Cameron took a breath. “I’ve never wanted something more in my whole life. Please let me have it.”
He could feel the way Ezra’s heart was pounding, his breathing ragged. Like Ezra wanted this just as much. At last Ezra said, “Well if anything else is going to happen, especially if it’s—if it’s our first time, it’s happening somewhere more comfortable than on my couch.”
“Your couch is comfortable though,” Cameron offered, more fire licking through him. If anything else is going to happen.
Ezra’s eyes widened before he let out a fond, indulgent huff. “It is. But I want to treat you right. And I promise that my bed is much more comfortable than my couch.”
Oh. “Okay, well, um. That’s alright then.”
A pause.
“Now?” Cameron asked hopefully.
Ezra grinned with all his teeth and shifted Cameron in his lap until he was sideways again, then wrapped one arm tight around Cameron’s waist and pushed the other underneath Cameron’s knees.
Then he stood up.
Cameron yelped at being moved and clung onto Ezra, going hot at how effortlessly Ezra had just lifted him up. “I can walk!” he said as Ezra started to move. He wasn’t exactly scared about being dropped, but he was still an adult person, even if he was probably underweight. “You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” Ezra all but purred as he headed for the stairs. “It just means I can have you in my arms longer.”
“I’m heavy!”
“And I’m a werewolf,” Ezra replied, voice colored with laughter. “You’d have to be a lot heavier to make me not want to do this.”
This was starting up the staircase with Cameron still in his arms.
Cameron flushed even redder and tucked his face into Ezra’s neck. Which turned out to be the best idea he’d ever had, because for some reason his scent was more there. Cameron inhaled a deep lungful before giving into the urge to kiss the skin of Ezra’s throat.
Ezra shuddered and walked faster, up the stairs and down the hall—to the doors that Cameron had never explored beyond, having wished to respect Ezra’s privacy.
Now Ezra was literally carrying him into the room. A totally surreal experience for several reasons, but definitely no less wonderful.
The room was large and airy, kind of like the studio, with a high ceiling and white walls covered in windows, though they were currently dark with swirling snow. There were a few hung decorations, but no photography, and that was about the extent of Cameron’s ability to pay attention to the room, considering that there was a huge bed against the middle of one wall and Ezra was headed straight for it.
Ezra wasn’t even breathing hard by the time he was bending to set Cameron down gently on the bed. Cameron gazed up at him, his own chest heaving with possibilities. He was in Ezra’s bedroom. He was in Ezra’s bed. He was totally going to have sex with Ezra. The literal man of his dreams.
Wow.
“Wow,” he breathed when Ezra stripped off his sweater and undershirt. He’d only just recently seen the man naked, but Cameron had also been trying hard not to look. Not that he’d succeeded very well. But now he was allowed to look his fill. And…
Ezra grinned mischievously. “See something that you like?”
“Oh my god,” Cameron croaked. “How are you real?”
The grin softened as Ezra knelt on the bed next to him and cupped a hand under Cameron’s chin, bringing him in for a kiss. “I’ve honestly been thinking the same thing about you.”
Cameron blushed right red, fidgeting with the hem of his jeans as pleasure unfurled inside of him. He was still so unused
to praise, and getting it from Ezra, whose opinion Cameron respected above all else was…
Ezra thought Cameron was worth something.
It frankly made Cameron feel more feelings than he wanted to be dealing with right now, already so close to being overwhelmed. So instead of figuring out a response, he hurriedly unbuttoned his jeans and busied himself with getting out of them, dropping them in a heap on the floor.
Left with only his underwear and socks, it was almost embarrassingly obvious how hard he was, just from some kissing and praise and promises. But when he looked up, Ezra’s eyes were focused and dark, his attention on Cameron alone.
The scent in the room changed then, in a way that was subtle but noticeable. It got thicker somehow, headier, mouth-watering notes of Ezra Ezra Ezra… and Cameron’s own scent, as well. Cameron realized then that soon he’d smell thoroughly like Ezra, and his heart skipped a beat at the thought. He had no idea why the idea was so appealing, but it was. Incredibly so.
Cameron reached for the waistband of his boxers with trembling hands. “You too,” he told Ezra, though it was more of a plea.
Ezra gave him a sharp grin and pushed down his own jeans and his underwear along with it, baring long, muscled legs and dark brown skin and a thick, curved cock that made Cameron swallow.
Cameron tore his gaze away to kick off his boxers. The bed dipped beneath Ezra’s weight before they hit the ground, the older man kneeling scarce inches away.
“Please say I can touch you,” Ezra whispered, reaching out a hand.
It startled a laugh out of Cameron. “I mean, yeah. I kind of hoped that was the point?”
Ezra’s eyes always crinkled when he smiled, and the obvious joy he got from the permission added to the big, bright ball of happiness swirling in Cameron’s stomach. “Perfect,” Ezra breathed, before closing the distance.
Kissing Ezra before had been amazing, but doing it naked was electrifying. Cameron could feel him everywhere, warm skin pressed against his own, and each touch lit up nerve endings Cameron didn’t know he had.