A Friend Called Alfie

by Rachel Wells

  I had been spending more time with Snowball and my other Edgar Road friends, now we had a little less going on. Snowball and I were back to being a couple, and although at times I did feel guilty about Tiger, I knew, deep down, she would want me to be happy. And I was happy. Some days I woke up and wondered how I was so happy, because since losing Tiger, I’d been far more down than even I realised, but it was as if I now had a new lease of life.

  It was as if I was on life four of my nine lives. I had rediscovered a spring in my paws, which I never thought I would have again, and I felt invincible. I still thought of Tiger every day, and George and talked about her all the time, but it was finally time for me to move on, and as it was with Snowball, my first love, it made sense. If that made sense. But I wasn’t replacing Tiger. I hadn’t gone out looking for a new cat. I was back in love with someone I loved before.

  George pretty much accepted it with good grace. He and Hana were closer than ever now he had stopped going to the hospital, but he also visited Snowball and Harold a lot. He sometimes would have a teenage strop and tell me that I better not ask him to call Snowball mum, but as I explained that would never happen, he was silenced. And he did really like her, they were pretty good friends actually.

  So as we approached the end of the year, it was happy families, and love and laughter filled our lives once more. As did the fact we were helping people who might be lonely. What I loved about all our friends and family was that we all knew how much we had, so we were willing to make the lives of others better. And that is what life should be about. Sadly I know it’s not, but it should be. That’s how it would be if cats ruled the whole world.

  The streets were pretty empty as a convoy of adults, children, cats and a dog made their way down the street on Christmas Day to go to Franceska and Tomasz’s restaurant, so we only received the odd strange glance. Marcus had gone to pick up some of our new guests and Harold, as it was bitingly cold and too far for them to walk. Matt had also gone to pick up a couple of others as they couldn’t all fit into one car. The children chattered excitedly, no longer fighting over Pickles’ lead; that particular novelty had worn off a bit, and also they had all insisted on carrying one of their new toys with them. I couldn’t wait. Not only was I spending Christmas Day with my favourite humans, George, Snowball, Hana and Pickles, I was also going to see Dustbin and Ally. Not to mention my turkey dinner. I really couldn’t wait for that.

  The restaurant was warm, welcoming, with lights twinkling everywhere. Frankie greeted us all with hugs and kisses, Tomasz was cooking, and Sylvie and Claire went to help him. Jonathan organised the children, while Franceska poured drinks. Tommy and Aleksy played a game on a tablet; rare for the brothers to share a moment together. I knew Aleksy was missing Connie, but it was nice to see them hanging out, and I hoped it would bring them closer together.

  We cats skipped happily out the back to wish Dustbin a Happy Christmas.

  ‘Well I never, it’s Snowball.’ Dustbin raised his whiskers in greeting. ‘How lovely to see you after all this time.’

  ‘Remember, George, I told you that I ran away once and Dustbin literally saved my life,’ Snowball explained.

  ‘Yes, but that was down to Alfie, really,’ Dustbin said. We all spared a thought for our old memories.

  ‘Isn’t it great us all being here together?’ Dustbin said as he introduced Snowball and Hana to Ally.

  ‘Hana, come outside,’ George coaxed, she was still stood just inside the door.

  ‘But it’s so cold on my paws,’ Hana replied, tentatively lifting a paw out. ‘Brurrgh,’ she said, shivering. We all smiled at her fondly.

  I went back inside when I heard Matt and Marcus arrive, as did George and Hana. Snowball stayed outside to catch up with Dustbin and Ally.

  Harold proudly led our new friends, Les, Mary, Val, Jack and Alan in. I felt so proud and sad at the same time. I still couldn’t quite come to terms with the idea that people were alone at Christmas.

  ‘Thanks so much for having us,’ Mary said, she was quiet and a little nervous. Our families had decided that they would share the old people, although Claire said we shouldn’t say it like that, you know what Jonathan was like. However, this way us, Polly, Matt, Franceska, Tomasz, Sylvie and Marcus would make sure they were looked after and we’d somehow ended up with an extra person too, but it didn’t matter because we had enough love to go round. George and I enjoyed the extra fuss we got when we saw them also.

