I blinked at him when his last words sunk in, too busy trying to process everything else he’d said.
“Abused as in…?”
“She has old scar tissue around her a—.”
“I got it,” I cut him off, running a hand through my hair. Someone had taken her ass without consent. Someone had hurt her repeatedly, and Heath knew.
So why the fuck did he leave her behind?
Unless it was him.
After she received her first birth control shot and a few others, the appointment was over.
Ethan could tell something was bothering me but I didn’t want to discuss it in front of Helena.
I didn’t want her to relive any of that shit, if she didn’t already but in the end, Helena could give us some answers we needed. We just had to approach her the right way.
First we had a family dinner to get out of the way.
That was great; just wish my mom wouldn’t be there.
We were halfway to Ethan’s truck when the most annoying fucking squeal erupted through the air, calling Helena’s name.
We all stopped and turned around to see one of my worst nightmares, a pack of dick dizzy girls rushing towards us with Molly in the lead.
“Hey, girl,” Molly greeted. “Dec. Ethan.” she finger waved.
I bit the side of my cheek to keep my smart ass remark in check.
These could be potential friends of Helena’s, though I doubted it. She and Katie already called one another best friends, and I didn’t think their common interest would align. Neither of them were anything like these girls, thank fuck.
“We’re having a get together tomorrow after work. Just us girls, food, no boys,” Molly directed at me and Ethan.
That partially surprised me.
It wasn’t a secret in town that three of us were an item anymore.
But people like Molly weren’t from here and tended to have a hard time believing one girl could be with two men in a serious relationship.
But the last thing I worried about was boys. Helena had two men at her beck and call, with magnificent big dicks, good looks, and was just as grotesquely sick as she was. If anything she would bring us a boy to play with in the red room.
She seemed to like when we fucked another man with a crowbar or some other solid item.
“So, will you come?” Molly asked, drawing me back to whatever she’d been saying.
Helena looked back at me and Ethan before replying, “Okay.”
Today was full of surprises, she usually would’ve said no.
The girls talked a bit more, and then we parted ways.
Back in the car, I still held my tongue, to the point I’m surprised I didn’t chew the fucker off.
Something was up with her, given Ethan’s silent glances in my direction, he had picked up on it too.
I would refrain from interrogating her until we were in the comfort of our own home for the night.
This dinner couldn’t be over soon enough.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Helena
I stared at my reflection in the silver mirror.
In the background, the moths I’d had Declan put in the bedroom, fluttered around their habitat.
The soft glow of a lit candle illuminated their white, fuzzy bodies.
Something about those softly beating wings was soothing. When Ethan and Declan were pulling long nights for their viewers, I could let them lull me to sleep.
“You look gorgeous, baby girl, just like you always do.” Ethan’s voice came from the doorway.
I turned, slowly, as I was just getting used to wearing heels.
My black, strapless evening gown turned with me.
They said these dinners were formal, hence the dress.
“Thank you,” I told him.
He walked in, dress shoes moving across the wood floor as he approached me.
“You nervous?”
I don’t…no,” I corrected myself.
We were working on my use of, “I don’t.” I really wasn’t nervous though. I’d met their family members, some multiple times and I was…fond of them all with the exception of one, but we’d yet to dine together.
“Good girl,” he grinned, pulling a long black box out of his pocket.
“Ethan,” I sighed.
“You know that right there is why we keep buying you things?”
He flipped the box open to reveal a shiny diamond necklace, one that matched the earrings Declan had given me a week ago.
“Because I sigh?”
“Yeah, you react. Plus we know you secretly love being spoiled.”
I ignored that, turning so he could put the piece of jewelry on me.
“Lift your hair for me.”
Reaching back, I lifted my barrel curled locks, careful not to disturb the small hump in the front of my hair.
Katie had done it for me a bit ago.
“Do you wanna tell me why you agreed to that get together?”
Where our eyes had been locked in the mirror, I diverted.
“Helena,” he intoned.
“Later,” I replied.
He was slightly taken aback by this new response.
I’d heard a woman tell her young child that last week at the bakery.
It worked.
“Okay.” He clasped my necklace together, and then kissed my cheek. “We need to head up to the main house.”
I silently nodded, following him from the room.
Her hair reminded me of polished cherry wood.
Her eyes were as green as the Dahlia’s grass.
She was a gorgeous woman.
Her name was, Rebecca Moore, Declan’s ex fiancée.
His mother thought it would be okay to invite her.
She didn’t seem to notice that Declan’s, Grandmother Helga, was staring at her with what I’d learned to be was disdain.
His Grandfather’s replies were polite, but he paid more attention to me, and I wasn’t one for attention.
The uncles, Julian and Porter were having their own conversation with Declan’s father at the other end of the table.
Mason sat on the other side of Ethan, diagonal from me but across from Katie.
