by R. S. Lively
I peer into the tub, and I am hypnotized. It’s deep and long. I bet I could swim in it. Footsteps pattering on the floor let me know Luca is back. He sets our champagne flutes down, along with the bottle on the edge of the tub. Next, he squats under the sink and produces a few candles, lighting them with a lighter and setting them in each corner of the tub.
“Ready?” He turns down the lights, the candles making a mystical glow around the tub.
I don’t answer. Instead, I dip my toe in the hot, steaming water, testing it to make sure it won’t burn me. It’s almost too hot, and I hiss when I try to sit down, but I try again, getting accustomed to the temperature. Luca settles in behind me and pours us a glass of champagne. If I keep drinking, especially in this hot tub, I’m going to be plastered.
I sip on the crisp, semi-sweet beverage and sigh, leaning my head back against his shoulder. He takes his foot and turns the knob off, and we lie there in silence. It isn’t awkward. I don’t feel the need to fill it with useless small talk. It just feels… natural and right.
“Tell me about yourself,” he says, rubbing the bubbles over my skin.
“There isn’t much to tell.”
“I doubt that. I want to know everything about you. Why didn’t you tell me who you were the night at the ball?”
My heart clenches when I remember that night. It was full of so much happiness and so much heart ache. Some days, I wonder if I imagined it all. “I just wanted a night where I didn’t have to be myself. You know. We talked about this before.”
“But what was so wrong with who you were, that you wanted that? Because I love who you are—to hide it should be a crime. ” His warm, deep voice resonates in my bones as he makes me swoon.
I sigh until I feel like my lungs are about to collapse. “I haven’t had the best life. Well, I did, for a while. I had a loving mother and father. The best little brother. We had money. I never wanted for anything,” I say. It all feels so long ago now. Like another lifetime.
“What happened?”
“My mother died. It was really hard at first. The transition from a big happy family to one cold and unfamiliar. It happened slowly, but quick at the same time. Dad became distant and uncaring, and he met someone that is just as cruel as his hate for life. Her name is Tabitha and she came with two girls of her own. Dad married her. He shipped my baby brother off to boarding school, and he ignored me. Tabitha treated me like gum under her shoe, and any times her daughters did something wrong, she blamed me, and would tell Dad it was my fault. Slowly, I watched all the love disappear from my father’s eyes. He hated looking at me. I think it’s because I remind him so much of my mom. I look just like her. Then he died, leaving me with Tabitha. I thought I’d get a little money in his will because of my mom, but everything went to Tabitha. Every single cent. She kicked me out, my brother and I both. I drove us to New York City, drained my savings, and got a job at Kimmel Infrastructure.”
I take a deep breath and continue talking. “Jesse had been away for so long at boarding school that him and I didn’t even know each other. It’s so hard, raising a teenager. I mean, he is mostly grown, but getting to know each other, finding common ground, knowing what to punish him for and not to punish him for. He has to go to school. And you know what? I never have to yell at him for anything like I thought. I mean, my dad yelled at me, so I figure that’s just how it’s done, but he’s a good kid, and he got a job to help with the bills.”
“It sounds like you miss him.”
“I do. We have gotten to know each other over the months, you know. We live in a horrible apartment, but he tries his best to help me make it feel like a home. And then there is Alice—that’s just a conversation for another time. She is so lost. I just don’t know how to reach her anymore.” I make waves with the water, moving my hand through the bubbles. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Tell me your life story.” It’s my turn to prod.
“I don’t have much to say. I had a good life. Having a king as a father is never easy, so my mom and I became really close.”
“Yeah? That must be nice. I miss my mom.”
“I’ll miss mine too.” His voice is barely a whisper.
I turn in his arms and straddle his waist, looking at him with confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I found out today she’s dying of a brain tumor. Her and my father kept it from me for six months, hoping she could beat it—”
“Now she isn’t, and you can’t ever get that time back?” My heart breaks for him when I see the look of sadness and betrayal stricken on his face.
“Yeah, they robbed that from me. I know I need to forgive, because she’s dying, but I can’t right now.”
“Love her, and forgive her when you’re ready, that’s all you can do.” I lay my head against the strong curve of his shoulder, inhaling the scent of vanilla from the bath.
He wraps his arms around me and sighs, tightening his hold. We stay like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s touch, and then he lifts his head from my shoulder and gives me a quizzical expression. “Wait, did you say your dad left you nothing?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Don’t you find that a little odd? Why would he do that?”
I shrug my shoulder, not really caring anymore. “Because he stopped loving me?”
“No, he loved you, but he loved your mom, too. I don’t know, maybe it’s nothing. Come here.” He yanks my body close again and rubs his stubble along my skin. The rough scratches make my body shake, sending currents of electricity flowing through my body. “Thank you,” he says, kissing a pathway up my neck until he is at the bottom of my ear.
“For what?”
“Being here.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Luca.” I run my hands through his hair, staring into the face that’s won my heart.
