I shrug right back. “I’m with you on that one. I don’t even think there was makeup in the bunker’s inventories. I guess that stuff just doesn’t matter much anymore, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could get back to a time when maybe it did?”
Skylar looks down at the compact in her hand and then meets my eyes. “I think we will. No, I believe we will. It’ll take time but we will get to a point when living isn’t just about going from meal to meal. I believe we’re going to make that happen.”
I nod in agreement. “I think so too but there’s a lot of hard work to do between now and then so we should probably wrap this up and get back to the guys.”
She laughs and says in a fake whiny voice, “Aw, do we have to?”
I laugh along with her but then turn serious. “Skylar, I just wanted to tell you how much this means to me. I mean, including me in this little shopping spree. I know there’s probably some things we should talk about and some things you’re not really happy about that I’ve done.”
She holds up a hand to stop me from saying anything else.
“Joslin, as far as you watching me and Ben all these years, I get that the General made you do that. And even though it rates pretty high on the creepy factor, I have to look at it in a positive light. If you had never watched us and gotten to know us you might not have been willing to help us when we needed it the most - so I think we should just leave that in the past where it belongs and move forward. As for AIRIA, that one still hurts pretty bad but I also understand why you did it. The idea of all those soldiers having control of her makes me shudder. And if I’m honest with myself, I knew at some point I would have to let her go, so you taking that decision out of my hands may have made it easier.” She sighs and tilts her head toward me. “I think we’ve both been through some pretty crappy years. I get the feeling you’re a lot like me when it comes to control issues. We’re both going to have to learn to let go of things and take it day-by-day. So let’s just consider this day a win and keep on going.”
I feel tears pressing at the back of my eyes. I can’t believe how generous she’s being toward me. I know what she’s lost in AIRIA shutting down, so for her to let it go and develop a relationship with me is amazing. I bite my lip as I search for the words to tell her how sorry I am again but before I can say anything, we hear voices calling out from the hallway.
Skylar lets out a long sigh and looks at me sadly. “I guess that means shopping time is over.” She takes one more look around the store and shrugs her shoulders. “Oh well, there’s nothing saying we can’t come back!”
I let a smile spread across my face as I nod my head. “You’re right, we can come back if we want to. We can do whatever we want.”
Her smile matches mine when she turns her head toward the doors leading to the hallway and straightens her shoulders. “All right then. Let’s go face the music!”
As we walk toward the doors I have to suppress a giggle that wants to burst free. It’s crazy, I’m not a giggle kind of girl. I don’t even know if I’ve ever giggled in my life. When we get into the hallway and walk toward where we’ve left all of our bags I see Lance, Marsh, and Rex waiting for us. Lance looks up from the pile with an incredulous look on his face while Marsh is bent over double howling with laughter. Rex is just shaking his head with a huge smile across his face.
Lance sputters a few times before finally getting out, “Skylar you can’t be serious?”
She just drops the latest bags onto the pile, crosses her arms and lifts her nose in the air and states in a haughty tone, “Fetch a porter for my bags, boys!”
This just sends Marsh into even more convulsions of laughter while Lance pins Skylar with a stern look. I look between him and Skylar nervously wondering if he’s going to make us put some of it back but she just stares him down until his expression finally cracks into a smile. He throws his hands into the air.
“And I thought Belle and Sasha were high maintenance!” He gives Marsh a shove and points at the pile. “Come on you lunatic, start porting!”
Rex is smiling when he reaches down and scoops multiple handles of the bags with both hands. He turns and looks at Skylar and asks, “What is all this stuff?”
She keeps her nose in the air when she replies, “Presents! We’re having Christmas in… June?” She sends a quick questioning look my way and when I nod my head that yes, it is June, she turns back to him. “June. Santa is coming in June this year.”
His eyes sparkle with amusement, “Does that make you her elf, Joslin?”
Skylar throws her arm around my shoulders and grins. “Nope, we’re co-Santas! This was a joint effort in shopping mania.”