I ate my meal, my teeth nearly grinding every time Declan or Ethan so much as spoke to this stranger.
Their laughter had me searching for something wrong with her.
I couldn’t find anything.
So Katie and I sat speaking softly with one another, sneaking food to Max, who had found his way under the table.
Katie would occasionally send Rebecca a look that her laugh falling short, causing Mason to chuckle in response.
This was the part of feeling I hated the most. I did my best to pretend I was as numb as I’d always been.
Feelings came with all these different things I couldn’t understand. The more I began to learn about what being human was, the more I felt as if I’d spent half my life in a coma.
It was like dreaming in black and white, then suddenly, you’re wide awake and everything is in bold, blinding color.
I relished when I could just be oblivious and numb to it all.
Like at the doctors, when I knew he saw another bad memory in a scar, or in a fracture.
I couldn’t stand the idea of swallowing another pill. Mother had forced so many down my throat, the empty orange bottles could insulate a house.
Still, my sickness persevered.
Now it was stronger than ever. The roots had grown into something deep, dark, and twisted, taking whatever soul I had with it.
I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but the sickness wanted to fix everything.
Peeking at Declan and Ethan through lowered lashes, I felt the familiar warmth in my chest.
I’d be better off dead if I didn’t have them or the Andreous, but sometimes I thought they deserved someone more….
Like, Rebecca.
Perhaps they needed a woman like that, with her eyes full of light and color in her cheeks. She was
normal while I was me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Helena
He found me in the study staring at her portrait.
“Mason has her eyes,” I noted, letting him know I knew he was there.
The click of his cane across the floor alerted me of his approach.
He stood beside me, tall, strong, the matriarch of his family.
“I’ve been given good reason to believe she’s still alive.”
If he believed it then that more than likely meant she was.
“I’m only telling you this because I know you won’t tell anyone else.”
He was right, I wouldn’t.
“I tried to fix my Mother and Buddy because I wanted a perfect family. It didn’t work. They still didn’t want me.”
He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. Something I’m certain he wouldn’t do if anyone else was watching.
“And why is it that you fix everyone else?”
“I make them whole, I make them better.”
He nodded, squeezing the shoulder he still hadn’t let go of.
“You want things to feel like they belong. So you make them whole inside because you aren’t. And you know you never will be.”
I nodded. “I’m only telling you this because I know you won’t say anything until the time is right. And then you’ll tell them all.”
He laughed softly under his breath.
“I like you Helena.”
“I like you too Julian.”
His last words to me were, “We all want to belong somewhere. It’s a primal need.”
Then he dropped his hand, and I made for the doorway, now done with our weekly chat.
This is how they always went. They were always in the dark of the study, as a fire quietly crackled in the background, and the love of his life watched over us.
He knew more about me than anyone else, because, Mr. Julian Andreou wasn’t whole himself.
He was waiting on an answer.
Now Declan was here too.
Their stares were just as intense as they’d always been.
The darkness and flickering candles helped me focus on the conversation.
“I see you both with other girls,” I began.
“You think we’re cheating on you?” They asked nearly at the same time.
I shook my head no, beginning to trace an invisible pattern on the bedspread.
“I don’t know what the three of us are. I don’t know why you won’t be with someone normal like—.”
“Rebecca,” Declan cut in, beginning to unbutton his dress shirt.
“Is this only because of tonight?” Ethan asked.
I looked up then, eyes shifting between them.
“What do you want with a girl like me when you could have someone like her?”
“She isn’t anything like you.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“It’s the most terrible thing we’ve ever heard,” Declan replied, coming to stand in front of me.
“You look…sad,” he murmured, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
“Sometimes I feel like there’s needles in my chest.” I placed his hand over my heart when as I said this.
“That’s pain, baby girl,” Ethan explained, climbing onto his side of the bed in his black briefs. “Do you feel it a lot?”
“When Daddy called me strange. When Mother said she was tired of trying to love me. When I knew I would always be lonely.”
I couldn’t bring myself to tell them the last part; it was the biggest secret yet.
Even now, speaking so freely made the prickliness in my chest ache and burn to the point I wanted to cut it open and fix it.
“Helena pain is a normal part of life, but you are the only girl for us, sweet heart. Don’t ever feel jealous or pain because of another woman. We don’t want anyone else. You’re fucking perfect,” Declan said firmly, forcing me to look up at him.
As he did, Ethan made his way up behind me.
“You know what we are? We’re a family. Us three, we’re our own thing. We’re endgame, we’re unique. We’re the vilest motherfuckers in this entire dinky town,” Ethan crooned, slipping his hands around my waist.
“You’re sickness makes you special. You’re pain makes you feel. We love that about you.”
They…
They loved that about me.
My sickness makes me special.
My pain makes me feel.
I leaned back into Ethan, pulling Declan towards me, lips meeting his.
In a matter of minutes we were naked.
