“There’s nothing wrong with you, Gregas. When I came out of Lottery as Level 1, you must have felt that your Lottery result was bound to be a disappointment in comparison. You can forget about that worry now. You will be rated Level 1 too.”
He shook his head fiercely. “No one can predict Lottery results. The decision process is too complicated.”
“I can’t predict the exact details of your Lottery result, but I know it will be Level 1. You and I are special cases, Gregas. We have different abilities, but they’re both highly valued by our Hive. I didn’t find out about mine until it was awakened by the Lottery testing process. Yours was awakened early by that life-threatening encounter with the man in the air vents. You can think of it as the ability to judge someone’s central driving motivation at a particular instant in time.”
Gregas stared at me. “This is real,” he muttered. “I’ll be Level 1, but … How do I stop these weird moments from happening to me?”
“I’m afraid it’s impossible for you to control your ability. You’ll keep having these random experiences, especially when people feel strongly about something. I understand this is a shock to you, and you may be wishing you were ordinary. I felt just the same way when I learned about my ability.”
“You said that you had a different ability to mine,” said Gregas. “What does yours do?”
“We have different but related abilities. Mine is similar to yours but more intense and far longer-lasting.”
Gregas winced. “It’s bad enough feeling that way for a moment. If you have stronger feelings that last for … Was that why you were screaming in the lift?”
“Yes, but I promise you’ll never have that sort of experience,” I said hastily. “You are already having what are usually described as insights at their full intensity and duration. They won’t get better, but they won’t get worse either. You just need to learn to live with your insights the way they are now.”
“I’ve never heard about anyone having insights before,” said Gregas. “Why weren’t we told about this in school or during the activity sessions on Teen Level?”
“Because the Hive has chosen to keep our abilities secret. You mustn’t mention your insights to our parents or your friends. You can discuss them with people in my unit, because they all know about these things, but no one else can find out.”
I paused to moisten my lips. “You have a decision to make, Gregas. I’ve given you the basic information you need about your ability, and warned you that it must be kept secret. When I came out of Lottery, I was told the full truth about how our Hive uses our abilities and why it chooses to keep them secret. You can either accept what I’ve told you, and wait until you go through Lottery to learn the rest, or ask me to explain the full truth to you tomorrow.”
“You’re letting me decide this?”
I nodded. “This is your life. This is your choice. I need to give you a warning though. You said that your insights had given you an entirely different view of people. If I tell you the full truth tomorrow, then it will give you an entirely different view of both yourself and the Hive. That will be deeply disturbing. Once you know those things, your life will never be the same again, so you need to consider whether you’re ready to face that now or would be better waiting until Lottery.”
I sighed. “I’d like you to think very carefully before making your decision.”
Chapter Forty-six
For the last few days, my thoughts had been haunted by images of two telepaths locked in a mental battle to the death. That night, those images invaded my dreams, turning them into a vivid nightmare where I was standing at one side of a vast, featureless room, while Keith was at the other.
Keith and I were locked in mental combat. Between us, our two Strike teams were locked in matching physical combat, each trying to kill the other telepath and save their own.
In my dream, I defeated Keith, but it wasn’t a victory. The result matched the actual events from long ago. I lay broken and mindless, surrounded by the dead bodies of most of my Strike team, while a few hideously wounded survivors still clung to life.
I woke from that horror, hearing the sound of my own screams, and found Lucas holding me close against him. “Were you dreaming about being attacked by Tobias’s echo?” he asked anxiously.
“Yes,” I lied, because lying was far simpler than telling the truth.
Eventually, I fell asleep again, but I woke the next morning to find a message on my dataview from Gregas. I’d realized that the limited amount I’d told him didn’t explain everything, and he’d soon be asking a host of questions about the insights he’d had after the emergency run, the details of my ability, and precisely what my unit did.