The warm glow I had been feeling expands even more at her words of inclusion and my smile widens even more. Lance just laughs and points to the pile. “All right, let’s get this stuff loaded into the truck. We’re all done with the building supplies so let’s get back to camp. I don’t know about you guys but I’m ready for lunch!”
It takes us multiple trips to get it all loaded with lots of laughter and teasing from the guys. I’m riding on a happy high when we pull up in front of the main building back at camp. I jump down from the truck, excited to unpack it all and hand out some of the stuff we got to everyone when Ethan and Jackson come out of the building to lend a hand. I’m in such a great mood that I forget for a second what Jackson is going through and bounce over to him.
“Jacks! Wait till you see what I got for you!”
He pins me with a harsh look of disdain. “I don’t want anything from you!” He spits out viciously, causing all the joy I had been feeling to drain out of my body. I literally feel my whole body sag in misery at his ugly words and tone. He shoves past me knocking into my shoulder causing me to stumble to the side. His brutal treatment of me tells me he’s never going to forgive me.
Chapter Six … Skylar
It takes me a second to get over the shock of what Jackson has just said and done to Joslin. Rage fills me and any thoughts of being patient with what he’s going through fly away as I stomp up to him and get right into his face.
“You’re done here! Get your gear and get into the truck. I’m taking you back to town where you can find some of your father’s soldiers to live with because clearly, you don’t want to be here with us!”
The complete shock and panic on his face at my words has my temper cooling somewhat but not enough to back down. Ethan rushes over and says my name in warning.
“Skylar, don’t -.” But I cut him off abruptly.
“No! No, Ethan.”
I turn back to Jackson.
“Jackson, I know what you’re going through but we are not your enemies! You have to stop treating us like we are.”
His expression changes to a snarl. “You have no idea what I’m going through!”
I take a step back at the fury in his tone and shake my head and then hold my hands up to him.
“Do you see? Do you see what’s on my hands?” At his confused expression I look down at my hands. “They’re covered in my mother’s blood. I don’t even have to imagine it. I can see the blood covering my hands from where I tried to hold it in her body. I can see the blood like it just happened. When I failed to save her.”
I don’t look back at him, I just stare at my hands lost in the memories that come rushing back and whisper, “My dad’s naked body frozen to the ground. These hands weren’t strong enough to pull him up. He was frozen solid to the ground so all I could do was go dig up rocks with these hands and carry them back to cover him up.”
Jackson sucks back a tortured gasp that jars me out of the memory and I lift my eyes to his. All my anger is gone now. “Every single person here knows what you’re going through, Jackson. Because every single person here has had an unimaginable loss. We’ve all lost people we love.”
The fury has left his eyes to be replaced by tears that well up and start to pour down his face.
“I know. I know everybody’s lost people. But how do I go
on knowing what I come from?” His voice cracks in anguish. “I’m the son of a monster!”
Joslin pushes past me. “No! You’re not! You don’t come from him. You’re not his son!” She reaches out and takes his hands. “Think about it, Jackson. Are you anything like him? Do you want to control all of us or turn us all into slaves? Do you want to be cruel?”
When he gives his head a jerky shake, she goes on. “You’re not his son! Never once has he treated you like a son, right? Even before the bombs dropped, you would tell me about how awful he was. How he never showed you love or affection. He wasn’t a father, he just donated some DNA. No, you come from your mother. You are your mother’s son. No one else’s.”
His whole body shudders with the pain he’s feeling and it’s clear in his voice when he asks her, “Why didn’t you tell me? How could you keep what he did from me for so long?”
She shakes her head sadly. “Jackson, we were just kids! What could you have done if I had told you? Things in the bunker were already tense, if I had told you, you would have raged at your dad but it wouldn’t have changed anything except maybe put us both in danger. Think about what he might have done to us knowing we had information that could threaten his control over everyone? He might have killed us to keep it a secret! I’m sorry but I couldn’t take that chance while we were trapped inside with him. Please, say you understand that?”