“Good, because you belong with me, always. I’m never going to let you go.”
The words warm my heart and break it all at the same time. It is an unspoken issue that I know we need to talk about. Because in four days, I’m supposed to leave. My brother is back home, and I can’t leave him there forever. And if I have to choose, as much as I love Luca, I can’t leave the only family I have left.
Chapter Twenty-One
Luca
Five days have gone by since she got here, and they have been the best days of my life. There have been a few hiccups, like with that Kimmel guy, and my mother and father lying to me, but having Rosie here makes all the difference. Speaking of Kimmel, no one has seen him or heard of him since I kicked him off the landing a few days ago. Hopefully, he is back in America where he belongs.
It still makes me wonder what Rosie’s plans are. I’m afraid to ask her. Right now, I’m in blind bliss. My idea of what will happen is that she will be here every day for the rest of her life, with me, but that’s just a dream. The reality is much harder to swallow.
I roll out of bed, leaving a still-sleeping beauty next to me. I place a kiss on top of her hair, smelling the scent of vanilla left over from our vigorous bath. Fuck, she is a hellcat when it comes to sex. I twist in the mirror, seeing the claw marks on my back to prove it. “Damn,” I say with a smug smile. I love making my sweet feel good.
Even if it makes me bleed in the process.
I take out a plain T-shirt from the drawer and slip on my one and only pair of jeans. I don’t have anything important on the agenda today since my father is back, but I am going to talk to him and my mother. Enough is enough. Then, after that, I’m taking my woman to the pool tonight. We’re going to swim naked. I’ve been dying to know what her body looks like under the moonlight.
Shaking the thoughts away out of my head, I brush my teeth, wash my face and head out. My feet are bare as they hit the cold concrete of the ground, and I go down the steps. It’s still quiet in the castle, but I know everyone is up. No one ever really sleeps in this place. I walk around to the other side, where the o
ther staircase is, and climb, reaching the only door on this side of the castle.
I stare at it for a minute, replaying what happened last time in my head. Whatever answers are behind this door can’t be as bad as they answer I got last time. Blowing out a pent-up breath, I knock. I hear a weak protest from my mother and the deep reassuring voice of my father.
I told myself everything is going to be fine, but the sound of his voice and feet coming closer to the door sends a rampage of anger through my veins. All the feelings that I have put aside with him, all the frustration with how he has run the kingdom, and now the lies with Mom? I can’t forgive him for that.
Before I know it, the door opens and a look of surprise flashes across his features when he sees me. I don’t even think. I don’t hesitate. Someone else must have invaded my body, because I’m letting my fist fly until I punch my father, the king, right in the face. He stumbles back, and I kick the door open. It slams against the wall, the sound shaking the old bones of the castle.
“Luca!” my mother shouts, using all of her strength before slouching back in the bed, gasping for air.
My father stands, gripping onto the coffee table for support. He wipes the blood off his lips with his arm and stares at it. “I haven’t had anyone spill my blood in two decades.”
“Maybe you aren’t fighting enough, then. Aren’t kings supposed to bleed for their country?” Venom poisons my words, hoping the meaning behind them disables him. I just called him a coward.
“Good kings don’t have to spill blood to make a difference.”
“Yeah, the only difference I can see is the king neglecting his queen. Your decision killed her!” I throw my fist again, catching his chin. He falls backward against the bed.
“Amour!” my mother says with urgency, crawling over to where my father lies.
He lifts his hand to stop her. “It’s okay. He needs this. This isn’t between a king and a prince. It’s between a father and a son.”
“Since when do you care about being my father?” I hiss. “You’re taking away my best friend. You took that from me. You took that time away from me.” I step forward, nose to nose. “I will never forgive you for that. Do you get that? Do you understand? When she dies, I will hate you.”
“Luca. Do not speak to your father like that.” My mother coughs, but the warning in her eyes is all the same. That cold, hard gaze has been the same since I can remember. “I told you this isn’t on him.”
“It is on him. It’s on both of you. Stop making excuses for him.”
“I know you’re angry with me. You have every right to be,” my father agrees, touching the side of his cheek to see if there’s any blood.
“Damn right I do.” I cross my arms over my chest, feeling victorious. When I see my dad’s face, guilt eats at me, and I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. He looks just as tired as Mom does. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. It hurt. It will take time for me to fully forgive you. But nevertheless, I should have never hit you.”
He stands in front of me, blood trickling out of his bottom lip where it split. He slaps a hand on my shoulder and dips his head to stare into my eyes. “I don’t blame you for hitting me. I knew it was coming. You’re very protective of your mother. I wanted to save her without telling you. I didn’t want you to worry.”
“But what about now, Father? How much time do I have left with her?”
“I’m right here still. I’m alive and well. Okay, not well, but alive,” Mom jokes, coughing into a napkin.
“Mom, it isn’t funny.” I sit down on the edge of the bed like I did yesterday and take her hand in mine. “Don’t joke like that. And why aren’t you in the hospital where they can monitor you and take care of you if anything happens?” I rub my thumb across her fragile hand, the skin loose and wrinkled. How did I not notice this before?