I’d chosen to admit there were more things that I hadn’t told Gregas, but warn him that the full truth would be deeply disturbing. I’d hoped that would make him decide to wait until Lottery before learning any more. I should have known that tactic would never work. Gregas had never had any sense. He wanted to know the full truth, and he wanted to know it today.
I spent a while consulting with Lucas and Buzz about the best way for me to break the news to Gregas, then Lucas and I went to meet him in the park. As we left our apartment, I felt exactly the same emotions as when I went into Lottery, wanting to turn around, run away, and find somewhere to hide.
“Why couldn’t my brother wait until Lottery to learn the full truth?” I asked in despair.
Lucas made a sympathetic noise. “Gregas has a strong sense of curiosity. He was bound to be especially curious about something so important to him. You should understand that, because you’ve got a strong sense of curiosity too. If you were in Gregas’s position, I think you’d be making the same decision.”
I groaned. Lucas was right. When I’d come out of Lottery as a telepath, I’d been curious about a host of things, particularly why I couldn’t meet other telepaths. When Morton told me the answer to that question, I’d regretted learning it, but now …
I remembered Morton saying that curiosity was a dangerous trait in a telepath, and it was true that some knowledge gave me nightmares, but ignorance could have fatal consequences. If I hadn’t known the reason telepaths mustn’t meet, I might have tried to arrange a face-to-face confrontation with Keith that ended in utter disaster for the two of us, our Strike teams, and our Hive.
It was safer for me to know the truth about my situation. Perhaps it was safer for Gregas to know the truth about his situation too. Not just for him, but for me as well.
“This is like when you told me about duty children,” I said aloud.
Lucas gave me a puzzled look. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“You said it was better for someone to explain duty children to me properly before I stumbled across the information by accident. You wanted to tell Gregas the full truth about telepaths as soon as we found out he was a borderline telepath. You were right. It’s better for us to explain it properly to him. If we don’t, then he’ll either work it out for himself or stumble across the information in a far worse way.”
I paused. “I just hope Buzz’s plan works. I can’t let either my parents or Gregas go home while Keith is attacking us. My parents are already unhappy here. If Gregas starts hating himself and me, then …”
“I have faith in Buzz,” said Lucas. “She’s inventive, determined, and completely unscrupulous.”
We carried on to the park doors in silence. Once we were inside, and walking towards the picnic tables, I saw Gregas was already standing there waiting for us. Of course he was already there waiting for us. If Gregas found an unguarded lift shaft, he’d be eagerly queueing up to jump down it.
When we reached Gregas, I had a last moment of cowardice. “Are you absolutely sure you want to know the full truth?” I asked.
Gregas nodded. “What you told me yesterday did help, but I’ve still got a lot of questions. I need to make sense of things that have happened in the past, and work out what this means for my future. I can’t do t
hat unless I know everything.”
“All right,” I said wearily.
“So, what are we waiting for?” he looked expectantly at me.
I turned to point across the park. “We’re waiting for that.”
Gregas looked where I was pointing and gasped. “What’s a nosy doing in your unit?”
“It’s come here to talk to you,” I said. “Weren’t you listening when I said this explanation would be deeply disturbing?”
Gregas was looking uncertain as he watched the ominous grey-robed figure walking towards us. “You didn’t mention anything about nosies. Why do we need to drag a nosy into this?”
“When you know the truth you’ll understand,” I said. “If you don’t want to meet the nosy, then I can send it away, and we’ll forget the whole thing until you go through Lottery.”
“No.” Gregas straightened up defiantly. “I can do this.”
He stood, hands clenched into fists at his side, as the nosy walked up to him. It stood silently looking at him for nearly thirty seconds, with its purple eyes glinting from behind the inhumanly shaped whole-head mask. Finally, it spoke in an unnervingly distorted voice.
“You have asked for knowledge, Gregas. Do you understand that if you learn this knowledge it can never be unlearned?”
Gregas moistened his lips before speaking. “Yes.”
