“Pretty much. I make a mean omelet, but she’s got the talent.” Lynette finished her cheesecake in three bites and took a drink of her hot chocolate.
“How long has Claudia been working at the hotel?” Barb asked.
“Almost ten years.” Lynette sipped from her mug and didn’t say anything else.
“Did you work somewhere else before this hotel?”
“Sort of. I’m from out west, and I worked in a private kitchen out there for years.” She continued to sip from her cup, but she looked lost in thought.
“Out west, huh. I’ve never been farther west than Fargo, North Dakota.” Barb didn’t want to push for more information than Lynette wanted to give, so she sat back in her chair and remained quiet.
“Idaho,” Lynette barely whispered.
“We have a new officer from Boise. It sounds like a pretty state. Mountains and desert.” Barb hoped Lynette would elaborate. “The Snake River runs through it, right?”
“Yes. It runs through Twin Falls. I was sort of south of there.”
Barb sighed. She considered herself a patient person, but Lynette was the hardest person to get to know she’d ever met. She’d never met someone so unwilling to talk about themselves.
“I’m sorry, Barb. I think I’m being rude, aren’t I?”
“No. It’s fine, Lyn. Maybe we could repeat the dinner cruise and spend some more time together, or we could go on one of the boat tours or to the waterpark.” Barb set her cup down and took Lynette’s free hand in hers. “I don’t mean to push you. You tell me whatever you’re comfortable telling me. I want us to get to know each other while I’m here.”
“Are you going home soon?” Lynette sat up and leaned toward her.
“This is the first vacation I’ve taken in over five years. My chief told me to take at least three weeks. We have a couple of new recruits who are doing a good job taking over for me, so I’m here for three weeks for sure.” Barb wasn’t certain she’d stay the whole time. She wanted a few days to visit her brother. Her decision would depend on how much interest Lynette showed in her.
Chapter 8
“Nobody’s ever called me Lyn before, and I liked it when Barb did.” Lynette sat at her kitchen table with Starr at her feet. “Why do you think that is, sweetie?” She rested her hand on Starr’s head and felt the calm radiate up her arm to her neck. “She wants to get to know me, and I have to figure out if I want to let her.” She drank her coffee and pondered her dilemma. “Maybe I could use her as a test case. She’s leaving, so I don’t need to worry about long-term complications. But I could learn to open up a little, share myself.” She rested her forehead on her folded arms on the table. “What am I going to do? I like her a lot, but two betrayals were enough. I couldn’t live through another.” She refilled her mug. Lynette finished her coffee and pushed aside more thoughts running through her mind like a broken record. She laughed at herself for speculating, since she had no intention of leading Barb on or putting herself in a vulnerable position. Barb was a new friend who’d be going home in a couple weeks, nothing more. “Let’s go for a quick walk before work.”
Lynette’s heart wanted to trust Barb. Her lips were warm and soft. Her touch was gentle, and she smiled at the memory of their evening together. She had no idea how to reconcile her past with her present. She’d spent years in therapy and worked with a cult survivor group, but so much dysfunction might take her a lifetime to get over. And who would want to be in a relationship with someone so broken? She fed Starr and headed out the door.
She shook off her pondering as she drove to work. She wouldn’t put herself in a vulnerable position like she’d already done twice. She’d settled into a job she liked and an apartment where she and Starr were comfortable and close to her aunt. She was safe here and wasn’t worried about her past finding her. Initially she’d moved around a lot, worried they’d be looking for her, but here she practically blended into the scenery, which was just the way it should be. Barb would remain a pleasant memory after she went home.
“Good morning, Claudia.” Lynette put her purse in her locker and joined Claudia in the kitchen.
“Good morning. Hey, I have a question for you.”
“Yeah?”
“I saw you with Barb yesterday. Do you two have a thing going?” Claudia asked.
Lynette scrambled for an answer. She had no idea what their relationship was or where it was going. “We’ve been talking over the past few days, if that’s what you mean.”
“I saw the way she looks at you. I think she wants more than only friendship.” Claudia leaned against a counter and grinned.