  I went to greet them all by rubbing their legs, but Alan looked a bit shocked. He wasn’t a cat person, and didn’t make a fuss of us, but George and I had decided that we’d soon convert him.

  ‘You are all so welcome,’ Franceska said, ‘now can I get you drinks. We’ve got Prosecco?’

  ‘Oh I’ve never had it,’ Val said. ‘But I wouldn’t say no.’ She grinned. She had never had children and her husband died a few years ago, so she’d been on her own ever since.

  ‘I think I might rather a sherry?’ Mary said, sounding a little uncertain. I guessed we were overwhelming all together, and they weren’t used to us yet.

  ‘Meow.’ I tried to reassure them all.

  ‘I’d love a beer,’ Jack said.

  ‘We’ve got sherry, beer, wine or Prosecco, you’re welcome to whatever you want,’ Jonathan said, as he took orders.

  ‘And can I take your coats?’ Franceska asked, as they finally shrugged off their coats. Matt and Harold led them to the table.

  ‘Take a seat,’ Harold said. He was definitely enjoying taking charge.

  ‘Is there anywhere we should sit?’ Val asked.

  ‘Wherever you like,’ Harold replied. I watched as they levered themselves into chairs, just as drinks were delivered to them, and the children came over.

  ‘We wish you a Merry Christmas,’ Summer and Martha sang. They were so angelic, I wondered what they’d been bribed with. Aleksy, and Tommy shook everyone’s hands like the polite older children they were growing into and Toby and Henry introduced them to Pickles. Although our guests were still a little bewildered, it wasn’t long before they started to relax. Our families had that effect on people.

  Sylvie sat down with them. She didn’t have a big pregnancy belly yet but she tired easily and had to take care of herself and the unborn baby. We didn’t know what we were having yet but we were all very excited about it. Especially Hana, who was looking forward to having new life in their house.

  ‘So, I hope you’re going to enjoy today.’ She smiled. ‘It’s a little crazy when we’re all together.’ That was an understatement.

  ‘I just never saw a family who went to a restaurant and took their pets,’ Alan said, nervously. ‘But I’m so happy to be here, I can’t remember the last time I had a home-cooked Christmas meal.’

  ‘Oh Alan.’ Sylvie who was emotional, hugged him which seemed to shock him even more. ‘I’m sorry,’ she added as she wiped tears from her face. ‘But my little girl, who is fifteen and not so little, is in Japan with my ex-husband. It’s my first ever Christmas without her and I miss her so much.’ Her tears streamed down her cheeks and Hana jumped to comfort her as did Marcus. ‘Oh it’s fine, she’ll be fine and so will I but I feel so strange without her. You know this morning, we would always wake up on Christmas morning and open her stocking. I wish she was here, that’s all. Sorry.’

  ‘Don’t apologise, it’s not easy, Sylvie,’ Harold said, squeezing her hand.

  ‘Thanks, Harold, right it’s Christmas, I will make sure we all have fun.’ She wiped her tears away and then went to see if she could help anyone.

  ‘I don’t know if I explained to all of you,’ Harold continued, taking his role of organiser of this wonderful thing very seriously. ‘But this is Tomasz and Franceska’s restaurant and they never open on Christmas, so it’s more like going to someone’s home. And the cats, well what can I say, they come everywhere with us more or less. I can highly recommend getting a cat if you’re lonely by the way, it worked wonders for me.’


  ‘Meow.’ Snowball appeared and jumped on Harold’s lap. ‘But at our age, what if anything happened to us and we left them?’ Val asked.

  ‘You can rehome an older cat,’ Harold explained. Goodness at this rate they would all have cats by the end of this meal. Although possibly not Alan.

  ‘Ahh, no, Pickles, stop, Pickles,’ Henry started shouting. We all looked over.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Polly asked, appearing from the kitchen.

  ‘Pickles just ate a Christmas cracker toy,’ Henry explained as he tried to fish it out of Pickles’ mouth. Polly grabbed him, and managed to get it.

  ‘How on earth did he get that?’ Matt asked, scratching his head. We hadn’t pulled any crackers yet. The children all shrugged innocently.