The nosy stood in silence for ten seconds. “Do you understand that the Hive would normally give you this knowledge after Lottery?”
“Yes.”
There was another pause of ten seconds. “Do you understand that the Hive knows best in this matter?”
“Yes. No.” Gregas made a whimpering sound. “I suppose the Hive knows best, but I want to know the truth anyway.”
Yet another long pause. “Those who wish to know the truth must see the face behind the mask I wear. Are you ready for that, Gregas?”
“No!” yelped Gregas. “I mean … Why do I have to see your face?”
“Because the truth is in my eyes, and I must unmask for you to see them properly,” said the nosy. “Do you wish me to unmask, Gregas?”
“Yes,” said Gregas, with the impatient tone that came from utter desperation. “Stop being so creepy and get on with it!”
The nosy lifted its hands and slowly unsealed the back of its mask. There was a last dramatic delay before it yanked off the mask, tossing it aside in one swift gesture. Buzz’s dark face was revealed, and she gave Gregas one of her generously wide smiles, before shaking her head to send her flattened black hair into a glorious mass of wild curls. As a final touch, she shrugged off the grey robes to show the minimal, figure-hugging black dress that she’d worn at the Halloween party.
“Do you still think I’m creepy?” she asked.
Gregas stared at her, his mouth drooping open, then gulped and managed to speak. “Buzz? Is that really you?”
She peered down at herself before laughing at him. “This is really me.”
Gregas turned to look at the discarded mask lying on the grass. “So … What does this mean?”
“What it means is that nosies aren’t telepaths,” I said. “They’re just ordinary hasties, taking turns to dress up, look frightening, and deter potential criminals from even thinking of committing crimes. It’s all a gigantic bluff, but it works. It stops virtually everyone from stealing, damaging things, and most importantly from hurting others. It keeps the Hive a safe place where people can live without fear.”
“But …” Gregas moved to sit on one of the benches by the picnic tables, and let his head fall into his hands before speaking in a muffled voice. “You mean that I’ve spent my whole life terrified of nosies rummaging through my thoughts, but there aren’t actually any telepaths at all?”
“Lottery finds almost a thousand people a year with a small level of telepathic ability,” said Buzz. “People like you and me. We have occasional random glimpses into the core driving motivation of someone nearby. When you met that man in the air vents, you had an insight that he wanted to kill you. That insight quite probably saved your life.”
Gregas lifted his head. “That was telepathy?” he asked sharply. “You’re saying that we’re both telepaths?”
Buzz went to sit down opposite him. “We’re both borderline telepaths,” she said. “Our insights happen at random, only work at close quarters, and only last for a split second. You’ve seen that’s still enough to be incredibly useful. A malevolent person may be clever, charismatic, and fool even skilled experts with their brilliant lies, but our borderline telepathic insights show us their true nature. The Hive rates us Level 1 and values us highly.”
Gregas looked at me. “Is this really true, Amber? Am I a borderline telepath?”
“Yes.”
“And Buzz is a borderline telepath too?” he asked.
“Yes,” I repeated. “That’s why I asked her to come here. She can tell you everything you need to know about yourself.”
“You told me that we had different abilities,” said Gregas. “You said that yours was similar but more intense and far longer-lasting.”
I saw his eyes widen. “If I am a borderline telepath, then what are you, Amber?”
I couldn’t make myself say the words. I gave Buzz a despairing look, and she spoke for me.
“There are true telepaths in this Hive, Gregas. People who can genuinely read minds and have full control of their abilities. They are vanishingly rare and indescribably precious though. Our Hive currently only has five true telepaths. We depend on them to deal with all the greatest threats to our citizens, and to protect the vital life support systems that keep us all alive.”
She paused. “Your sister is one of these five true telepaths. She was only discovered in the last Lottery, but has already saved a massive number of lives.”
Gregas stared wordlessly at me before suddenly frowning.
