I dump everything out of my backpack and fling it over my shoulder. Without anything in it, it barely weighs more than a pound or two. I tuck my most important possession, my tablet, underneath one of the seats in case anyone comes down here while I’m gone. If they discover the stuff I’m leaving behind, at least I might be able to come back for it. I stand before the stairwell doorway with my hand halfway towards the push bar and pause. I have to talk myself into doing this even though I need the supplies from the higher levels. After what I saw last night I’m terrified of going back up.
I take a few deep breaths and finally force my feet to move. I let the door swing shut behind me and listen to the stairwell. It’s quiet with none of the noise from the fight I heard last night so I slowly creep up, step by step. When I reach the door to the level that I had been staying in I have to take another few deep breaths to shore up my courage.
When I step through, I hear the sounds of the drill sergeants calling out instructions to the soldiers and breathe a sigh of relief. The majority of them will be in the center area and I should have a free path around the edges to get to the pallets where the boxes of MRE’s are stored. After a few steps onto the level, I imagine I’m a ghost and I move smoothly from container to pallet without making any noise. I only stumble once and it’s when I come to the area that used to be my home for the past two weeks.
I can’t help my eyes tracking down the length of the mattresses expecting to see Captain Cote lying dead on her mattress still. I will my body to move when I see that all four of the mattresses are empty except for blankets and the one that I used to occupy has been removed. I shake my head to get the memory of her dead eyes out of it and turn away to complete my mission.
It’s only a few more steps to where the pallets with the rations are located and I hunker down behind one of them and squint my eyes in the dimness to read the words stamped on the outside of the boxes through the shrink wrap that holds them stable on the pallet. A slight grin crosses my face when I read the words I had hoped to see. The next step is going to be getting through the shrink wrap without destroying all the stability of the stack. It takes a lot of work and my nails ache from tearing at the many levels of the plastic wrap, but I manage to make a big enough hole halfway up, in the center of the stack. Carefully, I slide out one of the cases, peel back the tape holding the flaps of the case closed and quickly start transferring the individual MRE’s into my backpack until it can’t fit anymore. I close the flaps of the mostly emptied case back up and try and get the little bit of stickiness left on the tape to keep it sealed and then push it back into the hole that I had pulled it from in the middle of the stack.
Happy with how my mission has gone so far, I try and quickly throw my pack back on to my back and stagger at the weight of it. I hunch my shoulders against the weight of all the meals and briefly consider leaving some of them behind for my next trip but decided that I need to toughen up and instead start shuffling back the way I came. I’m definitely not as smooth and ghost-like as I was on my way here but I make it back to the stairwell door without alerting anyone. I’m careful to check the stairwell to make sure it’s empty before I enter it and guide the door closed so that it won’t slam and alert anyone who might be on one of the other levels.
When I make it back to the train platform I let my pack drop off my shoulders and drag it the rest of the way into the train and throw myself down on one of the padded seats. A giddy laugh escapes me as the adrenaline that was rushing through my body floods away, leaving me exhausted. Using my foot, I drag my pack closer and dump the meals out on the floor. The giddy laugh turns to a groan.
The eight rations that I managed to cram into my pack isn’t going to last me for very long. If I want to stock up enough food to last me for a while so I don’t have to take the chance of continuing my sneaking missions, I’m going to have to carry more at a time. I stretch out my sore fingers and press on my aching nails before snatching up the closest ration and opening it for my first meal of the day. Before I go for my next load I need to get some calories into me. I have a feeling I’m going to need all the strength I can manage to stock up on enough food. As I eat my spaghetti and meatballs, I recalculate the small list that I had created for myself and realize that it’s going to take days if not a week or more to get everything that I want to set up my new home.
Eleven days. It takes me eleven days to scavenge and steal all the supplies I need to set up what I’m now calling my nest. I have three hundred ration packs so that will last me at least a month before I need to go for more. I have two mattresses that I’ve stacked one on top of the other to create a cozy bed and multiple blankets that I snuggle into every night as well as three pillows that are so flat that stacked one on top of each other they make up a regular pillow.
I managed to find pallets that had the military’s uniforms and found the smallest size that they come in, so I’ve now created a wardrobe consisting of hacked off pant legs and shirts that I have to roll the cuffs of the sleeves up five times to fit my small frame.
I covered the windows facing the platform with blankets to give myself a better sense of privacy in the car that I’ve made my home in. I left the ones on the other side uncovered because they face the rock wall of the tunnel. I know this train will never be used again because the only destination on the other end of the track is now a radioactive crater so I went to work tearing the car apart. I watched video tutorials from AIRIA’s data banks to show me the proper way to apply leverage with a pry bar to a wrench to get the bolts started and then it was quick work to unscrew them from the floor of the car. Moving them out of the way out onto the platform was much harder. My final project was to locate a shower head fixture and hose. Once again, watching a video tutorial I taught myself how to create a showering system in the men’s restroom.