Mouths covered my nipples, tongues flicking over the buds as one hand went to my clit and the other slid three fingers deep inside my pussy.
I wantonly moaned for them, understanding what this all was so much more now.
My pussy began to make squelching sounds as they worked it over.
They knew exactly how to touch me to get the response they wanted.
Declan curled his fingers up, massaging the sweet spot inside me. Ethan scooted down and sucked my clit into his mouth.
I dropped my head to the comforter, back slightly arching as the pressure in my core built at a dizzying pace.
“Now,” Declan commanded, pushing into me deeper.
Ethan bit down, and a spray of fluid shot from my pussy.
I cried out, writhing in pleasure, fisting the blanket.
“Damn I love when she does that,” Ethan commented, kissing my thigh when I stopped moving.
“She’s gorgeous isn’t she?” Declan asked him rhetorically, running a finger down my slit.
“Let’s try something different tonight,” he said after I’d caught my breath.
I sat up, catching the tail end of a look I couldn’t read shot in Ethan’s direction.
“Sit on this cock, baby girl,” Ethan said lying back on the bed and propping himself up on his elbows.
“No, just like this,” Declan corrected, turning me around when I tried to get on Ethan in the usual direction.
Confused for a moment, I looked down where Ethan had his cock gripped and ready for me, and slowly lowered onto it, releasing a soft moan as he stretched my walls.
Declan grabbed Ethan’s legs and placed them over his shoulders.
I watched him massage Ethan’s pink hole, slowly starting to rock myself on his cock.
Declan kept his eyes locked with mine when slowly eased himself inside Ethan’s ass.
I balanced on my feet to give him more room, grabbing Ethan’s calves where they rested on Declan’s shoulders.
“We’re going to fuck him now,” Declan told me, starting to gradually thrust in and out.
I followed his lead, moving faster.
It was an extraneous activity, but worth it. I rode his cock, bouncing up and down as Declan fucked his ass.
Ethan grabbed my hips after a minute, making me take every inch of him. My pussy quivered around him, dripping from his balls to Declan’s cock.
“Ah, yeah, baby girl.” he moaned, slapping my left cheek. “Fuck my ass harder,” he called out a minute later.
Declan pulled his shiny cock all the way out, hard muscles flexing when he slammed it back in. “Fuck his face, sweetheart,” he rasped.
I instantly lifted up and scooted back, sitting my pussy directly on Ethan’s mouth.
His tongue went right to work, a finger joining it as my moans grew louder.
I reached down and grabbed his slick cock, jerking him off as he licked my pussy.
“Ethan,” I gasped a minute later, feeling myself growing closer to the edge already.
His own moans picked up as Declan rammed his dick all the way in his beautifully toned ass.
I reached out and grabbed the globes, spreading them further so Declan could go deeper.
“Fuck, fuck,” Ethan yelled, digging his hands into my thighs, pushing his tongue deep inside me as I rode his face.
“Ethan!” I cried, stiffening as heat ratcheted up my spine.
He lifted me up, lapping at my clit.
Declan grabbed hold of my hair, roughly forcing my head to the side so he could watch Ethan swallow everything I squirted.
My legs still shaking, I didn’t object when they gently had me climb off.
I lay beside them, lazily licking the excess fluid from Ethan’s face, rolling over and facing my skull, grabbing my throw from the top of the bed.
I knew they’d go forever, waking me when they went to the shower so one could pound into my ass or pussy while the other ate what wasn’t being used.
I laid there listening to the sounds of them fucking as my moths fluttered about.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Helena
They told me I didn’t have to go.
I’d already agreed, though.
Molly drove us after work, since I didn’t have a license yet. She chatted the whole way to her house, avoiding all of my questions about Dad.
When she pulled into the driveway, I noticed his car was missing, but there was two others taking up space
“He and mom are out of town,” she explained, flashing me a smile.
I nodded, fighting away the prickles in my chest.
I didn’t understand why he was ignoring me now. Didn’t he want to see me after already being apart for so long already?
Climbing out of Molly’s car, I grabbed my new bag, watching as two girls did the same in round bubble like Volkswagen, and a lone girl in a Lexus.
“Hey, this is Amy, Danielle, and Meg,” she pointed to each in order, blonde, blonde, and colorful pixie.
“Girls, this Helena, the one we’ve been talking about,” she looped her arm around my shoulder and tried to hug me.
I stepped away, not liking all the instant contact.
“See,” she laughed, holding a palm out towards me as if I were on display.
As I had the thought, it occurred to me that maybe I was.
The girls snickered, all except for Meg. I didn’t have any friends until Katie, but I’d watched enough television and had enough common sense to know when girls were being…girls.
I wasn’t sure why Molly was behaving this way. When she text me it was always friendly.
They began to trail into the house, leaving me to awkwardly follow.
DEPRAVITY: Love Depraved Page 14