His head droops in defeat. “I’m so sorry, Jos. Sorry for everything.” They just stand there lost in misery until Ethan steps over to them and puts a hand on both of their backs.
“I think you two should head over somewhere more private and have a conversation. There’s a lot you probably need to talk through. Jackson, just know that we all want you here with us and none of us hold you accountable for your father’s actions.”
Jackson looks past Ethan and meets my gaze with apology filled eyes so I give a nod to him that I agree with Ethan’s words. Rex steps beside me and takes my hand as we watch them walk over to the swings. Once they’re settled there, Ethan pins me with an unhappy look.
“Skylar, that was pretty harsh. We all agreed to give Jackson time to work through his issues!”
I shrug one shoulder. “Maybe, but take it from someone who knows from personal experience. Sometimes you have to be broken before you can start to heal.”
With a frown, he glances over at Jackson and Joslin speaking softly together on the swings and turns back to me with a nod. “You might be right. He seems to be opening up at least. But I want to talk to you about what you said to him, about what happened with your parents. Everything you’ve described are classic symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. That’s not something to take lightly.”
I give him a humorless half laugh. “Trust me, I’m aware of that. AIRIA diagnosed me years ago. I used to have horrible nightmares where I’d wake up screaming and random emotional outbursts. She might have been a computer but one of her main directives was my health so she had me talking about it with her on a regular basis for a long time. Those memories will always be with me but I’ve learned how to cope with them so they don’t control me like they used to. I appreciate you wanting to help me, Ethan but I’m in a good place right now.”
He opens his mouth to maybe dispute that based on his expression but Lance steps in and intervenes.
“My husband, always trying to save everyone! Come on, Ethan, Skylar knows we’re here for her if she needs to talk about it but if she says she’s good then leave her be.” Ethan looks from me to Lance and then back again with a sigh.
“All right. Skylar, I trust you’ll come to me if any of your symptoms start flaring up?”
I nod reassuringly. “Of course I will.”
I close my eyes briefly and let the sad memories slide away before opening them and forcing a smile onto my face. I point my thumb over my shoulder at the truck behind me. “Now, I have many, many, many presents in that truck that won’t unload themselves!”
Rex gives my hand a squeeze. “All right, back to elf mode! Where do you want it all?”
The smile he gives me makes my cheeks heat up and I’m lost in his eyes for a moment as the last of my sadness changes to a stomach full of butterflies. We haven’t had any real time together since the General and his troops showed up but now that things have stabilized here, I’m hoping Rex and I can explore the feelings that had started to develop between us. His smile grows wider when I don’t answer him right away and I swear he’s reading my mind when he steps closer to me and starts leaning in like he’s going to kiss me.
The moment comes to a screeching halt when Lance clears his throat loudly. “Yeah, we also need to start building those growing beds in the atrium so we should get going on unloading.”
My pink cheeks go full red knowing that he and Ethan are staring at us so I take a step back from Rex and look away in embarrassment.
“Umm, yeah, ok, we should get to work.” I stutter as I duck around Rex and head to the back of the truck. The butterflies in my stomach settle a little with the distance from him but don’t completely go away. I definitely need to find some free time to spend with that guy, preferably without an audience!
I keep my eyes down as we unload bag after bag from the back of the truck and carry them into the atrium building and leave them in the dining area on the long table. Belle and Sasha, their hands coated in flour, come in from the kitchen and move toward the bags with curiosity.
I point a stern finger at them. “Hey, no peeking! It’s a surprise and nobody gets to see what we brought until everybody’s in here.”
Sasha takes another step closer to the table with the most animated expression I’ve seen on her face since we were getting ready for our party before the General came. I wave her away with a laugh.
“Seriously, you have to wait for everybody else.”
