I found it all in the living room—my dress, shoes, and panties. My purse with my dead phone inside, and my Chapstick.
I made a girlish squeak of excitement as I snatched my phone up, leaving all the clothes where they were, and practically skipped to my room.
It wasn’t until I’d jumped on the bed and dove for the charging cable, knocking my newly casted arm on the bedpost, that I told myself that I needed to calm down. If not for any other reason than to not re-break my already healing arm.
That would be something I’d do.
Plugging it in and leaving it on the bed to reboot, I rushed to the shower and turned it on.
My eyes went to the green bottle of Irish Spring body wash that Ezra had brought over the last time he’d spent the night and inhaled deeply as I relished the smell of him in my shower.
Then I saw his razor and had a moment of panic that he’d done something crazy like shave his beard, but then I remembered that he liked to trim up his neck to keep it clean and tidy.
Panic attack prevented, I rushed through the rest of my shower, being sure to keep my casted arm in the air to prevent another visit to the doctor’s office today.
Once I was through, I quickly snatched my towel off the rack and walked to the mirror, smiling so fucking wide that I nearly cracked my face when I saw the note written on the glass.
It was written in a dry erase marker that I’d seen on the bar in my kitchen the day before. On it there were eleven words that made me impossibly happier than I’d already been.
You looked beautiful last night and this morning. Love you—Ezra.
Any happier and I just might burst.
This day was going to be perfect…I just knew it.
***
It wasn’t perfect. It was god-awful.
What I didn’t know was that while I was acting out last night, someone was videotaping me. And that video would be shared all throughout school by the time I arrived that morning.
I underestimated the power of a video, too.
Because by seven thirty, after I finished with the middle school drop off, I was the star of the high school campus—and not in a good way.
I hadn’t even made it all the way into school when I was stopped in the hallway by Camryn.
“Oh. My. God,” she whispered. “We’re on video!”
I frowned. “What?”
She pulled up her phone, and a grainy video of me and Camryn was on the screen, showing us rolling around on the mat with my head pressed to her breasts.
Moments after that, we separated, and I got on the bull.
The only reason I knew it was me was the bright goddamn blue cast.
I looked at the offending object and thanked God that I’d gotten it changed last night due to having some beer spill on it while at the bar.
Now the only thing on it was ‘I love Ezra,’ who’d signed it this morning on his way out the door.
I hadn’t even been aware that it’d been there until a middle school student that I’d helped out of the car started to giggle and pointed it out.
I’d grinned my stupid grin all the rest of the morning drop-off…until right now.
“Son of a bitch,” I whispered. “What the fuck?”
Camryn shook her head. “It’s too grainy to pinpoint either one of us. As of right now, it’s just speculation that it’s a teacher at all. I just wanted to warn you.”
The warning was a good thing, because I was able to more or less prepare myself when I was called into the principal’s office for the second time that week during my conference period.
I walked in like I owned the place and acted like I had no idea why I was there.
“Did I get another complaint lodged against me?” I asked, real worry in my voice.
Though not for the complaint, but for the video.
She didn’t know that, though.
Mrs. Sherpa’s lips twisted into a grimace. “No, I’m sorry. Quite the opposite in fact. Have you seen the video going around the school today?”
I blinked innocently at her.
“Ummm,” I hesitated. “No. What video? Is it of a fight?”
Oh, God. I was so going to hell.
Lying to the principal!
What had gotten into me?
“I have to say, Ms. Crusie, I’m quite disappointed in seeing this video,” Mrs. Sherpa noted. “I would’ve never expected these actions from you.”
I widened my eyes and stared at the grainy video yet again, frowning.
“What is it?” I asked.
Really, you couldn’t see a damn thing. All you could see were two women lying on the mat and hear them laughing. That was it.
Hell, I could make out Ezra’s back better than I could make out my face.
“It’s a video of two teachers at the bar ‘Ride ‘Em Joe’s.’ The one with the electric bull at it,” she explained.
I waited for her to go further into detail, but she didn’t, waiting for me to confess, I assumed.
I wouldn’t be.
She’d have to prove me guilty without me doing her any favors.
“I don’t see the problem,” I said honestly. “What is that video of?”
Oh, God. Could she tell that I was lying? My face felt like it was on fire. Absolutely burning up to a crisp. Any moment she’d call me on my lies. I just knew it.
Plus, without validation from the party in the video, she only had speculation and heresy.
Plus, my cast was entirely different than the woman’s in the photo.
Luckily you couldn’t see Moira’s largely-scrawled name on the cast due to the angle the video had been taken from.
“You should be more careful about what you do when you’re out in public.”
“That’s not me,” I lied. “And, even if it was me, from what I can tell, there’s nothing in that video that’s wrong.”
I hoped there wasn’t any more to the video than what I’d seen, because otherwise I’d just totally lied to the principal!