At first, I worried constantly that someone would notice all the things that I had taken, but after taking another look at the inventory lists and comparing it to what I had stolen, I realized that I had barely scratched the surface of the supplies the military had stocked the bunker with. It was exhausting work and every night I would fall asleep with aching muscles but also content in the knowledge that I was finally in control of my life. No one was telling me what to do or where to go or what I could or couldn’t do or even worse, ignoring me like I didn’t exist. I could do anything I wanted down here. The only thing I truly feared was someone noticing that I was gone from the levels, finding me and forcing me back into that hellish life.
Once my projects were all completed and I had my nest just the way I wanted it, I found myself itching for another project. I considered spending my time watching the movies and TV shows that AIRIA has in her data banks but just the thought of watching what life used to be made my chest hurt with the knowledge that it was all gone and it would never be the same again. Looking for something to occupy my time I notice my math workbook sitting underneath a stack of uniforms and pull it out. I start flipping through it and before I realize what I was doing, I had found a pencil and started answering the questions. Unit after unit are completed until I come to the last page and close the book. It felt good to stretch my brain and I looked around for something else to do. I don’t know how many years we’re going to be stuck down here but I know I’m going to need knowledge to survive once the doors open, so I set up a schedule of grade-appropriate work in all the core subjects with AIRIA as my teacher.
I lose myself in learning and start moving quickly through the grade levels. With nothing else to occupy my time, there is nothing to do but learn. The only extracurricular subject I had any interest in was computer programming. I felt like I needed to honor my adopted parents by continuing to learn the subject they were most passionate about. I know AIRIA doesn’t have feelings but she seems like an eager teacher to me, always willing to help me move my knowledge and learning forward.
When I had gone as far as I could with the limitations of my tablet, she sent me on another ghost mi
ssion to find a computer that would allow me to progress in learning programming. The model in storage she recommended would have been awesome but there was no way I could carry the heavy desktop monitor and tower without using some kind of help. That was just asking to get caught and I wasn’t willing to chance it, so I had to settle for a less powerful laptop. My mind was a sponge, letting me learn everything I needed to know about code, backdoors, and viruses. She helped me learn by creating programs for me to fiddle with and simulations to learn how to combat viruses in codes and how to create them. She taught me everything I needed to know but would not allow me any access to her own programming code because of my yellow clearance level. Smart computer!
Four Years Ago … Joslin
I’m making my way through my final calculus unit when AIRIA interrupts me.
“Joslin Frost, General Mallor has inquired about your current location.”
My whole body freezes and my pencil drops from my nerveless fingers to the floor and rolls away. Three years, it’s been three years since I left the levels and not one person has given me or my location a second thought. Why now? What’s happened that triggered his memory of me? I have to clear the fear and uncertainty from my throat to get my voice to work.
“AIRIA? Can you replay the conversation to me?”
“Joslin Frost, replaying audio.”
“Sir! AIRIA has reported a development in the West bunker. Daniel Ross is no longer registering life signs. AIRIA has listed him as deceased and increased his daughter, Skylar’s clearance to green.”
There’s a pause in the audio long enough that I’m getting ready to ask AIRIA a question when the voice of the General comes through the speakers.
“That’s…unfortunate. It also complicates things. I had counted on Daniel being there to set up what we will need on our arrival. The last time I saw Skylar she was just a small child. I am uncertain how she will react when we arrive. It’s a complication and I don’t like complications.”
“Sir, we could lower her clearance back to yellow so she wouldn’t have access to AIRIA’s higher functions. It would also keep her and the boy contained to the Ross’ quarters.”
“No, that would tip our hand. I think it’s best if Miss Ross remains in the dark about our presence in her life. Leave her access at green but modify it so she has no access to the bunker’s military defenses, more sensitive equipment, and the power plant level. We wouldn’t want her to get curious and stumble onto anything we will need as she ages. Most importantly, we will need to step up on monitoring her.”
“Sir? You want me to watch her feeds continuously? A thirteen-year-old girl?”
If I wasn’t so worried, I would laugh at the incredulous tone the soldier asked that in. I’m also extremely curious about what this west bunker is and about the girl, who is the same age as me.
“Yes, Johnson. I’m aware that it will be tedious but none of us has any experience with the nature of young…girls? AIRIA, what is the current location of Captain Cote? I believe I assigned her to mentor the young female that arrived with my son. Her name is…Jackeline…Jossie…JOSLIN! Joslin…last name unknown.”
I start cursing. There it is! Some girl in another bunker rang the bell in the General’s memory and I’m about to pay for it!
“General Mallor, Captain Cote is listed as deceased.”
“What? When and how did that happen?”