She nods her head eagerly and backs away slowly before returning to the kitchen with her mom. I can’t help but smile, this is going to be so much fun. I’m so excited to see how happy some of these gifts will make her. Sasha and I have a weird relationship where we seem to constantly end up at odds with each other. I’m hoping that will change and we can just move into being friends. When the final bag has been brought in, they take up two of the long cafeteria-style tables, I start to try and sort out the mess by peeking into bags and sorting them into different piles. It’s difficult because we’ve stuffed so many things into each bag that the only way I’m going to be able to really sort it all is if I start emptying them.
I glance over toward the door when I hear movement in the hallway and see Rex and then Marsh go by, carrying the lumber they had harvested from the resort for the growing beds in the atrium. I stand at the table watching Ethan and Lance carrying another load past the doorway, quickly followed by Jackson. Joslin is right behind him but turns into the dining room and looks at the two tables full of bags. Her eyes are huge as she takes it all in. When she looks up at me, I’m happy to see the sadness that’s been haunting them is now mostly gone.
“What are we going to do with all this stuff?”
My smile grows bigger. “We’re going to empty all the bags and sort it out for the others to pick out what they want. It’s going to be like Christmas without the wrapping paper!”
She nods her head in agreement and starts to smile as well. “All right, sounds like a plan but… We get first dibs, right?”
I let a laugh peal out of me. “Yep, we got dibs. There’s so much here that I don’t think that’s going to be an issue though. Come on, start emptying bags, this is going to take a while.”
We each take a table and start dumping the bags out and refolding clothes when necessary. Once they are all emptied, I work down the table sorting clothing from home décor and toys. As much fun as it’s going to be to see Belle and Sasha’s reaction to some of this stuff, I’m more excited to be able to give Ben and Matty some of the fun things we brought back for them. I move all of the stuff that we got for the boys to a separate tabl
e to keep it from getting mixed up with all the more adult gear we brought back. I want them to have a table all to themselves so they can see just how many presents we got for them.
By the time we’ve emptied and sorted everything out onto the tables, Joslin and I have pared down what we want for ourselves to four bags each. It’s mainly new clothing and things to decorate our rooms with as well as a couple of paperback novels. It leaves a huge amount for the others to choose from and I’m ready to start playing Santa. The next time Rex walks by the doorway I call out to him.
“Can you round up the little boys and everyone else and come on in here, please.”
He does a quick scan of the two tables piled high with goods and shakes his head with a grin. “Ready to get Christmas morning started?”
When I nod happily he says, “I’m on it!” and then disappears down the hallway. I give him a few minutes to round everybody up and then stick my head into the kitchen where the most amazing smell of freshly baked bread is wafting out.
“Can you ladies join us in the other room please?” Sasha practically throws the tray in her hands down onto the counter in excitement but Belle reaches out and snags her arm with a laugh.
“Sasha, at least wash your hands first! You’re covered in flour and dough.”
She makes a growling her throat in exasperation but rushes over to the sink where there’s a bucket of water and quickly starts cleaning up. I duck back out to the dining area and join Joslin at the head of one of the tables just as the guys start to file in. I’m practically vibrating with excitement and I can’t help but bounce on my toes in happiness when Belle and Sasha come into the room and Sasha squeals in girly delight. This is exactly the kind of day I was hoping for and I can’t wait to have more of them in the future.
Chapter Seven … Rex
I study Skylar as everyone files into the room. She has a glow about her that I’ve never seen before. I think it’s happiness. She’s happy and she’s never been more beautiful because of it. I can’t wait to spend some time with her one-on-one. Things have been so up-and-down since we met that every time we start exploring our feelings for each other we’ve had to put them on hold to deal with a crisis. I’m hoping that all the crises are behind us and now we’ll be able to actually develop a relationship that’s more than just mutual survival. Sasha’s girly squeal of glee has me looking away from Skylar for a minute to see my adopted sister staring at the piled up goods with an expression of awe on her face. It’s nice to see Sasha happy again. Things have been rough for her ever since we were forced to move into the hotel. Right now she looks more like the girl I spent the last seven years with.
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