Mrs. Sherpa pursed her lips and then shook her head before placing the phone down on the desk in front of her. “I can’t prove that it was you, and I do agree. However, some parents have already called and said that they didn’t like how the teachers in this video represented themselves. How they’re supposed to be role models for their students…blah, blah, blah. Just pay attention when you’re…out.”
I nodded.
“And, just to give you an update on the grievance filed against you, we’ve deemed that it was irrelevant, and if you want your class back, you can have it. However, that being said, I’d suggest letting Coach McDuff finish it for you. If you still want the class next year, it’s yours.”
I didn’t know what to say to that.
I wasn’t sure that I wanted it so much as I wanted to finish what I’d started.
“Can I let you know by the end of the day?” I asked hopefully.
She nodded, then stood. “Coach McDuff informed me that you and he are seeing each other.”
I bit my lip, then nodded.
“There’s no policy on dating between teachers, just make sure that you use discretion.” She gave me a wink. “And congrats. I always had a feeling that you and him were going to end up with each other.”
My mouth fell open. “You did?”
She nodded. “It didn’t escape my notice—or anybody’s really—that you had a thing for him. Not in high school, and not now. It’s only escaped his notice, I think.”
I snorted. “Yeah, I agree. Sometimes I want to smack him for how little he noticed me in high school. It’s like this Ezra and that Ezra—the one that he was before he actually ‘saw’ me—are two totally different people.”
She grinned. “Sometimes it happens like that, darling. Now, get to class before you’re late.”
I did get to class, hurrying down the hall to get to my room before the tardy bell rang.
I would’ve
made it, too, had I not stopped and stared at the way Coach Casper and Ezra were carrying on in the middle of the hallway outside the gym entrance.
I’d stopped and stared, and then growled when I saw Coach Casper put her hand on Ezra’s arm, smoothing it up and down as if she wanted to do more than just touch.
I suddenly saw red.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I waited for him to notice me.
I don’t know how long it was—possibly an entire minute—before he noticed me, but by the time he did, I was already on plan five of plotting his possible demise.
He suddenly jerked his head up, saw me standing there, and grinned.
Coach Casper turned around to see what he was looking at and scowled.
I would’ve flipped her off had I not just had the discussion with Mrs. Sherpa about my possible behavior.
Instead, I turned on my heels after offering him a solid ‘I’ll kill you’ glare, and then sped off to my class.
I was almost there, pulling the door closed behind me when my belt loop was caught from behind.
I turned and glared over my shoulder.
I knew exactly who it would be, but my heart still gave a little flip at seeing those beautiful eyes and that smug freakin’ bearded face so close to my own.
“What do you want?” I hissed at him.
He grinned. “I wanted to say hi.”
I didn’t believe him.
Not for one second.
“Hey, Coach Duff,” one of the junior varsity players in my class called out. “Is it true that you’re seeing Ms. Crusie?”
Coach ‘Duff’s’ hand went around my waist and he pulled me back against him. “Yep.”
He popped the ‘p’ loudly, exaggerating the syllable loud enough that the students started to snicker.
“I heard you were seeing Coach Casper. How can you be with Coach Casper and Ms. Crusie at the same time?” another student, Rebecca, called out.
That was when I felt my stomach sour.
“Sorry, Becky. I’m not seeing anybody else but this hellion in my arms. Could y’all give us two seconds?” Ezra asked as he started to tug me out of the classroom.
“We guess so, Coach Duff!” another student called.
That one I couldn’t pinpoint who it was, but I had a feeling it was another one of his junior varsity players. The students that didn’t have him as an actual coach called him ‘McDuff’ while his players called him ‘Duff.’ It’d been something I’d recognized as I’d spent more and more time with the man.
The door closed in my face, and I sighed and turned, plastering my back against it. “Yes?”
I was still kind of pissed, but I was losing my ire rather quickly since he’d followed me, left Coach Casper, and then declared himself in front of my first period class.
By noon that’d be all over, that was for sure. Once lunchtime hit, there wouldn’t be a student in the entire school that didn’t know.
“Can I help you?” I asked, trying to hide my non-irritation when he only continued to stare at me with those all too knowing eyes. “I do have a class to teach.”
“Summer is almost here, woman.” He laughed. “You don’t have to teach shit.”
He did have a point. The only thing I really had to do with my class was go over the study guide I’d handed out yesterday, and make sure that they didn’t have any questions. Which, they likely wouldn’t. This was my smart bunch. My all A class that rarely ever needed anything from me other than to run their tests through the automatic scanner.
Now, if this had been my third period class, they’d be pounding at the door already asking for me to check their study guides.
“Whatever,” I muttered. “Seriously, what do you want?”
Ezra grinned.
Then he did the one thing I hadn’t expected.
He kissed me.
And my entire class behind me squealed—even the boys.
Ezra, laughing, left me there to deal with the havoc he’d created and sauntered down the hallway toward what I assumed was his office.
“That wasn’t nice, Mr. McDuff,” I called out to his back.