“Did she tell you that?”
“No. She said you were friends, and she was only here for a vacation. Anyway, it’s none of my business, but I want you to be happy. Just…be careful with your heart.” She pushed off the counter and grabbed a large serving spoon. “I’ve got the warming pans heated, and the potatoes are almost done.”
Lynette went to the restroom for a moment of quiet in an attempt to settle the uncertainty gurgling in her gut. She wanted something with Barb, but she didn’t know what, and she didn’t want to lead her on. She raised her fingers to her lips. They still tingled from Barb’s brief velvety kiss. She suppressed the unwelcome craving, took a deep breath, and decided to stick with friendship. Friends talked and spent time together, but friends also shared who they were with each other. Could she offer that vulnerability to Barb? Could she handle even friendship with her? It would be fairer than anything more, but Barb would be leaving in a few weeks, so why should she bother? Claudia’s words echoed in her mind. Be careful with your heart. No solid answers came to her, so she made a mental note to make a therapy appointment and left to help Claudia prep for breakfast.
She checked the pans as the guests made their way from one to the next and refilled them as they emptied while she kept an eye out for Barb. She didn’t see her anywhere, and her table had been taken by a couple. She gave up looking for Barb and continued to check the pans and wipe down the area as needed before going back to the kitchen. “Any word on your sous-chef position?” Lynette asked.
“The executive chef called me last night. He has someone else in mind with a bachelor’s degree and much more experience. But I’m on the list in case it doesn’t work out.” Claudia shrugged and went back to setting up the coffeepot.
“Maybe something better is out there waiting for you,” Lynette said. She felt bad about the flare of relief that Claudia wouldn’t be leaving after all.
Claudia nodded. “I was thinking the same thing. I’m not letting it get me down. Something bigger and better is on the horizon.”
Lynette appreciated Claudia’s positive attitude. It was what had first drawn her to her when they met, and they’d been friends ever since.
“Everything looks pretty good here. I’m going to head home now. I’ll be back before the dinner rush.” Lynette retrieved her purse and waved to Claudia as she left. She was halfway to her car when she heard the voice she’d been hoping to hear all morning.
“Are you leaving?” Barb called from across the parking lot.
“I am. I’ll be back for the dinner buffet.” She waited for Barb to catch up to her. “Did you have breakfast?”
“Yeah. I went to the little restaurant down the street. So, are you going home?”
“I am.” Lynette hesitated, but she wasn’t about to invite Barb to her home. It was her sanctuary.
“Ah. I was hoping we could walk by the river or something.”
“I don’t usually get a chance to go home in the middle of the day. I’m going to take Starr for a walk. Would you like to join me?” She held her breath waiting for an answer and wondering who’d taken over her voice.
“I’d love to, but I don’t want to intrude on your time at home.”
Lynette pointed to her car, and Barb followed and climbed into the passenger seat. Exasperation warred with fear as she drove home. What was she thinking? She didn’t even rea
lly know Barb that well. But she was attractive, and nice, and she wanted to spend time with her. Did that mean she was trustworthy? Maybe, maybe not. She sighed internally. It was too late now. She couldn’t exactly drop her off on the side of the road and say she’d changed her mind. But in the future she needed to be more careful. Slipping up could have consequences.
She stayed quiet as she drove the few miles home. Just to be extra careful, she took a more roundabout route, and butterflies fluttered in her stomach when she pulled into her carport. Nobody but Aunt Jen had been to her apartment. She unlocked the door and let Barb go in first, knowing Starr would greet her and she could gauge her response to her.
“She’s beautiful.” Barb sat on the floor with Starr squirming in her lap.
“Yes. She’s my baby.” Lynette waited for the questions when Barb stood and picked up Starr’s blue Therapy Dog harness, but she placed it back without a word.
“Let’s walk first, and then I’m going to make us grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch.”
“Sounds good,” Barb answered. “And thank you for letting me intrude on your free time.”
Lynette secured Starr’s halter and clipped on her leash. “Let’s go, sweetie.” She chose the one-mile trail, which followed along a river part of the way. She hoped Barb would enjoy it enough so she didn’t miss the river walk.
