by E. L. Todd
“I’m sure it’s fine, sweetheart.” He turned back to the court. “We need two players. Who wants to sit out?”
“Oh, I will.” Matt took a seat. “I’m happy to be a spectator for this.”
“Let’s do this.” I moved onto the court.
Dax gave Carson’s ass a playful smack before he walked away. “I’m covering you.”
“Good luck keeping up with me.”
“I kept up with you pretty well last night.” He winked then jogged onto the court.
Carson and I were on the same team, so we relied on each other to get the ball across the court because we had a connection, while the rest of the guys were strangers.
Dax stayed on Carson like he said he would, covering her closely, towering over her and giving her a hard time when she tried to pass the ball. And he definitely invaded her space more than necessary, his hands moving to her hips, to her back, touching her and grinning as he did it.
The guys were definitely impressed by Carson’s skill. She couldn’t run as fast as the rest of the guys, but her shots were good and she had great instincts. She ran to the hoop like she was going to dunk it, making all the guys pause in surprise, but then she threw the ball back to me. I managed to sneak around and make a three-point shot.
At some point, the guards rotated, and some other guy was covering Carson.
“Tim, switch with me.” Dax left his guy open to take Carson.
“I got it.” Tim kept his arms up, so Carson had nowhere to go. All our teammates were covered, and he suffocated her, tried to get her to drop the ball, moved into her space unnecessarily.
When Carson attempted to take advantage of an open player, she tried to jump up and throw it, but Tim knocked her down.
“What the fuck did I say?” Dax went from calm and suave to psycho in a nanosecond.
“Guys, I’m fine.” Carson got up like nothing happened.
Dax glared into Tim’s face. “Go.”
Tim jogged to the other player.
I knew Dax wasn’t being possessive of Carson. He was just concerned she would get hurt, because once the guys realized she was a good player, they would forget she was a chick and treat her like a dude. The best way to ensure she didn’t was to guard her himself.
“You alright?” Dax’s hand went to her arm.
“I’m fine. Seriously, I’ve been through worse. He didn’t mean anything by it.”
Dax let it go, and we resumed the game.
When we finished, we wiped off with towels and prepared to leave.
“You guys want to get a beer or something?” Dax asked, wiping the towel over his bare torso to collect all the sweat.
“Beer?” I asked. “I’d rather have food. I speak for Carson too.”
He chuckled. “Beer and food, it is.”
“Thanks for looking after her on the court,” I said. “She’s tough, but sometimes she doesn’t know her own limits.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” His smile faded away.
“I know she’s difficult, so please don’t give up on her.”
He lifted his gaze and looked at me again, surprised by what I’d said.
I was equally surprised I’d said it. “She’s just got some really thick walls, and it’s hard for her to let anybody in. Well, anybody besides us.”
“Some guy really fucked her up, huh?”
I shrugged.
“I’ve been there.”
“You have?” I asked in surprise.
He nodded. “I get it.” He pressed the towel to his face to pat the sweat from his forehead.
“Does she know that?”
“Yeah.”
Then why was she being so difficult? He was the perfect guy to start over with.
Dax moved his hand to my shoulder and gave me a friendly squeeze. “I like that you look after her.”
“She’s like my sister.”
“Yeah, I can see that. We’ll see what happens. I really like Carson, but I’m not gonna bend over backward for someone forever. She’s either gotta meet me halfway, or I’ll move on.”
I didn’t want Dax to go anywhere. He was the best guy she’d brought around in a really long time. “I’ll work on her.”
The four of us went to a sports bar and got some appetizers and beers.
Dax sat beside Carson in the booth, drinking his beer while glancing at Carson from time to time. “I’ve got to be honest, sweetheart. When you told me you were good, I wasn’t expecting you to be that good.” He leaned back and slid his arm over the back of the booth.
“Why?” She grabbed a handful of fries and shoved them into her mouth.
He shrugged. “Good is an arbitrary description.”
“I told you I played in college.”
“But do you play regularly now?”
“No.”
“It’s natural to get rusty. But you dominated the court like you play every day.”
She smiled slightly, clearly touched by his praise.
I drank my beer and kept my mouth shut, but I wanted to tell Carson that he wasn’t a man intimidated by a woman’s ability, that he was impressed rather than uncomfortable, that he was so secure that he never felt unsure of himself. That wasn’t the experience I’d seen Carson have throughout her life, so this was something to hold on to.
“Well, you were good, too.” She dunked her fries into the ketchup before putting them in her mouth.
“I can tell the guys were impressed,” Dax said. “But then they forgot that you were a girl.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” she said.
“Well, I don’t want you to get hurt.” His hand moved to her other arm. “You’re too pretty to get hurt.”
She grinned again while looking at her fries. “Too pretty, huh?”