  ‘Let’s do Secret Santa now,’ Marcus suggested, cleverly changing the subject.

  All the adults exchanged gifts and the younger children all helped deliver them. Summer wanted to deliver a gift when it was Martha’s turn and although Martha was pretty laid-back, she got cross, and then Pickles barked.

  ‘Summer, you all take turns remember,’ Claire said.

  ‘She never likes to take turns,’ Toby explained. ‘But, Summer, as it’s Christmas, you can have my turn,’ he added.

  ‘Yay!’ Summer hugged Toby and I felt a pang. My children were growing up to be like us too.

  ‘Also, and I won’t have any arguing, you will all take home some leftover food please, it will help me out,’ Tomasz stated, as he prepared to go and put the finishing touches to dinner. I know he meant our new guests, as we all had plenty, but it had been decided before to cook extra food and send it home with our guests, by letting them think it was just leftovers and we needed them to help eat it up. That was Harold’s idea too. He said like him, a lot of them were too proud to admit being lonely, or to needing help. I had learnt, through Harold, to understand that. I was quite a proud cat myself, after all.

  Lunch was wonderful. We cats all ate together. Pickles was kept away, because we all know about his strict diet, and I did feel a bit sorry for him. However, he was given some turkey so it wasn’t all bad. As we ate, I enjoyed listening to the low hum of happy human conversation and laughter. Crackers were pulled, hats put on, drinks refreshed – Mary was a little tipsy, her cheeks flushed and she giggled like a young girl. The rest of our new friends were all relaxing, as they were made to feel part of the family. The children were behaving again, all getting along, under the watchful eyes of Aleksy and Tommy, and everyone was having a lovely time which was all that mattered. It was all that ever mattered to me, to see my friends and families happy.

  It was all any cat could ever want.

  Later, as the clearing up was underway, we all headed to see Dustbin for the last time before it was time to leave. I told George we should take Pickles with us, too, after all it was Christmas, and as the adults had begun to unwind – with the help of a few drinks – they weren’t quite so vigilant with him.

  ‘You can come too this time,’ I said, and he happily waddled after us.

  ‘Hello again, Pickles,’ Dustbin said, having met him when he broke out of home and we were on the recreation ground for Tiger’s anniversary. We introduced him to Ally.

  ‘You’re a funny looking dog, if you don’t mind me saying,’ Ally said as Pickles licked her.

  ‘He does that, he licks everything,’ George explained, and Pickles licked the window nearest to him to illustrate the point.

  ‘I don’t exactly mind you saying,’ Pickles replied. ‘But I am more cat than dog now, surely?’ he added. ‘After all I’ve been practising for such a long time.’

  ‘You’re probably about as much cat as you’re ever going to be,’ George said and I nudged him.

  ‘Yay! I knew I could do it,’ Pickles replied. ‘It was nice to see you but I’ve got to go inside now, Summer has dropped a lot of food and it needs clearing up.’ He waddled back to eat the scraps.

  ‘He’ll never really be a cat will he?’ George said.

  ‘It’s unfortunate but a lesson of life, there’s no dog or human as clever as a cat,’ I pointed out. ‘But don’t tell Pickles that.’

  ‘So another year drawing to a close,’ Dustbin said.

  ‘And it’s been eventful,’ I added. ‘What with Pickles’ arrival, then Harold, George and his job, and Snowball.’ I grinned over at her. I still felt a flutter in my heart every time I saw her and I could barely believe that she was back with us. Back in my life.

  ‘I was so upset that my family moved away, and that I had to be rehomed but it’s worked out pretty well,’ Snowball said.

  ‘Definitely for us,’ George said sweetly.

  ‘And I met Ally,’ Dustbin said. ‘Which made me see what all the fuss is about.’ He looked down and I knew this was an emotional time for him.

  ‘And I am still here,’ Hana announced, putting a paw out to join us and shivering. George nuzzled her.

  ‘We are so lucky to have each other aren’t we?’ he said.

  ‘We are and if we learnt anything this year it’s the importance of love, of helping people and of friendship. Being a friend is the best thing ever.’

  ‘I like friendship,’ Hana said. ‘I never had cat friends before I met you guys and I am so lucky to have you.’