“This is nice.” Barb stopped to look at a birch tree on the shore. Starr stopped and sat until she caught up with her and Lynette.
“I think my dog has a new best friend.” Lynette grinned. Starr was sensitive to whoever was with her. “She takes care of anyone around her.”
Barb chuckled and scratched behind Starr’s ear. “She is special. I told you my brother is a Michigan state trooper. He gets to work with service dogs all the time. How long have you had Starr?”
“Seven years. She’ll be eight this year.” Lynette hugged Starr and absorbed her calm.
“I’m glad you have her. Shall we continue?”
“Yeah.” Lynette wrestled with the decision to tell Barb the reason she’d never be without a therapy dog. But there was no reason to. They wouldn’t have that kind of friendship.
Lynette relaxed as they continued along the path with easy conversation. Barb pointed out different flora along the way that Lynette had seen but couldn’t identify. Starr tugged on her leash as they got close to home. “Here we are.” She released Starr, who looked up to make eye contact with her before Lynette nodded, and she galloped to the door.
“Thanks for the walk. It’s nice to have someone to share it with,” Barb said as she followed Lynette inside.
“Thank you for joining us.” Lynette rinsed and refilled Starr’s water bowl before washing her hands. She smiled and turned to face Barb. “I know you like Swiss cheese, but I’m going to introduce you to one of the best, and most popular, cheeses in Wisconsin. Grand Cru. It’s an Alpine-style cheese, and I love it.” She put the sandwiches together and placed them in the pan to cook.
“Sounds perfect. Let me know if I can help with anything.” Barb sat at the kitchen table.
Lynette took a deep breath to settle herself and shake off the surreal feeling of having Barb sitting in her kitchen. She’d longed for someone besides her and her aunt to share a meal with at home, and it was happening totally unplanned with Barb. It probably should scare her, but it didn’t, and she considered that a positive thing. She remembered a discussion in her recovery group around accepting new friends into your safe space. Fear, distrust, and uncertainty were conferred. None of those fit for her as she stood at her stove with Barb nearby. Maybe some uncertainty, but she’d worked hard in the twelve years since she escaped to learn how to be, and have, friends. This was a perfect way to test how far she’d come in her recovery.
She sat at the table with Barb, and they shared a nice lunch and light conversation. Barb didn’t mention Starr’s therapy dog harness and didn’t push for more personal information. Lynette took the shortest route back to the hotel, feeling a sense of relief and a growing fondness for Barb.
Chapter 9
“Thank you, again for the lunch. I think Grand Cru cheese is my favorite now, too.” Barb stretched as she stepped out of Lynette’s car. “Will I see you at the dinner buffet tonight?”
“I’ll be here,” Lynette answered.
“I look forward to it. Take care.” It seemed to be getting harder to keep her hands to herself. She’d wanted to wrap her arms around Lynette and pull her close but felt her resistance, and Barb had to respect her feelings. If this attraction turned out to be only one-sided, she’d be disappointed, but it was Lynette’s decision, and as disappointing as it would be, she’d accept it.
Barb took the long way back to her room to enjoy the afternoon. She’d enjoyed every minute she’d spent with Lynette and could sense her becoming more relaxed with her. She’d almost asked her about the reason she had a therapy dog, but thought it would be best if Lynette offered the information herself. She hoped she could win her trust enough before it was time for her to go home so that they could see if they could continue to see what might be between them even after she left. She relaxed on her balcony with one of her romance novels until it was time for dinner.
Barb startled awake and blinked to orient herself. She’d been in the middle of a chapter and had fallen asleep. She drank a glass of water before heading to the dinner buffet.
“Hi there.” Claudia stepped next to Barb and linked arms with her.
“Hi, Claudia.” Barb smiled and leaned away slightly.
“I was hoping I’d get to see you again. How much longer will you be here?” Claudia asked.
Barb tried to think fast. She liked Claudia, but she hoped to spend the time she had left with Lynette. “I’m not sure. Maybe a week or two.”