He nodded, looking at her with amusement in his eyes.
She dunked a fry into the ketchup before holding it out to him.
He opened his mouth and let her place it on his tongue before he chewed it.
“Okay, you’re hogging the fries.” Matt tugged the basket closer to us. “Get some to go and continue that at home.”
Carson chuckled. “You’re just jealous that Dax is the hottest guy on the planet…and he’s mine.”
Matt narrowed his eyes. “Bitch.”
A smile moved into Dax’s expression, but he covered it by drinking from his beer.
Thirteen
Carson
I knocked on the open door. “Lay it on me, Vince.”
He looked up from his laptop, then quickly shut it. “We’re running it tomorrow.”
“What?” I stepped inside and gripped the sides of my skull. “No.”
“Yes.”
“No revisions?”
“I made a few changes, but other than that, it’s solid. Took a while but…”
“That’s why it’s solid. Because I worked my ass off, alright?”
He grinned. “You always work your ass off, Carson.”
I did a little dance in front of his desk, throwing my hands in the air.
He chuckled. “Do that somewhere else.”
“So, what am I going to work on next?” I dropped my hands and straightened, becoming professional again.
“Not sure. Take a break.”
“Take a break?” I asked incredulously. “This bitch doesn’t take a break.”
He rolled his eyes. “You’ve earned a day or two. Enjoy it.”
“Alright, fine. But I want something good.” I headed out of his office. “Something scandalous.”
“Carson?”
I turned back to him, standing just outside his office.
“Good work.”
Dax texted me at the end of the day and asked me to join him at the bar for a drink. I walked inside and found him sitting in the booth, drinking his usual scotch, while my glass of Bordeaux sat there, calling my name.
He was looking out the window when I slid into the booth. In a dark t-shirt and with a clean jaw, he was sex
y, as usual. He turned his gaze on me, his brown eyes beautiful and deadly, his short hair begging to be fingered. He greeted me silently, taking another drink of his scotch.
“They’re running the article tomorrow.”
He set down his glass, a soft smile on his lips. “That’s great. I’ll grab a copy.”
“It’s a looooong article.”
“I’ll read every word. Congratulations.” He held up his glass.
I tapped my wine against his scotch and took a drink. “Thank you.”
“Are you off to the next article?”
“No.” I rolled my eyes. “My boss gave me a few days off.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“I’m one of those people who are happiest when they’re busy.”
“No surprise there.” He took another drink before he set the glass down.
I stared at him for a while, feeling my heart start to ache with pain. The breath slowly left my nostrils, a little shaky, a little uncertain. I looked into my glass before I swirled it and brought it to my lips.
His eyes were on me the entire time. “What?”
“What?” I licked my lips.
“You just crashed and burned. What’s wrong?”
He could read me as well as Charlie. He was naturally observant. “There’s nothing wrong. I just wanted to talk to you about something…”
“Alright.” He held the glass in his fingertips, sitting there in a rigid position, so still like a statue. His eyes didn’t blink, and his presence suddenly became hostile, as if he already knew what would happen before I said a single word.
“I think we should just be friends.”
No reaction at all. He continued to stare at me like he hadn’t heard what I said. He still didn’t blink.
I took a breath and waited for a reaction.
Still nothing.
“I just think we’ve had our fun and—”
“Sweetheart, be real with me.”
Now I was still because I was surprised by what he said.
“You’re ending this with me because you actually like me.”
“No. I just—”
“Don’t lie to me.” He kept his voice low and never raised it. But he could somehow be loud while being quiet.
I shut my mouth.
“You’re cutting ties before these feelings grow. Because you’re scared—fucking scared.”
I took a deep breath but didn’t speak. It was the first time I had nothing to say.
“I thought you weren’t scared of anything.” He lifted his glass and took a drink.
I didn’t like being on display, being observed through a lens inside a microscope. I didn’t like that he didn’t let me get away with things other men didn’t even notice. He called me out on my shit, put me in my place, and I hated it…but respected him for it. “I guess I’m scared of one thing…” I inhaled a deep breath, feeling the old pain blossom once again.
His hostility dipped slightly. “What happened, sweetheart? What did this man do to you?”
I shook my head.
“I’ve got a past too. Show me yours, and I’ll show you mine.”
I pulled my wine closer and took a drink. “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change my decision—”
“Answer me.”
“I was married,” I blurted. “Happily married. And he had an affair with his assistant right under my nose, and I didn’t even notice…because I trusted him blindly. He left me for her…” I looked into my glass and stared at the wine so I wouldn’t have to look at him.
He was quiet.
“It’s been a year. Maybe it’s been long enough for me to move on, but I’m genuinely not interested in having another relationship. They never work. They never last. People you trust will backstab you at some point. I just don’t want to do it anymore.” I took a drink, my head still down.