“General Mallor, Captain Cote’s death was recorded fourteen days after her arrival in the bunker. Cause of death is listed as suicide by overdose.”
“That was over three years ago! Who’s been taking care of the girl all this time and why wasn’t I notified? Someone get me Donnelly!”
“General Mallor, Joslin - last name – Frost, has been monitored by me for the last three years. No personnel status update was requested for her.”
“What do you mean, you’ve been monitoring her?”
“General Mallor, I have been tutoring Joslin Frost and advising her on all of her needs.”
“How is that even possible? She doesn’t even have the clearance to speak with you!”
“General Mallor, you assigned Joslin Frost a yellow clearance level on the day she arrived at the bunker. It was never rescinded.”
I drop my head into my hands and try to hold back my tears. Not only will I lose my nest, he’s going to take my clearance. After three years of having AIRIA as my only contact with the world, the loss of her will be like a hole in my body.
“Are you trying to tell me that there’s been an unsupervised ten-year-old girl running around my bunker with a yellow clearance level for the past three years? Where exactly is Joslin Frost right now and what is she doing?”
“General Mallor, Joslin Frost has been under my supervision for the past three years and her current age is thirteen. Her current location is car D on the train level. She is currently working on a calculus equation.”
“A what? Calculus? How can a thirteen-year-old girl understand that level of math?”
“General Mallor, Joslin Frost is nearing completion of her final grade of high school math. She has already completed the three other core subjects as well as chemistry, physics, and biology.”
I chew on my lip in nervousness, waiting for his response but it’s not aimed at AIRIA.
“Johnson, you have overwatch. I’m heading down into the levels to have a little chat with Miss Frost.”
“Joslin Frost, end of audio replay.”
I almost choke in fright at that. I push to my feet and look around frantically. I want to run and hide but I know that there’s nowhere for me to go that AIRIA won’t be able to find and direct him too. There’s nothing I can do and I certainly don’t want him to know that I just spied on him and know he’s coming so I drop to the floor and fish my pencil out from under the seat. He could be here any minute so I should pretend I’m still working on my math. I lean over the paper that I was doing my equations on with my pencil poised but my hand is shaking so bad that I know it’ll be a dead giveaway so I set my pencil down and tuck my hands under my thighs but stay leaned over like I’m still working on it. The equation I was working on blurs in front of my eyes and I feel like my skin is crawling with anticipation. I just want him to show up already and get this over with. There’s nothing I can do to stop it from happening anyways.
The sound of the doors to the car automatically opening is almost a relief but the knot in my stomach is painful as I slowly lean back and turn my head to face him while trying to keep a tight hold on my emotions. I need to keep my reactions even because I have a feeling that this man will pounce on any sign of weakness. I keep my expression blank when my eyes meet his.
“Joslin Frost.”
I’m proud that my voice is level when I respond. “General Mallor.”
He steps into the car and my home and starts looking around with interest.
“It seems that I neglected to rescind your yellow clearance level when I sent you with Captain Cote.”
I keep my mouth shut. Thanks to the audio replay from AIRIA, I know what he knows so I also know he’s now fishing for a reaction from me so I wait him out.
“I was surprised to learn that you’ve been living in this train for the past three years. What made you choose this location and why didn’t you inform me?”
The knot in my stomach starts to heat up with anger and I can’t help but respond this time.
“I chose this place because it was the only area that wasn’t crawling with unstable people! I was a ten-year-old girl afraid for my life and I didn’t tell you because frankly, I didn’t think you would care.”
He raises an eyebrow at that and stands in front of me with his hands behind his back.
“Surely you exaggerate. There was a transition period for my personnel as they dealt with their new situation but you were never in any danger.”
I shake my head at him in disbelief. “Really? How would you know? You weren’t there when women were being beaten and raped or
simply killing themselves. It was no place for a child!”
His face goes hard. “Be that as it may, you should have reported to me to let me know what your situation was.”
I snort a humorous sarcastic laugh. “I did you a favor! I disappeared so that you wouldn’t have to deal with me. We both know I wasn’t supposed to be here and you had no desire to take care of me.”
He nods in agreement, turns away from me and starts scanning the items I have on a makeshift table. I’ve used the cardboard cases of the MRE’s to create bowls that are filled almost to the brim with the condiments, candy, gum, and matches that come in each ration pack. I’ve amassed quite the collection in the last three years but I couldn’t bring myself to just throw them away. He uses a finger to stir each box’s contents and then turns back to me.
“I’m not happy that you’ve spent the last three years stealing from me and destroying my property.” He waves his hand at the changes I’ve made to alter the train car. “But, I was pleasantly surprised to learn from AIRIA that you chose to spend the rest of your time getting an education.” I stay silent and wait. I know he’s building up to something and it will most likely be my punishment.
Endless Winter Box Set: Books 1 - 4 Page 45