“It’s Coach McDuff, Ms. Crusie. Get it right.” He winked at me, then turned the corner to the hallway and disappeared.
My high lasted all of thirty minutes.
Why? Because one of my little turd-burglar students had posted a picture of Ezra giving me mouth to mouth, and I was reprimanded by Mrs. Sherpa to ‘keep it professional’ in front of students in a rather lengthy email.
I just knew that Ezra hadn’t gotten one, either.
My suspicions were confirmed when I texted him during the time between third period and lunch.
I was right.
He hadn’t gotten one.
But Coach Casper’s smug face, the first person I’d seen when I walked into the teacher workroom to grab my lunch, didn’t help.
“I hear that you were caught fraternizing,” she said stiltedly. “That’s quite unprofessional of you, isn’t it?”
I spilled balsamic dressing on my white shirt moments after that and then had to count to ten to keep myself from punching her in the nose.
It was Coach Casper giving me a mocking look that had what good mood Ezra had left me with disintegrating.
She’d sneered at me. “I just don’t know what he sees in you, but when he comes to his senses and comes crawling back, I’ll be here.”
“Crawling back?” I asked woodenly.
I didn’t want to know.
I didn’t want to know.
I should leave before she answered.
I didn’t leave, though.
Which proved to be part of my own stupidity.
I just couldn’t help myself, though.
I had to know what she was talking about.
Had. To.
“You didn’t know?” She snickered. “Ezra and I were a thing before you came along, tripping in front of him and giving yourself a bloody nose. That morning he’d spent the day in my bed.”
And that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Carefully picking up my Tupperware bowl that still had half of my salad in it, I tucked it gently into my lunch box and started out the door.
It was Coach Casper’s laugh that echoed through my brain all the way to Ezra’s office.
Ezra was busy when I entered his office.
He had on a pair of reading glasses I’d never seen him wear before, and he was talking on the phone to someone while discussing a play that had become illegal between the upcoming season and the last.
He saw me and frowned when he got a good look at my face.
“I gotta go,” he said into the receiver. “I’ll give you a call back tomorrow once I get more info on the rule. Right. Bye.”
Once he hung the phone up, he stood and started toward me, but I stopped him before he could get too close by holding my hand up.
“Stop,” I ordered, sounding sad.
He did, tilting his head to look at me.
“What’s wrong?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and tried not to scream at him.
But I had to know if it was true.
For some reason, it was extremely important to know whether he’d slept with her or not.
All this time, he’d been with me, but he’d at one time been with her.
“Coach Casper just told me that you and her slept with each other,” I said carefully, keeping an eye on his face.
Ezra blinked and then swallowed. “Yes. Before we were an item, I was with her a few times.”
And that was my heart shattering on his stupid shit brown concrete floor as it fell straight from my chest.
“You…” I looked down at my hands. “That’s…really shitty.”
Ezra stood up and started walking toward me, but I held up a hand and ordered him to stop. “No, don’t.”
He stopped, but not as far away as I wo
uld’ve liked at that moment in time.
I felt my insides quivering as I tried to think through what I wanted to say.
“Do you know what it feels like to be invisible?” I asked softly.
Ezra frowned. “What are you…”
“Because I do,” I continued, talking over him. “I know what it feels like, because I fought tooth and nail for you to see me since the first time I saw your face, and you never saw me.”
His eyes wide, he remained silent, and I suppose he was processing my words.
“You probably have no idea what it’s like because you’ve always been popular. Always gotten exactly what you wanted,” I murmured. “You’ve never been on the outside looking in. You’ve never sat there and wondered whether or not someone you had feelings for was going to look at you today, make eye contact and smile. I lived for those days, Ezra.” I paused. “And you never even knew how much they meant to me until right now, did you?”
“No,” he admitted, his voice soft.
I was glad that he didn’t lie.
I think it would’ve been worse if he’d lied.
“The day of my brother’s funeral, you said something to me,” I told him, my eyes never leaving his. “You smiled at me and told me that I had a bee in my hair. You got it out for me almost as if I was a flower instead of a person. You shooed it away, smiled, and kept walking. You had no clue that you’d just made my day infinitely better.”
He cursed lightly. “Raleigh…”
I shook my head. “You dated Chelley and Sheri. Tonya and Megan. Jocelyn and Sonny…”
He placed his hand over my mouth. “Stop.”
I shook my head. “All of those others? I could get over. I don’t know why knowing that you were with Coach Casper is different…but it is. It burns.”
And with that, I left and didn’t stop when he called my name.
I didn’t have to because just as I’d left his office, I not only noticed that the bell for the next period had rung, but also the entire football team was standing there, looking at me wide-eyed. Oh, and they looked like they’d heard every word.
Incredibly embarrassed now, I rushed out, not looking back.
I was thankful that I only had one period left, and that it was the end of the week to boot meaning I didn’t have anything to do after school, so I planned out my night.
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