“That’s not true. Your friends would never backstab you.”
“That’s different.”
“It’s not. You love them and they love you. It’s love, sweetheart. That can be applied to a man too. You’ve just got to find the right one.”
“I thought my husband was the right one.”
“Well, we all make that mistake.”
I lifted my gaze and looked at him, inhaling a deep breath. “You?”
“Pretty much the same story… with just a few differences.”
“Really?” I asked in surprise. “You’re perfect.”
He didn’t smile or seem touched by the raw comment. “I think the same thing when I look at you. So, maybe we aren’t the problem. Maybe these two people were the problem—and we need to let it go.”
“When did this happen?”
“About a year ago.”
“Why are you in such a better place than I am?” It’d been the same amount of time, but he was confident and strong.
“I’m not in a better place.”
“It seems like you are…”
He stared down into his glass before he shook his head and took a drink. He licked his lips to catch the drop he missed. “Because I understand that it wasn’t my fault. That there’s nothing wrong with me. She’s just not a good person…and I didn’t see it at the time. Not because I’m stupid, but because I don’t spend my time looking for the bad in people. I’d rather see the good.” He grabbed his glass and took another drink.
I inhaled another deep breath, feeling even more connected to him than before. He really was incredible, not just because of his looks, but because of everything underneath that hard chest. This had never happened before, that I’d found a guy I actually liked…and I didn’t like that. “I’m just not in that place yet. I’m not ready to even try. I’d like to just be friends…and if you don’t want that, I understand.” I knew I’d found buried treasure, and I was choosing to cover it up with dirt again. I knew I’d found a stunning diamond, but I was choosing to throw it into the ocean. I looked like a crazy person.
He stared into his glass for a while, his fingers gently spinning it on the surface. He had such sharp features and dark eyes that were impossible to read. He held that position for a long time, processing what I’d said. “Alright.” He lifted his gaze and looked at me. “Friends it is.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Charlie was on my ass the second I walked in the door. “Are you crazy?”
Matt was on the couch. “He’s, like, the hottest guy in the world.”
“And he’s a good guy,” Charlie snapped. “Why would you call it off?”
“Stop.” I held up my palm, silencing him. “Don’t you think it would be worse to see him and waste his time? To try a relationship when my heart isn’t totally in it? Yes, I like him, and that’s why I’m not going to do that to him. I know what it’s like to think you and another person are on the same page, and then to find out you’re completely wrong.”
Charlie didn’t have a response to that because I was right.
“And I can’t rush it. I’m not there, alright?”
“I think you could be there if you actually tried,” Charlie said. “You like being devoid of all emotion because it’s easier that way. It’s not because you aren’t ready. It’s because this is safer.”
“Shut up, Charlie,” I snapped. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’re my best friend. I know exactly what I’m talking about. I know you better than you realize because I observe you objectively.”
“Look, it’s done,” I countered. “I already broke it off, and he accepted that.”
Charlie moved his hands to his hips, looking at me furiously. “So, what now? You’re just gonna hang out as friends?”
“Yes.”
“And you think that won’t be awkward?” he asked incredulously.
“Not to me. He seemed fine with it.”
He rolled his eyes then headed to the couch. “I think you just lost a really great guy, Carson. But whatever. Do whatever you want.” He plopped down and g
rabbed his beer, giving me the cold shoulder.
“Why is this so important to you?” I countered. “I don’t need a man to be happy—”
“It’s not about having a man.” He turned to me. “It’s about moving on. It’s about accepting something good in your life.”
“You don’t even know him. He could be a—”
“I read people pretty well, and I think he’s the best guy you’ve ever met. And you just fucking blew it.”
Fourteen
Carson
It was all over the news.
Once my article hit the stands and the internet, it was all anyone could talk about.
And I was so proud to have my name listed on the story.
A dream come true.
Colleagues came by my desk and asked me about my process, where I got the information, what it was like to shake down the big banks. It had taken me years to move up in the office, to get these stories, and I was filled with so much pride. It filled the void in my chest, the emptiness that was so deep.
My phone lit up with a text message from Dax.
Good job, sweetheart. There was a picture of the newspaper on his desk, the headline and my name on the front.
I read the message three times, was touched by the words he’d written to me, the fact that he still went and bought the newspaper even though I’d dumped him. It was so sweet I didn’t know what to say. My eyes softened, and I grabbed my phone, unsure what to say back, to express how much that meant to me. Thank you.
He wrote back instantly. See you on Wednesday. We’ll get a drink to celebrate.
Alright. See you then.
I walked through the door with the bags of groceries in my hands.
Matt and Charlie were getting ready to leave.
“You guys going out for dinner?” I set the bags on the dining table. “Because I got some important stuff, including beer.” I lifted a six-pack from the bag and held it up. “The good shit too.”