“Don’t think it,” said Buzz sternly. “Don’t do it. Don’t envy Amber for even a single second. Remember how you heard her screaming when she returned from her last emergency run, and thank the Hive that you have been spared seeing the things she sees and feeling the things she feels.”
Gregas gave Buzz an appalled look. “You got an insight into my mind!”
“Yes. You’ll discover it’s rare to get an insight into the mind of another borderline telepath, but it sometimes happens, while you’ll never get an insight into Amber’s mind at all.”
I saw Gregas’s face change as he thought of the obvious. “But Amber can read my mind whenever she wants, can’t she?” He gave me a hurt look. “Have you been reading my mind all the time since Lottery? Have you been reading our parents’ minds too?”
“I’ve never read our parents’ minds at all,” I said. “I’ve only read your mind once, and that was because I was forced into doing it.”
He glared at me. “How were you forced into reading my mind, and what did you see nosing around in there?”
I groaned. “You were arrested by another telepath’s Strike team, Gregas. You’d had an encounter with someone dangerous and wouldn’t tell anyone what had happened to you. A telepath had to read your mind, and I thought it was better if I did it than one of the other four. That way, I could do everything possible to help and protect you.”
Lucas had been sitting on a bench watching us, and now finally joined the conversation. “We arranged for you and Wesley to be brought to our unit. Amber hoped that she’d see all she needed in Wesley’s mind, but the two of you had split up when the man in the air vents was chasing you. Amber had to read your mind, but we went to great lengths to make sure that you were only thinking about those few moments in the air vents when she did it. Amber didn’t see anything else at all. Nothing personal. Nothing embarrassing.”
“Oh. Right.” Gregas hesitated. “What about you, Lucas? Has Amber ever read your mind?”
“It’s Amber’s job to hunt people who pose a lethal threat to our Hive,” said Lucas. “She does that by reading their minds and guiding
her Strike team to chase them down. In the final moments of the chase, she will change from reading her target’s mind to reading the minds of her Strike team members. That’s a protective measure that means she can get them immediate help when they’re injured or in other trouble.”
He smiled. “Amber doesn’t have to read the mind of her Tactical Commander as part of her work, but I’ve encouraged her to read my thoughts from the very first moment we met. It saves a vast amount of time explaining things.”
“You’ve been asking a telepath to read your mind to save time?” said Gregas incredulously.
“Originally, yes,” said Lucas. “Now that Amber and I are partners, I’ve got far more important reasons to want her reading my mind though. As a Tactical Commander, I’m imprinted with extensive knowledge of societal dynamics, but that doesn’t stop me being a social disaster myself sometimes.”
He paused. “When I’m crippled by personal anxiety, Amber can look past the words I’m saying and see what I really mean. She’s the only person I’ve ever met who could fully interact with me on a social level. Her telepathy is the reason our relationship works.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” said Gregas.
“Nothing about Lucas makes sense to me,” said Buzz, in a heartfelt voice. “As a borderline telepath psychologist, I’ve worked with a huge variety of people, and he’s the most confusing person I’ve ever met.”
She sighed. “It’s not just that Lucas is insufferably bright, startlingly perceptive, and unnervingly uncaring of his dignity or privacy. He can deal unflinchingly with terrifying threats to the Hive, but falls apart over simple things like complimenting Amber when she’s wearing a new dress. To make matters even worse, he either speaks in sentences crammed with far too many complex words or misses half the words out entirely. Lucas’s Tactical team spend a lot of time complaining about it behind his back.”
Lucas laughed. “They spend a lot of time complaining about it in front of me too.”
Buzz gave Gregas an especially devastating grin. “Learning the truth about yourself and your sister has been a great shock for you. I’m afraid there are some more things that I’ll need to explain today as well. You’ll have to make two decisions before you return to Teen Level, and you may want to think about them for a while.”
Borderline (Hive Mind Book 4) Page 45