“Cool. I’d like to take you to dinner on the sunset cruise. I’m working tonight, but can you make it tomorrow?” Claudia leaned close and hugged her arm.
Barb could tell Claudia she had tickets for something, but she hated lying. An evening with Claudia wouldn’t be as interesting as it would be with Lynette, but she seemed nice enough, and the food was good. Besides, Lynette seemed pretty clear about her boundaries. “Sure. What time tomorrow?”
“I’ll pick you up about seven thirty.”
“Can I meet you outside the dining area?”
“Sure. Sounds good. I’ve got work now.” Claudia leaned and hugged her before turning to leave.
“One less evening to spend with Lynette,” Barb whispered to herself as she returned to the hotel to enjoy the view from her balcony. Her discomfort with Claudia’s forwardness triggered thoughts of her own. Did her actions make Lynette uncomfortable? Had she been too pushy with her? Damn. The last thing she wanted was to scare her away, and Barb sensed that would be her reaction. She’d have to talk to her tonight.
Barb put her jacket over the chair and hurried to the buffet line. The roasted pork chops smelled delicious, but her focus was on finding Lynette. She filled her plate and lingered at the end of the table hoping to see her. Claudia stepped in front of her as she turned to go back to her table.
“Hey. It’s good to see again so soon. Did you get enough of everything?” Claudia leaned and whispered in her ear. “There’s more in the kitchen, so if you need anything else, ask.” Her breath tickled her neck, and she ran her hand down her back to the waistband of her jeans.
“Uh, thanks, Claudia. Everything smells great. I think I’m good.” Barb stepped away and glanced into the kitchen to see Lynette standing in the doorway with a tray in her hands watching them. Double damn.
She kept looking to the kitchen as she ate, but Lynette had disappeared. She waited until most of the guests were gone before she went to the kitchen to find her. She found her as she reached the back door. “Lynette, can I talk to you for a minute? Please?”
Lynette stopped and turned toward her. She looked as if she’d been crying, and Barb’s stomach dropped.
“Lyn, I n
eed to talk to you.”
“It’s all right, Barb. I understand. There’s nothing to talk about.” She started toward her car.
“Lyn, wait.” She reached her before she opened her car door. “I wanted to talk to you about something. Can we sit for a minute?”
Lynette slid into the driver’s seat and motioned toward the passenger side.
“Thank you.” Barb got in and had her attention but wasn’t sure how to begin. “I like you. A lot.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I need to know if I’ve been pushy with you. Like, I don’t know, come on too strong?” She tried to put into words what she felt with Claudia. “Like I made you feel uncomfortable. Have I?”
Lynette smiled and reached for her hand. “I like you, too. And I feel things with you, but I wouldn’t call them uncomfortable.” She looked out the window before she turned in the seat to face her. “I’m not looking for anything romantic. I’ve been burned before, so my feelings toward you frighten me.”
Barb gently stroked Lynette’s hand with her thumb. “I never want to scare you or make you uncomfortable. I’m asking you to please tell me if I am.”
Lynette looked down at their hands and intertwined their fingers. “Claudia is my friend and a great person. She’s probably a better choice to spend time with than me. She has less…baggage.”
“I don’t want to spend time with Claudia. I don’t mean I dislike her, I mean I want to spend time with you. You’re special to me. I feel a connection I’d like to explore.”
Lynette sighed deeply and looked conflicted. “I do enjoy spending time with you. But she might be a better choice for you.” She gave her a small, sad smile before she drove off, leaving Barb to her thoughts.
Later that evening, Barb relaxed on her balcony with a rare glass of wine. She’d found two bottles of the kind Lynette had ordered on the sunset cruise in a small store near the hotel. She sipped the wine, and her thoughts drifted to Lynette and her words about being burned. Maybe she had a lover who cheated on her or left her. She never understood why people cheated on their lovers. She had no room in her DNA for deceit. Maybe because she fell hard when she found someone she allowed herself to fall for, and had no desire for anyone else. She finished her glass of wine, got ready for bed, and hoped for dreams of Lynette.
Love's Truth Page 4