“There isn’t anything they can do for me.” The look she gives me will haunt me for the rest of my life. Tears swim in the blue depths, but they don’t fall. She controls her sadness, pulling it back so none of us fall apart yet.
I shake my head, not believing for one second that there isn’t a doctor somewhere out there who can help her. “So what, you are at home to die?”
When neither of my parents say anything to deny it, but also don’t say anything to confirm it, the silence speaks for itself, and it’s deafening. “I see,” I say, getting my emotions in check before I explode again. “There has to be someone in the world that can help her.”
“I’ve been researching. The tumor she has is large. It invades the parts of the brain that control speech and sight, as well as her memories. Surgery could kill her.”
“And whose decision was that? Did you make that decision, Mother?”
She stares at her hands and glances at her husband, knowing damn good and well who made that decision. “Do you want to have the surgery, Mother?” I ask, needing to know if there is any chance that I can save her.
“I do.”
“It’s foolish! I will not have her die from it. She is staying here, where she can live out the rest of her days with us.”
I stand with bad intentions, narrowing my eyes into small slits as I stare at him. “Don’t act like you are doing this for her. You are being selfish because you want to keep her here, but this isn’t living. She can hardly walk.”
“I’m dying anyway, Amour.” She reaches out for my father to take her hand, and he goes to her without question. The pain in his eyes can only be described as terror and heartbreak. My father is a strong man, but he crumbles when it comes to the love he has for my mother.
“I can’t lose you to surgery when I can have a few more months with you. Please, don’t do that to me,” he begs, laying his head on her chest.
“What I am doing is not living, Amour. I’m just waiting to die. I will rather try to live than wait to die.” Her boney fingers run through the salt-and-pepper hair on my father’s head.
I have to look away when my father sobs, turning his face between her breasts. He clutches onto her, letting all the pain out that he has been holding in for months. It makes my own emotion peek through surface, my eyes burning so hot from the need to spill tears, but I keep them in check.
“Okay,” he says through strangled breaths as he tries to calm down. “I’ll research the best. Only the best for you, ma vie.” He calls her ‘his life’ as he stares at her with so much love and adoration, I can only hope that Rosie and I love like that. My parents have been together for thirty-five years. Imagining what life will be like without your best friend after so long? Excruciating.
I want to tell them about Rosie but decide to leave them in their healing heartache. I slip out of the room without them noticing and run down the steps with newfound determination. I am determined to find someone who can save my mother. If not, I know that it won’t be long before my father steps down as the king and announces me as the next successor.
“Good day, Prince,” Marcel says from the kitchen, stirring something that smells absolutely divine.
“Hi, Marcel,” I say while continuing my hurried strides back to my room. When I open the door, I find Rosie talking on the phone with her brother.
“I’ll be back soon. No, I’m fine. Really. I don’t know. You’re okay, though?”
I can only hear her side of the conversation. There’s sadness in her voice that matches what I feel in my heart, for a million reasons.
“Okay, good. I love you too. Bye,” Rosie hangs up the phone with a heavy sigh.
“Everything okay?” I ask, wrapping my arms around her slim waist.
“Yeah, I miss him, but I’m going to miss you.”
I cuddle my head against her neck, staring at the view beyond the balcony. The flowers are blooming, and the scent of them flows through the air, reminding me of how Rosie smelled the night of the ball. “Do you have to go back?”
Her head falls back onto my shoulder. “Yes, if not for a little while. I’m without a job now
, I’m assuming. My brother is there and needs me.”
“We can bring him here,” I say without thinking, but I still mean it. If she had a big family, I’d move them all here.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” she says.
“You aren’t, I’m telling you. I don’t want to be without you again.” After what is happening with my mother and the pain my father is feeling, I want every second I can with Rosie until time decides to end it. I can imagine fifty years from now, us old with silver hair and aged skin. We will be watching our grandchildren run in the flower fields while holding each other’s hand.
Just like my parents did.
My life existed before Rosie, but I never truly lived. Rosie is the beginning to a new life full of love, and I can’t miss it. We’ve already lost three months; now, I want three lifetimes. I want forever. I want the afterlife. My soul is tethered with hers now, whether she believes me or not, but wherever she goes, I go.
Boundaries because of different countries be damned.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Rosie
The sun has set beneath the trees. Luca and I spent the day researching neurosurgeons for his mother. I hate that he feels so hopeless and helpless. I don’t know if what we are doing will make a difference. It may be too late, but I won’t stop until answers are found.
Speaking of answers…
“I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner,” I say, clicking to a new tab on the computer Luca is letting me use. The day has been long and full of no promise as we search for a doctor to save his mother’s life. It’s different here in Belgium than in the States. The entire country will be affected by the queen’s death, but a woman who dies in America that is a mother—the family mourns.
It isn’t just a family we are fighting for. It’s the entire country.