  ‘For me to have met friends again, old and new, when I could have been so lonely is a miracle,’ Snowball added.

  ‘And I love all my friends, old and new, human and cat. It’s part of my job after all,’ George added seriously.

  ‘Well I for one am glad I met you all,’ Ally said. ‘I can’t believe how much friendship has changed my life for the better. Being a friend is the best thing ever!’

  ‘Let’s toast to friendship,’ George said, raising his paw. He’d got that from the humans who did it all the time with drinks. We all put our paws up, feeling the warmth despite the freezing cold.

  ‘And it’s easy to be a friend when you’ve got a friend called Alfie,’ Dustbin finished.

  Catstrology

  By Alfie the Doorstep Cat & Astrologer Jessica Adams

  Introduction

  Ever wondered how your cat’s zodiac sign affects its personality? What sign is the biggest hunter, or the most likely to be a lap cat? Which is the most fond of its food, or the most loyal? How does the zodiac sign affect their character? Can it also explain favourite foods, toys, pastimes and temperament?

  Humans are always reading their horoscopes. Claire, one of my owners, insists on reading her and her husband’s stars almost daily, so I thought it was about time that we did the same for cats. I, Alfie, believe that star signs are as relevant to cats as they are to people, so I wanted to put together this fun guide to your cat’s star sign. I am a Scorpio and as you will see when you get to read about Scorpios, it really does explain a lot about my personality. Therefore, I am a firm believer in Catstrology.

  Astrologer Jessica Adams, whose horoscopes appear everywhere from Vogue Japan, to Family Circle USA, to Cosmopolitan Australia, is helping me to delve into how the zodiac affects your favourite pets. In our brief guide, you can learn how your cat’s star sign can affect your cat’s personality. Personally, I believe it’s as fascinating as pilchards.

  Your cat’s star sign is either when they were born or when they were adopted by you – and as many of you know, adoption is like a rebirth for us cats. By reading our special guide, you can discover which star signs belong to the most independent of cats, the biggest divas, the silliest cats, and the cleverest.

  Welcome to Catstrology, or as I also like to call it, Alfiescopes!

  Aries

  The Aries cat is one competitive cat. Watch out as they can be prone to pick fights with other cats; the Aries is a natural fighter and will take on dogs, humans – probably even a giraffe. The Aries cat is also a biter. They are not necessarily aggressive but they do believe in the natural order. They like to be top cat! So, for example, don’t take an Aries to a cat show; they do not like coming second or, w
orse, third.

  The Aries cat is athletic and a very fast runner who can go from 0 to 100 with ease. These cats are competitive and will run races with greyhounds. Tickle an Aries cat’s tummy at your own peril as you’ll get attacked. They are quite the hunter, and will always be able to take care of themselves. I also wouldn’t recommend getting too close with mouse-on-a-string or fish-on-a-rod games because the Aries cat will thwack you a good one.

  Aries is a masculine sign so even the prettiest little female Aries kitten can seem blokey. Aries cats will often look good in a red collar. And whatever the coat, spiritually, the Aries cat is a ginger Tom.

  Perhaps the best thing about the Aries cat is that you always know your place with them. They come first, you don’t.

  Taurus

  One of the overriding characteristics of Taurus cats is that they definitely like their food. They are greedy pussy cats who put on layers for winter … all year around. They also have impeccable taste in food as they prefer human food to cat food, likely because human food costs more. They are salmon mad … Cheese crazy … And they can even say ‘Brie’ in meow-meow language. They save food for later as if it’s money in a bank account. They’re not great at sharing that food though, so don’t try to make them.

  The Taurus cat will also earn its keep – they are excellent ratters. They do tend to bring their trophies home through the cat flap in return for rewards, and, if this doesn’t work (we know that with humans, our trophies aren’t always appreciated), the Taurus cat will learn tricks to earn rewards as they believe in being paid for a job well done.

  Taurus cats like cat shows – if they win – but can be awfully miffed if they miss out on the money. Basically, the Taurus cat expects to be well rewarded. They can also be possessive about their belongings, so don’t take their toy catnip mouse or there will be consequences …